Noticing a change

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Ninja, 2 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. Ninja

    Ninja Silver Member

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    After having lost almost 2 stone since September I can honestly see a change in peoples attitudes towards me. Not so much the women, they tell me how great I'm looking and how well I'm doing. But the men's attitudes have altered, there's a lot more flirtatious comments and I guess you could call it appreciative comments...things like asking me what I've done different cos I look good....lol.
    It's doing a lot for my self esteem and confidence and it's giving me an additional boost to want to lose more.
    I think it may even be giving my OH something to ponder....if you know what I mean :D
     
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  3. Fuffs

    Fuffs This is really the time!

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    Good on ya chick!! That is a real boost for you...Your hubby will lock you away soon lol
     
  4. lauryloo

    lauryloo Full Member

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    Well done you :)
     
  5. Ninja

    Ninja Silver Member

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    Is anyone else noticing anything similar happening to them?

    Part of me feels resentful to the flirty men, I'm still the same person that I was before, I see them as a little bit shallow now. But on the other hand I also feel a hypocrite cos I've probably done the same :(
     
  6. Rachella

    Rachella Silver Member

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    Ninja- I have experienced the same as well! And yeah it can be good and bad! Sometimes it's flattering depending on who is saying it!

    This may sound odd but as we loose weight we naturally become a bit more confident and I think this shows when we're out by the way we 'hold' ourselves and the way we interact with others so this is another reason that you may get more attention - weight loss to me isnt just physical, it's psychological as well!

    Like last Saturday I was out with friends in town and I just felt so much happier, I actually danced lots more than usual and I wore heels (which I never did before) and this all proved that I have become more confident. And confident people attract more attention...
     
  7. Ninja

    Ninja Silver Member

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    You're right of course.
    I'm also making more of an effort with my appearance...hair, make up and I can wear heels now without wanting to amputate my feet at the end of the day...lol.
    I think it's naive of me to resent that some men seem to find me attractive now whereas before they hardly gave me the time of day.
    I've found that I feel more confident with my OH as before I was always worried that I was just a stop gap before he found someone slim and pretty. But now I realise the problem was all mine and he loves me for who I am underneath, yes he's happy that I've lost weight as he isn't a very big man himself, but it wasn't the be all and end all for him. But, on the other hand I now feel like me and my OH are on more equal footing, I think he's aware that other men find me attractive too now and I don't think this dawned on him before. that paints my OH in a bad light but that isn't what I mean to do and he isn't shallow, we've been together for 4 yrs and got engaged last November when I was still quite big. I think if he didn't propose to me till I'd lost weight I might be a little more hesitant, so I'm glad he asked me when I was still big, cos I know he wants to marry me...not my slim self...does that make sense?
     
  8. princessria

    princessria is a pirate arrrgggghhhh

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    makes total sense i have noticed the change too and it's made me very resentful gets right on my nerves oh so you can flirt with me now but not before grrrrrrr
     
  9. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

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    lol I've a long way to go until anything like that happens and being over the hill age wise I can't see it being something I'll have to worry about :)
     
  10. Oh-Amy

    Oh-Amy Full Member

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    Don't say that Sue! You never know, you may have all the young men chasing after you! :p

    Hm, it's definitely strange when you men start to pay you more attention, it feels as if you were almost invisible before? I like it though, lol. ;):D
     
  11. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    Last time round when i lost a lot of weight i noticed peoples attitude towards me different. I worked in an office and all the men were saying how good i looked and well done and keep up the good work. They always spoke to me anyway but they were just happy for me. However women were a different story, they started off saying 'oh well done etc then after i had lost like a stone (with still a good few to go) they would say oh don't lose anymore it won't suit you, or i like the way you are etc. Then there are a couple of girls that i worked with (also went to school with), one didn't talk to me at all when i was big but all of a sudden when i lost weight she would come over and talk to me, now i'm big again she doesn't talk to me.

    I think it is really strange how people behave round people who are losing weight. However i have my close good friends and a great family who love me no matter what shape or size and have remained the same throughout my journey.

    Lol sorry for the book!!! xxx
     
  12. Vodkamonster

    Vodkamonster Full Member

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    I agree with a lot of what has been said here, but I also think that when you have more confidence you allow guys to flirt with you, and you flirt back. Or even when you gain confidence you start to notice it more. As Rachella said, it's psychological. But it doesn't half give you a boost! :D
     
  13. Rachella

    Rachella Silver Member

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    I had a similar experience with a colleague in my old job when I did SW the first time round a couple of years ago... this particular colleague had been big herself but lost weight (before I knew her) and when I told her that I'd lost 3 pounds over my first couple of weeks her response wasn't 'ohhh well done you' but 'don't go over the top'! I would understand her comment if I'd dropped 3 stone on 2 weeks but not 3 pounds! Needless to say I'm not in touch with her anymore...
     
  14. princessria

    princessria is a pirate arrrgggghhhh

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    I have always been quite confident i think it's more the pretty posy men that get on my nerves about it guys that just wouldn even go there if your a little bit bigger than average then all of a sudden your acceptable tyo talk to them in there tight t shirts and fake tans i ignore all of them i have no place for them in my life fat or not fat
     
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