Rant and a shoulder to cry on!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by hannahkaye, 18 October 2006 Social URL.

  1. hannahkaye

    hannahkaye This is it!

    Start Weight:
    20st4lb
    Current Weight:
    18st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    17st4lb
    Lost(%):
    1st13lb(9.51%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    I am having the worst day of my entire life and that's a pretty amazing feat. The agency that I'm working for are currently screwing me out of my holiday pay and even though it's pretty much illegal, they won't do anything about it, which leaves me with two choices, leave (the best job I've had ever) and get a new job and take them to employment tribunal, or stay and feel like they've walked all over me! I now have to go through a grievance procedure (that they are a little reluctant to show me) and keep moving it forward. I've taken independent legal advice and they've told me that I have a case, but that means more messing around and I just want it over!!

    I'm on week 21 of CD and I'm absolutely starving, but I think it's the stress that's getting to me so I'm not giving in! And just to top it all off, my gran is driving me insane. She won't stop going on about how ugly I was before I started this diet now and now that I've lost nearly 6 stone, I'm suddenly turned into miss world!!!

    I am just about at the end of the void and it's not going to take much more to throw me over the edge.

    Rant Over!
    Hannah
     
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  3. dizzy-n-mizzy

    dizzy-n-mizzy Not dieting ATM!

    Diet:
    Together we lost 8 stone on CD.
    Oh Hannah

    Sorry it's such a bad day. I can't advise on the work problem but I think you have done a good thing in writing it down. I know what you mean about your gran you could have a quiet word and tell her you know it is her way of telling you she is proud but that it hurts your feelings or you could just bite your lip and tell yourself she is just proud. (My gran was outspoken about weight gain etc too!)

    Are your family and friends any help?

    One thing I know it won't seem quite so bad tomorrow!

    Best wishes

    Dizzy x
     
  4. Maintainer

    Maintainer ** Chief WITCH **

    Start Weight:
    141kg
    Current Weight:
    69.3kg
    Goal Weight:
    65.0kg
    Lost(%):
    11st4.1lb(50.85%)
    Diet:
    Self devised
    You do have a lot to contend with! My sympathies.

    How can they not pay you your holiday pay? I'm far from an expert, but that doesn't sound right at all... and I bet they're not keen to show you the grievance procedure! :mad:

    Perhaps this website will help Acas - Home

    My Gran used to be very outspoken too, so I know how hurtful those comments can be. I remember her once complimenting me on my weight loss, saying she'd nearly not recognised me standing by my car waiting for her. I glowed in pleasure, and then she added: "and then I saw your BUM and knew it was you!"

    Keep guzzling that water!
     
  5. i'lldoit

    i'lldoit Banned

    Hi Hannah
    YOUR NOT HUNGERY IT IS THE STRESS!
    Im sorry your having problems BUT DONT EAT AND LET THEM MAKE IT WORSE FOR YOU!
    WELL DONE ON THE 6 STONE LOSS ANY BEFORE AND AFTER PICS????:) WOULD LOVE TO SEE THEM????
    XXC
     
  6. MandyB2

    MandyB2 Moderator/CD Counsellor

    (((BIG HUGS))) to you honey... sounds like you're having a horrid time!!! hopefully things will start looking brighter as the day goes on... Some employers are real barstewards!!!! and we really do need to stick up for our rights in the workplace.. try to stay calm but firm with regard to the situation.. they don't seem to be playing very fair!!!!.. I hope you can get this stuff sorted.
    Your Gran is probably just complimenting you an a strange sort of way... some folk can be a tad(or a lot!!)insensitive without meaning to be... perhaps she just wants to help you maintain your fabulous loss by reminding you how unhappy she thought you were before... not a very tactful way of doing it but hopefully with all good intention:)

    Chin up hun... for every bad day there's usually a good one round the corner to balance life out!!!!!!:)

    Love xxxxx:)
     
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  7. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

    Ahh poor you!

    Re the work thingy - you can just walk away and get a new job but I think you would regret letting them get away with it (I speak from experience here). I say fight and take em to the cleaners!!!

    Re granny - oh lordy - old dears are the end, sometimes, aren't they. On the plus side, she's obviously so damn proud of you she wants to sing it from the rooftops so try to focus on that, hun!

    I'm so sorry you're having a pants day - how about treating yourself to a nice new outfit to cheer yourself up? Always works for me! lol
     
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  8. hannahkaye

    hannahkaye This is it!

    Start Weight:
    20st4lb
    Current Weight:
    18st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    17st4lb
    Lost(%):
    1st13lb(9.51%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Thank you all!

