Scared of failing again.

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Tooty Frooty, 7 September 2012.

  1. Tooty Frooty

    Tooty Frooty Well-Known Member

    I apologize in advance if I've put this post in the wrong place but I wasn't sure which section to put it in. I hope someone out there will be able to help me and give me some advice.
    I have been following the slimming world plan on and off for about four years now and each time I haven't been very successful. This has nothing to do with the plan itself as I think it's a wonderful way to eat healthily for life, but more to do with my own personal battles with depression and comfort eating.

    I have now decided, despite still being plagued with depression, to which I am attending counselling, that I absolutely have to tackle my weight problem or else I'm going to end up with a serious health problem. I am currently about 8 stone overweight and have managed, somehow to put this amount of weight on over the past 5 years as a result of having two children and severe post natal depression after each of the births, which in turn caused me to turn to food to help me feel better.

    I have decided to re join my local group on Wednesday this week, but I have to be truthful in saying that I am so scared of failing again as it has such a catastrophic effect on me, whereby I give up and end up gaining another stone or two.

    The main problems are that I feel overwhelmed by the amount of weight I have to lose and think that it's going to take me so long to get there that it utterly depresses me, and also I put myself under enormous pressure by being influenced by other peoples achievements and feel envious and am very hard on myself if I have a bad week.

    I guess what I'm asking is does anyone else feel like this, does anyone else have as much to lose as I do, and if so, how do you stay focused and motivated, and finally, does anyone want to be a buddy to me to support me on the long journey I have ahead of me?

    Thank you for reading, I'm sorry for rambling on.
  2. Kimboowee

    Kimboowee Well-Known Member

    I had severe postnatal depression after the birth of both my children, I'm still taking meds now. I'm pretty sure my weigh had contributed to how I feel slighty. I lost A LOT of weigh after #1 and tbh I did feel better.

    I have about 9.5st to loose, I'm going to take each half stone as it comes. Good luck xx
  3. PatchworkPuss

    PatchworkPuss Well-Known Member

    There was a thread about this recently that I posted to

    I think the crucial thing to do before you join is to think the reasons why you failed the other times you joined and come up with a strategy for stopping that happening again. Know what your danger times and triggers are and have a plan for what you will do when they come up again. If you have no plan then you will likely just revert to old habits because they are familiar and easy

    Someone famous said " Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" lol

    So if its say evening snacking that is an issue - dont have high syn stuff in the house, save your syns to use in the evening and have a lot of SW friendly treats and foods on hand :)
  4. Marshflower

    Marshflower Well-Known Member

    Wow Jezzi, me and you have a lot in common.
  5. melarnz

    melarnz Well-Known Member


    I too have a large amount to lose (about 11 1/2 stone!)

    Whilst I don't have clinical depression, I too am seeing a councellor for to find out what my issues are to overeating. I comfort eat, boredom eat, happy eat, stress eat (and any other eat you can think of).

    One of the things we have been discussing lately is the way I use my past failures as a reason to not try again, therefore proving myself right everytime I 'fall of the wagon'. What my she said to me is I have to work on self praise. Learn a little at a time to give myself a pat on the back, on what ever area of my life it happens to be. The other thing I do (which may sound weird and takes practise), is talk to my stomach or my head. Why do you want this? how are feeling? Is this going to make you feel better? Try and really 'feel' how your feeling rather than how u 'think' u r feeling. Just try and put a gap between the food and thought.

    I'm sorry if this all sounds like rubbish, but it has really helped me! I have been back on plan for 2.5 weeks now. I've had my wobbles, but instead of saying 'see I told you you couldn't do it' I have said, oh well, I'm only human, straight back on plan from the next meal!

    I really hope you do try again, if u do need a buddy, im happy to be here. Im happy to pass on my number if u need more immediate support.

    Mel xxx
  6. Tooty Frooty

    Tooty Frooty Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your replies. It', good to know I'm not alone and that there's support out there, which I know I will definitely need.

