Hi Rose, I'm so saddened by your post. No worse place to be than in a relationship without love and respect. I admire you for being so strong about it. Staying away from the one thing that probably would be your "emotional fix" in a time like this takes ALOT of willpower. You seem to me like someone who has a firm head on her shoulders, and that you are already making the changes to your life that are needed. I am in no position to give you advice on your situation but all I can say is in a very short period of time you are going to look and feel great. Once your self confidence is restored (which should be a natural by-product of losing weight) you will be in a better and stronger frame of mind to think about things. Moving on with your life is a hard decision to make, but when the time comes and you know it's right you will be fine I'm sure. There is a lot of support out there for people in your situation. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Does he know how unhappy you are and he's making you? Is it possible for you to get away from him for a while (visit your parents or can you go away with the kids for a few weeks?)
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all these words real but you are the only person who holds the keys to your life and your happiness.
Good luck with today honey, and I really hope you all the best in dealing with your emotions.
Stay strong and focussed and that will empower you x
Sending you many hugs xoxox