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Restarting - It's SO hard! - Why ?

#1
Hi,
Not sure if anyone will remember me. I started LL in MArch, stuck to it religiously (Never cheated once) and lost 4.5 stone. By June 21st I was 10stone and a steady size 12.

I couldn't strat management straight away because the group wasnt running for a fortnight - in theory I should have probably stayed in foundation because in that two weeks I completely "fell off the wagon" and binged. Various things have happened since then - I seperated from my husband, then through counselling we are trying to make a go o things, I have started full time work again (had been part-time after the birth of my daughter). Basically I din't do management and am now 11stone 9. I am disgusted with myself. I honestly never binged before LL - my diet was just very unhealthy - no veg/salad/fruit etc. Now my tastes have changed (one good thing to come from abstinance) and I am happy to eat veg/fruit and salad but go on these amazingly challenging sugar binges where I probably consume about 5000 cals in a day. This is why the weight has gone back on so quickly.

Every Monday since stopping Foundation, I have gone to LL, bought the packs and promised myself I was back into abstinance, but it is SO difficult. I found foundation easy but now I cannot seem to stick to it. I am on Day 2 today. THe most I have done since June is 7 days. I am very determined, but somehow I suddenly get the urge to binge and it lasts for days. I know it can't be healthy to keep going in and out of ketosis.

None of my clothes fit and I feel DISGUSTINGLY massive (even though I am still 3 stone lighter than I was in March!). I am having to buy size 16 clothes.

I feel disappointed in myself for not doing management and, if I manage to lose the weight again, I will definitely do the Route to Management. However, what concerns me more is that we never really got any "counselling". I hear people talk on here about diarys/crooked thinking etc - we didnt get ANY of this. Neither did we ever have our blood pressures checked up on. Basicaly we went, got weighed and went home. I feel we've really missed out and I am cross. I am also concerned that my whole way of eating seems to be much worse than it ever was before LL - why am I binging like this? I am self-sabbotaging and it terrifies me cos I never want to put the weight back on.

I'm not sure why I'm writingthis - i feels better to get it all out. My mum did LL with me (different group but same leader) and has also regained a stone. We are both trying to get the weight back off, both binging and both feeling like we missed out and are "failing".

Has anyone had similar experiences? Anyone else regained the weight and managed to lose it again?

Also, does anyone know if I could move to another LL counseller and re-do Foundation? Would they know that I had done it elsewhere? I know it is wrong but I have thought of using my married name (I used my maiden name) in order to re-do it as I theoretically still have 3 stone to lose. There is another counsellor near me and we have just moved house.

Thanks,
:)
 
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#2
Hi Bethany

I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment. Have you asked your counsellor if you could begin another foundation class with her?
 
#5
Does your LLC have a refresher class? I think this is something they are "meant" to run, and it;'s for people like yourself who have fallen off the wagon and want to give it another go. My own LLC doesn't run one however, saying that! Changing LLC is easy, you just go to another one and fill in a form which authorises her to get your notes from your previous LLC.
 

Lisa

Full Member
#6
I also found it near impossible to start again after losing two stone with Lighterlife. I still have 3 odd stone to lose so I decided to change to Cambridge-found a counsellor and although not doing brilliantly feel a little more motivated than I did before. I also prefer the one to one.
 
#7
I would be angry too as you pay a fair price to LL in order to get counselling groups. Have you considered both moving counsellors and letting head office know as this is not correct practice on your counsellors part to not deliver the counselling sessions. Other people will be losing out too.

Good luck for your journey; you can do it!:)
 
#8
Hello Uphill

Welcome back. Well done for coming back on here; you have had SOOO much going on; I think most of us would have struggled with all of that.

I agree with everyone else on the counselling side; it would be really good to let LL HO know what was going on (or not!).

On the sugar front, several of us have been through the same thing post-Foundation/Development. Unfortunately, I am no scientist but there does seem to be a pattern between following a VLCD and the craving for sugar - something that, like you, I really wasn't into before LL. So you are not alone and you are not failing.

I'd like to offer some practical suggestions:

Here are some easy things that you can do straight off - are you walking at least 10,000 steps daily? That's a must. Any additional exercise is a bonus but that's a great start.
Water - are you drinking 4 - 6 litres daily? Again, each time you want to reach for food, reach for water, distract yourself and see if the addictive desire passes.
Stop thinking of yourself as disgusting (loads of negative comments about yourself); instead, see this as a journey and your opportunity to change your eating habits for good and for the better.
Get out your green Foundation book and start working through it by yourself/with your mum- it's full of so much helpful information.
Check out some of the Development/Management threads on here - there are lots of ideas about dealing with self-sabotage (I started one myself because I was struggling so much) - because many of us felt we couldn't do it on our own.
Blogs/Threads - do you have time to read them? Several contributors on here have blogs and maybe it will help to reconnect with the mindset that's required?
I always suggest that people do thought records (there's a guide on here about how to do them that I wrote) but it might help to read through the Green Book first to really get an idea about the counselling you definitely should have had.
What makes LighterLife different is the counselling; it looks at comfort eating as addictive eating and how we can help ourselves to change our behaviours. I am really saddened that you did not get this support.

I hope this helps; Minimins is a great place to find lots and lots of suggestions and shared experiences. In the meantime, I really urge you to get in touch with LL HQ.

Take care.

Best wishes.

Mrs Lard xx
 
#9
Hey Uphillstruggle

Welcome back! Definitely sounds like you've been through the mill.
Ditto to everything everyone has posted. Call LL immediately and find a new LLC, get in touch and explain you need to find a refresh class. I'm currently searching for a new class and have found that LL can really only give you a contact number, but the LLC's themselves have their own experiences of different LLC's and can often personally reccomend.
Regardless, you are in charge of this and I can't think of one reason why an LLC wouldn't take you based on the history.
I think once you get back to class many other things will fall into place on the restart front.
Do post back and let us know how you're getting on :D
 
#10
THanks so much for all the replies.
I am managing to stick to it and haven't cheated for 4 days so I am now back into ketosis and the hunger is fading. I feel in control and great. The sugar cravings are RIDICULOUSLY strong but I am managing to think mysef out of them!

I'll keep you all posted. Hope I make to at least a week!
x
 
#11
You can make it to 14 weeks if you are determind and really want to do it for yourself. Firstly, you must believe that you can and will do it. No room for doubts. Don't mean to sound bossy but if you doubt yourself you will not suceed!

Good luck on your journey and I bet you feel so much better about yourself already. Kepp going and believe in yourself xx
 


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