Old Habits Still Strong :-(

[Goreygirl]

I can't believe how easily it happened.. how fecking easily I allowed it to happen!! It's like I have a self-sabotage button.

Friday I went for my first weigh in; left with a smile and then wandered around town. Bought a shaker beaker type thing in preparation for when I have to travel for work late next week, wandered the wrong way round to the local hotel and got all the information about joining the gym etc. It as a sunny afternoon and I was feeling relatively good but craving chocolate a bit as I had just come on but was telling myself "that's just habit; you don't want choc really". Got home and fell asleep on the sofa with a hot water bottle and woke up like a different person :cry: Before i knew it i had rang the local chipper and had chicken and chips and icecream delivered and then starts a major 24 hour binge :cry::cry: it's like I did everything to make myself fail; I purposely avoided logging on her becauses it's almost like if i did i was calling attention to what I was doing and while i didn't I could ignore that i was binging if that makes sense?? Bizarrely I got it together today and spent the whole day with family watching them eat dinner, desserts etc and I was quite happy with my shakes. It's like jeckyl and hyde. I know all the steps that triggered each subsequent step of my binge but it's like i didn't care! Do I really not like myself that much? Or am I scared? That's the only thing i can think of.. that a part of me doesn't want me to succeed with this .. which is crazy cos logically I know i'm miserable the way I am.. feel like i'm imposing all these limits on my life cos of my weight and the moment and I don't want to live like this anymore...:break_diet:

 

[mrs bee]

Oh hun, please try not to beat yourself up about this, you did so well getting back on track today and for that you should be very proud.
Sometimes this diet is the toughest thing in the world, other days its so easy I wonder why I didn't do it years ago!

Use what has happened as a learning curve, i have learnt alot about how i have used food and am still learning, it's amazing the power it has on you!

Keep going as you did today, put it behind you and look forward to a new you
xx

 

[Goreygirl]

Thanks Mrs Bee..

i'm trying to keep saying.. today is a fresh day.. just focus on the next few hours etc and as you say seeing what happened as a positive learning experience.

 

[mrs bee]

positive thinking, go for it!!

 

[summergurl]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! :whoopass:
Well - you have probably set yourself back to nearly square one. You will be out of ketosis and will probably feel crappy until you are in it again.

Binging is what i used to do chick. I could get up at 8am and have nothing untill 3/4pm then as soon as 1 bit of food touched my lips i would binge binge binge.

What you have done you know is wrong, you know you shouldnt have but dont beat yourself up and fall down a spiral as that is not where you need to be right now.

Pick yourself up, give yourself a good stern talking to and get back on this LT train!!!

You CAN do this

 

[Goreygirl]

Thanks Summergirl and MrsBee

I'm up, dressed house is cleaned and as soon as it stops raining i'm out for a walk and cleaning my car (spilt a shake in there the other day and it's beginning to smell like old socks!).

If it doesn't stop raining I feel a laundry day coming on to keep me busy.

 

[jojoknott]

Hi gorey girl, I think there was something in the water on friday because I did exactly the same.

I was fine all day and then at about 9.00pm I went through our kitchen like a locust.

Once I started I coundn't stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Binge, Binge, Binge.
I felt so bad and the scales have made me worse the last couple of days too as they seem to have been rising not falling.

I'm gutted with myself but jumped straight back on the wagon the next day and havn't faultered since.

I've got weigh in tomorrow and know I won't have lost much if any now and thats a shame because for 1hr out of 7 days I just coudn't contain myself and have ruined a weeks worth of hard work.

Believe me I wont be doing it again......It just so isn't worth it.

here's to us getting over our slip and being the figure we always wanted to be x x x x x x x

 

[Goreygirl]

Hear hear

I figure that was out steep learning curve and it's onwards and downwards now

 

[Cruiksl]

Another binger here.

I would eat from the moment I woke up till I went to bed. That's the reason and lack of exercise that I piled on the weight.

Dust yourself down, start again and we're here to support you.

 

[ChellyWellyBoot]

Good luck chick!

It is very hard to break old habits!

If you feel this coming on again just jump online to see if we can distract you for a while first

 

[Goreygirl]

Thanks Chelly; will do

 

[kered]

Well done for getting right back on it, its good that you came on here and owned up to what you had done, but if that urge ever gets to you again, log on here FIRST before you eat, you know we will give you a good butt kicking and hopefully that will be enough for you to keep away from the binges hun.

Good luck, come on, you can do it.

 

[curleytop]

You are back on tracks and that is the main thing. You can't change the past so just let it go and concentrate on the present. You will be fine. x

 

[yumyum]

I've been in the same boat hun, i'm now due to weigh in tomorrow for the 5th time but saturday i ate half a pizza and i entire chocolate egg...why i dont know like you say its a self destruct button!!!, wish i had come on here before i ate as i know it would of stopped me!!, your not alone trust me...
but its done, just got to think day 1....
xx