No shame, only loathing?

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by BigBlue, 13 September 2010 Social URL.

  1. BigBlue

    BigBlue New Member

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    Hi all,
    I'm new and could really do with a hug!

    A bit of a story, as with all of us I guess; always been chunky, in my teens I developed chronic anxiety disorder as well as my diagnosis of M.E.

    Now at 24 I'm proud to say that I have overcome my anxiety problems with the help of much therapy, and have stopped punishing myself for my slip ups in eating. Thats very much a long and traumatic story short.

    Looking back, it now occurs to me, that the only element controlling my eating, was my own fear of my own punishment. I kept myself under a certain weight, while still unhappy with my shape, and still over eating and eating incredibly poorly, simply by shame and fear of eating. Anxiety therapy leading into control aspects with binge bulimia therapy kicked that in the butt. And I'm a better person for it.

    The problem is, I now still eat, too big portions, a lot of take aways, even though I still loath how I look and how I feel, but I no longer feel shame afterwards, so, despite knowing that I need to stop doing it or I'll get both bigger and unhealthier, I still keep going.

    I'm a mess, and I've got issues, theres no two ways about that, but at least I know it.

    Please friends, I am a bright person! I am fun, and friendly and kind, but I am low. And I really need to learn from you how you stay focused, how you control the food you prepare and how you remind yourself, without punishment, that you're doing these things for a reason.

    After many months of trying to hook myself on to various methods, I have a slow cooker, we're settled on skimmed milk, I have a freezer full of WW and Tesco Light Choices meals, cans of Slim Fast in the cupboard, you name it.

    What do I do? What do YOU do?

    Over dramatic as it sounds, I really could do with someone to hold my hand and be a guide through this.

    Thank you!
     
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  3. bunny_hops

    bunny_hops Violet is shrinking

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    Hi big blue and wecome to the forum :)

    we are all here with the same mission, loose weight and get healthy,we all help each other.in the short time ive been here ive learned so much from other peoples experiences and thats great place for you to start.

    have a read through the introductions, diary threads,stories and the inspirational slideshow.... for motivation and encouragement you cant beat :D

    have you made a decision on the diet you want to follow? ww, slimming world,low fat do your own?

    theres sub forums here for all kinds of diets, they contain a lot of information and help.i mainly post on xenical as thats my diet,but ive been looking around ww and sw as there is a good amount of low fat recipes etc there :)

    have you thought about exercise? its good for the soul too ;) i have joint problems (being investigated) and exercise hurts,its not something i like doing at the moment,but i know i have to.

    i stay on track with the help of this site and the amazing people on it..i have 2 walking,talking reasons to get healthy and thats my kids..the fact if i want to live to see them grow up then ive got to get healthy :D

    take things step by step,day at a time...think before you eat...i'd definitely start a diary as it helps and post here :)

    Good look blue :)
     
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  4. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    Hi and welcome. Would it help to go to a slimming club? I think it would be worth giving it a try.

    Irene xx
     
  5. 16to10

    16to10 Now Maintaining :)

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    Hi welcome. I definitely think it would help of you start to follow a certain diet. There are so many to choose from.
     
  6. TRISTAR

    TRISTAR Silver Member

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    Welcome to Minimins, there's lots of love on here, so you'll feel at home. Are you following a specific plan?
     
  7. Stayci

    Stayci Member

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    Hi everyone !

    Came across this site by sheer chance really and thought it seemed like a really good idea to join, as i have tried diets after diets since i had my daughter five years ago, and have always given up, with the understanding that i do so because i have no support and people on here seem so understanding as they are going through the same thing im not ashamed to be here. :) xx
     
  8. st.angelo

    st.angelo Full Member

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    Hi BigBlue, it's good to open up and share your worries. You'd be surprised at how many people will read your post and identify with a lot of issues you have.

    I decided on Lighterlife Lite and have just started today. There are a lot of things to consider when starting any diet plan. The cost may be relevant for a start. The location of any group you join.

    From how you come across in your post I would say that you would enjoy the support of others in a group and you would be a valuable member by your friendliness to others.

    The ones I have heard of are slimming world, rosemary conley, weight watchers and lighterlife.

    Sometimes the first step is the hardest, but you will get there if you stay positive x
     
  9. Faustina

    Faustina wants a dancer's body.

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    I'd throw out the ready meals first off, you'll not change your life with them in terms of nourishment. :eek: I cook a lot of good stuff, I buy cookbooks and cook from them. I love food so much, eat berries with yoghurt, seeds, nuts and spelt in the morning plus a boiled egg. Lunch and dinner is fish/chicken/lean meat with veg/salad & pasta/rice/potatoes/couscous either at lunch or dinner. I buy M&S choc coins and eat a couple with a nice cup of day at least twice a day. I use olive oil/flaxseed oil for cold foods and rapeseed for hot ones. Take a good multivitamin as well.

    Definitely learn how to cook healthy food (Mary Berry, Rose Elliot, Mediterranean cookbooks, diabetic cookbooks, Dr. Schwarzbein, Bernadette Bohan, Jason Vale, Michael Van Straten). Learn what foods hit which part of your body and eat them. Go for a walk each day for at least 45 minutes. You can do it! :D
     
  10. KarenB

    KarenB Full Member

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    Hi BigBlue :wavey: I really feel for you after reading your intro and hope you can find the diet that suits. I started slimming world a few weeks ago as there are always free foods you can eat when you just cant fill yourself up. Good luck with whatever you decide.
     
  11. Faustina

    Faustina wants a dancer's body.

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    Just eating good food and watching the calories.

    That is bang on right! :D I remember feeling devastated at this weight a few years ago and yet now I think I'm hot stuff. The journey down can be slow but it gaves us time to savour it too and learn how to love ourselves, nourish ourselves with great food that's healing and tasty. We deserve to eat well and live long healthy lives.

    But we're still lovely now ladies and it's not the scales that matters, it's really not, what matters is that every day we feed ourselves food that makes us stronger and healthier, let the body do with that what it will. ;)
     
  12. bunny_hops

    bunny_hops Violet is shrinking

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    Exante TS was using Xenical and eating low fat and low cal. Exante baby!!!
    How are doing blue? i think you should take things one step at a time,dont be rushed and over loaded more too many things,it wont help..and as for the exercise,i think i said in my previous post that i have joint problems,especially my knees (its being investigated now,some form of arthritis)

    well exercise is a real pain for me,if i were to do too much at once i probably wouldnt lift a finger for a week..ive found that..if i walk slighty faster than i did before,or go for 2 or 3 15 minute walks a day... its so much better than flogging yourself silly...

    whack on some music,shut your curtains and have a boogie :D
     
  13. st.angelo

    st.angelo Full Member

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    Hi Bigblue, Tesco diets have an offer on at the moment with four weeks free.

    "If you are looking to lose some weight or to improve your health this Autumn - then Tesco Diets has the diet plan for you! We take the hard work out of healthy eating by providing tailored diet plans, a personalised shopping list, as well support from registered nutritionists and access 24/7."

    I thought that it may be of interest to you whilst your thinking what plan/diet/regime to go for. x
     
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