PurpleRoses
Gold Member
where r u hiding lovely?? missing your chat xx
.Nicki. - time flies.
- Thread starter .Nicki.
- Start date
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Thought i should pop in and let you guys no i'm still alive (if anyone even reads this anymore 
)
Nothing much to report, lost 3.5lbs which must be due to swimming because its certainly not the eating which in recent weeks/months has been getting more and more out of control like spending money for bills on food, lying about food, hiding evidence of food, being sick if i've eaten to much (always done it to a degree but its getting worse) broke down to the doctor and have been diagnosed with a binge eating disorder, to be honest a lot of what i've learnt so far makes a lot of sense but I didn't even no that it was an eating disorder, i thought it was either anorexia or bulimia. So i'm on the waiting list already for CBT and there are a different type of antidepressents I could take but its the opposite of what I take at the moment and he doesn't really want to mess with those as it took a long time to find the right ones. So i'm in a bit of limbo at the moment, I haven't told anyone, not even hubbs, its something to do with my deep routed fear that everyone will think i'm faking it (another mother issue) anyway not being in a great mind place things are a little weird hense why i've been off the radar.
I have made a positive choice though, actually more we.
that is my shiny new gym membership. Seeing as we've been swimming so much recently it did make sense and when we went to look around everywhere it was fab, loads of different machines, a quite area which only has a few bits of equipment, racket sports, classes for beginners, training sessions if we want them, lush private members changing room and we both can take advantage of his corporate discount so its about £20 cheaper then usual, haven't been yet as can't use the gym until our induction which is tomorrow and we swim Fridays so will swim after the induction.
Anyway thats about it, might not be around as much just not feeling the love for minis/diet at the mo, but you can always add me of facebook if anyone wants to catch up in 'real' life xxxx
)Nothing much to report, lost 3.5lbs which must be due to swimming because its certainly not the eating which in recent weeks/months has been getting more and more out of control like spending money for bills on food, lying about food, hiding evidence of food, being sick if i've eaten to much (always done it to a degree but its getting worse) broke down to the doctor and have been diagnosed with a binge eating disorder, to be honest a lot of what i've learnt so far makes a lot of sense but I didn't even no that it was an eating disorder, i thought it was either anorexia or bulimia. So i'm on the waiting list already for CBT and there are a different type of antidepressents I could take but its the opposite of what I take at the moment and he doesn't really want to mess with those as it took a long time to find the right ones. So i'm in a bit of limbo at the moment, I haven't told anyone, not even hubbs, its something to do with my deep routed fear that everyone will think i'm faking it (another mother issue) anyway not being in a great mind place things are a little weird hense why i've been off the radar.
I have made a positive choice though, actually more we.
that is my shiny new gym membership. Seeing as we've been swimming so much recently it did make sense and when we went to look around everywhere it was fab, loads of different machines, a quite area which only has a few bits of equipment, racket sports, classes for beginners, training sessions if we want them, lush private members changing room and we both can take advantage of his corporate discount so its about £20 cheaper then usual, haven't been yet as can't use the gym until our induction which is tomorrow and we swim Fridays so will swim after the induction.
Anyway thats about it, might not be around as much just not feeling the love for minis/diet at the mo, but you can always add me of facebook if anyone wants to catch up in 'real' life xxxx
glynny
Member
Thought i should pop in and let you guys no i'm still alive (if anyone even reads this anymore
Nothing much to report, lost 3.5lbs which must be due to swimming because its certainly not the eating which in recent weeks/months has been getting more and more out of control like spending money for bills on food, lying about food, hiding evidence of food, being sick if i've eaten to much (always done it to a degree but its getting worse) broke down to the doctor and have been diagnosed with a binge eating disorder, to be honest a lot of what i've learnt so far makes a lot of sense but I didn't even no that it was an eating disorder, i thought it was either anorexia or bulimia. So i'm on the waiting list already for CBT and there are a different type of antidepressents I could take but its the opposite of what I take at the moment and he doesn't really want to mess with those as it took a long time to find the right ones. So i'm in a bit of limbo at the moment, I haven't told anyone, not even hubbs, its something to do with my deep routed fear that everyone will think i'm faking it (another mother issue) anyway not being in a great mind place things are a little weird hense why i've been off the radar.
