nibbling my way thru the queasy!
- Thread starter Dis
- Start date
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Oh Dis
Hope you don't mnd my nosing in on your diary...
I am so so sorry to read this... not sure what to say.. it's so personal. If there is any way he will sit and talk calmly about things with you then that may be the way to go... don't view this as the beginning of the end.. he is probably tired and maybe even feeling a bit bad about how HE has been feeling recently. Often the ones we love (and who love us) behave as if we are the ones that are in the wrong etc because in reality they know they are and are angry at themselves.
I do hope things calm down and that you can calm the waters. I also believe that in the heat of the moment we are all capable of saying things to hurt others that we would never dream of saying when rational and rested.. it doesn't mean that he meant them... it's just a kind of lashing out at the nearest and dearest.
Hope your day improves... will be thinking of you.
Hope you don't mnd my nosing in on your diary...
I am so so sorry to read this... not sure what to say.. it's so personal. If there is any way he will sit and talk calmly about things with you then that may be the way to go... don't view this as the beginning of the end.. he is probably tired and maybe even feeling a bit bad about how HE has been feeling recently. Often the ones we love (and who love us) behave as if we are the ones that are in the wrong etc because in reality they know they are and are angry at themselves.
I do hope things calm down and that you can calm the waters. I also believe that in the heat of the moment we are all capable of saying things to hurt others that we would never dream of saying when rational and rested.. it doesn't mean that he meant them... it's just a kind of lashing out at the nearest and dearest.
Hope your day improves... will be thinking of you.
Oh Dis. (((Big Hugs)))
Dont really know what to say. You do both need to sit calmly and talk about what has been said. You need to let him know how deeply he has cut you with his comments and how much he means to you.
Why would he think that you only consider him to be a paycheck? Were you working before Fynn was born? Im sure if you are anything like me, that there are days when you would love to be going to work to get a break from the house and the kids. I dont think men realise sometimes what a strain it is going through the day with no adult conversation. I had to tell my husband the same thing just a couple of months ago and then got a little part time job at the local co-op. Hardly a demanding career, but still a little something for me, and a break from the kids. Just having those few hours at work helps me to cherish the time with the kids without thinking that I am being kept prisoner in my own home.
And the sex thing. He needs to realise that you are so hung up with your body issues right now (hence trying to lose weight) that sex is the last thing on your mind sometimes.
Dis, I apologise if I have spoken out of turn but marriage is a partnership. A two way agreement and you are both responsible for its success or failure. You need to make hubby see that.
Im always here if you want to chat.
xxx
Dont really know what to say. You do both need to sit calmly and talk about what has been said. You need to let him know how deeply he has cut you with his comments and how much he means to you.
Why would he think that you only consider him to be a paycheck? Were you working before Fynn was born? Im sure if you are anything like me, that there are days when you would love to be going to work to get a break from the house and the kids. I dont think men realise sometimes what a strain it is going through the day with no adult conversation. I had to tell my husband the same thing just a couple of months ago and then got a little part time job at the local co-op. Hardly a demanding career, but still a little something for me, and a break from the kids. Just having those few hours at work helps me to cherish the time with the kids without thinking that I am being kept prisoner in my own home.
And the sex thing. He needs to realise that you are so hung up with your body issues right now (hence trying to lose weight) that sex is the last thing on your mind sometimes.
Dis, I apologise if I have spoken out of turn but marriage is a partnership. A two way agreement and you are both responsible for its success or failure. You need to make hubby see that.
Im always here if you want to chat.
xxx
morning everyone.
first and most important: a huge huge thank you for those of you who listened and let me "vent". its nice to know we can get a little more than just CD support in this place. thank you thank you.
