new to this site, support needed

day 3 of restart
got up still feeling headachey. so i had my 1st shake about 10am, thought this may help as usualy i dont have one till luchtime. im sure i must have drunk about 4litres of water today, its been so warm again. havent realy shaken off the headache although now it is just a dull fuzzy feeling. visited my inlaws straight from school and spent a nice evening with them. i really wanted to keep away from weighing scales but when i went up to the toilet i just couldnt resist getting on their scales. according to them i have lost 5lbs already whoop whoop!!!!! im over the moon and its realy made the headache worth it lol. dont have official weigh in til a week on sunday but id say this is a fantastic start. realy happy with myself.xx
 
day 4 of restart

felt a bit rubbish with myself today, really weepy. got lots going on at the moment and im at the end of my tether i think. been feeling like this for months but i just put on a smily front all the time n just get on with it. im sure tomorrow i will feel better.
tomorrow is mine n hubbys 13th wedding anniversary so im sure il be more cheerful. thing is we cant even go out for a nice meal or anything. so much revolves around food and drink lol. hubby sez in a couple of weeks when i can eat a bit if choose to he will take me somewhere. so will just have 1 nite off for that. even though we not going out tomorrow night the kids will be out at grandparents so at least we can snuggle up on settee n enjoy the peace n quiet n watch a film or something.
not drank very much water today. just havent felt like it. will do better tomorrow.xx
 
aw dani! i am back off hols and not back on cd until tomorrow. glad you are back on cd but so sad to hear you are down. i am the same, feel donw but put on a smiley face sometimes. believe me it catches up with you as you can put a smile on for others but you cant fool yourself for long. i used to get really low and now know it was some form of late post natal depression, i still have low days and cd makes it worse sometimes. as mums we always come back of the list dont we? i seem to have lost who i was in these last 7 years and its a struggle to find myself. i think i have gained about 1 stone but am fine with this as know i can lose between 7-10lbs when i start tomorrow. one thing i have realised is that dieting is gonna have to be with me for the rest of my life.

chin up girl and once i start tomorrow you watch these pounds fly off us!! when do you weigh in?
 
yey im so glad you are back. i need you!!!!! yep thats just how i feel. im here just to make the household flow. i know my hubby n kids love me but do just feel sometimes im just here to do everything.
oh well its no good moaning.
im back on CD tomorrow aswell, as last night i decided to sod CD and go n celebrate anniversary wi hubby n have a nice meal. we went somewhere we have been a few times and like but for some reason it wasnt so good. but at least we went out n did something. took kids to park fair n museum this morn and i ended up having a panini in the cafe so im back on track from tomorrow. i dont get weighed till next sunday so if ive gained a couple lbs i wont know anyway. my scales arent working so just going to see what happens next sunday when i see CDC. but even though i have gone off track so early on it was for a reason last night im im going to stick at it.
leeds im realy so glad you are back, we can help and motivate each other. thank u for writing to me.xx
 
hi dani. glad you had a meal out with hubs. you would have felt even more depressed if you didnt do somethign nice.

i am back on track today and praying i stick to it, as i know if i get today done the rest of the week will be fine. please help me dani as i feel a bit sad. dont know why, i think its cos mentally ihave kind of said goodbye to food, am expecting headaches, know my holiday and well and truly over, and feel like 14lbs is too much for me to claw back. i really need some help. i have had 2 litres and a shake today and am feeling a bit sick but i need to start losing this 14lbs or else it will spiral. i am pleased with myself for getting back on track as planned, but i wish i was normal and didnt have to do this. i know once i get into the zone i wont be bothered by cd at all, but today i am feeling a bit emotional. how you doing lady?
 
hiya leeds, well i read what you wrote n had a chuckle to myself. not laughing at you, but at how amazed i was that you wrote more or less the same thing to me as what i said to my hubby 10mins before logging on here. how bizarre is that.
im back on track n have drunk 1 n half litres water n im just having my 1st shake of the day - choc orange.
been really busy all morning n just made sauasage casserole n yorkshire puds that family are tucking into whilst im on here. hubby said why dont i start tomorrow n have some dinner n i said if i do that it may not be tommorow n i might end up putting it off all week, said im mad at myself for eating crap n putting 12lbs back on. ive said when i do get comfortable with my weight im going to act like a woman who needs to keep herself in check n not just over indulge whenever i feel like it. will have treats but in moderation. or try to not consider food treat all the time but buy myself a small bunch of flowers or a nice top now and then when i look nice in things again.
its hard knowing that as a family we will be doing things through the summer and food is involved in every day activites, camping, days out etc, everyone eats. so im not going to say im doing this for 8wks or whatever. im definately on this until the end of july then i will assess how i feel at the weight ive got to and if we are doing anything special i may have a few days off. we are going to be using inlaws caravan in the holidays so i will just see how i feel.
im sure i can get off the 12lbs off by the end of july, another stone would be nice aswell but who knows, got to stay positive though.
im so glad i have set myself going again.
leeds im sure we can get off what we have put on..... be strong girl, you have done it before you can do it again. plus i keep saying if we have lots of warm days, you dont want to eat big meals anyway so a nice cool shake is just nice.
good luck leeds for the rest of the week and we will chat again soon.xx
 
