Not sure where to post this...

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by laura269, 8 January 2011 Social URL.

  1. laura269

    laura269 Full Member

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    But this seems as good a place as any.

    I need help/advice. I'm not sure what to do or where to go.

    I have been overweight all my life and get bigger each year. I have huge issues with food having seen my Mum suffer from anorexia most of my childhood. I've gone the opposite way to her and I just eat.

    I eat when I'm happy/sad/depressed/angry/elated etc etc you get the picture. I eat in secret so people don't know how much I eat although its obvious due to how big I am getting.

    I have had various success through my life on diets including SW, WW, Xenical (my last attempt) but I always lapse and can never get back to it. I put on all the weight I loose and then some more.

    I have 2 beautiful children who I do not want to pass on my probl;ems to but i know at some point they will realise I'm a fat heffer...

    I haven't weighed myself since around May last year (since I last had docs for a xenical WI) and I know I am prob back to where I was if not heavier.

    I am in this vicious circle I can't break. i need help but have no idea what to do. I don't want to go to the docs as they just weigh me and right now I so do not want to know. Please help I need to stop this once and for all :(
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  3. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    Have no answers Laura but no you're not alone with this. I have a problem too, and though I lost 4 st on CD and kept it off for 18 months things fell apart again and I found myself binge-eating and have put almost 3 st back. I am back on minis for the support, to be accountable, and because I have learned I cannot do this by myself. I am looking in this section because I want answers to why this happens and how I can find ways to stop it, because I know now that losing the weight is not enough... I need to work out why I do this and how I can take control again.

    I hope someone comes along with more wisdom than I have Laura, but wanted to send a hug and share some thoughts... there are things you could consider. Overeaters Anonymous, CBT, NLP, EFT, BEAT (eating disorders helpline)... or seeing your doctor again, and viewing that as a way of taking control. A support group might help you to feel less alone and less likely to beat yourself up... from some of the things you have said, I'm guessing your self-esteem is down around rock bottom.

    This is your life chick and you only get one shot at it - this is something you WANT to do, for yourself and for those lovely children. Making the first few steps will help you to feel stronger, i promise.

    Big hugs.

  4. fortune_cookie

    fortune_cookie Night Hawk

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    As someone who reacts just the same to problems (hide them, ignore them, hide yourself anything but face it) I would suggest to go to weigh yourself now. That is as much as I learned in life, that when my reaction is to run and hide than I should stay, if I don't want to know how bad something is, than I force myself to stay and face the truth. I know I will thank myself later and so will you. I have this pattern of behavior from my mum, and I saw how bad it can get if you don't control it, so, please, first step is to know, to be in control, to not hide.

    Be strong!
  5. -Tally-

    -Tally- Silver Member

    I'm exactly the same (apart from the anorexic parent) and it's so hard isn't it! I've put on 10 stone in the last 5 years through non stop evening binging. I'm once again doing Slimming World as I find it works perfectly for me as long as I stick to the plan.

    This time I'm doing Slimming World whilst using this forum as a support system and it's helping me lots.

    I got to the stage where my weight was effecting my asthma and was referred to the hospital via my GP for my breathing. Luckily the consultant I saw referred me to the weight management unit at my local hospital and they're referring me to a psychologist and physiotherapist, which coupled with Minimins and Slimming World, I hope will help me finally beat my food addiction/habit.

    Being proactive this time I've taken pictures of myself, full length front and side so I could see what I actually look like and hopefully compare them once I've lost some weight. I've also bought some lovely clothes in sizes way too small for me as an incentive. Signs for my cupboard and fridge doors are another way to remind myself not to give up.

    I'm optimistic this time that I will lose a good proportion of the weight I've gained. I've also accepted that I will never be thin and I don't really care anymore, for me, being a size 32 for the last 4 years or so, I'd be delighted with being a size 16-18 and that is my long term goal.

    Is surgery an option for you or something you would consider? I've considered it but I feel it's such a drastic measure that I would rather put my all into losing it naturally and maybe keep that tucked away to one side as a verrrry last resort.

    What are your danger foods? What makes you stop the "diet" or treatment? Have you asked your doc for some counselling?
  6. Emmaline

    Emmaline Hippety Hop!

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    calorie counting and low carbs
    Hi Laura, Seems to me you have been getting along just fab.
    Thought at first you had made a mistake with your joining date but see that you are another returnee.

    Well done with your weight loss and hope you are feeling much more positive now.

    Onwards and downwards!!..:)
  7. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

    Hi Laura
    Have you considered Lighter Life?
    I wouldn't tell anyone they should do it. Different things work for different people, but it has certainly changed my life forever.
    It involves the psychology side (CBT & TA) and is much less drastic than surgery.
    Good luck whatever you decide.
  8. pesty

    pesty Fighting the bulge

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    Hi Laura,

    I cant help but relate to your post, everything is so true from my perspective of me (including the anorexic parent).

    The only difference being i dont have children but my 11 year old brother is now in a possition where he is hugely influenced by the need to 'not be fat' although he is very lean i can see that my and my mums cycles are affecting him psycolgically.

    The trouble is you cant do this for your children, you have to want it and do it for you.

    There is lots of support on here and many different diets and plans to choose from, but it will always be your own determination to change that will stop the cycles forever.

    If your not sure about which plan you are best suited for then why not have a look around the forums and ask for a few people how it works, expected losses, effort and how it can fit into your everyday life.

    For whatever you choose, good luck xx
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