Steps In The Right Direction...86.6lbs Lost Fasting

Gosh what a great loss which great but not in good circumstances - u did really well to stay on plan - emotional times can send us to comfort food can't they?
Feel for u at the moment - ur doing well to keep busy - take care of u - here's a hug .............:bighug:
 
Hello ali. You have done so well this week. it has been such a tough week for you. I hope you and your Oh were able to communicate and sort things out. Thinking of you. Take care.
 
Well it would appear I've lost an additional 14 odd stone this week....OH is sticking to his guns so I've asked him to move out permanently. Apparently I'm overreacting and being a drama queen but I don't think I am. He has always been a bit arrogant and blunt but underneath is loving and well meaning...or so I thought. We came back from a lovely weekend away last weekend and I was saying how nice it had been when I was unpacking and said we should do it more often and he said that if I played my cards right and kept losing weight and got to target maybe next Valentine's Day he would take me away again and a proposal might be on the cards. So I said why did I have to get to target to "earn" a proposal from him? And he said he was going to propose this year but he's talked to his mum and they had both agreed that wedding photos are something you want to show off and look back on proudly and you can't do that...and I'm quoting his actual words...with a fat bride in the centre of them. He told me I should use this as an incentive to stay on track and finally get there this time. To say I was hurt and angry was an understatement so I replied and who's to say I'd say yes if you asked anyway? And his answer was for me the final nail in the coffin....he looked me up and down and looked me in the eye and laughed and said well there's hardly a queue of men waiting round the block for you. So I am supposed to be grateful it would seem that he would do me the honour of taking a burden like me on. Well I don't think so. I'd rather be on my own than with someone who thought they were doing me some kind of favour by being with me. He is unrepentant and says it's what he thinks so why should he apologise and that I'm taking it all the wrong way. Am I? Whatever weight I am, I am the same person. I never realised he was so shallow. Like I say he can rub people up the wrong way and be a bit of a twat but I thought we had something more than what we obviously had. I'm just glad he moved into my house and the break up will be easy as we had a legal agreement drawn up (his mother's idea to protect her little boy!) when he moved in and all we need to do is sort the stuff we bought together. That's fine on the practical side but emotionally today I'm feeling like a real idiot for not realising what he was really like sooner. And him saying that if it's something he genuinely feels he has a right to say it is all good and well but how many people just go around saying whatever they feel and to hell with the consequences or hurt they cause. Even on Minis I read posts from all different sections and some make me mad, sad and at times I'm itching to say something but I don't because being too vocal with your opinions isn't always a good idea. I'm of the "if you haven't got something nice to say then don't say anything at all" brigade. Why would you knowingly hurt someone? Long rambly post but I must admit I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today as I feel like a complete fool.
 
upndown said:
Gosh what a great loss which great but not in good circumstances - u did really well to stay on plan - emotional times can send us to comfort food can't they?
Feel for u at the moment - ur doing well to keep busy - take care of u - here's a hug .............:bighug:
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Thanks upndown xx I really do appreciate the support you give me on here, you always have something positive to say and it helps make a difference thank you :)

mo53 said:
Hello ali. You have done so well this week. it has been such a tough week for you. I hope you and your Oh were able to communicate and sort things out. Thinking of you. Take care.
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Thanks for your kind words mo it means a lot x

Willeatanything said:
Hi Ali subscribing xxx

Sent from my HTC One X using MiniMins.com mobile app
Click to expand...

Welcome!
 
Hello Ali. Ive just read your long post explaining your break up and I can see exactly why, after a week apart, you were still hurt and angry. Your ex sounds very cruel with his comments . He said the kind of things that I know I couldn't forgive or forget in your place. If he really loved you he would want to marry you and have a wonderful day full stop. Never mind the target!!!

Hope you are ok. Thinking of you.
 
I am absolutely livid on your behalf, sounds as though you have made a sound decision. The nerve of him thinking he was doing you the favour!! And only basically if you were a good girl you might get a proposal. At least you are set legally and can take some breathing space and have a good think, a good cry and give yourself time to build your confidence up again.
REALLY well done on sticking to plan in the midst of it all, maybe he has done you a favour after all by giving you extra incentive??
Keep up the good work, you're amazing.