well i really let myself down last night. had pizza n a few galaxy counter things, quite a few.
but that is it, start of a fresh week today. dont know whats up with me, only a week in and im being so weak.
ive decided that when i have done school run im straight back home to clean all day, hopefully il burn a few of yesterdays calories too. im going to hoover, polish, mop kitchen floor, clean all light fittings, clean windows, clean tops of all kitchen units then clean bathroom if ive time before going to school at 3. should keep my mind off food. think il do kids n hubbys tea n go have a nice soak then def early to bed for me as its looking to me that my nights are when im weak with the diet. reall wana get this weight shifted so why am i letting myself down!!!!
good look to all CD dieters today.xx
 
hi dani! wow, am so impressed with your schedule. i need to do loads of housework too but am feeling so ill. thats why i couldnt come online last night to check up on you. it was the worst cd day i have ever had! anyway, made it through and hoping today is better as if it is as bad as yesterday i will have to eat as i couldnt deal with it yesterday and have to be in a fit state for when my kids are around. its so hard restarting isnt it? i long for the days when i had sats off and came back on a sunday with no side effects. it shows how much crap i must have eaten on holiday for day 1 on cd to be that bad!

youve inpsired me to do some housework. as soon as this headache goes i am gonna attack the kitchen. keep popping in. evenings are my downfall too!
 
hiya leeds, well i did everything on my list apart from the bathroom. took down curtains at both ends of room n washed, dryed, ironed n got back up instead. just done kids a quick tea of scrambled eggs n beans on toast, healthy n quick today. ive just had my 1st shake of the day as ive been too busy to stop. im glad i havent stopped really because i really want to eat something. i dont know whats up with me. the 1st time i did Cd i was so determined and i dont know where that positivity has gone.
ive been arguing with myself (in my head) all day that i should really do a healthy eating diet and show my daughters that its best to eat properly n not do diets like this but who am i kidding. im crap at dieting and thats why i have to do something extreme like this. i realy should eat healthily all the time and just allow small treats now and then. as a woman who has had 2 kids i know im not how i was when i was 18 and could eat anything and never put a lb on. child bearing changes your body.
i so want to eat something, maybe its because ive only drank about half a litre because ive been busy. im going to get in the bath in a min and have a nice soak. my back is killing with all the jobs ive done. surely ive lost at least a lb today.
hope i feel differently in a day or so, i cant stop thinking about what i could be eating!!!
leeds i dont know how to get you throught today as i dont know how im guna survive myself. if i win the lotto anytime soon il book you in with me and we can have that fat cut n sucked how does that sound lol.
hope you didnt do as much housework as me as you sound like you need to put yr feet up and relax. get ya headache sorted 1st, the housework can wait eh.
tek care hun and heres to another CD day tomorrow.xx
 
well where do i begin. yesterday i gave up!!!! i didnt over eat or anything but my eldest daughter needs me to eat healthily with her. she isnt fat but solid, shes size 12 in clothes, size 6 shoes, just as tall as ya average woman but she has such a podgy belly. ive decided to use the shakes i have as brekkie n dinner and then have a healthy tea. yest i had a strawberry shake in the day then for tea i had scrambled eggs and beans on 2 toast. today at some point im going to go shopping and stock up on healthy stuff. really determined to get emily to see food better. shes not as lucky as i was, i was never fat anywhere, even at 18 when i met my hubby i only weighed 9 stone. wasnt untill i had 1st child that my weight ballooned. so it may take me longer to loose weight but im going to try my hardest, me and em can help each other. going to oil my bike(it squeeks) so me n em can go on a couple of bike rides a week. just had a choc mint shake.xx
 
dani, dont give yourself a hard time. i know a girl who did cd with 2 shakes and a normal meal at night and she is still losing and doing it her own way. its hard to do, so dont give yourself a hard time. i must admit that if i had a daughter who was that age i too would not want to do cd. however, i really think you should do cd for a fortnight to lose as much as you can and then go onto healthy eating. if you tell yourself its for 2 weeks you can stick to it, and then you will be so near 11 stone that it will motivate you to eat healthily. for me, i need to get rid of this holiday weight fast to get in the zone again. the longer i leave cd the more i fail that is why ihave pushed myself to day 3 and am feeling much better today.

if you do decide on just healthy eating then i am with you 100%. you seem to be really active so that together with healthy eating will be brill for you. just stay on here and let me know how you get on! i always keep an eye out for you!