2nd,
i feel a little silly for posting something so incredibly personal and serious.
what was i thinking? i dont normally do that. perhaps the inner me knew i couldnt keep it in much longer so i had to type it out here. who can say. but please know, this sort of issue doesnt happen very often. its a rarity. wow i really feel embarassed! :sigh:
as far as things here at home, well last night when hubby came home, it seemed as though we were talking just a leeeeeettle bit closer to normal. still slightly distant. i'll have to see how the weekend plays out...i suspect (perhaps because its just what i really really want)) that things will smooth over. fingers crossed.
on the diet front, the scales seem to be reflecting loss for the week, although small so far! its ok, its always better than a gain. AND even better is that i didnt head for the fridge or cupboards when all this marital drama started. woot woot!
i hope you all have a nice weekend.
i hope i have one here as well!
take care, and thanks again for your non-CD support.
first and most important: a huge huge thank you for those of you who listened and let me "vent". its nice to know we can get a little more than just CD support in this place. thank you thank you.
2nd,
i feel a little silly for posting something so incredibly personal and serious.
what was i thinking? i dont normally do that. perhaps the inner me knew i couldnt keep it in much longer so i had to type it out here. who can say. but please know, this sort of issue doesnt happen very often. its a rarity. wow i really feel embarassed! :sigh: as far as things here at home, well last night when hubby came home, it seemed as though we were talking just a leeeeeettle bit closer to normal. still slightly distant. i'll have to see how the weekend plays out...i suspect (perhaps because its just what i really really want)) that things will smooth over. fingers crossed.
on the diet front, the scales seem to be reflecting loss for the week, although small so far! its ok, its always better than a gain. AND even better is that i didnt head for the fridge or cupboards when all this marital drama started. woot woot!
i hope you all have a nice weekend.
i hope i have one here as well!
take care, and thanks again for your non-CD support.
good morning dieters & lurkers!
ok theres a couple things to write about so i'll get the most dramatic one out of the way...the marital issue i've been having. well, to put it in a nutshell, if thats possible, friday was a big row, went to bed angry and unsolved...sautrday afternoon, had the biggest row we've ever had in all 7 years we've been married. i felt so bad that my neighbors heard us, im assuming they did, ayways. i left the house and went for a long walk and a little time at the park with fynn...one of the mums in the playgroup met me there to chat. i came home a few hours later, we had both cooled off. ((clearly its what we needed)). it just got to the point where he said he couldnt be intimate with me ever cos he thinks it may be uncomfy, and that he doesnt think any counseling will help. ((i suspect this was him in the height of his feelings, needing time to himself without me badgering him, etc)) cos you know what some of us can be like: we want to know the answers right then and now and if its not what we wanna hear, well, we get irrate or frustrated. heheh.
soo, saturday evening, bedtime. he came in late, i was staring at the ceiling. 2am. we started chatting. and i took chance and reached over to touch his back...and we spent the night up, chatting and sorting out what we need to mend and how. sunday: we had some time apart, we had prior plans to do different things that day. it helped. the tie apart helped. to close the subject: things are ok now. and things arent totally fixed. but we are working on that. and it will take time as you all know. im just pleased that he had time to think about what we have and that its worth working hard for. siholog:
now!! onto the good stuff! today was weigh in day. i suspected this week wouldnt be very high of a loss as ive been skimping on the water and i was in a position twice this week to have a bit of food. like yesterday, out with the inlaws, i left the tetra at home, and we wetn to a lovely pub in Conwy...i had a green salad with dressing on the side. gave the croutons to fynn. hehehe. oh and i had a chicken breast the other night. soooo, a few more calories than i shouldve had and less water than i shouldve taken in means: 2lbs off this week! i really expected one. or to break even. i'm just 4lbs away from 3 stone gone. this weeks goal: lose those 4 lbs! get to the 3 stone mark!!
oh and i'm gonna do the xmas challenge....
ok, fynn is about to get into the tv cupboard! better run. hope you are all well!!!!
ciao 4 now!!!!
