Pigeonia - Weight Loss Diary of a Compulsive Eater

P

Pigeonia

Member
Hello all! I'm 28 years old and married with a three year old son and I need to lose 3 and a half stone. My starting weight was 14 stone. I have managed to lose a few pounds but I ate too much over the weekend so have put some back on now :(.

I want to get down to 10stone 7lbs stone because that will put me in the healthy range for my height of 5'7" and I think it's a realistic weight for me. I'm not built to be skinny but I'm also not designed to be overweight either.

My problem is basically that I eat from emotion and not hunger. I am very affected by my hormones and find that my mood is controlled by my menstrual cycle. I have one week of being on a high when I can achieve anything (the week just after my period and around ovulation) but the other three weeks are filed with depression and overeating.

I am now on St John's Wort to help control the depression and I am hoping that with the support of you lovely people here I will be able to lose the weight! :gen126:

I am actually doing a sponsored weight loss (only family and friends sponsoring so don't worry, I'm not fishing for money ;)) This will raise £100 for the NSPCC. The end date is 20th Feb 2009 because that is my 29th birthday and I would like to be slim and healthy again by then.

Well, my first week I lost 5lb but have put some back on now as I said. That being the case, I want to lose 4lb this week to give me a total of 6lb weight loss for the first fortnight.

So, let the games begin! :p
 
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Welcome to minimins Pigeonia.

I can so relate to your problem of managing a diet easily, then sabotaging it all in one foul swoop. Darn annoying isn't it.

How are you hoping to lose the weight? Are you following a plan, or 'doing your own thing'?
 
Hi! :)

I'm doing my own thing really. I find that if I pressure myself to stick to a specific diet then it tends to trigger a binge so I need to know I can eat what I want when I want it BUT only when I truly want it and not out of emotion.

I have to stop myself when I am full and make sure I am only eating when I'm hungry. Sound so simple but as someone who has overeaten for years, it's hard for me to know when I'm genuinely hungry.

What are you doing? Following a plan?
 
I wanted to put this in my sig but too many characters so thought I'd pop it here. Here are my target weights. I'm hoping that by breaking it down into smaller goals, it will be less intimidating:

13st by 5th Sep 08
12st 8lb by 3rd Oct 08
11st 13lb by 7th Nov 08
11st 7lb by 5th Dec 08
11st by New Years Day 2009
10st 7lb by 20th Feb 2009!!!
 
Pigeonia said:
I have to stop myself when I am full and make sure I am only eating when I'm hungry. Sound so simple but as someone who has overeaten for years, it's hard for me to know when I'm genuinely hungry.
Click to expand...

It is hard isn't it. I use the 'pause' technique. Go to eat something, then stop myself and pause. I try to give it 15 minutes. Then I don't distract myself, just sit for a moment and contemplate :D Have it after 15 minutes if I still want it, or repeat and find something else to do. Works for me...well....took a bit of practice, but got there in the end.

What are you doing? Following a plan?
Click to expand...

I'm maintaining now (see sig). It's a cool place to be :)

Pigeonia said:
. I'm hoping that by breaking it down into smaller goals, it will be less intimidating:
Click to expand...

It's always a good idea to break it down. Then you just keep winning and winning.

BTW, you'll get more sig space the more you post :)
 
Wow well done you! You lost so much weight and to maintain for so long is inspiring! I hope I can be as good.

My son is driving me crackers right now because he's on Summer hols from pre-school so every five minutes he's saying, "I'm hungry Mummy!". He can't possibly be because he's eaten plenty but I think he's picked up bad habits from me and expects to graze constantly throughout the day. :eek:
 
Yesterday was a better day; I had to work in the evening and walked the 2 miles home instead of getting my DH to drive me. Was knackered afterwards and my legs ached like crazy but felt good. Kind of bust by having a Twix and 3 jam sandwiches after though...dohhhh.

Today, my eczema has flared up so I've been mooching around feeling sorry for myself. It's also rained non-stop all day so feeling pretty depressed. That may account for the twelve cookies I've scoffed. That said, on a proper binge day I would usually eat a lot more than that. I've added up my cals and I'm at about 2000 already so I'm not going to eat any more today. I've got to work again this evening so I'll walk home again afterwards and just go to bed I think.

Weighed in at 13st 9lb this morning. Considering I was 13st 7lb last Friday this is not good. I need to lose 3 lb by this Friday to remain on target.

I'm so fed up of being fat and yet I can't seem to stop sabotaging myself.
 
Pigeonia said:
Kind of bust by having a Twix and 3 jam sandwiches after though...dohhhh.
Click to expand...

Ummm. Guess that wasn't on the plan?;) Did you stop? You need to put a gap between wanting and having.

That may account for the twelve cookies I've scoffed.
Click to expand...
Well done for stopping at 12. Yeah...seriously, though how good that was depends on what you did to stop it. Stopping it because you were just tired of eating them = good short term, but not necessarily good long term.
I'm at about 2000 already so I'm not going to eat any more today.
Click to expand...
Okay...now, take it or leave it, but that isn't good practice if you are trying to beat the binge syndrome. Yep..it will help the calories for the day, but often exasperates the problem. Better to have something small and healthy.
Weighed in at 13st 9lb this morning. Considering I was 13st 7lb last Friday this is not good. I need to lose 3 lb by this Friday to remain on target.
Click to expand...
The problem is that dealing with eating issues doesn't lie well with dieting. Having big targets to aim for in the weightloss department, tends to make the eating issues worse. That's not to say you musn't have a weightloss target, but perhaps better to work on the eating issues. Learning how to knock those overeating sessions on the head.

