So called friends ..........!!

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by loughpet, 25 September 2009 Social URL.

  1. loughpet

    loughpet Full Member

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    Ok people how many of you have been in this predictiment I wonder ....

    I have lost about 2stone threw ww one more to go with sw now . People I barely know have commented on my weight loss and I don't know about you lot but it gives me a boost when I get complimented !! However, a few people I would consider as fairly close friends have never mentioned me losing weight (despite looking me up and down at every opportunity !!) It makes me so mad not that I am fishing for compliments or anything I am not but for goodness sake I feel like saying 'Stop be so flipping jealous and just compliment me on a job well done ' !!

    Anyone else had this prob ??
     
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  3. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    I actually have more of a problem with people complimenting me, it's nice and all but now it's like I can't even go up the shop without someone mentioning it. I feel like putting a sign up saying "Not done yet!"
     
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  4. gill g

    gill g Full Member

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    i have had this too, i dont fish for compliments but absoultly love to get them! i have had lots of people look me up and down when i have lost weight and these people have actually made me feel uncomfortable, how sad is that. all i can say is carry on doing what you are doing and well done on your weight loss.
     
  5. chunky-monkey77

    chunky-monkey77 i seriously swear i am up 2 no good !

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    they are just jealous that you have the will power to lose weight . a friend of mine asks me the day after wi how i did . if i said i put on she would say something like "congratulations" and good for you but if i lost the reaction would be totally differnt so now i say nothing and dont say if i lose or gain .
     
  6. littlemiss

    littlemiss Silver Member

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    Hey,

    Yeah definately!!

    I have experienced this alot too. I think friends rely on us being overweight as it makes them more comfortable.

    I've found that alot of people have asked what I used to weigh, which is mortifying. I was asked this by a workmate - infront of everyone, I nearly died.

    Also the other day, was looking through photo's taken last week, and I thought I looked fat, and I said, god I look big there, she said, well at least you don't look as bad as you did in the xmas pics! (pre diet)

    :)
     
  7. eternity

    eternity Gold Member

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    I don't like people mentioning my weight loss and if they do I change the subject as soon as I politely can.
    It's too much pressure for people to keep on about it. I wouldn't expect them to comment if I put weight on so I don't mind if they don't comment that I've lost.
    I have told my OH from the beginning not to ask how I'm doing or say anything although he now says that my boobs and bottom are getting too small. I guess I can cope with that!
     
  8. loughpet

    loughpet Full Member

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    It's really is a sad situation I am proud not to be a '*****' when it comes to giving people compliments and saying well done but believe me there is some really jealous people out there. Glad I can come on here for praise, reasurance, advice and so much more xx
     
  9. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    I think a lot of people just dont feel comfortable in commenting. To be honest, Im in that catagory too, unless the weight loss is REALLY unmissable I tend not to mention it, partly because Im uncomfortable with constant comments about my weight loss too.

    When people didnt comment on my initial losses I never saw it as jealousy, some people just dont think to say it to you, but they may say it to other people and you can bet they notice. My sister in law is a case in point... never once has she commented on how much Ive lost but her and my brother have talked about it and shes told loads of her pals. Shes just not a 'complimentary' type person. Dont take it personally and dont assume theyre jealous, could be one of many things that stops them
     
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  10. Brightonrosie

    Brightonrosie I want to be fitter again

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    I am not normally aware of someone's size but I am aware if their eye's aren't smiling. I will always comment when someone looks good but do not generalise as to why which then gives them the opportunity to say that they have lost weight or got a new outfit on or have got a new man etc. People discuss lots of things and if weight has never been an issue for them they would maybe not see it as an important thing to mention. Takeheart and compliment yourself daily in the mirror each time you pass. "Looking good girl" xx
     
  11. avisk

    avisk xx

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    Some people are just unobservant. I'm always being told off for not noticing new glasses, or hairdos, or whatever. And then again, some people were brought up not to make personal remarks!!

    Don't take offence - it probably isn't intended that way.
     
  12. tubbiesgirl

    tubbiesgirl Full Member

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    Some people do make personal remarks, I get upset by people commenting on me being over weight.. I usually make some sarcastic reply if i over hear them 'I may be fat, but I am not deaf and I am not rude about people who I dont know' or who I know actually!! even if I have made a reply it stil hurts me - I know I am fat, I see it every day when I look in a mirror! but now I am doing something about it for me..not for anyone else, I am doing this so I can see my grand-daughter grow up she is 8 months old and I dont want her to loose her Nanna from a weight related health issue.Only I can loose the weight I am in charge of what I eat and when I eat it, so now I am in charge watch this space! I havent lost enough for people to notice outside of group yet, I have a long way to go, I think we should try and remember why we are doing this, think positive and ignore the ignorant!
     
  13. Cobweb

    Cobweb Full Member

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    I think some people are sensitive about bringing the weightloss up in case you might take it as an "oooh so you're saying I was fat before?" thing, and others as mentioned don't notice. I think what is worse and i had this in the past is people saying, oh don't lose any more weight when you are still clinically obese... Why? cos you think if I get thinner I am gonna steal your spotlight? or not be me anymore?
     
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  14. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    Couldn't agree more

    I think to conclude that your good friends not commenting must mean they are jealous is a bit unfair. I wouldn't expect someone to comment on my size when I was gaining weight so why should it be different if I am losing. It actaually makes me uncomfortable as it is such a personal issue to me. I wouldn't dream of saying "your spots are clearing up" or "You seem to have quit the drink at last" as these are equally personal issues.

    Maybe your friends are actually being incredibly sensitive?
    x
     
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  15. Brightonrosie

    Brightonrosie I want to be fitter again

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    Very wise words x
     
  16. Scarlet Daisy

    Scarlet Daisy Hungry For Life

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    I'm starting to get remarks like "Be careful - Don't go too far!"

    Yeah, because I weight just under 12st now... So obviously I'm at Death's door. :sigh:

    What are people LIKE?
     
  17. Vixxster

    Vixxster Nojo on the YoYo

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    Translation: "Be careful, you'll be thinner than me soon!!"
     
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  19. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

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    I got a comment on this line the other day! You won't lose too much will you? Oh like I may even end up as a size 14? Grrrrr!
     
  20. Ossireo

    Ossireo Full Member

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    My mu when she lost with SW over 8 years ago use to have similar "dont lose any more" comments "you are looking emaciated" one person actually said to her! I use to get quite upset at people as it did use to bother her a bit, she was about 11st 11lbs at 5ft 8in in Size 12/14's so just within a healthy BMI!

    I always believed it was due to people knowing you and getting use to you being "fat" they just think the change is too much of a shock rather than thinking what is actually healthy for you!
     
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