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
 
Just wanted to say i am so so sorry for you... I am tear dropping... We sometimes tell ourselves we are fat, but i believe nobody should remind us. Its hurtful to hear it. From a teenager i have found myself crying over this times and times again... I am nearly 33 with 2 beautiful children and just last week my hubby said something that made me burst into tears in front of him...for him was just a joke and was so shocked of my outburst. He quickly huged me and apilogised. I know he loves me. He just never realised how sensitive i am about my weight... You now gave me even more motivation to continue the journey i started. I am doing it fo me, but i want all unties uncles in laws grand parents cousins friends collegues and strangers to see i can be slim too
 
I'm also outraged on your behalf! He sounds like an arrogant Mummy's boy, how dare he! I am so very pleased that you told him where to go with his pompous condescending attitude! He and his mother will one day realise what he has lost but it will be too late.

Hugs from me, and total respect for standing up for yourself. I would have done the same in your position!

And well done for sticking to plan through it all, don't let the b******s get you down!

Xxx

Sent from my GT-N7100 using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Omg Ali,
just joined the juddd buds yesterday and read some of your diary.

I actually cannot believe your OH even thought that, let alone said it. What a low life. my heart goes out to you, how determined must that make you feel to actually get to target and have a hot man on your arm as you bump into him!!

Chin up Ali, your doing great. Xxxx
 
You did good! I only lost 0.25lb this week - so low it won't even let me register it on here - but I know I've done it lol and every bit helps towards the main goal. Keep going!
 
Thanks everyone for the kind words...much appreciated. :) Still feel like a complete fool but I know time will sort things out. Have spent the evening trying to work out what things are his and what things we bought together that need to get decided on who keeps them. And from the text messages he's been sending tonight he'll be lucky if I don't throw his stuff out with the rubbish. He seems to think he can win me round by repeatedly telling me what an idiot I am for doing this....don't think insults are the recommended way to say sorry. And I've just had 2 crumpets with maple syrup and my fast day has already started :eek: Don't know how this weeks food is going to go will just do my best and keep plodding on!
 
ali165 said:
Well it would appear I've lost an additional 14 odd stone this week....OH is sticking to his guns so I've asked him to move out permanently. Apparently I'm overreacting and being a drama queen but I don't think I am. He has always been a bit arrogant and blunt but underneath is loving and well meaning...or so I thought. We came back from a lovely weekend away last weekend and I was saying how nice it had been when I was unpacking and said we should do it more often and he said that if I played my cards right and kept losing weight and got to target maybe next Valentine's Day he would take me away again and a proposal might be on the cards. So I said why did I have to get to target to "earn" a proposal from him? And he said he was going to propose this year but he's talked to his mum and they had both agreed that wedding photos are something you want to show off and look back on proudly and you can't do that...and I'm quoting his actual words...with a fat bride in the centre of them. He told me I should use this as an incentive to stay on track and finally get there this time. To say I was hurt and angry was an understatement so I replied and who's to say I'd say yes if you asked anyway? And his answer was for me the final nail in the coffin....he looked me up and down and looked me in the eye and laughed and said well there's hardly a queue of men waiting round the block for you. So I am supposed to be grateful it would seem that he would do me the honour of taking a burden like me on. Well I don't think so. I'd rather be on my own than with someone who thought they were doing me some kind of favour by being with me. He is unrepentant and says it's what he thinks so why should he apologise and that I'm taking it all the wrong way. Am I? Whatever weight I am, I am the same person. I never realised he was so shallow. Like I say he can rub people up the wrong way and be a bit of a twat but I thought we had something more than what we obviously had. I'm just glad he moved into my house and the break up will be easy as we had a legal agreement drawn up (his mother's idea to protect her little boy!) when he moved in and all we need to do is sort the stuff we bought together. That's fine on the practical side but emotionally today I'm feeling like a real idiot for not realising what he was really like sooner. And him saying that if it's something he genuinely feels he has a right to say it is all good and well but how many people just go around saying whatever they feel and to hell with the consequences or hurt they cause. Even on Minis I read posts from all different sections and some make me mad, sad and at times I'm itching to say something but I don't because being too vocal with your opinions isn't always a good idea. I'm of the "if you haven't got something nice to say then don't say anything at all" brigade. Why would you knowingly hurt someone? Long rambly post but I must admit I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today as I feel like a complete fool.
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Oh Ali - I'm really shocked - don't really know what to say - I'm reeling from just reading that so I can't imagine how ur feeling - but presume that cos u've posted that painful stuff and from what I gather from ur previous posts - u wd like some feedback.

