O/T: Am I overreacting??

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by sbridge7, 8 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. sbridge7

    sbridge7 Silver Member

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    Hey guys,
    I have two friends, A and B. A and I have been friends for 5 years or so and whilst A and B were previously friends, I've only been friends with B for a year or so. We usually go out together but I noticed A and B would always have private conversations together even when I was there and I would not be included. I've spoken to A and B about this and they have said that I had got the wrong end of the stick?! I think that is unfair as people have mentioned in front of me A and B are like best friends, when previous A and I were really good friends.

    Anyway, they asked me out to dinner a few weeks ago but I refused because I was on CD. I simply told them I wanted to lose some weight/save some money over summer. Well last night I was speaking to a mutual friend of ours last night and she asked me if I had joined them for dinner that evening. It turns out B had organised to go out for dinner and did not bother to invite me. I know I said I didn't want to go out to eat, but would it have hurt to ask? Therefore I messaged them both on Facebook and they threw my initial excuse back in my face, saying there is no point in even asking if I'm likely to say no. I think that is unfair, considering we're all meant to be good friends? I'm not sure if I should be slightly peeved off, though I feel I have every reason to.
     
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  3. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    Its nice to be asked out of courtesy even if people know you might probably say no

    In my opinion
     
  4. flowey

    flowey Silver Member

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    Hmmm, that's a hard one. Maybe they didn't mean to insult you and your excuse from the 1st dinner was used because they felt bad.
    Don't take it to heart. It meant you didn't break your diet and now if you want to go out with just A or just B rather than the 3 all the time you can, and in theory not offend.
    Don't loose mates over one dinner, I know its upsetting at the time.
     
  5. charley24

    charley24 Silver Member

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    Mmmmm, well I was honest with my friends at the start and haven't been asked to occasions, which I am fine with, I explained at the start that I wouldn't be able to do dinner or drinks for fear of flling off the wagon. Perhaps they thought they didn't want to tempt you ?

    The issue that they seem to whisper is another issue of course, this would make me feel uncomfortable.

    If they are good enough friends you could speak to them when you are all together and explain that you feel a little left out ?
     
  6. sbridge7

    sbridge7 Silver Member

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    Hey thanks guys.
    I've spoken to them on several occasions and they keep doing the same thing. I'm really getting annoyed with them, as they always do the same thing. We'll all be walking down the street and then they'll launch into a private conversation. Another event happened in which we all went to a club along with a few friends and had booked a taxi back for 3am. Whilst I was with other friends, they went and call the taxi to come 30-40 minutes earlier, without telling me. When the taxi came, they told me it was time to leave and I didn't even have time to say goodbye. It's small things, which are gradually amounting.
     
  7. devilishandsweet

    devilishandsweet 100% all the way!

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    Hmmmmm hard one. Only you know them best, but I would of thought it would be common courtesy to ask you even if they knew you would say no?!

    The only thing I can suggest is speaking to A individually and tell them how you feel if that doesn't work, is there someone else you can start being more friendly with?
     
  8. Laura Croft

    Laura Croft Happily maintaining

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    You deserve better. I lost two friends who were nice to me while I was overweight but as soon as I'd lost weight, one of them just couldn't handle it. Sadly those two were quite close so I lost both of them.

    Is A being influenced by B? If so, then why not just ask A out for a coffee to try and strengthen your friendship again.
     
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