    Mel, thank you for saying you'll be my buddy. I have decided that I'm definitely going to rejoin on Wednesday and I know that I'll have to change my whole mindset if I want to succeed.

    I NEED to do this. Not only for me, but for my two young boys who'll need their mummy around and able to look after them instead of being too fat to get around.

    Will maybe start another weight loss diary on here as that will help keep me on track. Mel, I'm out and on my phone just now but I'll add you as a friend so we can keep in touch. Do you follow the extra easy plan?

    Thanks again everyone xx
  7. Safia

    Safia Well-Known Member

    Hi we have similar starting and end target weights and like you thats exactly what i felt, just seeing how much i had to lose really overwhelmed me and depressed me. I have 3 children and with my 1st i suffered pnd very badly which made me overeat and weigh my heaviest which is a stone more that on my profile! This is my 4th attempt at sw and this time i have changed my whole attitude towards losing weight. At the beginning of my weighloss journey i would only look st the bigger picture and feel depressed if i had a small loss, sts or gained weight but now i have a long list of mini targets that make me a lot happier when i achieve like stones, half stones, 10% drop in bmi, drop under 200. Now when i sts or gain i just get a little disappointed but carry on trying to achieve my next little target which spurs me on. Also going to group has helped me immensly so thats a really good step you are taking x
  8. Supergirl1980

    Supergirl1980 Well-Known Member

    I started SW almost a year ago with 9 and a bit stone to lose. Strangely, I never really thought of myself as that big and didn't really consider the bigger picture as it was just too much to get my head around. I just took each week on ints own merits, looked forward to the next 1/2 stone sticker, or to dropping down into the next stone. Now, a year on, I have lost over 7 stone and am less than 2 stone from what I think will be my target (12stone).

    I have done SW at least 3 or 4 times in the past and each time lost about 3 stone and then put it back on. For some reason, this time felt different. Maybe it was because every time I joined in the past was when a friend wanted to have someone to go with, or once to slim down for my wedding. This time, I joined on my own, because *I* wanted to do something about my bad eating habits. I think that sometimes, even after lots of failed attempts, something just clicks in your head and makes it pretty easy to keep going. It has to be the right time for you to do it, I think forcing it when you are only half committed is a mistake. When your head is in the right place, following the plan doesn't seem difficult at all.

    Good luck!
  9. Tooty Frooty

    Tooty Frooty Well-Known Member

    Thank you both for your lovely and encouraging messages. It really does help to know that I'm not the only one who has had to have a few attempts at this weight loss thing before finally getting it.

    I'm looking forward to starting my own weight loss journey and I'm determined not to put too much pressure on myself and just take it a day at a time. I love the idea of setting mini goals so that it doesn't seem as daunting.

    Thanks again and well done on your journeys so far xx
  10. Dolly Rocker

    Dolly Rocker Well-Known Member

    I have been dieting on & off for the last 5 years NEVER getting to target or anywhere near it - I am going to just concentrate on mini goals - 1 at a time & try not to focus on the target because I just find it so unacheiveable then I quit I am hopeless.

    Anyway started last week & I would love to get to Target by March next year but even if it takes me longer I will be just as happy to get there.

    I am also a binge & comfort eater - I eat for all reasons happy, sad, depressed, commiserating, celebrating - You get the idea I just need to get out of using food to make me feel anything really - I need to understand that food is fuel!

    I want to wish you the best of luck - We should all check into this thread & keep each other posted on our progress.

    Lots of love Dxxx
  11. Tooty Frooty

    Tooty Frooty Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your reply D. Well it was my first weigh in lastnight and I'm pleased to say I lost 8.5lbs. It's given me a great boost and I can't wait to get stuck in again this week.

    How's everyone else doing? xx
  12. toddleo

    toddleo Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to say "hi" Tooty Frooty, what a superb loss, well done! keep it up.
  13. ScarlettStar86

    ScarlettStar86 Well-Known Member

    Wow that's fab well done!
  14. peacelily

    peacelily Well-Known Member

    Crikey Tooty Frooty, go girl! What a result! Good luck for another great week and keep posting. :)

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