oh, and if i win the lottery, its gonna be a GREAT holiday for us 2 first, then a spa break to detox then personal chefs to cook us great healthy meals, a nanny each, a cleaner each, and membrship to a fab local gym.!!!!
 
leeds i hope 1 of us wins that lotto lol.
i forgot to say the other day but it hit home a bit aswell when my 5yr old daughter told me she was a bit worried about me cos i wasnt eating anything. bless her. kids are so funny. the things they notice and you dont realise that they notice. im happy today. had a shake this morn, then for tea ive just had a ham salad sarnie with a smear of low fat salad cream, it was low fat bread. its amazing how much better i feel knowing im eating and making good choices. hubby having pork steaks n chips, which i could happily have but had my healthy tea. proud of myself. im due on this week though and thats when i really crave chocolate. will try my best though. going to have a low fat yoghurt in a bit. must try and keep up the drinking, will have a pint of water in a min as thats usually another downfall. i only drink good ammounts when doing CD.
i will keep coming and writing on your page. i know we not doing exactly the same now but support is still good. i went to my friends house straight from school this morn n got weighed, her scales say im 12st 10. so even though ive mucked about im still 4lb down from what i was at CDC house. will try n remember batteries for my scales then stick to weighing myself once a week. when do you get weighed next? im sorry if you have already told me, i forget everything lol. will try n have my weigh day the same as yours then we can both look forward(if thats the right word lol) to congratulating each other. keep up the good work hun.xx
 
well last night i sat down with my friends weightwatcher books and worked out that i can have 22 points and my daughter can have 26. ive realized that em will be eating a lot more than she usually does when we cut her down. shes really happy with everything we talked about and is hopeful to just try n loose half a stone and see how she feels at that.
im feeling very positive for us and know we can work together now and hel,p each other.xx
 
dani - you sound really positive, and i really hope you get some good results. you are doing it the best way for you and em and your posts sounds so much happier! its amazing what changing plan has done for you. i am thinking of moving soon myself.
 
yep im not feeling miserable anymore and im still im control of things. em is happy as she is able to eat more than normal. im happy with myself as ive turned chocolate n biscuits down even though i can eat them within my points allowance, im choosing to have better alternatives or something that will fill me more for the same points. and crunching away on zero point carrot sticks isnt so bad lol. you ought to join me on ww, once you know what ya doing its good and nothing isrestricted.
i have even had a piece of kfc chicken and reg fries for dinner today as me and hubby were out n about, and it wont affect anything because i have the points for it. not going to do that every day but once in a while wont hurt. my TOM is due anytime now and i always crave choc so i may have to use daily allowance on choc at some point this week lol. but im glad its going to be now this week then ive got a few weeks till next one.
saying thaat ive got pre assessment on 21st july and then have to wait for a date to be given to be sterilised. my periods will then be all over the place for a while.so i may need to work hard at my diet then but im determined that i will never hit 13stone ever ever again lol.
so tonight i think im going to have a baked spud with beans and a big salad. yum.xx
 
mmm sounds nice dani. how come you are getting sterilised? sorry to be nosy!!!
 
hiya, im going to write this in short messages. as ive got pissed of twice now explaining myself because its taken me so long to write out that once i try to add my message it makes me sign in first and then it dissappears. got me right mad lol.
main reason for me getting sterilised is that im terrified of having an accidental pregnancy. we have 2 beautiful girls and i feel really lucky to have them when you consider lots of couples (for whatever reason) cannot have children or there are people who have disabled children, im so lucky that my 2 are healthy and happy.
 
also in oct 2008 i had to go to a hospital in portsmouth(4hrs away from home) for a big operation on my hip. had to have right hip socket broken in 3 places and also my pelvis broken and all pined back together by titanium pins. ive been told that by the time im 40 i will probably need a replacement. been told the replacement op isnt as bad as the op ive already had bt i just dont think my body could take being pregnant again as i am still in so much pain caused by arthritis.xx
 
i had to have the op in 2008 as a result of my bones just wearing so much, i was born with a dislocated hip, which wasnt picked up at birth, instead i was 18months old therefore i had to have numerous operations throughout my childhood. i dont think it helped that i had both my daughters naturally. i think i really should have had sections but was never advised of this.
 
i had my last girl in 2005 and had roughly 9months maternity leave, when returning to work (3 12hr shifts per week) with no childcare,, it was a real struggle. i sometimes only managed to get an hr kip in the 24hr day, i think being on my legs so much and them not getting proper rest probably wore at them more than if i had had childcare. who knows. one day when i was doing the tea my back just went. its was horrendous. i had weeks and weeks of physio and hydro pool sessions. in the end they put it down to my hip. the medication i went through to control the pain was unbelieveable. i was put on cocodomol, then tramadol, then codydromol then deydrocodine then morphine patches then finally oxycontine which were really strong opiat based drugs.xx
 
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