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Slowly losing it - the will


Silver Member
S: 19st13lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st0lb Loss: 4st4lb(21.51%)
Morning all , I dont know whats up with me of late - I seem to have lost my way ..
I just cant be bothered at the minute. I know ive lost 4 and half stone so far , but i just feel that its taking me ages to get here and at the minute i feel like im on a bit of elastic - up and down every week !!
3 weeks of STS and then a gain of 3lb !!
Im getting the munchies a lot more, I start of really good then i go down hill.

Ive got so many worrying things happening at the minute-
council wont fund shawn to go to special needs college
My heart is playing up , a lot worse than normal
The car is knackered and we really need it
I am so p***ed of at the minute- so much that a brick wall at the end of our road looks tempting . No one else seems to worry about all these little problems but me - and im the one that has to sort it all out
I didnt go to group last week cos i wasnt well and totally forgot to txt - so i got charged for the week FFS !!
I wont do that again !!
Cos shawn wont get funding to go to college - I get the impression from work that maybe i would change my day shift to nights so that i can look after him in the day and go to work at night - thus saving my boss having to work the night shift - cos she hates it . I just do not want to do this . I would rather slit my wrists.
At the minute i feel as if everything is just building up on me and i dont know which way to turn.

Then I have the added pain of my family-
None of them have spoken to me for 12 weeks then 4 weeks ago they spoke- all because my daughter was getting married- so they was all nicey, now the weddding is over they are back to not talking. But what they are doing is telling my niece that my daughter is calling her a dole waller and a bad mother , which is all untrue , but you know how it is - they believed them - so that caused friction.

My eldest brother has been going around saying he has cancer and has been saying this since october last year (hes a walking bloody miracle). This is untrue , but my mum believes him !!. She wont have it any other way !!. She wont believe me when i tell her he's lying. He is living with his current partner and has been txting my ex-sister in law. Trying to worm his way in with her !!. Both he and my SIL have been getting money of my mum to buy cars and my mum keeps telling me they have paid her back - i know shes lying but she wont give me any prove - i told her that they are no better than a tarmac gang. She just shrugs and doesnt care. I know i shouldnt bother cos she will never change but i really thought that things would be good as we grew up - you know go out to lunch together , go shopping , all sort of mother/daughter stuff , but she has no intention of any of that - she loves her sons too much and both me and my sister are crap to her. She even blames me for the reason why my sister doesnt speak to her- she says it is because i have fed her a load of lies !!
The truth if (and ive told my mum) is that my sister cant be dealing with the way my mum treats us and lets her sons treat her like s**t and she loves them.
I know some will say '' well forget about 'em''... but the thing is -. I have done it all my life- I keep going back in the hope that she will change, I get kicked in the teeth and i go back for more, sad i know but that is how i feel.
I feel a little better for getting that off my chest- sorry for piling it on you guys .
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Silver Member
S: 11st8lb C: 11st8lb G: 9st10lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
aww hun:patback:, can't give any useful advice on this but didn't want to not respond at all.
The reason I can't give any useful advice is that my family sounds very much like yours, it go so bad that many years ago I left home and have never spoken to some members since, it seems to suit them as they have never attempted to make contact with me either. It may sound harsh, but quite frankly after the first 6 months it got easier and, although I do still get upset occasionally about my missing family, its not half as bad as having the constant upset. I had to cut my family out of my life in order to have some peace, but I wouldn't ever advise anyone to do it, it's a very hard road and I may live to regret it. Who knows?
Didn't want to read and run Alice, I can't offer much advice but I can send you my best wishes and I really hope things get sorted out for you soon. x


Yummy Mummy! xx
S: 248lb C: 248lb BMI: 40 Loss: 0lb(0%)

Take each day at a time and remember we are all here for you to rant at and talk to x


Mad old Bat with Attitude
S: 14st5lb
You have so much on your plate at the mo. My heart goes out to you. Why don't you just aim for maintaining at the moment, and then when you're on more of an even keel you'll be able to concentrate on the plan again?
Come on here to vent as much as you want. We may not be able to do anything practical, but we're good listeners. xxx


is working hard.....
S: 20st1lb C: 14st12lb G: 12st13lb BMI: 28.2 Loss: 5st3lb(25.98%)

My heart goes out to you for having so much on your plate, and a seemingly never-ending and impossible path to follow.

But here are the positives I pick up from what you posted:

* You have succeeded in losing 4 1/2 stone. Thats AMAZING!

* You are a caring and devoted Mum, wanting the best for your children.

* You have a strong work ethic and a valuable sense of morality and what is right and wrong.

I think you have so much going for you - I know it may seem that the world is weighing down on you at times - but you are a strong and brave woman who has much to offer and give.

Try setting yourself some goals for the next few weeks months, and manage the immediate stuff. Shawn, your car, your job and MOST importantly your health (please see a Dr for a check up if your heart is bad). Leave the other family stuff for another day when the world seems a little brighter.

If you need practical help and advice with college places, work and your rights then do see the CAB - such fantastic and positive advice from very caring people - best of all free! Citizens Advice  - the charity for your community If you also need a kind, listening ear do talk to your GP as many surgeries have free counselling sessions available with a caring and supportive professional.

Good luck, take care, and I hope you can start to feel a little better soon. Remember we are always here xx

miss bee

Silver Member
S: 20st2lb
it all sounds extremely rough for you at the moment big big hugs to you:grouphugg:who knows what will happen with your family?sounds like there's not much you can do to change them,so you're probably better off leaving them to get on with it.they may see the error of their ways in time,they may not.
but it seems a shame for you to be having to take their sh*t on board when you've got so much else going on with your son and work etc.
i'd say concentrate on what deserves your focus most.
and that includes you!!
dont let miserable people put you off,they're probably a bit worried that you will get all your confidence back,and might like to see you fall,dont give them the satisfaction!you have done absolutely amazing with your weight loss!
i know it's hard,but i say keep going,having a little slip now and then wont hurt,but dont give up completely
cos i bet it's this kind of thing that has sent you off the rails before.
this time you've come to far,you will feel so much more confident and able to cope with the stresses of life if you are feeling good about yourself.
and you deserve to feel good about yourself!!
good luck to you babe,hope it all works out for you.:)


Silver Member
S: 11st12lb C: 11st10.9lb G: 9st4lb BMI: 26.6 Loss: 0st1.1lb(0.66%)
I'm rubbish with advice, especially when it comes to family.
My family are really, really close - however, over the past 3 years, there have been problems with my half-sister - accusations have been made by her, and caused a lot of problems, so now we barely hear from her. I still speak to her; she's always been more of a good-friend than a sister - but it's awkward. I used to let it all upset me, but now I see there's no point.

It's much easier to concentrate on those people you do have than those who don't want to be there. As much as you wish it was different, you can't let it get you down!

I hope everything get's sorted for you xxxx


I am one of the 63336
S: 20st3lb C: 20st3lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 44.3 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
(((( Alice ))))

Ever since I've been on this forum I've been able to see what a lovely, warm, hard working, caring lady you are. You really really have had a bum deal of things.

I don't know what to advise but am thinking of you xxx

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