I'm so fed up of being fat and yet I can't seem to stop sabotaging myself.
Click to expand...
It's a pain isn't it, but you can do it. Be kind to yourself.
 
KD said:
Ummm. Guess that wasn't on the plan?;) Did you stop? You need to put a gap between wanting and having.

Well done for stopping at 12. Yeah...seriously, though how good that was depends on what you did to stop it. Stopping it because you were just tired of eating them = good short term, but not necessarily good long term.
Okay...now, take it or leave it, but that isn't good practice if you are trying to beat the binge syndrome. Yep..it will help the calories for the day, but often exasperates the problem. Better to have something small and healthy.
The problem is that dealing with eating issues doesn't lie well with dieting. Having big targets to aim for in the weightloss department, tends to make the eating issues worse. That's not to say you musn't have a weightloss target, but perhaps better to work on the eating issues. Learning how to knock those overeating sessions on the head.

It's a pain isn't it, but you can do it. Be kind to yourself.
Click to expand...

Thank you - very good advice there!

I think I'll have a bowl of sugar free cereal later then because I'm bound to be hungry after work. That should be sufficient.

I did want more cookies - there were about twenty left and usually I would eat the lot over the course of a day. I have thrown the rest in the bin now because I was tempted to 'punish' myself by eating the rest. In that respect, I've done well today.

Small steps.
 
Maybe have a little less cereal, but add some protein? Protein is fab for keeping you going longer.

I always have a few almonds on me. One of the best appetite suppressant pills around ;)
 
Hi P
Well, I hear you on the emotional eating thing, and sabotaging myself, and the menstrual cycle. Are we twins!!!!lol.
Anyway, there is a great book, (and Im not trying to sell it, but it is for the likes of us) and it is called the Beck Diet Solution, how to think like a thin person. It is based on cognitive behaviour therapy, and really works when you are doing it. I did it a while ago, but due to personal things, and college exams I stopped, and sadly it hadnt become habit to me, but I am now back doing it, along with calorie counting. It doesnt tell you what diet to do, but behaviours to change, eg. dont eat standing up!! Easy? not as easy as you think, its amazing how much you actually eat standing up. anyway, check it out on line to see the gist of it, or you can trawl back through my diary to see some of the days I have been addressing, have to admit, not doing it 100% but should be. Bad time for me at the mo cause Im very very pre mens.
Anyway, best of luck, and will be here for you.
xx
 
clarri said:
Hi P
Well, I hear you on the emotional eating thing, and sabotaging myself, and the menstrual cycle. Are we twins!!!!lol.
Anyway, there is a great book, (and Im not trying to sell it, but it is for the likes of us) and it is called the Beck Diet Solution, how to think like a thin person. It is based on cognitive behaviour therapy, and really works when you are doing it. I did it a while ago, but due to personal things, and college exams I stopped, and sadly it hadnt become habit to me, but I am now back doing it, along with calorie counting. It doesnt tell you what diet to do, but behaviours to change, eg. dont eat standing up!! Easy? not as easy as you think, its amazing how much you actually eat standing up. anyway, check it out on line to see the gist of it, or you can trawl back through my diary to see some of the days I have been addressing, have to admit, not doing it 100% but should be. Bad time for me at the mo cause Im very very pre mens.
Anyway, best of luck, and will be here for you.
xx
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your reply! I shall have a look into that book, it sounds like it might be what I need. :)

I can see that you and I are about the same weight so have about the same to lose. Is this the biggest you've ever been?
 
Ooh no,
Over the past 3 years or so, I have lost about 10lbs, just on its own. I think its because I met my partner, and was probably really overeating when I was on my own, and because Im a secret eater, I dont "binge" in front of him, not that he would make a big deal, but he knows how unhappy I am, so tries to make "useful" comments about my food intake, which of course I get totally defensive about, but he is right!!! So ridiculous the way we eat and are so unhappy when we do. Grr!!!
xxx
 
Well today has been better than yesterday so far. I've not binged and managed to stop at just the one KitKat :p

I'm working again this evening so will walk home afterwards. I'm a cleaner so the two hours I work are spent being physically active so all in all it adds up to some good exercise.

Weighed in at 13st 8lb still this morning. My target was 13st 6lb by Friday - looking unlikely. I know I shouldn't weigh myself every day but it's so hard not to!!!:eek:
 
I 'emotionally' eat aswell or also when I'm bored, so I'm trying to cut out all snacks apart from 3 fruit a day (mid morning, mid afternoon and evening)

I also weigh myself too much - sometimes 4 or 5 times a day !

I'm only going to record my weight once a week though (same time/same day weigh-in))
 
Yesterday evening was a success; I walked home and did not eat anything else.

Am 13st 7lb on scales this morning. I wonder if I'm really good, if it could be 13st 6lb by tomorrow?

Am off to see a friend this morning so our sons can play, so that's time out of the house. Boredom leads to a lot of eating for me!
 
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