WELCOME TO MY RANDOM RAMBLINGS DIARY!!!
Ok so you all know me as ethier kiirwarr, Kiira , Piink or Punkii.. i dont mind ethier or all to be honest =D..
You all know me pretty well but for those of you that dont ?? here goes...
AGE :: 24
When i first started xenicals i was nearly 24 stone *yikes* but after 7 and half months ive knocked this right down to 14 stone 13lbs... i feel so happy to be able to type this but at the same time i feel a bit disapointed that even after all the loss i dont see myself in a nicer light , all i care bout is gettin to the next goal. But still until im at target weight i will keep trucking on and doing what i must..
Everyone has those photos that make you cringe and think WTFFFF am i doing to myself.. or maybe its clothes? you try on clothes and realise that the big size you brought that made you feel safe to have is now too small and you feel like melting away and becoming invisable... well i spent years like that maybe 2-3 years being fed up , not really trying .. staying in bed , avoiding friends and family... it ruined my life.. to the point i didnt have any life... i went to the doctors and begged her to let me have the gastric bypass operation... THANKFULLY she turned me down and said due to my depressionate state i couldnt have it and to come back when im feeling happier ... i thought to myself "are you crazy how am i ever gunna be happier" i spent that night snapping at everyone and being upset and horrible... the next morning .. well i duno what happened i just woke up and thought well stuff this ill do it myself.... and i remember the feeling i had that morning so well...it was pure determination.. i remember it coz it never really leaves my heart and mind.... and i feel really lucky, its as though some kind of miricle happened.. but whatever it was i am very grateful..
FAV WEIGHT LOSS MOMMENT ::
Realising that it can come off , i think a lot of us easily think ahhh this wont work and even after loosing weight its hard to think "i can/have do/done this" so after the first few months and dropping the first lot of clothes sizes i finally thought... i can freakin do this and i will do this......getting to 101lb loss was a huge thing for me i never thought id be sitting here typing this.... and sometimes it feels as though im living this other persons life , i never seem to do well or suceed in many things which is why this all seems surreal... but i know this is my life and i am doing this so ill shushh.
WORST WEIGHT LOSS MOMMENTS::
I'd have to day the worst weightloss momments were thinking about the loose skin and how anyone would accept me as a person , wondering how i can feel like a woman if i ended up with tons of loose skin , also when i hit plateau its heartbreaking and you get scared thinking omg what if the scales suddenly go up again .. its a scary thing.. i guess you always freak out at your biggest fears though..... Another worst and possibly the most stupid thing i did was try VLCD (liprotrim) i nearly messed up my whole diet and im so glad family/friends made me see the light before it was too late...
WHY WAS I OVERWEIGHT::
Well not a subject i will go into detail with , but i feel as you all know me quite well and some of you see me as inspriations (your words lol) i figured id open up and keep it real.. when i was younger i was slim .. was abused by my stepdad , lost my lil bro to liver cancer.. my mum suffered mental illness and killed herself.. which left my younger brothers and sisters all to go into care.. i was a mess and ran away lived on the streets for two years .. when i was 16 i met a guy (thomas) was with him 4 and half years, it was a abusive relationship & in the time i was with him i had many broken bones... i finally got the courage to leave him and escape to a womens aid refuge and changed my name and couldnt talk to my family or friends and tell them where i was...........i become depressed and comfort ate... the real problem started 2 years ago i was sexually attacked and that was it....it kinda ended me inside and i gave up on life on everything and stopped doing almost everything .. gained so much weight its unreal..... BUT now im a completly diff person and im so over all this... sure at times i get down but who doesnt?? and im pretty sure everyones had there fair share of crap in life so =D CARPE DIEM!!
MY OPINION ON THE BEST DIET::
I dont like the word diet...i prefer the whole lifestyle change kinda thing and no not just because it sounds fancy ... but because in my opinion it's the only thing thats healthy and guarenteed to work properly.. im not putting down other methods and im sorry to those who get offended but this is just my opinions... i think healthy eating and exercise is the key to all this weight loss stuff..
WHAT I EAT?::
A lot of people ask me what do i eat...so ill try and list a few things... To be honest my eating habits are often boring and i stick to the same stuff but they work for me so im happy... jacket potato veggies and chicken breast.... tuna pitta with salad.. bran flakes with skimmed milk .. fruit smoothies...quorn products... for snacks i eat tesco reduced fat raison bars... weight watchers deserts , and snack a jacks... i love sucking on ice cubes tooo (duno why lol)... i dont count calories.. i just watch my fat intake and i keep below the 45g a day limit... i never have side effects... a lot of people think if you dont have side effects the tablets are not working this is soooo not true .. just means your being good .
WHAT EXERCISE DO I DO?::
Gym daily (unless i cant make it which is very RARE.) and on those days i still walk 2-5 miles , do my wii fit and exercise dvd's which is still a good workout.
i have hip hop cardio dance, swimming and squash every week.
this is a lot of exercise but then its become my fav part of the day i really love working out and getting involved in it all. nothing beats a good gym sess.
BEST THING ABOUT MINIMINS??::
For me the fav part of Minimins is the way its easy to find people that you can relate to and you dont feel so embarrsed and uncomfy talking bout many things that you just cant with other people... I've been here a long time and made some great friends... i think the important thing to notice about minis is that even people that seem to do really well have bad days (myself included) so it helps those that need a lil boost to see that we are all human and we are all not without mistakes.
So yeah thats my lil blog intro i hope it wasnt boring lol.. i couldnt do a normal intro as with me so far into my journey you guys know it already so i hope this was okay...
I'll prob be posting every day .. might be stuff about weightloss or it might be other things like.. stuff on the news , tv shows... well anything really =D...