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OT: Calling all agony aunts...

Predator

Silver Member
S: 241.8lb C: 212.1lb G: 175lb BMI: 28.8 Loss: 29.7lb(12.28%)
#1
So erm, well I know this forum is full of nice people, and I see a few offtopic posts here and there, so I thought I'd post this and get this off my chest as these sort of things do my head in...

My girlfriend has started a new job, and some guy has been 'winking' at her and what not, and it just really pee's me off to think about this, I mean like, TOTAL jealousy kicks in, she told him where to go etc. but I hate the thought of some other guy doing that haha... Some other guy watching her and looking at her in that manner :( I'm not usually jealous, but when I am it affects me stupidly bad :p

Do your husbands/boyfriends get the same way, or am I just like OCD'ing with the thought of guys looking at my other half, it's not a nice way to feel, and I don't think you ladies like jealousy in guys, so I try and do my best to hide it lol :) but anyway I could rant on and on... I guess I just had to get it out and admit my 'flaw', I feel humiliated and I haven't even posted this yet, but anyway thanks for reading :)
 
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JanD

maintaining since June'09
S: 15st9.5lb C: 10st13.6lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 24.8 Loss: 4st9.9lb(30.02%)
#2
No need to feel humiliated - it's great that you can 'talk' about it.

Us females can be contrary things you know! ;) - While a totally OTT jealous b/f is most definitely a pain in the butt - a LITTLE show every now and then makes (some of) us feel a bit special.

What real jealousy indicates is your own insecurity - if you were completely secure in yourself you would feel flattered that your girlfriend attracts attention (therefore is attractive and desirable) yet rejects it and chooses you.

It's something you need to conquer if you can (easier said than done I know) because it's not attractive and in the long-run will only harm your relationship. The sort that can make us feel a bit special (as I mention above) would be a very mild .... "Hey you - I know what's going on - just you behave yourself ... ha ha ha"

It's perhaps your own confidence that needs some work?? Hope you feel better soon. x
 

kered

Gold Member
#3
From a ladies point of view, I can say I dont like jealousy, but a little jealousy is okay. For example, a few weeks ago my mobile rang, I was upstairs and I heard it ringing, my OH went to answer it, but didnt get there in time, as we met at the bottom of the stairs he said "your phone was ringing, but they hung up when I answered it". I knew that wouldn't have been the case, so I looked at the missed call and it was my Son. I called him back and asked him why he had not spoken to his Father? He said because the answer machine came on. My OH laughed at this then, but I am sure he was convinced something funny was going on. I am finding these little jealousy spates are coming from when he has noticed my weight loss.

Anyway, back to your question. Should you be jealous? You need to find out why you are jealous in the first place. You can look at it in 2 ways, be pleased that someone is finding your girlfriend attractive, or go mad and be jealous. Could it be that its a conscious thought on your mind because you are maybe not full of confidence because you are overweight, hence the reason why you are here with us doing lipotrim? Not having a go at you or anything, so please dont take it the wrong way. But in my honest opinion, I think you are lacking in a little bit of confidence, but I am sure the longer you go on with lipotrim and the more weight you lose, your confidence will return, and you could possibly look on this in a different way. Hopefully you can be pleased that you are with such a beauty that other men can look at her and admire her, but you have the pleasure of being with her.
 

kered

Gold Member
#4
Hey Aaron, you got the 2 best agony Aunts here tonight lol, and we keep posting things at the same time.

Exactly my feelings too Jan.....lol.
Big hugs to you Aaron.
 

JanD

maintaining since June'09
S: 15st9.5lb C: 10st13.6lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 24.8 Loss: 4st9.9lb(30.02%)
#5
LOL!!! Well we've got 102 years between us so hopefully a LITTLE bit of wisdom eh??? LOL!! xx
 

kered

Gold Member
#6
101 years and 8 months, I am not 50 until August, so I am enjoying being a slim 49 year old for a few more months.....:8855::8855:
 

JanD

maintaining since June'09
S: 15st9.5lb C: 10st13.6lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 24.8 Loss: 4st9.9lb(30.02%)
#7
103 & 6 months then ...... I'm 54 in June!!!! :( xx
 
S: 19st4lb C: 13st13lb G: 14st0lb BMI: 24.4 Loss: 5st5lb(27.78%)
#8
If in doubt knock him out lol

nah seriously i know how you feel i had a similar issue in past and i had a polite word with him outside of her work, wont mention what i said lol but it worked put it that way
 

Cruiksl

Silver Member
S: 14st12lb C: 12st4lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 31.5 Loss: 2st8lb(17.31%)
#9
Have to agree with Jan and Kered.