ok theres a couple things to write about so i'll get the most dramatic one out of the way...the marital issue i've been having. well, to put it in a nutshell, if thats possible, friday was a big row, went to bed angry and unsolved...sautrday afternoon, had the biggest row we've ever had in all 7 years we've been married. i felt so bad that my neighbors heard us, im assuming they did, ayways. i left the house and went for a long walk and a little time at the park with fynn...one of the mums in the playgroup met me there to chat. i came home a few hours later, we had both cooled off. ((clearly its what we needed)). it just got to the point where he said he couldnt be intimate with me ever cos he thinks it may be uncomfy, and that he doesnt think any counseling will help. ((i suspect this was him in the height of his feelings, needing time to himself without me badgering him, etc)) cos you know what some of us can be like: we want to know the answers right then and now and if its not what we wanna hear, well, we get irrate or frustrated. heheh.
soo, saturday evening, bedtime. he came in late, i was staring at the ceiling. 2am. we started chatting. and i took chance and reached over to touch his back...and we spent the night up, chatting and sorting out what we need to mend and how. sunday: we had some time apart, we had prior plans to do different things that day. it helped. the tie apart helped. to close the subject: things are ok now. and things arent totally fixed. but we are working on that. and it will take time as you all know. im just pleased that he had time to think about what we have and that its worth working hard for.
siholog:now!! onto the good stuff! today was weigh in day. i suspected this week wouldnt be very high of a loss as ive been skimping on the water and i was in a position twice this week to have a bit of food. like yesterday, out with the inlaws, i left the tetra at home, and we wetn to a lovely pub in Conwy...i had a green salad with dressing on the side. gave the croutons to fynn. hehehe. oh and i had a chicken breast the other night. soooo, a few more calories than i shouldve had and less water than i shouldve taken in means: 2lbs off this week! i really expected one. or to break even. i'm just 4lbs away from 3 stone gone. this weeks goal: lose those 4 lbs! get to the 3 stone mark!!
oh and i'm gonna do the xmas challenge....
ok, fynn is about to get into the tv cupboard! better run. hope you are all well!!!!
ciao 4 now!!!!
Toothfairy
Full Member
Hi Dis I am sorry to hear about you and hubbys problems, hopefully they will sort themselves out soon I know i can sympathise with you its defintaly not easy being married!! Anyway good on you for losing 2 lbs this week that is great i will keep fingers crossed for losing 4 to get to 3 stone. That is fab!! Keep up good work.
I know i can sympathise with you its defintaly not easy being married!! Anyway good on you for losing 2 lbs this week that is great i will keep fingers crossed for losing 4 to get to 3 stone. That is fab!! Keep up good work.Morning Dis. Well done on the 2lb this week. With what you have had to put up with this week you have done so well to keep on track.
Really glad you managed to have a talk with hubby. Sometimes we do say really hurtful things to each other in the heat of the moment and then regret it when we have had time to calm down. I do hope that things mend soon for you.
Well done for taking up the Christmas Challenge, although you havent quite got 3 stone left to lose so you should be at goal and maintaining by Xmas. How cool is that going to be!
Have a good day today Dis.
xxx
Really glad you managed to have a talk with hubby. Sometimes we do say really hurtful things to each other in the heat of the moment and then regret it when we have had time to calm down. I do hope that things mend soon for you.
Well done for taking up the Christmas Challenge, although you havent quite got 3 stone left to lose so you should be at goal and maintaining by Xmas. How cool is that going to be!