Obviously, we're all here to support u - but I'm concerned cos our communication is 'blind' and we're not having a direct conversation I might 'say' something insensitive - if I do - hope u'll realise that's the opposite of my intention.

Firstly, I've think u've reacted really well - u asked him to leave and now asked him to move out (thank goodness for the legal doc) and I hope that goes as well as it can.

I agree that no relationship can continue on that basis. Also as u say - none of us shd have to 'earn' a proposal - it also beggars belief that he'd had a discussion with his mother about such an intimate subject.

It wd be easy to say now that u've had a lucky escape from him and his mother but that's not for now cos ur understandably alternately between hurt and anger.

He's a loser not just for how he's treated u but he'll also come to regret that he's lost u.

Altho' I don't know u in the real sense of the word - but u'll know that u can read a lot about a person from their posts and I'd say ur intelligent, honest, sincere, sensible, measured and lovely - so pls don't call urself a fool or any other derogative term - it can affect ur self confidence (I say that from bitter experience).

As u say whatever size and shape we are and however much that may change we're still the same underneath. So as well as ur ex showing how ignorant, unkind and arrogant he is I'd say he's very shallow and disloyal too (in discussing u in that way to his Mum). You deserve better than that Ali.

Is it realistic to suggest u delete his txts without reading then - I know I cdn't - or wd it be too much hassle to change ur no.?

I'm going away for a few days 2moro - but will be thinking of u and sending positive vibes - not sure I'll be able to sign in here but will catch up with u on Weds eve.

Ur diet will be the last thing on ur mind - but again from experience of stuffing myself with
rubbish that it just made me feel crap - but u do what u thinks best - loads of support here - take carex
 
Omg what a complete and utter Twat. If your in a loving relationship with someone you wouldn't dream of being so hurtful even if you thought they needed a kick up the bum. But you have Been proactively losing weight and doing fantastic as well. I was inspired by your diary to get going again myself. You inspired me!!!!
If my hubby said something like that to me I would be totally devastated. Not that he would because even if he thought it he has respect for me. :-( you are so worth more than what he's got to offer you. I'm so angry with him right now I would love to say what I really think. Arrgghhh

Sent from my HTC One X using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Well I haven't managed to get out of my pyjamas the last two days but have managed to surprisingly keep a grip on calories. Haven't fasted this week yet but my calories have been 2000ish a day but maybe not the most balanced of meals...8 mini babybel lights for lunch :rolleyes: Plan on fasting tomorrow and Friday and will see what the scales say again on Saturday. OH is coming with a van to pick up his stuff at the weekend. He emailed me a list of what he wants from the stuff we bought together...basically everything. This is where having a cohabitation agreement (though it seemed highly unromantic and pessimistic at the time) is worth its weight in gold. I am opting to pay him half of what we bought together and keep everything...as per our agreement :D He said he feels I "owe him" as he is the one moving out...the agreement was your idea sonny so you'll just need to suck it up as I'm sticking to it. My brother is coming for the weekend for some moral support while ex OH is here. One thing that makes me sad is how many people think it's ok to tell me how much they didn't like ex OH right from the start just because we've now broken up...do they think that's helpful? Just makes me feel like I've been a blinkered numpty for years only seeing the good.

Haven't had the chance to catch up on diaries but will tomorrow. Nice to see some new people joining this section. I must say that on Minis as a whole there are some random posts and "unique" people and quite a few diaries I don't understand....but I guess the diversity is what makes it so interesting. Even though I love fasting I like to read posts from all over as you can learn so much from other people's experiences. Am hoping once the weekend is over I'll be a bit more positive and back to weight loss tales and less drama.
 
Hello ali. you have done amazingly well to keep just about on track. you really are going through it. The weekend will be hard so it is great you will have your brother with you. Thinking of you.
 
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