Self Sabotage!!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by RED, 6 June 2007 Social URL.

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  1. RED

    RED Full Member

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    I cant believe it!!
    I was doin so well..I finally got down to 15st 2lb I was nearly out of the 15's... (been stuck there since december!!)
    and what do I go and do!!
    Well Im sure u all saw my previous thread where I fell off the wagon over the weekend whilst lookin after my bro's kids...
    Well I thought I was cool I popped in to see my counsellor and was ready to get back on track monday...well Its wednesday now and I have eaten till I am felling to burst!! I have put on 12lbs!! I know most of that is water but I feel the spiral of sabotage kicking in!!
    Anyway tomorrows a new day...I am gonna set a mini goal...
    Which is to get through tomorrow!!

    Here we go...AGAIN!!

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  3. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    Just checkin' your tracker Red. What an incredible weight loss so far. You have lost what I lost and I see you still have a few stone more to lose.

    I take my hat off to you, I really do. If I could I would give you a big hug:hug99:to cheer you up.

    At this stage you are very close to your final goal. It is a scary thought. You are right to call this thread "self-sabotage" because that is exactly what it is. The question is, WHY are YOU wanting to sabotage this incredible success?

    I ask because it is something I have always done in the past. I have usually got to about 13 stone and then everything falls apart. It happened time and time again. This time, with LL I was worried about the 13 stone milestone again but we talked about it at our meeting and discussed the reasons why people sabotage their diets. It is very common and the reasons are wide-rangeing and varied.

    Fear of being slim - particularly if you have never been slim, as I hadn't.

    People having expections of you when you become slim - you cannot hide away and make excuses any more, you have to stand up and be counted, you can't use your excess weight to decline invitations, not do things.

    Fear of failure - so fail on your own terms - take the initiative, as it were.

    Difficulty coping with male attention.

    Difficulty coping with changing attitudes of family, friends - some may feel threatened by new you emerging.

    I don't know if any of these have you you nodding your head, or make you think of other reasons, whatever, please share them with us here.

    Self-sabotage is a major problem. I managed to get over it thankfully (for the first time) and use strategies to manage it after chatting with the group.

    I am pleased that you shared your dilemma with Minis, hopefully, other members here will be able to post their experiences and advice too. One way or another we will support you as much as we can through this difficult time Red. You deserve to succeed, you have worked so hard to achieve over 100lbs weight loss, we are all rooting for you!
  4. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    Cambridge Weight Plan - Step 1
    I could have written your post Red ... I'm so alike you that it's uncanny. Just before Christmas I was 12st 7lb and thought that, for once, I was going to get to goal - then it all went horribly wrong.

    I'm currently back in the 15s (what is it with the 15s???). Maybe it's not heavy enough to be 'super-obese' like I was when I was in the 20s but not light enough to be 'slim'. Just heavy enough to hate myself.

    I have no idea where the self-loathing comes from or why I feel the need to dislike what I see in the mirror but it's there - even at 12st 7lb I didn't like my reflection any more that when I was 22st. I'm no psychologist but maybe that's what is causing me to self-sabotage.

    Can't speak for you of course ... we're all different but thought I'd just say you're not alone (by the way, I've put on similar amounts in a short time too ... thought I was some sort of record breaker for rapid weight gain!! :))

    Good luck with your mini-goal today: got my fingers crossed for you.
  5. Mrs Lard

    Mrs Lard Silver Member

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    Hello Red (and AJ and Russian Doll)

    Do you remember when you saw the introductory DVD for LL ie before Session 1 on Foundation? It mentioned that we all know WHAT to do (foodwise) yet we don't do it. The aim of LL is to give us the tools to deal with these issues ie self-sabotage. Food is just one way of not treating ourselves well.

    I've done it during LighterLife AND for most of my adult life, one way or another. Totally agree with AJ's comments.

    Someone has suggested this book; I haven't seen it yet but it might help:

    The Little Saboteur: Get Things Done in Life by Conquering Your Weaker Self
    by Marco von Munchhausen

    It's a lighthearted approach.

    I think that we sabotage ourselves in so many different ways and it's only by practising new strategies that we can overcome these destructive patterns.

    I wish you well and just don't beat yourself up.

    Take care.

    Mrs L xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    Mini likes this.
  6. RED

    RED Full Member

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    Thanks for the replies...dunno why i always get to this weight and never pass it...on friday i was 15st 2lb today I am 16st 2lbs...I feel so angry with I completely binged now I have a headache I feel like i am going to burst or be sick...and to top it off I'm about to come on so I am in the perfect position to undo all my good work!!Again I will set another goal : Get through tomorrow!!
  7. alunsarah

    alunsarah Member

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    Dearest Red
    I really feel for you at the moment. Its a situation that everyone of us has experienced at sometime in our lives. If we hadn't we wouldn't have to be on this extreem diet. Id love to tell you it will be easy to re-find your will power but I can't. However what I can tell you is that what you have already achieved is amazing, you may doubt yourself at the moment, but noone else here doubts you. You will break through into the 14s and get to your goal. You have begun the journey you've travelled to far to turn back now..
  8. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Hi Red,

    I would just like to echo this post by alunsarah along what everyone else has already said...

    Don't lose sight of what you have already achieved and the road to success is paved with mistakes and failures.

    Look at all the great achievers they never give up!

    Never give up and believe in yourself that you will do it!!!

    Love Mini xxx
  9. tishtosh

    tishtosh Hopeful for the future

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    Believe in yourself Red - you've achieved so so much so far which shows you can do so much.
    Good luck tomorrow - it's really good you have a mini goal that is achievable - you'll do it if you're ready and you want to do it.....
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