Have a good day today Dis.
xxx
Hi Dis I am sorry to hear about you and hubbys problems, hopefully they will sort themselves out soon
thank you TF!
hope you are doing well today also. oh and yes, things are smoothing out, slowly but surely, with the hubby. like everything worth keep hold of, it will take time. very much like this diet!
take care!
xmas challenge..
hiya sam! i'll let you in on a little secret:
the goal i have set on my ticker is my first major goal. once i get to that goal (or, rather, the 3 stone xmas challenge) i'll re-evaluate the situation and make the decision to go down to bmi 25 instead of just 27.
in fact, i'll just change it now to reflect the xmas challenge to save myself from forgetting the goal! plus i've heard that the recommendation is to lose more than your goal due to the high percentage of regaining a little (hopefully only a little) once we get back to normal food. only makes sense, really!
i hope you are well..i'm going to pop into your diary in just a mo to see how you are. chat soon!
hiya sam! i'll let you in on a little secret:
the goal i have set on my ticker is my first major goal. once i get to that goal (or, rather, the 3 stone xmas challenge) i'll re-evaluate the situation and make the decision to go down to bmi 25 instead of just 27.
in fact, i'll just change it now to reflect the xmas challenge to save myself from forgetting the goal! plus i've heard that the recommendation is to lose more than your goal due to the high percentage of regaining a little (hopefully only a little) once we get back to normal food. only makes sense, really!
i hope you are well..i'm going to pop into your diary in just a mo to see how you are. chat soon!
i thought the xmas ticker would add to the goal...the aim of it all. hey whatever helps right??
and also, looking forward to a slimmer xmas. i didnt start celebrating xmas until i was 17 or 18 years old and thats about when i started to balloon, but thats a whoooooole different chat show topic! anyways, i'm really really looking forward to getting clothes (as people always get me for xmas and i'm grateful) but ones that dont say 3x (american generic fat girl sizes) and 22/24, xxxl, etc etc.
its a motivating dream, isnt it? all within reach.
and also, looking forward to a slimmer xmas. i didnt start celebrating xmas until i was 17 or 18 years old and thats about when i started to balloon, but thats a whoooooole different chat show topic! anyways, i'm really really looking forward to getting clothes (as people always get me for xmas and i'm grateful) but ones that dont say 3x (american generic fat girl sizes) and 22/24, xxxl, etc etc.
its a motivating dream, isnt it? all within reach.
ok, so its finally here. this crazy crazy rainfalll they've been promising. i dont mind it at all, its making me want to have a duvet day! the only downfall is that i havent been getting out walking the trails with the other moms here in the village...so little to no exercise this week.
as stated before, my goal for this week is 4 lbs. and this morning, i took a little cheating chance to see how i was doing this week so far. if all goes well the rest of the week, no nibbling, etc, i'll be able to mark off my 3rd goal (lighter than hubby, as i'm 195 now, just need to get below it for it to count) AND i'll reach the 3st mark...big goals this week.
ok, baby is already awake from his nap. dang it! he only just went down 45 minutes ok!! oh well, so much for working on my painting.
hope you are all well. will catch up later.
as stated before, my goal for this week is 4 lbs. and this morning, i took a little cheating chance to see how i was doing this week so far. if all goes well the rest of the week, no nibbling, etc, i'll be able to mark off my 3rd goal (lighter than hubby, as i'm 195 now, just need to get below it for it to count) AND i'll reach the 3st mark...big goals this week.
ok, baby is already awake from his nap. dang it! he only just went down 45 minutes ok!! oh well, so much for working on my painting.
hope you are all well. will catch up later.
Toothfairy
Full Member
Hi Dis hope all is well with you and you and oh are back on track. How is your week going with cd, did you manage to get out for the walk you wanted to? The weather has been absolutley naff hasnt it, had to drive to birmingham yesterday and it was vvv bad weather. Anyway just popping in to say hi
thank you boofie! i am too! i am slightly confident that i will reach it by monday morning. i've bee pretty good this week. only a couple momentary/slight mishaps (nibble of cheese or meat...)). but i still feel pretty good about it all. watch this space as that mood changes week to week as we alll know!
and toothfairy, thanks for popping in and checking on how its all going for me. i do hope you are doing just as well!
sam, oh sam...you'll get past this i hope. and perhaps in a ocuple weeks you'll wonder "what the hell was i thinking??". all will be good.