I have made a positive choice though, actually more we.
that is my shiny new gym membership. Seeing as we've been swimming so much recently it did make sense and when we went to look around everywhere it was fab, loads of different machines, a quite area which only has a few bits of equipment, racket sports, classes for beginners, training sessions if we want them, lush private members changing room and we both can take advantage of his corporate discount so its about £20 cheaper then usual, haven't been yet as can't use the gym until our induction which is tomorrow and we swim Fridays so will swim after the induction.
Anyway thats about it, might not be around as much just not feeling the love for minis/diet at the mo, but you can always add me of facebook if anyone wants to catch up in 'real' life xxxx
Hi Nicki
I have found doing my eating plan for the week then doing my shopping and only buying what i need on the plan has reduced my shopping bill and means I have everything I need for the week.
at least your'e OH goes with you swimming and to the gym, mine won't move off his computer and eats rubbish :cry:
Oh and we do read the threads
not preaching just trying to help as I know I will need kicking too
will try and get you on facebook too
keep trying thats all we can do
shrinkingalice
Silver Member
big hugs for you hun! I definately read everything you post in here by the way, just so you know! And you know where I am if you need to talk/fbook/bbm xxx
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
I'm off sick would you believe for a cold. OK so it is a little more in depth than that, at work our building is going through a refit and they were doing reception yesterday so we spent the day trying to avoid power tools, paint and ladders. At lunch yesterday I was going back in trying to squeeze through the tiny gap they'd left avoiding all the paint crap on the floor and didn't notice the guy on a platform sawing wood and walked straight into the wood that was hangover said tiny walkway (the builders think this is y fault for not looking where i was going :flamingmad:) Anyway there is no cut, its not broken, not even much of a bruise but because it was the bridge of my nose, its so tender and painful so every time i blow my nose, it just radiates pain all over my face and I woke up with a stupidly bad headache, When i phoned in I told them it was because of yesterday and now i can't go to the gym tonight:cry: and hubby is mad because i'm off!
PurpleRoses
Gold Member
aw nicki (((hugs))) hope you feel better soon. sounds painful xxx
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Ever think its just not worth fighting anymore?
sick of fighting myself mainly about food, weight, babies, myself, my moods, i'm just tired of it. My uncle put a video on facebook yesterday from when I was 10, a family bbq round my grans, I kept hiding from the camara even back then because I thought I was fat, I wasn't fat, I was a normal pretty little 10 year old. It also showed my beautiful Gran, it upset me to the point where even the day after i'm in bits, well i'm not sure it was entirely that but it opened the flood gates i've had closed for the last couple of months and now i can't control it, I had to leave work after 3 hrs because I had 1 bad call and could not stop crying, if i'm not sobbing then its just the drip, drip, drip of constant tears.
So yeah, i'm tired.
sick of fighting myself mainly about food, weight, babies, myself, my moods, i'm just tired of it. My uncle put a video on facebook yesterday from when I was 10, a family bbq round my grans, I kept hiding from the camara even back then because I thought I was fat, I wasn't fat, I was a normal pretty little 10 year old. It also showed my beautiful Gran, it upset me to the point where even the day after i'm in bits, well i'm not sure it was entirely that but it opened the flood gates i've had closed for the last couple of months and now i can't control it, I had to leave work after 3 hrs because I had 1 bad call and could not stop crying, if i'm not sobbing then its just the drip, drip, drip of constant tears.
So yeah, i'm tired.
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Its been a pretty crappy week but I did go in today and I'm doing a little overtime tomorrow to try and make some money up and then my best friend is taking me out to have my nails and eyebrows done and then some lunch.
I sold my DS today so I can try and give hubby a nice christmas, I know I hate it but he doesn't and I wanted to do something nice. I went to Argos to get a new tree (our one is too big) they'd sold out of the one he really liked but I noticed they had 2 of the same on display and I was really brave and asked if they'd let me buy the display model, as they had 2 they said I could and because there were no lights or box, they knocked £10 off.
so got a 6ft tree, with the decks attatched (great with a naughty cat about) for £20. Called hubby who was waiting in the carpark to help me carry it and his face lit up when he saw it. Bella has been trying to bat the balls already so its going to be a long december keeping her away. So i'd like to get him a nice present with some of the money and the rest will be for food and bits, less pressure on him then.
Haven't been to the gym or swimming all week and I've missed it but couldn't really go being off work, My nose is still killing me and my boss, boss, boss has got involved, apparently I may be able to claim back loss of earning as the first day was nose related and the others were lack of sleep, trapped nerve and general stress some of which was nose related. but we shall see.