Try to think of it as flattering that someone else thinks you're girlfriend is hot. The main thing is she's with you !
 

YumyMumy

Crawling to the finish!
S: 12st12lb C: 12st6lb G: 9st7lb Loss: 0st6lb(3.33%)
#10
hey hun, your complely human! But you should be feeling nice and confident about yourself youve achieved a great thing with the weight youve lost! Dont cling onto yourgirl too tightly, if she likes you for you, you dont need to compete with other men, and if you do then shes not for you :) Appreciate the fact that you pulled a girl who others might quite fancy, and let them wish they got there first hehe!

I am so so bad for jealousy....even tho ive got a daughter and getting marrie din less than 3 months haha Well I was when I was overweight, but now I tell my OH go where he wants and couldnt care less if he text me or not, just cause Im secure in myself like the others said! :) My OH is also a jealous person, but only little ammount of the time, it keeps me sweet I like it on the quite! haha!

Im sure youll be fine :) If in doubt just knock him out haha OJ xx
 
S: 14st5lb C: 10st11lb G: 11st5lb BMI: 27.6 Loss: 3st8lb(24.88%)
#11
Well, there was a woman at my OH's workplace who was really giving him the come-on. He said he ignored it, but she doesn't take the hint,
what should he do? I said, then keep talking about what a fabulous, gorgeous partner you have, just bore her to death with how happy we are (and we really ARE folks!) and she'll give up and probably join a nunnery!! Well it worked!!! If your girlfriend is serious about stopping this guy in his tracks, and not just telling you to wind you up, then she needs to gush on about how much she loves and adores you and can't imagine being with anyone else.

I'm very confident in our relationship and can see why some women make a bee-line for Steve....after all, I met him at work and beat the others off with a stick...Ha! Ha!!!

But on a serious note, jealousy can KILL a relationship and that, my friend is really down to your insecurity. Know that you are a worthy man and that your girlfriend is amazingly lucky that you have chosen her. Good luck, hun. (54 years of experience under this (shrinking) belt)
 

Lou

Silver Member
S: 15st1lb C: 14st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 35 Loss: 0st7lb(3.32%)
#12
Awww Aaron. You need to turn this on his head and rather than keep thinking he's looking at your girl, think of it more of him being a total loser trying to flirt with someone else's girlfriend, who quite frankly he's got no chance with.
 

ChellyWellyBoot

I will be skinny again!!!
S: 14st10.5lb C: 11st12.5lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 23.9 Loss: 2st12lb(19.37%)
#13
yep whats been said is completley true!!

Just know that you trust her and then there is nothing to worry about.

She would be worried if you didnt get jealous about it to be honest!
 

Predator

Silver Member
S: 241.8lb C: 212.1lb G: 175lb BMI: 28.8 Loss: 29.7lb(12.28%)
#14
Thanks for all the replies, they are super and a few made me laugh :p but yeah thanks alot for the replies it really helps my self esteem if nothing else :) hopefully it's only a temporary thing anyway and should go away xxx
 

Goreygirl

Gold Member
S: 20st0lb C: 16st7lb G: 12st12lb BMI: 36.2 Loss: 3st7lb(17.5%)
#15
Hey Adam

Does your OH know you had a quiet word?

Must admit if my OH had a word with some bloke "on my behalf" i'd be bloody furious particularly if it could potentially impact on my work! I'm a grown up and can fight my own battles and would consider myself more than capable of deflecting interest from someone else. I'd also be insulted that he thought my feelings for him would be so flimsy that our relationship would be threatened by someone else flirting with me. The issue should be about whether I was flirting back and if so what does that mean for our relationship.
 


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