.Nicki. - time flies.

awww sweetie :bighug: hope you are not coming down with anything :bighug: the healthy food will help fight the bugs. I always add chopped carrot to mince. Love them cooked this way, they are also yummy roasted :D I just cut them lenghways and dice them.

I hide alot of veg in mince and stews as love them this way. Last night for the first time I had roasted veg and did carrots, red onions, beetroot, peppers and it was yummy yet i would never normally have made it.

I drink the fizzy water sometimes when fancy a treat. Had some at lunch with grape and peach high juice as was yummy as tasted like schloer :D

hope you feel better later :bighug: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
aw hope nothing comes of it hun.

I just had roast veg with lunch mmm its so good. I add some herbs and garlic too.

hope you have a good day hun xx
 
big hugs hun, i felt so rough the start of this week after having my flu jab but im much better now. it might just be the sudden change in weather, it seems to have got so cold all of a sudden when it was quite mild before. xx
 
A bit better now, i realized something today which has made me feel better. I'm a 22 stone girl, i didn't get to this weight eating dainty portions. Slimpods have made my head not want to eat as much but my stomach hasn't caught up yet, i'm feeling hungry because i'm not eating everything in sight like i usually do on a diet. So i think i just have to wait for my stomach to shrink a little and then i'll be ok.
I've just had my tea and it included 3 vegetables :eek: 4 if you include potatoes yes shocking isn't it. I didn't think these would be able to fix food issues i've had since childhood but they are, if only a little. For those who don't know me that well, since childhood if i see or taste veg (apart from sweetcorn,baked beans and cucumber) i gag (oh and soup) i've never gotten over it as an adult despite trying to hide it in things, cooking it different ways. Today i made shepards pie and grated in a couple of pretty big carrots, thinking they'd dissovle into the gravy but they didn't. So i decided to have beans with a portion because i thought i'd just have to scrape the mash off because i could see carrot i wouldn't be able to eat the mince. But as i dished up it looked lush, even with carrots in it and i sat down and happily cleared my plate (apart from a few beans because i was stuffed) I also only had half the pie, usually i could easily eat the whole thing in one sitting although i wouldn't usually have beans. It tasted different obviously, i used value stock cubes and i think they are a lot saltier then oxo cubes so i think the taste difference was that rather then the carrots. I added pictures as proof :D and i had the smaller portion of the pie!
So now i'm sat here with a full belly, a glass of squash and half a pie left for tomorrow (or tonight if i get hungry again) although hubby just walked past with pizza and chips and its smells yummy!
 

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Hmmmm not having the best of days, after a week off with hubby he's now gone back to work and i'm lonely, i'm not sleeping great as i'm having nightmares every night all night and i'm just feeling very down at the moment.
I keep thinking of all the chances i've had to have a better life and i've wasted them all and now i have to spend another year like this, another year of wondering why i bothered. Another year of the in laws wondering why they don't have more grandchildren, another year in a dead end job, another year of watching everyone else move on, have babies, get everything they ever wanted, another year of slowly losing the will to live.
 
oh nicki, big hugs. dont feel down sweetie, i know thats easier said than done. but you have alot going for you. You are one of the nicest and kindest people i know, i know you'd do anything for someone else :) You are a special person and the world would be a much duller place without you xxxxxx
 
Thanks hun, just wish i could pull myself together, i hate feeling like this. I've had a good cry and spoken to hubs and feel a little better, forgotten to take my meds the last few days so prob that and the sleep thing taking its toll. I'll be ok but think i might have to not listen to the things at bedtime, see if they work in the afternoon or something.
 
aw hun ((((hugs))))
I felt like that too but i'm trying to now think of how much change im going to make over the next year. and you will too hun, hopefully this time next year it'll be a whole different story for everyone :)

maybe try listening to the pod when you wake up as you'll still be in a state of relax. xx
 
Thanks Lovelies,
I think i'm going to have to put the slimpod of hold for a bit, i tried listening during the day and again last night i had pretty bad nightmares again albeit not as many as when listening at night. I have just binged for the first time since starting this afternoon so i don't think they work for me listening during the day, But i still haven't drank coke or had chocolate!
Hubby and I agreed that although my habits have changed for the better food wise, i'm now so exhausted from the sleep disturbances and spend the morning on edge, which is making me feel down, which isn't great when i'm just getting the panic attacks back under control, i don't want to risk another meltdown so i think its just safer to stop for now. I must say that i don't think it is anything in the slimpods, i just think with my history (very recent history) of anxiety and depression my brain (when i say my brain, i mean me) is still struggling with the loss of the babies and my meds being adjusted. I do think they have given me the ompf to get back on track with a diet and i'm certainly more focused then a week ago. Just need to decide what to do for the best now.
 
good plan nicki. no point going on if your not getting any sleep. At least you know its there if you feel the need to have a go later on.
please keep posting though no matter what. xxx
 
Thanks hun, part of me wants to do a vlcd for a few months just to get a big chunk of weight off, maybe until christmas and then go onto sw again, just thought if i could get 4/5 stone of then everything would be so much easier.
 
Hi bestie,

I got your message hunni x. I'm so sorry you're feeling the way you are. I'm just going to pm you now xxx

Lots of love x
 
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