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Minimin Addict
*I Just want to say don't bash or attack people on my thread, this isn't a thread to judge peoples believes its just me asking for help/guidance (never used to have to put this on threads but some people in minis enjoy winding people up atm)

Anyway the point of this thread is that i am a lost soul, always have been. I was bought up athiest (although i was christened in a c of e church as a baby) and since a teenager have researched/practised/observed a few religions (c of e, catholic, buddism, wicca- never properly practised just read alot of books) none of them feel like home if that makes sense. The truth is i really don't no where i belong but i know i must belong somewhere.
Recent event have made me feel more lost and i can't get rid of this feeling, so i guess i should do something about it. I know religion isn't always top of everyones agenda these days but i could really use some advice and guidance and probably a little courage!
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I'm a Christian or what the Sun newspaper labelled as a 'born again'!
(before anyone thinks I'm a hypocrite, I know I'm not the best example of Christianity but I do try!)
Anyway I felt like you do all my life, had a rotten childhood but that's by the by. I met a fantastic Christian lady who is still my best friend 20 odd years on, and I simply wanted what she had!
If you really want to learn what Christianity is about, then meet the people who love Him, try an Alpha course, if nothing else you'll make new friends. Reading books is good but seeing His love in action is best. Golly I hope you meet some decent ones! Remember though not everyone who goes to church are Christians in their hearts, the ones who treat you with love and respect are!
I wish you well on your journey x


Minimin Addict
Thanks Shirleen, I was thinking about an alpha course but its run by the scariest priest i have ever met. We went to the church for a christening last year and he was shouting at the congregation :eek: might see if theres one further away! I just don't think i believe everything a christian believes, i dunno its all a bit confusing and all jumbled in my head.
as a catholic im kinda like you on religion
dont go to church as just dont like the stuffiness of it my kids attend a good catholic school yet they attended a christian sunday group then my daughter started wanting to go to service there..

my kids just luved all the happy clappy singing total opposite of a catholic sunday service.. so as a family we went every week urghh always rushed out before the coffee chat after ... we have a son with adhd/autisim and tbh the christian service was way better for his attention

go with what you feel inside.. you dont have to have a ticket to attend a service so try them all.. untill you find which suits you best

as a family a few years ago kids were learning about diff religions at school and we attended every church service in our area lol only one did not like was a johova kingdom thing as they locked us in haha


Minimin Addict
it must be nice that the children want to be involved. I worry about having children and them struggle like i have, although i'd never want to force believes on them i think them at least knowing they belong somewhere is good.
If you look at this website

Thousands of opportunities | Alpha

you can find which Alpha Courses are convenient for you, if that's what you decide to do.

As you have looked at a number of different religions, then you will perhaps have noticed that although they are all different, there are lots of similarities too - basic principles are the same. Recently I have been to an orthodox Jewish synagogue, a Baptist church, and a very high Latin Roman Catholic mass. None of them would suit me, but then I am used to a country CofE church, very traditional.

Maybe you need to ask what it is that you would feel comfortable with. Would you prefer a formal and old fashioned atmosphere, with organ and choir and lovely singing? Or perhaps a more lively and informal service, with everyone singing and clapping? Or perhaps something quiet and contemplative, like the Quakers?

One of the most spiritual people I know doesn't go to any church or follow any religion - but he climbs mountains and paints pictures, and feels closer to creation in doing so.

Feeling like a lost soul is sad, but I am sure that you will find the help you need if you look with an open mind and heart.
I was having a simlar conversation today with a collegue.

I was brought up Catholic as were my children, but whilst pregnant with my daughter several events caused me to question my faith; however, I didn't want my children growing up without God in their lives.

I still feel spirtual but just can't find what fits for me. I think that is why I love India it is full of religion/warmth/happiness & love.

My daughter still believes in God but not the Catholic faith, she now works with a sales team whom the majority are Mormon, she likes some aspects of it but not all and they have invited her to church which she may well do.

I'd do as has already been said, go to a few churches & see where you feel most comfortable.
I'm a christian and was a VERY lost soul for a long time ... I don't want to write too much on here because anything to with religion just gets deleted so here's my personal journal where I write about my walk with God
Since 1985


Minimin Addict
oh i didn't no they deleted them? sorry mods i didn't mean to break any rules, i really just needed some advice.
thanks for the advice and links, i'll check them out. Maybe i need to do a little more soul searching and more research.
I think if you're not happy with the person running a course, you're better looking for a different one. But Alpha really is for people just like you who don't know what, if anything, they believe, and what they want to believe. It just gives you lots more information, and a totally safe environment in which to ask your questions, and maybe get some answers, but at the very least be able to do lots of thinking.

