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Overweight = Not worthy

Baby_Cakes

Dave's little girl
S: 15st8lb C: 13st8lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.7 Loss: 2st0lb(12.84%)
#1
I feel so unworthy of so much right now. Unworthy of a loving husband, unworthy of the health I have (apart from being overweight), unworthy of the life I could be enjoying, the holidays I am going to be taking.

I feel that because I am overweight I shouldnt be doing or having any of this.

I wear the ugliest, baggiest, lamest clothes - the only ones remaining in my wardrobe that will fit. My husband always says I look 'hot' and that I am 'gorgeous' and always wants to touh me and be intimate with me but I just feel hideous and fat and the less intimate time I can get the better. I couldnt bear my husband looking at me with disgust.

** Rant Over **

 
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S: 362lb C: 292.8lb G: 170lb BMI: 47.3 Loss: 69.2lb(19.12%)
#2
Until you change your mental attitude to loving yourself then any weight loss plan is doomed to failure.

Realise that you are the most important person in your world and give your body the healthy foods it needs to regenerate itself into the body you want.

Losing the weight will not instantly solve your problems or the way you feel about yourself. You have to accept that you are a wonderful human being and everything else will begin to fall into place.
 

CurvyKaren

Silver Member
S: 0st0lb C: 0st0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 0 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#3
Until you change your mental attitude to loving yourself then any weight loss plan is doomed to failure.

Realise that you are the most important person in your world and give your body the healthy foods it needs to regenerate itself into the body you want.

Losing the weight will not instantly solve your problems or the way you feel about yourself. You have to accept that you are a wonderful human being and everything else will begin to fall into place.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Once a few lbs fall away i'm sure you'll get back to loving who you are :)

Big hugs

x
 

KateR

Gold Member
S: 19st12lb C: 19st12lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 42.3 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#4
Awww Hun I know how you feel!

You are not unworthy of what you have at all!! Extra weight does not change the person you are and your husband sees you for all that you are, not just the "padding" that you see.

You need to do something for you. Yes weight loss will help you to feel wonderful, but you should treat yourself to something new, something that makes you feel good about yourself. For me, its underwear or shoes although as i shrink i'm hoping it will become little dresses hehe!

Embrace all that's wonderful about you and don't push away those that love you and try your hardest not to let the little negative things take over. You sound like you have lots of good in your life and according to your stats you aren't huge. Take the diet one day at a time, and remember that you are wonderful and you deserve the love and attention that you receive!

I hope you start to feel happier soon

x
 
S: 13st8lb C: 9st8lb G: 6st12lb BMI: 24.5 Loss: 4st0lb(29.47%)
#5
Losing weight is all well and good but you need to work on your self-esteem too:) Your husband is seeing you as you really are but you are being too self-critical. It's a common thing with women but learn to take your husband's comments at face value..if he says you're gorgeous, then yes he really does think you are! :) Men are pretty blunt creatures, I find! If they don't like something, they will say so lol.

I had this issue myself and I found a book called "Overcoming Low Self Esteem" by Melanie Fennell very good x
 
#6
I agree with others here, you need to be kinder to yourself. Every single person on this site has issues with weight and food and self-image. You are not alone and nor are you by any means heavily overweight! Compared to some (I was 10st overweight when I started) you are comparatively slim.

However the point here is that YOU feel awful about yourself. And feeling this awful is preventing you from actually dealing with your problems, including the weight.

Have a word with your doc in case you are suffering from general depression. He can almost certainly help with that. Maybe ask to be referred to a Counsellor or even a Nurse/Dietician at the health centre. Not for a diet sheet! Rather, for an understanding and sympathetic ear so you can share how you truly feel.

You feel so down right now that you can't imagine ever feeling better. I was like that too but I got help. No need to go on suffering. And your husband DOES find you hot and desirable; he loves you and probably feels helpless because you don't believe him and he doesn't know how to make you feel better about yourself. Men do like curves, trust me on that one; every clinical study undertaken with male volunteers with various female body types (no faces or hair) shows that they consistently select a body we women would consider fat (ha ha) over the skinny, straight-up-and-down figure we think is 'perfect'.

Men are programmed by nature to like curves! I sometimes think that the billionaires who choose the supermodel types do so because they are regarded as trophies in this publicity-obsessed world. How many times have you read about a famous man, who has been caught cheating with a maid or nanny, and noticed that she is considerably plumper than the poor wife? It happens time and again. Back at home that wife is steadily starving herself into oblivion because the fashion mags say she should.

Please mention your unhappiness and low self-worth to your doctor. You can't go on like this. You just don't need to.

All the very best, and please keep posting x
 
S: 20st9lb C: 16st1lb G: 12st12lb BMI: 37.4 Loss: 4st8lb(22.15%)
#7
i know how you feel.....i used to be the same...

but i decided to take control and change it all!

as the weight started to come off, i started to feel better about myself and i started getting back to the old me...having my hair done, getting my nails done....buying new make up.....

you would be surprised what a difference it makes....

i hope you find the same! xxx
 


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