Sad Ems

[Em_Butterfly]

Hi guys,

Feeling pretty crap I've been rubbish for two whole weeks and have put on loads of weight because I have just eaten crap. I really want to get back on the diet but keep falling off the wagon.

To top it off I'm fed up to the back teeth of being single. I have been single for nearly 4 years (this January) and find myself constantly thinking of my ex (who I was with for 4 years, I'm 24 so at the time this was a long relationship). My sister, who I love to bits, was single for about 4 months and has recently met a lovely bloke. I've just got in from a night out with the two of them. He was all over her and I've got home feeling fat, ugly and unwanted. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself but I'm only a few stone over weight and could almost be classed as curvey more then anything but no one seems to be interested :cry:I'm fed up of it. Totally fed up. I know I have a good personality, I have a witty sense of humour and I'm dry as the sahara but no one makes the effort to get to know that. My sis weighs about a stone less than me but is taller so, taking that into account, I would look similar with 2 stone off. So guys...is it my weight? I really want to get back on the diet and lose it. I feel that I would then maybe meet someone? I have worked hard for my career but feel that I'm really missing out on having that special someone to share it with. I'm even on a dating site with, what I would consider, to be an okay picture but with very little interest. Starting to feel that I am ugly and no one will ever want to be with me. I hate feeling like this and realise it is unattractive, but the more it goes on, the worse I feel. Does anyone have any advice? Inspiring stories? I want to be slim and would look slim by Christmas if I went to town with the diet and went to the gym to tone up. How can I get the motivation to do that? I really do want to.

Any advice would be gratefully recieved. Thank you for reading :break_diet:Ems x

 

[szoes]

Hi Lots if hugs to u !!!

My thing would be is to hold that feeling !!! be determind never ever to feel like that again.Every time rubbish food calls you just remember how you feel now.

You have done so well 37lb down, the more you loss the more confident you will feel.

I doing belive meeting men is about the conidence you show !!! you have to be confident in your self !!

Wishing you all the best !!!

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Thank you Zoe, I know you are right. I believe I will be more confident when I am slimer. I have never been slim so I need to hold onto this feeling everytime I want to eat rubbish. Thank you for your advice! It's the evenings that get me so I'm going to work late at school, get all my lesson planning done and then go to the gym and then to bed on week nights...hopefully that will remove the temptations as I never have time to eat at school even if I wanted to! x

 

[Sambucca]

Oh Em (((hugs)))

Im sorry you are feeling so down. Im sure most of us who struggle with our weight have had similar feelings at one time or another so we can all empathise with what you are going through.

You asked how can you motivate yourself to get focused on the diet. Well, first of all, I would print off this thread that shows how rubbish you were feeling last night so that you can remember the feeling. Then you can read the replies from friends that support you and care for you, even though we dont have a clue what you look like.

As Zoe said, look how far you have come already and give yourself a pat on the back for such an amazing achievement. You are so close to goal now that you will be there in no time if you just focus, and take it a day at a time.

We're all here for you hun. Stay strong.

 

[kazbro]

aww em
it`s horrible feeling like you do but use them emotions
get strong and determined
mr right will come along when the time is right
dont compare yourself to your sister she is she you are you
use any sadness or low times and turn them around think slimmer
really get ya brain into gear think of why you want this so much and stay focused
in the evening when you are at home stay buisy even if it means posting on mini`s for 2 hrs at a time it will keep you from eating
you can do this you will get to goal

kaz

 

[Chocaholic]

aww ems

Its so tuff having a weight problem and it does give you a low self esteem when everyone around you gets lots of attention and because some people are small minded, you dont get the attention.
Just think of all the nice new clothes you could buy when you have lost the rest of your weight.
Losing weight will boost your confidence for sure.
Remember a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips lol and I know that for sure lol
Food only satisfies you for a short time, but being slim will make you satisfied with your life.

Good Luck and stick with it.
You can do it!!

 

[MsJMC]

They say theres someone out there for everyone ... its when you give up looking it will more likely to happen they say . You want to find your soul mate i know . Why not try another dating site , go on the search seew hats about , you can get them sites women date for free .
Best of luck and i think we've all been on our own for years sometimes ...

 

[domino]

Hey there ems ~ ok first things first, here's a great big hug coming your way :hug99:

Look at what you've achieved so far ~ 37lbs lost, that in itself is pretty darned amazing and shows that you've got what it takes to get right back on track hun. You just need to refocus your head a little and think back to what motivated you to start this in the first instance.

Put the last couple of weeks behind you, it's done now and don't beat yourself up over it ~ just think ahead now and set yourself a mini goal to achieve say by the end of September.

As for the single status ~ don't see it as such a negative thing, yes of course it is nice to share moments in your life with someone special, and we all need some TLC, but you've gotta love yourself too. You sound like a great mate to have, and I would hope that you've got some pretty good mates around that know that too.

The online dating thing is one option, but perhaps you've got to try and widen your social circle (easier said than done I know) so you start to meet other folks and who knows where that may lead. Joining a gym is a great idea, because you get a real sense of well-being after a good gym session and you'll meet new people.

Hope this doesn't sound too preachy...... and sending :vibes: some good vibes, and positive thoughts your way.

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Guys...what can I say? There was tears reading this. I really appreciate everything you have all said and I am going to print this of so I can read it when I need that kick up the backside. You are all right in everything you have said and I am going to take note. Sat here in my gym clothes as we speak and about to go and have a workout. I guess it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and actually do something about it.

You guys are amazing and without you I would be scoffing God-knows-what right now instead of feeling enpowered! Thank you so, so much xxx

 

[BoleynGirl]

Hi Ems, I'm new here but in a similar situation to yourself.

I've been single for pretty close to 2.5 years now after a relationship in which I thought he was "the one". It's taken me that long to get over him. I know that my weight effects my confidence in a big way. I have this facade of being confident, happy, everyone's friend but inside sometimes being like that kills me. I go home and cry because I, too, see my friends with their boyfriends and wonder what's so wrong with me. The thing is, so long as I am thinking like that it isn't going to happen. I think realising that has really helped me.

I have had 2 dates now with a guy I met online. I was soooo hesitant to meet people that way but he's really nice. I'm totally ashamed of my body still and it is obvious to him. I do now wish I'd waited until I lost the weight to meet him, if that makes sense.

So I can't see this going anywhere with him but what I can say is that taking control by doing this diet is the first step in getting my life back together.

Hang in there - it will get better.

BG x

 

[cah-ching]

Hi there,

I totally empathise with you - I'm going through something at the moment.

Just hold on in there. Get on the wagon and try and lose lose lose. As for the bloke thing, I've been single for 7 years (90% of my 20's) and I felt so bad about myself. I've since met a guy online I care deeply about ... yet now, I find myself single again and the thought fills me with upset and dread. I know I'll miss him terribly.
How am I coping with it? I'm just learning to accept it - what else can you do? Accept the status quo, by accepting it it enables you to learn about yourself.

Someone will cross your path when the time is right. In the meantime keep walking life's journey - no point in standing still and looking around for him ... he may be further along the path.

((hugs))