Relationship rant (hopefully the last)

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by Tinytootz, 27 September 2010 Social URL.

  1. Tinytootz

    Tinytootz Mini crazy cat lady

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    Thought i would have a little rant, get some things out of me!

    My ex finished with me end of July, after 7+ years together. It came as a surprise, but we weren't getting on as well as we once had. I think it was a case of us growing up! We had a flat, a cat and bills to pay, so of course the fun times dwindled. Anyway, i then discovered he had been cheating on me with a lass that had been pestering him (and i knew about it) in 'reality' and via FB since before Christmas! Shes younger than me, and more care free, so i guess he wasn't prepared to grow up yet! I moved out, got my own place and am trying to get a grip on life. But i can't stop my brain from drifting! I miss having someone around, and it drives me mad that he has gone from having me around, straight into having another person around, with no alone time!
    Im trying to throw myself into SW to give me a distraction, starting at the gym on a regular basis next week, and ive taken a cut in hours so i can go out more, as some weeks i do 70! Ive placed a blanket ban on talking about him with friends, as im pretty sure theyre sick of hearing it by now! I don't want him back, but i would like it if he failed miserably in life, and if she left him in the same way he left me! Does that make me a really bad person, or just human!? Thankfully, ive not turned to food for comfort. If anything, i went off food for about 2 weeks, which did me no good. However, co-op chocolate chip cookies did work!
     
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  3. ronniejacobs

    ronniejacobs Gold Member

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    aw hun sending you a hug, it does not make you a bad person it makes you human. You are being incredibly strong
     
  4. sarah83

    sarah83 I will be a yummy mummy!

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    You're just human honey, I can't imagine what you've gone through but he deserves the bad vibes you're sending him!
    Just think - when you see him again when you're looking fab after losing lots of weight (both mentally with him gone, as well as physically) he'll know just what he missed out on, and you'll realise you're much better without him.

    Big Hugs and don't worry about having a whinge about him, we're all here to listen x
     
  5. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

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    You're human and it's natural to have negative feelings after such a stressful event. NO breakup is easy -no matter the cause. Throw in what you've faced and it is much more difficult. I know that you're not wanting to burden your friends, hence the blanket ban, but honey make sure you grieve/rant/cry etc as much as you need to. The title of this thread suggests you're not wanting to talk too much about it, which is understandable and shows that you care about bothering others, but don't do that if you still need to talk. Does that make sense? I say this because something similar happened to my best friend. She was with a guy for 4 years and he dumped her after cheating on her with his flat mate. My mate had moved away to do a MSc and her bf stayed at the uni they met at. She'd met this girl, socialised with her etc and all the time he'd been two timing with her. My mate brushed over it at first but after a while became obsessed with ruining his relationship with the other lass. It caused her pain and her to get bitter about it and he moved on and married the other lass. Do my mate spent all that time and effort hating them and wishing bad on them and I bet she hardly featured in their thoughts. It broke my heart seeing her suffer afterwards-do you know what I mean? And let's face it, is your ex even worth wasting any energy on at all? Get it out of system but don't let his actions taint anything for you. I feel for you - it must be hard to deal with. But well done for being so positive and sticking to SW Hun. Well done! It's a sign of your strength xxxx
     
  6. Tinytootz

    Tinytootz Mini crazy cat lady

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    :) Your replies made me feel warm and fuzzy!

    Oh yes, by no means do i spend all my time plotting how to destroy him, as thats not truly in my nature. But just on the odd occasion, i hope he falls on his arse! Granted, when i found out about the cheating, my mother went and got his keys off him, and we took every scrap of anything that ever belonged to me from the flat, and my oh my, did that feel good! (even the bath plug!). But ive retained my dignity throughout. Ive not bad mouthed him on social networking sites, ive not branded his name about on the internet, and ive not made a scene at him in public. Thankfully, im through most of the ranting and crying, but the feeling sorry for myself is still lingering. But i know for sure that it will soon go. Ive not seen them together yet, not ready for that. One day i will, and hopefully i will get an overwhelming sense of pity for the both of them, as i wouldn't want to start a relationship on such rocky grounds. But if santa delivered him a big pile of poo, that would be ace :) Best get writing my wish list!!!
     
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  7. Rachieb1

    Rachieb1 Member

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    pray his willy turns green and his hair falls out. I did and at least 1 of those i know came true, i'll let you work out which one ;)
     
  8. Tinytootz

    Tinytootz Mini crazy cat lady

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    Please be the first one!
     
  9. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    HUMAN my dear just HUMAN, you really should be wishing the worst for him right now it is the natural order of things.

    You will go through lots of stages , all exactly what you should be doing, because you are an intelligent, normal and hard working girl, so you will do things the right way. He is the loser and for sure, he will do it again.

    The final stage is sooooooooo fantastic. This is when you don't even really think about them. You will find that before to long you will go a whole hour without him popping into your head, and then a day will pass and you will wonder what is different.

    I wish you a safe passage......... you will be fine.

    xxxxx

    Oh by the way I wish him a thousand fleas in his crutch and as my friends will tell you I am a witch, a white witch, but never-the-less he had better watch out.
     
