newbie facing many challenges
- Thread starter caz78
- Start date
PrincessSparklePants
Little Miss Christmas
Four squares is always better 
Must admit I don't think I've ever tried Bornville! Glad you sound happier - just wish we could magic those dreams away
Well done on your loss love - that is AWESOME!
Must admit I don't think I've ever tried Bornville! Glad you sound happier - just wish we could magic those dreams away Well done on your loss love - that is AWESOME!
caz78
Full Member
Thanks hun! I wish there was a bit of magic too, but that's life sometimes isn't it. They aren't as bad as they were in the beginning. Those ones were horrific and dragged me down so much. It was like living a nightmare, all the pain and hurt in the day and then carrying on all night too. It would go on and on for nights on end and then suddenly stop for a few days only to come charging back. I ended up on sleeping pills as well as my little helper at that time. I have kicked him and punched him in my sleep and woken up in such a state I couldn't speak. Now they're only about once or twice a month so it's far easier.
Ooh Bourneville is yummy! It's a mild dark chocolate so you get your cocoa hit with less cals. Ever since I changed to it I can't go back to milk chocolate, it's not strong enough lol. The green and black's was way too bitter for me. Bournville is like half way between milk choc and proper dark chocolate. give it a try My little boy adores it so that shows it's not too dark. Hubby was a milk choc addict til he tried it. Now he buys milk chocolate for himself....but ends up pinching mine when I'm not looking lol.
How are you chickadee?
Caz x
Ooh Bourneville is yummy! It's a mild dark chocolate so you get your cocoa hit with less cals. Ever since I changed to it I can't go back to milk chocolate, it's not strong enough lol. The green and black's was way too bitter for me. Bournville is like half way between milk choc and proper dark chocolate. give it a try
My little boy adores it so that shows it's not too dark. Hubby was a milk choc addict til he tried it. Now he buys milk chocolate for himself....but ends up pinching mine when I'm not looking lol.How are you chickadee?
Caz x
PrincessSparklePants
Little Miss Christmas
Sounds definitely worth trying, I seem to remember there used to be some in one of the chocolate tins? I think Roses? They're totally changed from what they were now, all these HUGE sweets with their shiny wrappers that take most of the weight in the tin. I miss the bigger tins (they seemed huge as a kid) and the coffee ones and smaller wrappers. It was always such a Christmas treat - the smell of the tin. It's not the same (we haven't even got a tin of sweets this year!!) /sidetracked.
The dreams sound absolutely evil Is it worth something you can talk to a doctor about? I mean that as it might help to actually get the words out rather than off your mind - to vent at someone who isn't hubby so it can't bubble away in your head? Maybe your psych/counsellor? Glad they're 'calming' down though
I'm not too bad ta, getting organised for Christmas you ok? xxx
(we haven't even got a tin of sweets this year!!) /sidetracked.The dreams sound absolutely evil
Is it worth something you can talk to a doctor about? I mean that as it might help to actually get the words out rather than off your mind - to vent at someone who isn't hubby so it can't bubble away in your head? Maybe your psych/counsellor? Glad they're 'calming' down though I'm not too bad ta, getting organised for Christmas
you ok? xxx
caz78
Full Member
Oh I remember those! I loved the almond charms in the blue wrapper! Yep, they had little teeny bars of bournville too
I'm not seeing a therapist anymore hun, just a psychiatrist and that's just to monitor my meds. I was seeing someone at the time though and it was hugely helpful. Unfortunately you can only have so much therapy on the NHS and I've had years of it. They've done all they can really, it's down to me now. I was meant to be seeing her to help with my bipolar and anxiety but cos the affair happened at that time we mainly focussed on that. She was a Godsend. Now I talk them through with hubby and bizarrely it helps. I tell him all the horrible things he did and he reassures me he'll never do anything again and how sorry he is. He made me laugh this time, he said 'for god's sake please try and get your own back in these dreams, I'm a total b*****d, pull out a machine gun and blast me and 'her' to pieces!! I wish i could go back and knock some sense into myself!' It's crazy making stuff but his response made me smile. There's nothing anyone can do to make it better, it's a bit like being assaulted, you stop trusting people and get dragged down by the unfairness and betrayal of it. It's all why did it happen? How could that happen to me? What did I do wrong? How could someone who has been there for so long - my other half - do something so terrible?! But if you choose to stay you have to try and cope in any way you can. Sometimes it gets a bit odd, we just do whatever it takes to get me through each bad day. It helps that he's told me everything and in some way I can objectively see how he got in over his head and things snowballed. How he was dealing with my diagnosis, a new stressful job, turning 40, me losing my job. It was a lot of pressure and along comes little miss assistant 'just focus on yourself, do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about anyone else, it's your life, be like me - free and easy!' He'd never worked with a woman before, let alone a 29 yr old barmaid/ his assistant/ whore. it went from friends, to trying to impress her, how she flattered him etc etc. It helps that it was short lived and he woke up to himself. I don't bring it up all the time but we've got this far by him being accountable and making the effort to help me through it. He did it so now he has to be strong enough to help me make it through and he does all he can.
