I have mentioned before that I am working through Judith Beck's "The Beck Diet Solution" in parallel with my Exante diet, and I know that some of you have also been reading this book. I have now reached Day 29, and I can't help disagreeing with today's message. What I can't decide is whether this is a "sabotaging thought", or whether the book is just plain wrong! So I thought I'd ask you lovely Exante-ers for your thoughts.
I have no problem with the general principle that we should resist what the book rather ungraciously calls "food pushers" by refusing the food they offer, regardless of the effort they have put into preparing it. But I can't help disagreeing with one of the central arguments. The book says that it we are entitled to work towards our weight loss goals as long as we aren't trying to make others feel bad in the process (fine), and that it's OK to disappoint others by turning them down (not so fine). Apparently, we should value our own disappointment (in deviating from our diet) above that of our host (in turning down their food).
To be honest, I consider that to be ill-mannered rather than inspiring. The message of today's chapter in the book isn't about learning how to handle taking a small socially-acceptable portion of something off-plan, but instead insists that we turn down the food altogether, regardless of the offence that it might cause. The theory is that the offence is slight in comparison to the inconvenience to ourselves.
Of course, there are occasions when turning down food is appropriate. The examples that the author cites all seem to be about large gatherings of people, where the actions of any one individual are probably not so prominent or important. And if you're with close friends or family who know that you are following a particular eating plan, then it seems fair enough to turn down food that they know you have previously decided not to eat. Sometimes, as well, you can get away with just saying "no thank you" or hinting at a medical reason for not eating something.
But I hoped this section would help with other situations, where someone has gone to immense trouble to prepare something special for you in particular. The only suggestion the book has to make is that you can say it looks delicious and ask to take some of it home with you to eat later, without eating any of it when it is presented. Well, that just seems rude.
Logically, coming from my mindset and not that of the book, the only option is to take a small amount of the food and enjoy it, then get back on plan immediately and rigidly. But I have always found it very hard to get back on track after that sort of deviation, especially if it is unexpected and I can't plan it all in my mind in advance.
Gah! I know that most food situations aren't so socially or emotionally complex, and that the truly difficult cases probably crop up only a couple of times a year. But they do crop up. How do you handle them?
I have no problem with the general principle that we should resist what the book rather ungraciously calls "food pushers" by refusing the food they offer, regardless of the effort they have put into preparing it. But I can't help disagreeing with one of the central arguments. The book says that it we are entitled to work towards our weight loss goals as long as we aren't trying to make others feel bad in the process (fine), and that it's OK to disappoint others by turning them down (not so fine). Apparently, we should value our own disappointment (in deviating from our diet) above that of our host (in turning down their food).
To be honest, I consider that to be ill-mannered rather than inspiring. The message of today's chapter in the book isn't about learning how to handle taking a small socially-acceptable portion of something off-plan, but instead insists that we turn down the food altogether, regardless of the offence that it might cause. The theory is that the offence is slight in comparison to the inconvenience to ourselves.
Of course, there are occasions when turning down food is appropriate. The examples that the author cites all seem to be about large gatherings of people, where the actions of any one individual are probably not so prominent or important. And if you're with close friends or family who know that you are following a particular eating plan, then it seems fair enough to turn down food that they know you have previously decided not to eat. Sometimes, as well, you can get away with just saying "no thank you" or hinting at a medical reason for not eating something.
But I hoped this section would help with other situations, where someone has gone to immense trouble to prepare something special for you in particular. The only suggestion the book has to make is that you can say it looks delicious and ask to take some of it home with you to eat later, without eating any of it when it is presented. Well, that just seems rude.
Logically, coming from my mindset and not that of the book, the only option is to take a small amount of the food and enjoy it, then get back on plan immediately and rigidly. But I have always found it very hard to get back on track after that sort of deviation, especially if it is unexpected and I can't plan it all in my mind in advance.
Gah! I know that most food situations aren't so socially or emotionally complex, and that the truly difficult cases probably crop up only a couple of times a year. But they do crop up. How do you handle them?