    Last edited: 27 September 2010
  10. chubbyemma

    chubbyemma Silver Member

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    You sound like your doing just great, been strong and holding your head up high.

    you will be just fine, and you sound like your moving on in your life to bigger and better things.you kept your dignity and we are all proud of you! what good does name calling do? I bet he will soon wise up and relise what he has lost!!

    what goes around comes around, and he has green willy and flies to his private parts coming to him..............:eek:

    so he best watch out!!!!!!!
     
  11. Lou*

    Lou* Silver Member

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    The others have said it all hun.. i'll add that most men are all w(^^$%$.. and what goes around comes around once a cheat always a cheat!! Your being super brave and as for not falling off the wagon deserve a huge gold star !! xx
     
  12. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    yeah, if i were you.. id have taken a cut in hours just to allow more time for day dreaming of how god awful his life will turn out to be hahaha


    hope your okay hun. I know its tough, youl get there just fine.

    And soon enough, he'l be looking at the new you, all slim and sexy and having fun, and know hes made a mistake.. she wont look after him the way you did, and cleary he needs someone who'l put up with him!
     
  13. cable

    cable Gold Member

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    mmm think you had a lucky escape from the rat.
    i bet the new girl is wondering when the vacancy she filled will be taken by another, paranoia city for her i think,
    stay strong as you have been, you are an inspiration, and when you are sylph like he can watch and weep.
     
  14. Rachieb1

    Rachieb1 Member

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    Not yet, but I'm hoping the first one comes true very soon :jelous: (my poor little lacking in hair ex :D
     
  15. Gettingthinnerbytheday

    Gettingthinnerbytheday Gold Member

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    Well I reckon the new girlfriend will soon be scared to death of him doing to her what he has done to you, that suits her right IMO
    :D

    Just wait till he see's the new you - that will be all the revenge you need x
     
  16. Lucky7

    Lucky7 Gold Member

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    You'd be a bit odd if you actually wished them well, wouldn't you?!!

    It doesn't sound to me that you're missing 'him' as a person, just the lifestyle of being part of a couple. That's completely undertandable, as you were happy and content in that situation, and weren't the one who was too immature for it. In fact, you ended up with what he wanted really - single and carefree! Plus the fact that you're positively focussing your energies into healthy eating and exercise so will be turning into a Diva quite soon. Foolish idiot man! He has no idea what he's chucked away. And how lucky that you found out what he was really like before you had kids!!

    You keep going exactly how you are - it might hurt at times but that's a natural healing pain. You will come out of this happier and stronger!

    xx
     
  17. Tinytootz

    Tinytootz Mini crazy cat lady

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    Urgh, wish i knew what to do! I have him coming round on Tuesday to discuss the details of the Christening, as we are both Godparents. However, Monday, and ive been out with an old friend, drank about a bottle of rose, and am in turmoil! He came round last tuesday, upset, and with presents for the cat! He said he was thinking about the past, and was upset, but i can't help but think he is also in turmoil about the whole thing. I'm now sat, full of thought (once again), and wishing it would all over. I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about it, it's old news. But i almost feel like ive not said my peace, but i have. Everyone is in 'f**k him' mode, and i wish i was too. Alcohol (in company) is my achilles heel, as i don't drink much. Going to cook MYSELF some tea in a minute, no alcohol involved. Then ill go to bed, go shopping with the mother, and hope it goes well! Rant over (for now :()
     
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  19. Kikikisses

    Kikikisses Silver Member

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    Stick with just the cat quite frankly. He has made his bed and although it will take a while you need to make sure its you you're concentrating on and not missed feelings. You're 'used' to having him around and it just takes time to move away from that.
     
  20. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    Stay true to yourself. Be strong, you will be the better for it in the long run. If you try to turn the clock back you will only be in this self same place again in 6 months time.

    It is his problem if he has regrets. You keep moving forward.

    Hugs xxx
     
  21. Leapfrog

    Leapfrog Champion actifryer

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    Tinytootz, I was once in your shoes. My husband left me after nearly 15 years together for a woman he'd met just twice. I was fat & miserable and felt ashamed and that there was something wrong with me to make him leave. I was embarrassed to tell people he'd left me for someone else.

    Then I lost weight and met someone new. I realised that the way he left me said more about him than me. And on the day of our divorce I felt greeeaaat. My ex said I looked fantastic and he looked awful & much older - I don't know what she's feeding him, but they're welcome to each other lol.

    Your feelings are completely natural - I am so incredibly happy with my new relationship and I say that my husband leaving me was the best decision I never made, but I still hope it all goes t*ts up for him and he comes crawling back so I can squash him underfoot like the maggot he is :D

    Look after yourself and carry on with SW. It really is the best revenge.
     
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  22. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    I could have written that Leapfrog except mine was a 20 year marriage and I was thin.

    They say every dog has it's day and I did when he almost a year after our divorce and he was 2 days away from marrying the mouse he left this tigress for, he pleaded with me to have him back. He beat me up when I said no. Not quite squashing him underfoot but boy did it close all doors for me. If there had been any doubt about being single again, that one afternoon swept all away.

    Anyway this is not about me.

    Take the advice of the ladies on here and wish him further. He does not deserve someone like you.

    hugs.
     
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