I am feeling a little brighter today, still teary at times but being at work actually helped a little and helped me realise that I need to get a job I love or at least like. I'm trying to write a personal statement for an application but i'm not getting far, luckily my mother in law is a teacher so i'm just writing everything I want to say and she'll help me string it all together.
Trying to be braver and not need so much support but I'm really struggling at the moment. Not even thinking about scales at the moment, might make me cry again.
I sold my DS today so I can try and give hubby a nice christmas, I know I hate it but he doesn't and I wanted to do something nice. I went to Argos to get a new tree (our one is too big) they'd sold out of the one he really liked but I noticed they had 2 of the same on display and I was really brave and asked if they'd let me buy the display model, as they had 2 they said I could and because there were no lights or box, they knocked £10 off.
so got a 6ft tree, with the decks attatched (great with a naughty cat about) for £20. Called hubby who was waiting in the carpark to help me carry it and his face lit up when he saw it. Bella has been trying to bat the balls already so its going to be a long december keeping her away. So i'd like to get him a nice present with some of the money and the rest will be for food and bits, less pressure on him then.
Haven't been to the gym or swimming all week and I've missed it but couldn't really go being off work, My nose is still killing me and my boss, boss, boss has got involved, apparently I may be able to claim back loss of earning as the first day was nose related and the others were lack of sleep, trapped nerve and general stress some of which was nose related. but we shall see.
I am feeling a little brighter today, still teary at times but being at work actually helped a little and helped me realise that I need to get a job I love or at least like. I'm trying to write a personal statement for an application but i'm not getting far, luckily my mother in law is a teacher so i'm just writing everything I want to say and she'll help me string it all together.
Trying to be braver and not need so much support but I'm really struggling at the moment. Not even thinking about scales at the moment, might make me cry again.
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Had a lovely day with my friend, treated me like a princess had my nails done and are now all glittery and its chip proof so looks lovely (she hopes this will stop my biting them, started when I was off sick last and they're always really sore now) Had my eyebrows threaded and they are now a lovely shape for the first time in a year and had lunch. It was my non Christmas present, she knows me so well
Need to sort the food aspect of definitely but as usual I'm stuck between ww and sw, ww is easier food wise but I eat rubbish, sw is easier because of the weighing/measuring but I get bored and I struggle with EE. Going to have to dig both books out and see which one I will be likely to stick with xxx
Need to sort the food aspect of definitely but as usual I'm stuck between ww and sw, ww is easier food wise but I eat rubbish, sw is easier because of the weighing/measuring but I get bored and I struggle with EE. Going to have to dig both books out and see which one I will be likely to stick with xxx
skinnydawn
Gold Member
Evening bestie x
You are a naughty girl...selling your stuff to buy hubbs a pressie and a christmas tree! Too soft for your own good! What are we going to do with you eh?
Your honesty on here is quite humbling hunni...you're one very brave lady x I hate to read how sad you are sometimes If any of us can help sweetie you must ask, ok?
Lots of love,
Dawnie xxx :bighug:
You are a naughty girl...selling your stuff to buy hubbs a pressie and a christmas tree! Too soft for your own good! What are we going to do with you eh?
Your honesty on here is quite humbling hunni...you're one very brave lady x I hate to read how sad you are sometimes
If any of us can help sweetie you must ask, ok?Lots of love,
Dawnie xxx :bighug:
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JackieN
One day at a time, one step at a time
:bighug: sweetheart. I did put a note on my diary but you may not have seen it. Can you text my old mobile so I can get your number and text you from my new one. I smashed the screen and had to get a new one but didn't save your number :cry:
I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself huni. Little steps. There may be the odd bad day but gradually the good will outweigh the bad. Even one healthy meal a day will help. Why not aim for healthy meals as much as possible without following a specific plan for a week or so or till after xmas to ease yourself in gently. Just the word diet is enough to send me into 'binge' mode.
I hate to hear you so sad too We are here for you sweetie. I don't always get round to all diaries sweetheart, so do text me, or pm and if I am about I will always try to reply.
Just knowing you have support and friends is often enough to get us through the darkest of times.
Try slimpodding again. I feel so long as listen each day the time is not so important. I do think they help to put food to the back of our minds. Yep under huge stress they can fail alittle but I think that is why writing down 3 positives a day is so important. It took me a while and a chat with Sandra to work it all out, but writing them down sets us up to succeed and this is what its all about
Gosh hark at me waffling, but really all I am saying is, little steps, we are your friends (genuinally) we all care and we will all help you as much as we can.