There's another one, a bit less well known, which does something similar, which is called Emmaus.

If you can find something like either of these, they will give you a good opportunity to explore what you might want to believe, with no need to get involved any more than you're comfortable with.

I hope you find something.
I think I understand how you feel and can only say I hope you find what you are looking for.

Whenever I am in North Wales staying with some friends who are very involved with their church which is C of E and am invited to any of the church activities , or go to church with them and experience the feeling of belonging I envy what they have.

It is a feeling of great security within a community, a comfort and as I said a belonging and a belief.

My own religious upbringing was non existent for many reasons.

I genuinely hope you find what you are looking for, you sound so lost.
Nicki, I cant see that this thread would get deleted, its asking for support and advice and I can see already that people are doing nothing other than that, no-one is trying to force their opinion on you, and thats great.

I was brought up on paper as CofE, because they had to put something, but have never been christened. I think there is more to life than mere flesh and logic, but I cant get my head around a mystical higher power in those sorts of terms and have always found myself envying those who can and who gain comfort from those beliefs.

I hope you find what you are looking for.


Gold Member
I found this in the rules -
No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes. The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support. Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere. Limited religious references are allowed (ie. "my prayers are with you" or a brief quote as part of a larger post), but the forums should not be used to convert others.

This isn't overtly religious but just wanted to draw your attention to it. I'm sure the mods will let you know if it's not right though.

It's so sad that you feel how you do, I'm not religious in any way, although I do believe in "something", I'm not sure what it is. I feel that people who have a strong faith are very lucky to have it and I really hope you find what you are looking for hun. x


Full Member
I too find it hard to find my own path on the religious front. I was raised C of E but had a step father who was roman cathlic. Guess i rebelled against the whole lot and found myself drawn to spiritulist churchs and wicca. Everyone has their own beliefs and im sure you will find your own path. Good luck hope you find what your looking for :O)
I am, and always have been an athiest. I do however have a great deal of respect for people who can believe/have faith in something other than themselves.

I have a friend who completed the Alpha course & swears by it.
Also just want to say I find it sad you had to write a disclaimer at the top of your thread. I would hope we are all grown up enough to respect someones beliefs & thoughts on something this important & not turn it into a wind up fest.
I think really, rather than exploring what religion suits you, what you need to do is look at your own self-beliefs and explore and identify who you are. What jumps out from your post, having re-read it, is the feeling of being "lost" and alienated because you dont hold a particular belief that would allow you to feel at home with a particular section of society. That is something I can identify with a great deal. I find most "people" completely alien to me (present company excepted of course!) and very few people have presented themselves in my life who I really connected with.

Perhaps exploring more about who you are, and putting your own self-confidence on a surer footing, might help to alleviate these feelings so that you can move forward with a clearer idea of who you are, what motivates you, and how you see yourself. You dont need to fit a particular group to be a worthwhile person. You just need to know and understand yourself and challenge yourself so that you continue to grow and learn. You are looking to "find your place" - but your place is inside you.


Gold Member
Let me be the first Muslim to post :)

My advise to you would be to find a good meditation class and use that time to do some thinking. It is such an amazing way to centre yourself and just chill out.

Find like minded people- that will help. And talk to a priest, a spiritualist.. Someone who knows the balance between the materialistic world and the spiritual.

I hope you find your way darling. It's horrible being lost x


Silver Member
I am an atheist. I was never brought up in a religion, kindest thing my parents have ever done.
I won't post them for fear of getting banned, even though the world should see them to understand what is happening in the world but look at these:
Dan Eldon

To me, it just presents a big logical fallacy in the god of classical theism. Either god wanted to stop it, but couldn't, therefore he is not omnipotent, or god could stop it, but didn't want to, therefore is not benevolent.
And to the case of those who say they must have done something to deserve it, how?
Really, the people I have the most understanding of why they believe in god is those who have nothing else to turn to, literally nothing is going to save them that they find hope. And that, I would never take away from anyone.
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