Sharon's diary

hi everyone *waves a bit shyly* I came on here 7 weeks ago when I first started Slimming World. I just hid behind my iPad reading all the successes and friendships that formed. But I wasn't too sure this type of logging/diary making was really for me. Now, a few weeks later , it seems I do need this type of support. I'm absolutely awful at writing daily, answering promptly etc. But I hope that doesn't matter to everyone. Ok here's my story, I'll try to shorten it. But maybe if I say my life out loud it might just help ME too....

I've always been the chubby kid. Even though I was really active (grew up in the 70's/80's) I ate garbage. Not literal garbage lol. I have a killer sweet tooth. I would think nothing of digging into a tub of Betty Crocker frosting. I'm an only child "latch key" kid with divorced parents. Like so many of others. I ate. It made me happy. Then I hated myself. So I ate some more. In high school, I lost some weight, gained hips and boobs and did the 80's look very well. I wasn't thin, but I wasn't obese either. I was the cheer leader, track runner, pep rally organiser but I still ate garbage. I went off to college. Gained more weight. Met my ex husband, married, had a baby and then my life became HELL. Abusive marriage, away from family living a few states away and became trapped. His Family members watching my sons while I worked nights, weekends and extra hours. I needed money to feed my son. I was deeper in this awful marriage and couldn't afford gas in the car to leave. I didn't tell my family cause I was so deeply ashamed. Fast forward 4 years, grabbed my preschooler, loaded the car up and drove off back across a few states back to my parents. Relieved but shaking their heads, "I told you so". So a few years later, I'm still obese and meet a wonderful man. He loved me and my son. My ex didn't know. Two years later, my ex passed away suddenly. And I found I was now free. From him. Mentally. But really, I'm not. I still think about him of the hatred and sadness I still hold. He's been gone now 8 years. My son is now 17. My husband and I are married, going strong at 8 years. I am american living abroad in England. Did I mention my husband is British? And I love it here. So, my weight. I'm still. Still. Still overweight. I've managed to lose 3 stone 2 yrs back running. But after a chest cold, winter and comfort food, I stopped running. I gained all the weight back except 5 pounds. And I've had enough. So 7 weeks ago I joined SW and have 21 pounds so far. I've gone from 17.2 stone to 15.8 stone. I'm joining pure gym Wednesday. (Payday!) and look forward to start running. I'm a 26 year veterinary nurse. I'm on my feet all day running around in ICU. There are some changes next week that are making me a bit anxious. (Did I mention I have anxiety? Cause I don't talk about it, I muddle through) it's not surprising my anxiety considering my idiot of an ex husband. My son starts sixth form , taking buses into Manchester. He's always been my baby and not really sure I'm handling this "let him go and be responsible young adult" thing well. And I'm enrolled in college for my higher education in advanced nursing diploma. So. I apologise this is soo long. But it really felt OK to write it. I think. So, my name is sharon and I'm 45 yrs old. I have a great teenage son and a loving/caring non abusive supportive husband. I'm on another weight loss plan and I'm really trying to complete this new chapter. Hope to make some friends and maybe lend some support too :)
Hi Sharon

I'm new here and learning my way around. I'm starting a different plan to you but weight loss is weight loss isn't it? I know it's really difficult to let go of things in the past that we feel have shaped us but sometimes we have to dig deep, ignore that nagging voice in our head and find the positives. You got away from your abusive ex, you found a loving, non-abusive hubby, your son is off to 6th form and is growing up and you're doing something for yourself by looking after your health - all great things!! Keep up the fantastic work cos (to quote the cheesy ad) you're worth it!
Thanks Jenny. Been doing ok with slimming world. Think I can start to see a difference? Some days it's easy others a struggle. How are you? X

I'm good thank you. glad you're doing ok, yes some days are easier than others. I find it tends to get easier the longer you've been doing it, guess it becomes a habit.

good luck x x
Hey :) I'm new too, I only joined yesterday. It was interesting to hear your story, I can relate on a lot of fronts, especially the killer sweet tooth, I'm now craving a big tub of chocolate frosting xD! 21lbs is an awesome loss :) last year I left my emotionally abusive girlfriend, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done and I really sympathise, I'm glad you've managed to find someone else and escape the pattern that so many of us fall into, moving from one messed-up relationship to another :). It sounds like you're in a much better place now, I'm so happy for you, and looking forward to following your weight loss journey ;) x
Hi Sharon and welcome on board. I'm new here too but the more the merrier;). You look like you are really focused and doing so well. I too have been on this weightloss/Weight gain merry go round for too long now and it's time I said stop and finally loose this extra weight for good.
Keep up the good work and keep us updated on your weightloss journey