my husband said to me this morning: "i was cuddling you in your sleep last night and i think for the first time, you actually felt like a much smaller person..." woot woot!!! awww
also, im pretty sure i weigh less than him so now, its all about making new mini-goals....
hope you all have a lovely weekend.
and toothfairy, thanks for popping in and checking on how its all going for me. i do hope you are doing just as well!
sam, oh sam...you'll get past this i hope. and perhaps in a ocuple weeks you'll wonder "what the hell was i thinking??". all will be good.
my husband said to me this morning: "i was cuddling you in your sleep last night and i think for the first time, you actually felt like a much smaller person..." woot woot!!! awww
also, im pretty sure i weigh less than him so now, its all about making new mini-goals....
hope you all have a lovely weekend.
Egad! Where did all this rain come from??
so much for cutting back the hedges today! oh, wait. i mean: so much for HUBBY trimming the hedges today. heheh. its been chuckin it down all day for the most part. i do luv the rain, exceot when i need to do work outside. hehehe
so far this week, i think (and i could be wrong) but i suspect i have lost what i aimed for...4lbs. again, i could be wrong. and i dont weigh in until monday morning. if i could hit 5, i will be totally pleased and amazed.
and on that note: amazement will be because i cant seem to stop picking today. i've had sliced ham, a cheesestring, and ((gulp)) a bite of sponge, no frosting. i'm kicking myself in the a** right now.
every once in a while i will get these days, i have found. and i know that quitting is not an option. perhaps its because my mind is getting too cocky with the loss i've had so far...over confident. who can say.
i just need to get the hell out of the kitchen. and stay out. obviously i cant go for a walk or garden.
i'll just.. errr... lock the kitchen door.
ok. so here's me getting back up from my slight hurdles of today, dusting off and only consuming water for the rest of the day.
hope you are all well.
so much for cutting back the hedges today! oh, wait. i mean: so much for HUBBY trimming the hedges today. heheh. its been chuckin it down all day for the most part. i do luv the rain, exceot when i need to do work outside. hehehe
so far this week, i think (and i could be wrong) but i suspect i have lost what i aimed for...4lbs. again, i could be wrong. and i dont weigh in until monday morning. if i could hit 5, i will be totally pleased and amazed.
and on that note: amazement will be because i cant seem to stop picking today. i've had sliced ham, a cheesestring, and ((gulp)) a bite of sponge, no frosting. i'm kicking myself in the a** right now.
every once in a while i will get these days, i have found. and i know that quitting is not an option. perhaps its because my mind is getting too cocky with the loss i've had so far...over confident. who can say.
i just need to get the hell out of the kitchen. and stay out. obviously i cant go for a walk or garden.
i'll just.. errr... lock the kitchen door.
ok. so here's me getting back up from my slight hurdles of today, dusting off and only consuming water for the rest of the day.
hope you are all well.
westiegirl
Gold Member
Hi Dis
Hope you are ok and the kitchen door is firmly closed. Haven't been posting for a bit but I bit the bullet and I'm back on CD again (we probably have the same CDC - think that she's the only one around here). Doing ok but I know how hard it can be. Last Sunday I was the same - picked the whole day. But Monday back to it no problem. It was my birthday yesterday and I was out Thursday night and felt rubbish yesterday so I ate (3 meals no picking). Again back to it today!
You're doing really well and the forecast for tomorrow is a bit drier so you should be able to get out and walk so that will help.
Enjoy the rest of Saturday xxx
Hope you are ok and the kitchen door is firmly closed. Haven't been posting for a bit but I bit the bullet and I'm back on CD again (we probably have the same CDC - think that she's the only one around here). Doing ok but I know how hard it can be. Last Sunday I was the same - picked the whole day. But Monday back to it no problem. It was my birthday yesterday and I was out Thursday night and felt rubbish yesterday so I ate (3 meals no picking). Again back to it today!
You're doing really well and the forecast for tomorrow is a bit drier so you should be able to get out and walk so that will help.
Enjoy the rest of Saturday xxx
