So it's been 6 days since I last posted here and...
I've lost the plot.

Big time. Ever since I went out for that blo*dy meal. I wish I hadn't eaten anything now. I thought I'd be okay, didn't eat any carbs. But the meal out just set off this whole chain reaction. My Dad and I have had a fairly rocky relationship in recent years and although the evening went well, just seeing him still stirred up feelings that I thought were over. It's a long and complicated history and I won't go into it here, I've even had counselling for it, if anyone's wondering whether I need help. I just think it's a time thing.
I ended up eating chicken and then ham on Saturday night, managed to sole source on Sunday but then spoilt it by drinking three quarters of a bottle of wine. I got very tiddly and felt awful on Monday. So feeling awful, I ate, in an attempt to feel better enough to get some revision done. As I've mentioned before, I've got an exam coming up and I really don't feel at all ready for it.
And now--well now, we've got a friend coming to stay for the weekend, and I know damned well that I'm going to have a tough time getting back to CD while everyone around me's eating pizza and drinking wine.
So much for zero tolerance, eh?
I don't really know what to do. Logic suggests that I just go with it, for the weekend. Eat with the others and then get back to CD on Monday. But then, I don't know whether that's logic, or whether it's just one of those chatterboxes that the ex Lighter Life people talk about. See, I've got a feeling that if I try to SS, I'll end up having three packs--and then bingeing on top of them.
Why does it always have to be famine or feast? Why is it that I can be 100% perfect on sole source for days on end, but that when I fall off the wagon, I have to eat everything in sight, even if I don't really want it? What kind of idiot am I? I'm supposed to be an intelligent woman, for heaven's sake.
Oh well, enough of my ramblings. Suffice to say, the ticker below isn't exactly accurate right now. Add about 7 pounds to it (which yes, I know is all glycogen and water mostly--but it won't be if I carry on like this).
Anyone got any advice? I could sure use some right now...