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starting..again. has to be for good this time!!

hiiiii, so basically ive been dieting for ages now and getting nowhere. im about a stone and a half above my ideal/goal weight and although ive been trying to lose it ive just kept gaining! ive tried weightwatchers a couple of times but ended up binging and using up all my weeklies too soon and then failing. but i'm so determined now, because something HAS to change. this extra weight has been destroying my life for far too long, I have no confidence, do not fit into my clothes, and have lost all my friends as I never go out because i feel too fat compared to them, so i have no social life. also i am supposed to be going on holiday in 3 months. I simply HAVE to do this. i'm sick of starting a new diet/healthy eating plan, only to fail half way through, go back to my old ways and end up heavier then i started. i do actually like eating healthy, my main problem i need to tackle is grazing/binging out of boredom/lonliness. i'm an 18 year old student and should be out having fun but until i lose this unwelcome flab i do not have the confidence to go out and make friends.
ANYWAY, sorry for the long intro lol. i am starting tommorow, i do keep a written private diary also but will additionally write it on here to be accountable.

support would be very welcome!!
thankss xx
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x It's my year to shine x
Good luck - sometimes it's just the mindframe you're in at the time, and no matter how hard you try, starting a new eating plan just doesn't work..

I really hope this helps with your confidence :) And once you're feeling happier within yourself, hopefully you'll feel more confident to get out there and have some fun!

You seem really determined, so really want to wish you all the best, look forward to reading your diary xx
Right what I am going to do is plan out my food the day before, and if anything changes on the day I will edit it, but it shouldn't really change.

Monday 25th April 2011:
Breakfast: Porridge with honey and chopped banana (7)
Lunch: Wholemeal tuna and sweetcorn sandwich (8)
Dinner: Couscous salad made from tomato and herb couscous, kidney beans, gouda cheese, salad leaves and tomato (12)
Snack: Mixed summer berries with shape zero fat strawberry yoghurt (2)
Drinks: Pepsi max, water
Total: 29/29
Weekly points used: 0/49
Exercise: Not sure yet (will edit tommorow)
Good luck, you sound very in the zone right now and the forward planning is an excellent idea. I so hope you succeed, you are only 18 and should be out there enjoying your life, as someone who spent over half of my 43 years been fat and missing out on so much with my children i wish you the very best sweetheart x
thank you very much :) x

hmmmm so embarassed to say I got off to a bad start yesterday as I was stuck at home bored, and ended up just eating for the sake of it, used up a lot of my weekly points, dont even want to say how many right now but I am keeping track. However, I didn't say "oh its ok I'll start tommorow" like I always seem to, and I'm carrying on, and I'm so determined not to mess up this time! It helps that I'm back at college now, so not stuck at home as much.
Anyway today was okayish but not great, not very healthy!

Tuesday 26th April:
-Porridge with honey and strawberries (7)
-Banana (0)
-2 cadburys mini rolls (7)
-Munchies ice cream bar (4)
-Apple (0)
-Pasta, tuna, mozzerella, light mayo, sweetcorn, salad leaves, cherry tomatoes (13)
-Pepsi max
Total: 31
Weeklies used today: 2
Exercise: Walking, I've been too knackered today to do anything else!

I'm off to look at everyone elses food diaries now! :)
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Wednesday 27th April 2011:

Breakfast (7): An apple, a banana, low fat natural yoghurt with honey, piece of malted grain toast with flora light spread.

Lunch (7): Wholemeal ham & cucumber sandwich.

Dinner (9): Homemade veggie chilli, low fat natural yoghurt and reduced fat cheese.

Snacks (14!): Mixed summer berries with strawberry shape yoghurt, packet of sweet chilli velvet crunch crisps, raspberry shape yoghurt, 10 cherry tomatoes, twix.

Drinks: Water, diet pepsi, pepsi max.

Total: 37

Exercise: So far walking. Will hopefully do some skipping later though.

And I just have to say.....I highly recommend the veggie chilli I had! It was a huge portion, nice and filling and tasty and healthy too. I mixed chopped tomatoes, kidney beans, courgette, green pepper, red onion, tomato and chilli powder together and cooked, then right before serving I mixed in low fat natural yoghurt and reduced fat cheese..so nice!

UPDATE: grr just used 8 of my weekly points on a twix. wasnt even worth it but i couldnt resist it! also had 10 cherry tomatoes. evening is one of the hardest times for me not to snack, because im so bored. at least i havent failed i guess.
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today was an absolute bloody diaster :sigh::cry: feeling pretty hopeless at the moment. it was partly emotional eating i guess as i got rejected from uni and im just feeling so lonely, fat and unattractive. suffice to say i went way over points. im gutted. but cant give up altogether, will just carry on tommorow and pretend today didnt happen. i guess thats all i can do. i dont even know anymore, its like im so used to binging, i just dont know how to stop it. :cry: anyway. hopefully the next few days will be more positive posts.
Hi Missmarie,

I read your intro and thought- this is me! I know where you're coming from. I've been through that awful cycle too many times to count. You're right you can't give up altogether! You can do this! But don't forget it - think about what you were feeling that made you eat, then how you felt afterwards? Pretty disgusted right? Hold on to that memory and call on it next time you have that same binge reflex and eventually you can ditch that binge habit I know you can. I struggle with it to, and the hardest thing I find is moving on and not giving in to that 'oh well, may as well eat the entire fridge' feeling.
Tomorrow is a new day! and you can make it an excellent one!
thank you so much qtnutmeg :) that really helped. i'm not giving up, will carry on, i'm sure we will both do this eventually :)
watched the royal wedding today, ah kate looked lovely.
feeling bit down, as i've realized that i really have lost all my friends, even my best friend who ive been best friends for ages with, its my fault i know as i never go out and never see her, always make excuses, i mean i've still got her 18th birthday present at mine and her birthday was a fair few weeks ago :L its so annoying that this extra weight has ruined so much in my life but i guess maybe once i lose it i can make new friends and have a proper social life again.
anyway, back on the wagon today, despite an awful day yesterday i'm not giving up because if i do i will never ever get to be happy.

Friday 29th April 2011:

Breakfast: 2 slices melon, a banana, 2 weetabix with hot skimmed milk and sultanas (6)

Lunch: Cheese salad & natural yoghurt wrap, packet of rice cake crisps (10)

Dinner: (fried in 1 cal spray) 2 low fat sausages, 1 fried egg, mushrooms, tomato, baked beans (11)

Snacks: Shape fruits of the forest yoghurt (2) 6 cherry tomatoes.

Drinks: Pepsi max

Total: 29

Exercise: Skipping rope :) Little bit on exercise bike.
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Hi i just read your initial post about starting again. i feel the exact same but have about three stone to shed. It's so hard to keep motivated isn't it!? I just thought it'd reply and say keep going you've encouraged me to try again and hopefully i can stick with it this time because I'm just so sick of losing and gaining.:)

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