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Slim in body, slim in mind...

Devon Dolce

1lb at a time!
#1
....apologies, this may be a very rambling post but over the last few weeks I've really started to doubt/ not believe myself! Let me explain...

...before last October when I started my SW journey and new lifestyle, I started a 'diet' every Monday, even trying SW before. This time obviously I'm in the right 'head space' to lose weight and last week I got into the 12s, somewhere I haven't been for ages and certainly a weight that OH has never seen me at! So now, I'm actually getting to a point where getting to target is really going to happen and not just a 'seems such a struggle, long way to go' type thing - I really am struggling at the moment to believe that I am actually buying smaller clothes and unbelievably, now own 2 bikinis! I've always been the 'big' girl in my group of friends, who have been nothing but supportive, whilst I've lost the weight, as have my amazing family and C but I just feel a little, well overwhelmed by it all - I've always been a confident person, but at my biggest doubted my own ability in everything I did - I guess the new DD is here to stay, and while the body is certainly getting there, my mind is still on catch-up!

Sorry, said I would ramble - anyone else know what I'm on about??!! xxx
 
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*Cupcake*

is working hard.....
#2
((((DD))))

Hon, I'm not there (yet) so I honestly can't advise from personal experience. But I've read from others that the 'view from within' takes a while to adjust once the 'view from outside' has changed!

In some ways I was the reverse - I couldn't *see* how fat I was getting because in my head I was still where I used to be. Something clicked one day (actually it was weighing myself and seeing the numbers :() and I realised how hideously fat I was and after lots of crying I got to it!

One day, I hope to be able to see myself accurately. I just let the clothes sizes I wear re-assure me at the moment (and no more pretending that sizes are getting smaller like I used to!).

Reassure yourself, from being in the 12's, the admiration and compliments you deservedly get from your friends and family, and the fabby clothes you are wearing.

And be so so proud of what you have achieved and continue to achieve. :) xx
 
#3
I'm still way overweight but after losing 2.5 stone, I look in the mirror and cant quite believe the reflection.

At my body pump class yesterday, I was looking at everyone in the mirror and decided that I finally looked like I fitted in as even though I was the biggest, I just looked big rather than fat.

Seeing a new self in the mirror takes some getting used to.

Mind you, rather conversely at nearly 18 stone, in my mind I was a size 18, depsite actually probably being a size 22 (jersey dresses have to lot to answer for!).:D
 

libra77

Silver Member
#4
I know exactly what you mean DD. I still see myself as being bigger than I actually am. In the queue for the changing room I constantly compare myself to the others in the line. Believing that I am so much bigger than any of them. But when I see the sizes on the hangers they are carrying I am actually several sizes smaller than them. I used to be a size 22 and I am now a 16, but I still think I am a 22!

It's like last night for example, I was watching Big Brother. Josie in the house mentioned she was a size 16 and I was shocked. Not because she was a size 16 but because I am the same size as her and view myself as a lot bigger than her. I wonder when my brain will catch up with it all! :confused:
 
#5
I struggle with this too, mostly because I am very tall so never get to the point where I can feel small. FE, last weekend I took my sisters shopping in Liverpool, and they went NUTS for Primark because they come from Sweden and they dont have shops like that there. My sister was buying items that were size 14/16 and I was looking wistfully and thinking "I cant wait till I can shop here". It only dawned on me after the event that actually, I CAN shop there now. I still think I am much bigger than I actually am. Partly because I still have a flobby stomach, and partly because I still dress in baggy stuff so dont pay much attention to things that actually "fit".
 

Devon Dolce

1lb at a time!
#6
Thanks for the replies all, love ya xxx
 

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
#7
May seem like a really lame suggestion, but have you tried the Paul McKenna 'change your life in 7 days' book and cd? I know it probably doesn't seem like it would help, but from personal experience, if you've been a 'big' person, it is very hard to see anything other than a big person when you look in the mirror, even when you're at goal (i was there once, many moons ago, so know how it feels) I felt like a complete plank when i first listened to the cd, and even got the giggles at times, but i've found listening to it over and over again has really helped with the way i see myself and i'm STILL a big girl, but thats not what i see when i look in the mirror anymore.
I'm not delusional - i know I'm still overweight, but thats not what i see when i look in the mirror anymore.
Maybe it would help you to see the 'real' you, not just the you you're used to seeing?!
Anyway, hope you get your head around the new you soon. xxxx (and well done for getting back on track)
 
#8
I know exactly what you are talking about !! and Libra77 .. I had exactly the same thought about Josie .. I certainly dont see mayself as that size !!!
I started off busting out of a 24 .. and now 7 months later I am a 16 ... smaller than I have been since I was about 13 .... and its weird !!!
I still 'feel' like a big woman , and still feel stupid in clothes shops .. thinking the staff must be wondering what I am doing there .. like I dont deserve their lovely clothes .. i have only just started actually looking at clothes in normal shops like primark and cannot believe I am a 'normal ' size .

I would say I am much more critical of my body now than I was when I was bigger , think its because I look in the mirror now and also because when I was big .. whatever I wore made me look fat .. now I know that some things make me look a bit fat , and some dont .. so it takes me ages to find something I feel comfortable in .. I dont want people looking at me and trying to work out if I am fat or not .. anyone know what I am rambling on about ???? lol
 
#9
Hi to everyone!

I just wanted to say I know what you all mean! I have dropped 2 dress sizes since January, and it is the thinest I have been since I can remember!!
I was in the shops the other day, and I was thinking, well if I am buying this size, what would the 'thin' people buy??
I really cant get my head around it!!!
 

IanH

Silver Member
#10
Our minds get used to us looking in one particular way - and although the mind may want us to change things, such as our weight - it still see's us as we were before. i've stuggled with this soooo many times over the months - and still do now. But slowly and surely - the mind is catching up and i'm sure yours will too.


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#11
Yep - i'm with you too!

My hardest thing to get my head around is acyually buying clothes. I take clothes into a change room now (pre-SW i never ever tried clothes on, I knew they wouldn't fit!), but i take in clothes & totally expect them not to fit, so when they do or are & this is the amazing bit!! to big!!!!!!!...... i'm really shocked!

I definatly don't see the new me as others do, but totally agree with an earlier reply, that I also never saw the old fatter me either!! :(
 

libra77

Silver Member
#12
Determinator, sounds like we are very alike!

I also am much more critical of my body since losing weight. This is something I logically struggle with because surely by losing all my excess fat I should be happier with it?!
 
#13
I had that thought about Josie too!!! I just asked my OH if I was bigger than her, and he said "of course not". To me, she looks much smaller than me!
I went to buy a pair of size 14 trousers yesterday (14 omg - I used to be a 26/28) and was waiting for the woman at the checkout to say "are you sure you've got the right size madam" or something like that. I also wandered into Miss Selfridge and felt so self conscious when I bought a skirt in the sale for my honeymoon. The assistant was blonde, pretty and very thin, and I wanted the floor to swallow me up! She was lovely tho, and I felt bad.
I think it takes us a long time for our brain to catch up with the physical changes, and I also think that if you have a tendency to be self critical, then you can continue to be self critical even after making positive changes e.g. I may be thinner, but I can only wear baggy stuff so my stomach / arms / back doesn't show.
Right I'm rambling now, lol. To end on a positive note, I think we're all fantastic for making such positive changes to our lives x
 


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