PM me a link to your fb if you like :bighug: mine is set too private to search due to problems in the past. I keep it as genuine people I know or care about and no longer have hundreds of people on there hence the settings, but will add you and any of the other mini's if you send me a linky sweetheart.
You are so sweet (but norty) selling your stuff to get a tree and gift for hubby. That tree is gorgeous.
loadsa love jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself huni. Little steps. There may be the odd bad day but gradually the good will outweigh the bad. Even one healthy meal a day will help. Why not aim for healthy meals as much as possible without following a specific plan for a week or so or till after xmas to ease yourself in gently. Just the word diet is enough to send me into 'binge' mode.
I hate to hear you so sad too
We are here for you sweetie. I don't always get round to all diaries sweetheart, so do text me, or pm and if I am about I will always try to reply.Just knowing you have support and friends is often enough to get us through the darkest of times.
Try slimpodding again. I feel so long as listen each day the time is not so important. I do think they help to put food to the back of our minds. Yep under huge stress they can fail alittle but I think that is why writing down 3 positives a day is so important. It took me a while and a chat with Sandra to work it all out, but writing them down sets us up to succeed and this is what its all about
Gosh hark at me waffling, but really all I am saying is, little steps, we are your friends (genuinally) we all care and we will all help you as much as we can.
PM me a link to your fb if you like
:bighug: mine is set too private to search due to problems in the past. I keep it as genuine people I know or care about and no longer have hundreds of people on there hence the settings, but will add you and any of the other mini's if you send me a linky sweetheart.You are so sweet (but norty) selling your stuff to get a tree and gift for hubby. That tree is gorgeous.
loadsa love jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Evening bestie x
You are a naughty girl...selling your stuff to buy hubbs a pressie and a christmas tree! Too soft for your own good! What are we going to do with you eh?
Your honesty on here is quite humbling hunni...you're one very brave lady x I hate to read how sad you are sometimes
Lots of love,
Dawnie xxx :bighug:
Here is the only place I be totally honest, try not to be because I know I sound miserable about nothing most of the time but I guess that's just me!
Well I didn't really use it that much anyway and he deserves a good christmas, he's had a rough year too and sometimes I do forget that.
:bighug: sweetheart. I did put a note on my diary but you may not have seen it. Can you text my old mobile so I can get your number and text you from my new one. I smashed the screen and had to get a new one but didn't save your number :cry:
I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself huni. Little steps. There may be the odd bad day but gradually the good will outweigh the bad. Even one healthy meal a day will help. Why not aim for healthy meals as much as possible without following a specific plan for a week or so or till after xmas to ease yourself in gently. Just the word diet is enough to send me into 'binge' mode.
I hate to hear you so sad too
Just knowing you have support and friends is often enough to get us through the darkest of times.
Try slimpodding again. I feel so long as listen each day the time is not so important. I do think they help to put food to the back of our minds. Yep under huge stress they can fail alittle but I think that is why writing down 3 positives a day is so important. It took me a while and a chat with Sandra to work it all out, but writing them down sets us up to succeed and this is what its all about
Gosh hark at me waffling, but really all I am saying is, little steps, we are your friends (genuinally) we all care and we will all help you as much as we can.
PM me a link to your fb if you like
You are so sweet (but norty) selling your stuff to get a tree and gift for hubby. That tree is gorgeous.
loadsa love jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I just text you, sorry its a bit late must have missed it on your diary, think there is a link to facebook under my name on here but if not I'll pm you (will check when I post this)
I keep meaning to listen to my slimpods but I keep forgetting, bit awkward listening at night time now i'm back in hubbys room, will try though.
Not much to report, its taken most of the day but i've finished my application, Hubbs is dropping it in tomorrow morning as the deadline is 11am, bit anxious about it really, he and his parents have kind of pushed me into and I'm not sure I can handle it, its a lot of pressure. But I know a new job would probably do me the world of good, oh well nothing I can do now.
Didn't sleep very well last night, typical because the last couple of days when i've had work it's been such an effort to get out of bed but my day off, nope awake dead early! Hubbs wants to get me a kindle but I'm not sure about it, I'd like it but think there are more important things to get like a new cooker, Maisies op, he needs new clothes, I also have an ebook reader on my ipod so I can live without. x
