Miss_Kassy
Silver Member
Hi every one, I didnt know where else to turn so thought I would come here to you guys and have a bit of a rant to see if it makes me feel better...
I'm really struggeling to start a diet and am stuck in this vicious cycle of eating and drinking vodka every night to numb my pain.
I'm 29 years old and should be out with my friends enjoying myself but my self esteem and confidence is so low due to my weight gain I cant face anything. I just manage to get out of bed and to work on a morning but as soon as I get home I lock that door, drink myself into an oblivion, cry my eyes out and binge eat.
I'm plauged with memories of how I used to be (a model, size 8, attractive and outgoing, life and soul of the party) and I feel like that person was never me. Where have I gone?
I am desperatley unhappy and everyday and night I tell myself I will try harder but I cant do it. Food and drink is my escape from my life and body.
Does anyone get what I'm going through? I feel so alone. My friends don't understand.
I have never had a healthy association with food. Yes I was very slim from age of 17 until two tears ago but that was down to obsessive diets and bulemia, etc, etc. Now at age of 29 I am 15.2 stone (5ft 6in). I know everyone is looking at me thinking haha, look how fat she got. She used to me a model - now look at her!
I dont know if any of what I have written here makes sense as my head is all over the place. I'm on my break at work. I wish I had a computer at home sop I could talk to people who understand on a night, when I am worse and cry uncontrolably.
I'm so lost and so sad and can't take this much longer.
Any thoughts and insperational ideas and advice would be much appreciated.
Love Karen xxxxx
I'm really struggeling to start a diet and am stuck in this vicious cycle of eating and drinking vodka every night to numb my pain.
I'm 29 years old and should be out with my friends enjoying myself but my self esteem and confidence is so low due to my weight gain I cant face anything. I just manage to get out of bed and to work on a morning but as soon as I get home I lock that door, drink myself into an oblivion, cry my eyes out and binge eat.
I'm plauged with memories of how I used to be (a model, size 8, attractive and outgoing, life and soul of the party) and I feel like that person was never me. Where have I gone?
I am desperatley unhappy and everyday and night I tell myself I will try harder but I cant do it. Food and drink is my escape from my life and body.
Does anyone get what I'm going through? I feel so alone. My friends don't understand.
I have never had a healthy association with food. Yes I was very slim from age of 17 until two tears ago but that was down to obsessive diets and bulemia, etc, etc. Now at age of 29 I am 15.2 stone (5ft 6in). I know everyone is looking at me thinking haha, look how fat she got. She used to me a model - now look at her!
I dont know if any of what I have written here makes sense as my head is all over the place. I'm on my break at work. I wish I had a computer at home sop I could talk to people who understand on a night, when I am worse and cry uncontrolably.
I'm so lost and so sad and can't take this much longer.
Any thoughts and insperational ideas and advice would be much appreciated.
Love Karen xxxxx