    Hi Guys

    After a good night sleep, it doesn't look so bad anymore (still not as uncomplicated as I'd like, but that's life!)

    I've made a few decisions. First off is that I am going to look for a new job, but at the same time also keep trying to resolve the issue with my current employer over my holiday pay. Last time I spoke to a lawyer he said I had a case to take to an employment triburnal and that's probably where this is heading, but i won't be made to back down just because they're intimidating me. So now I have to find a lawyer and get this thing started but I'm going to try the local law advise centre first just to make sure that I still have a case!

    As for my gran, well I've decided that I need some time out from her. The scenario that i described was just the tip of the iceberg with her and I just don't need it at the moment. everytime i let myself get close to her again, she hurts me and I've just had enough for now. Having said that, it's not easy being able to switch off. I remember my dad (his mother) saying once that you had to hate her because to love her would destroy you. I never really understood what he meant at the time now I know all too well.


    So my diet is the least of my worries at the moment, but thank God for my routine at least with that there is no way of me slipping of the wagon, plus I've come so far (just over 5 months) and nothing is going to get in the way of me achieving THIS goal!

    Thanks again everybody who left kind words!
    Hannah
     
    FatFairNForty(ish) likes this.
  9. dizzy-n-mizzy

    dizzy-n-mizzy Not dieting ATM!

    Diet:
    Together we lost 8 stone on CD.
    Glad things are looking a bit better today and that you have made some good decisions.

    Dizzy x
     
  10. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

    Good for you, hun! Things always look better after a good night's sleep.

    Re taking time out from your gran - I have to be honest and say that I've done this with several of my family members - as someone who's prone to depression, I just had to protect myself from their poison. I had to make a conscious decision to refuse to allow any more negativity in my life (with my gran, it was when I was 14!!!!! But we were reconciled just before her death 4 years ago, which is something I suppose).

    So I fully understand where you're coming from on that one, hun.

    Good luck with the legal action - sock it to the buggers!!!
     
  11. nadhak

    nadhak LIGHTER LIFE FOR LIFE

    Diet:
    lighter life maintaining and occasional re-starting
    Hannah
    glad you are feeling better - the hunger was obviously emotional hunger and not true hunger - at least you recognise that now?
    Your gran - hmm well old people do feel they have a right to speak their mind - not all people see Fat as ugly but some see fat bodies and do not see inner beauty - My nana [god bless her] used to say I would never get pregnant because there was no room in my fat stomach for a baby to grow!
    I was desperately trying to get pregnant after 3 years of trying and this was not what I wanted to hear!
    Good luck with the job hunting
     
  12. hannahkaye

    hannahkaye This is it!

    Start Weight:
    20st4lb
    Current Weight:
    18st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    17st4lb
    Lost(%):
    1st13lb(9.51%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    God help me!

    Hi Guys

    It's finally happened. This thing with the stupid agency has actually become serious. I am currently writing a time scale of events for my "step one" grievance letter to the company. I'm having to become my own employment lawyer, spending half the night on the internet trying to figure out what the hell my rights are as an agency worker. I can't actually afford a lawyer so it's up to me!!!

    So I'm a little bit scared and a lot angry about this whole thing. The only way this can be resolved is them recognising that they are witholding my wage and that they need to recitfy the situation. The longer this goes on, the more it makes me realise that I'm going to have to leave, and I really don't want to but I'm not being given much choice. I spoke to the business manager last Tuesday asking for a written grievance procedure and I still haven't got one yet. So in limbo at the moment, but definetly decided that I can't back down when I know that I'm right. To back down now would be doing something the old me would have done and I'm not going back there again.

    Rant over! Thanks for listening.
    Hannah
     
  13. georgiasmum

    georgiasmum Regular Member

    Start Weight:
    19st0lb
    Current Weight:
    18st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st9lb(3.38%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge 810
    Go to the CAB - they are helpful with employment law as is their website. They have good advice there!
     
  14. vj

    vj Regular Member

    Start Weight:
    14st0lb
    Current Weight:
    12st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st3lb(8.67%)
    Diet:
    Slim & Save
    Many local solicitors can offer a free consultation. I used them (about 30 mins) when I was having problems getting my deposit from my landlord (was worth it though for legal standing and confidence in court).
    Bit of advice for this route: write facts about your problem in chronological bullet point list to hand to solicitor so you don't waste time on q&a session but move on to your legal rights.
    Good luck.
     
  15. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

    Best of luck, hun!!
     
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