splitting up from husband - must stay strong on diet!!

[dazeddixie]

So, it turns out my husband likes to chat to other women online!! Its the second time in 4 months I have caught him. He says it was purely innocent this time (it wasnt last time!), but he swore he wouldnt do it again so I cant trust him anymore. The marriage has been going downhill for a while, we have turned into friends rather than partners. I desperately want to save the marriage for the sake of our 1 year old daughter, but I dont know if I can bring myself to do it.

Anyway, I am only on week 3 of the diet. I lost 17lb in first two weeks! Normally I cope with stress by reaching for food and alcohol but I am trying desperately to stick to this. Its very hard though :-(

Any motivational tips would be appreciated!

 

[OnlyWannaBeA16]

Oh babe, that's hard. If you want to make it work do it for you and your husband, not for your child. As long as she sees her daddy regularly she will be ok. I left the father to my 2 and they see him every Saturday and every other overnight. It was hard at the beginning but me and him have a better relationship now, but we do get confussed sometimes and think we are still together.
Stay strong with the diet, you've done the hard bit the first few days. Food will not help, unless you eat and stick to a diet, you might gain your weight back on xxx
Rather than eating try and keep yourself busy
I wish you all the luck in the world, the strength you need and both my shoulders to cry on xxxx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S using MiniMins

 

[dazeddixie]

Thank you for your lovely message I am being strong on the diet, lost another 5lb this week. I have found it desperately hard but I am doing this for me and my daughter, and if I am going to be by myself then I need to be the healthiest I can be.

Things are very strained at home. We are going to counselling tonight so see what that brings. I definitely think you are right though and I cant stay together for the sake of my daughter.

I hope your diet is going well xx

 

[OnlyWannaBeA16]

So far so good, day 5 today, mouth taste terrible.
Counselling sound like a good idea, that way you know you are both trying xx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S using MiniMins

 

[Dia]

As a guy, I can relate to this, and I'll just give it to you from a guys perspective.

I just got out of a serious 5 year relationship, and I will admit I did this towards the end of the relationship. I personally felt I wasn't getting the love and validation from my partner, and had to seek it elsewhere. I'm not the type who would ever cheat, so online was the only way that felt "clean". It's not that I wanted to get my rocks off with someone else, I just needed someone to tell me what I wanted to hear. Maybe your husband is feeling the same way? Especially as he's not the center of attention anymore since you've had your baby. And trust me, men like to be the centre attention. All I know is, if I had got those things from my ex-girlfriend, we'd still be together, and probably as happy as ever.

Just my two cents, and I wish you the best of luck whatever happens.

Chris x

 

[dazeddixie]

Day 5 - hopefully thats over the worst bit. My mouth tastes awful sometimes and I use the retardex mouth spray as you can get it in a little pump spray that is great to keep in your handbag and is super powerful!

Thanks for your 2 cents Chris. There is probably some truth in that in this case, but I will always put my daughter first before anyone or anything. We will see what happens though. Thanks x

 

[Karen]

Good luck with counselling and well done for keeping on plan. I hope it all turns out ok for you. xx

 

[moomoo13]

Well done for sticking with it through such a difficult time.
I think most people on here can relate to the fact that in times of distress we turn to food alcohol etc and that is exactly why we are here now.
I hope you can work things out x

 

[DustQueen]

Just wanted to post and say I hope things work out for you whatever you choose. Counselling is a very sensible decision, hope you get what you need from it.

 

[dazeddixie]

Thanks for the messages. We are trying to work things out, just taking one day at a time.

Still staying strong on the diet I am 1lb off losing 2stone in 4 weeks

x

 

[OnlyWannaBeA16]

Well done dazeddixie 2 st in 4 weeks xx fingers crossed for everything else xx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S using MiniMins

 

[DustQueen]

Thanks for the messages. We are trying to work things out, just taking one day at a time.

Still staying strong on the diet I am 1lb off losing 2stone in 4 weeks

x

Really well done for sticking to it through all this x you really really deserve to do well x

 

[charlie's~mummy]

Aww Hun big hugs for you and a big WELL DONE!! staying on track through all that is amazing I hope you work things out for you xx

 

[angel-missy]

Well done on your amazing weight loss.
I do feel for you and hope you can sort things out with your husband. It must be devastating for you to find out something like that. Just have to say though that to some extent I agree with Chris, he probably feels a bit 2nd place now and was just looking for a bit of an ego boost. This is much more a symptom of something being wrong than the cause of the problem. I wish you all the best in deciding whether you can work things out or if you're better off splitting. I split with my husband almost 6 years ago and the kids haven't suffered too badly - it was much worse for them while we were together and unhappy.
Whatever happens you owe it to yourself to stick with the diet. Your self esteem has taken a knock and it will really help you feel better Reaching for the food will just make you feel more down about everything.Take care hon xxx

 

[Tibbytoots]

You ok?

Just adding my tuppence worth - well done -you have got some genuine support and advice here - love and a hug Elaine x

 

[Kezmetics70]

Hope you are ok chic?

 

[Ballyhea65]

Stay strong. Whatever happens will be for the best.
Fantastic loss, keep it up. Believe me if you give up you will feel so bad, stick at it and you will be the person you want to be, who will be strong and healthy for your little girl. X

 

[Motty]

My greatest weightless yet has to be the day I got rid of 13stone of useless man (not saying they are all useless) now every loss is fantastic and I am smiling like a super model lol

 

[Juno*]

Well done on the weightloss and I really hope that you and your partner work out what is best for you both.

Have to say, I disagree with Chris - we are responsible for our own actions. No-one is faultless in a relationship, but the defence of 'maybe if i'd got more attention I wouldn't have done this/that' doesn't fly with me.