Otherhalf is being very unsupportive

[Iamreadyforthis]

Hi, I do not know what to do. My other half (whilst very complimentary about my weight loss) has said about 5 times now, come off that silly diet and eat something! He said that it is interupting everything. We normally go out to eat etc a couple of times a week. He said that my friends think I am being anti-social not wanting to go out and eat. I dont think this is the case as they understand that I am trying very hard to lose weight. Also he says that it is making me ill ( I have had a cold for a week and I'm struggling to fight it off). I have told him not to talk nonsense and he shuts up, but it infuriates me that he is so unsupportive, as if its not hard enough. I have even offered to go to the resaurants but just not eat (I really dont think this will bother me at all) and he said that is even worse.

Is anyone elses partner like this, how are you dealing with it x:break_diet:

 

[-FJ-]

I find that a lot of people that you normally socialise with tend to be like that....it's pretty disheartening, for me anyway, how big a role food and alcohol play in day to day life

The idea of being a fatty fat fat in the summer sitting in a beer garden with my skinny other half is keeping me going. No amount of healthy eating will get me where I want to be that quick!

 

[bessie84]

yep - know how that feels. its awful isnt it. the first time i ever did lipotrim, that was the main reason i packed it in. i dont know what to suggest to be honest. its very off putting indeed xx

 

[Angellove]

Ok I'll play devils advocate - look at it from his point of view. Ok so his social life is going to suffer for a few months but reassure him you can still go out for drinks (sipping water not so obvious as not eating) and that it'd only a temporary glitch and things will be back to normal soon enough.

It's common that when your other half changes their ways drastically - like being determined to lose a lot of weight - you feel a little insecure. Maybe he's secretly worried your relationship will change or that you'll become even more gorgeous and find someone else. It's silly but these feelings aren't rare. Reassure him that he's part of your reason (even if he isn't!) and that you want to feel sexier and more attractive for his benefit too!!

Also if you've been together a whole and self esteem was an issue for you before deciding to start lipotrim then perhaps he is scared at the way you've now empowered yourself. People don't really like change and sadly they don't like to see people do well and succeed. It doesn't matter that he loves you it's just human nature.

Explain that you don't think your friends have issues and if they do then it's only short term and show him you won't give in. If he sees a little crack in your willpower he may chip away at it until you have none left and you have to keep going because you're doing so well.

Perhaps you could suggest if he continues to support you once you've reached your goal you'll help him fulfil a dream he has.

I think sometimes we forget this diet does have effects on those around us and we automatically think if they love us they'll understand but that's not always the case. Humans can be very thoughtless and selfish but I think if you remain strong and think of alternative social outings he'll soon see he may as well shut up.

Whatever you do though don't give on because you may resent him for it xxx at least you have all the support you need here xxx

 

[Angellove]

Other ideas to going out for meals with friends include you going bowling - it's exercise and not so obvious you are not eating if they grab a burger etc whilst you play. The cinema - you can sneak in a shake and have water. And you could always cook a meal at yours - you can make yourself busy playing hostess they don't realise so much you are only nibbling on a flapjack!!!

 

[bigjeeze]

I have not stopped going out socially at all - I just don't eat or drink alcohol. My oh is very supportive and so are my friends. If you want this then tell him that should be enough for him!! How selfish is he being? Tell him you have a medical probelm this will solve - high blood pressure or similar.

 

[Iamreadyforthis]

Thanks all, I think I will talk to him about it tonight x

 

[Angellove]

Hope it went well xxxx

 

[approaching 40]

Hope things are a bit brighter this morning xxx

 

[MimiD1968]

I agree with Angellove. This is a transition period for everyone, and he probably just needs you to tell him how important this is for you and how the results will hopefully give you a much more fulfilled life together. Good luck with your chat!

 

[Naya19]

I hope that all went well with your chat

Xxx