It's the hardest thing I've ever faced and I've faced some hellish stuff. Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom - what's done is done.
I love xmas!! I'm mostly sorted now, just cards and wrapping to buy. My son's birthday is the 23rd so it's always a busy time of year but I love, love, love it!
Caz x
I'm not seeing a therapist anymore hun, just a psychiatrist and that's just to monitor my meds. I was seeing someone at the time though and it was hugely helpful. Unfortunately you can only have so much therapy on the NHS and I've had years of it. They've done all they can really, it's down to me now. I was meant to be seeing her to help with my bipolar and anxiety but cos the affair happened at that time we mainly focussed on that. She was a Godsend. Now I talk them through with hubby and bizarrely it helps. I tell him all the horrible things he did and he reassures me he'll never do anything again and how sorry he is. He made me laugh this time, he said 'for god's sake please try and get your own back in these dreams, I'm a total b*****d, pull out a machine gun and blast me and 'her' to pieces!! I wish i could go back and knock some sense into myself!' It's crazy making stuff but his response made me smile. There's nothing anyone can do to make it better, it's a bit like being assaulted, you stop trusting people and get dragged down by the unfairness and betrayal of it. It's all why did it happen? How could that happen to me? What did I do wrong? How could someone who has been there for so long - my other half - do something so terrible?! But if you choose to stay you have to try and cope in any way you can. Sometimes it gets a bit odd, we just do whatever it takes to get me through each bad day. It helps that he's told me everything and in some way I can objectively see how he got in over his head and things snowballed. How he was dealing with my diagnosis, a new stressful job, turning 40, me losing my job. It was a lot of pressure and along comes little miss assistant 'just focus on yourself, do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about anyone else, it's your life, be like me - free and easy!' He'd never worked with a woman before, let alone a 29 yr old barmaid/ his assistant/ whore. it went from friends, to trying to impress her, how she flattered him etc etc. It helps that it was short lived and he woke up to himself. I don't bring it up all the time but we've got this far by him being accountable and making the effort to help me through it. He did it so now he has to be strong enough to help me make it through and he does all he can.
It's the hardest thing I've ever faced and I've faced some hellish stuff. Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom - what's done is done.
I love xmas!! I'm mostly sorted now, just cards and wrapping to buy. My son's birthday is the 23rd so it's always a busy time of year but I love, love, love it!
Caz x
TracyGWill
Gold Member
Well done, hon, that's brilliant!
Sorry I'm being a bit quiet at the moment, just really struggling with pain levels after my op, but I'm cheering you on in the background, lol. xx
TracyGWill
Gold Member
I've got some Tramadol now, and they help a bit - at least I'm able to do my exercises.
xx
wafflewaffle
Gold Member
I've got some Tramadol now, and they help a bit - at least I'm able to do my exercises.
They scared me when I took em I felt cuckoo lol x
TracyGWill
Gold Member
I think I must be impervious to painkillers, lol - I just feel slightly fuzzy, but nothing significant. They do take the edge off the pain though, which is good.
xx
PrincessSparklePants
Little Miss Christmas
I didn't get on with tramadol either, I didn't feel any different. But then I only had 2 . Was when we were emptying twat's house and my back spasmed. Glad you're doing alright Tracy x
How are you getting on hun?
xHow are you getting on hun?
PrincessSparklePants
Little Miss Christmas
You okay love? xx
