Struggling- christmas past

[cokes]

I feel very sad at the moment and I want to be able to feel sad and not break my diet as I have always turned to food for comfort.
This time last year I was pregnant. We told our families on christmas day about it and everyone was thrilled. I miscarried late January. So this christmas all I can think about is that I should have a baby now and how good last christmas was and I want to cry. I need comfort but Im not very good at talking to people, I find that people have the attitude that it was ages ago and I should just move on. They don't understand how wanted the baby was, we had been trying for 2 years, and were so excited we had started buying things and even moved the spare bed out of what would have been the baby's room. I know that nothing can change what happened and I will just grin and bear all of the frivolity at christmas even tho I feel like a grouch. In the interests of not sabotaging my diet, what do other people do when they have a hard time to comfort themselves? I can't talk to family. My husband understands to a degree but I still need something more. Can anyone help?

 

[CeeCee-is-MeMe]

O Hun! I didn't realise it happened at around this time of year! I'm so sorry! It's perfectly normal to feel this way tho, I bet your family would surprise you if you explained how you feel. I kno it's easy to say & it will seem a ridiculous concept just now, but the old saying that time is a healer is kind of true! It's all still so raw for you now and its bound to b on your mind. Your grieving! And grief affects everyone differently. Take each day as it comes and remember your not alone. It sounds like you have a supportive network around you. Not to mention us on here

As for the diet. Try to remember why your dieting in the first place. Hold on to that goal and all the fabulous things that will come with achieving it! Your doing so well. Keep it up!! Remember our mini target deal? I'm holding you to it lol.

Take care
Ccxx

 

[coley144]

I've had 4 miscarriages this year so I know how you feel. Try Fertility Friends - it's a forum for people with fertility issues. There will be people there who understand. I have found that people who haven't experienced it don't tend to understand so try to talk to those who have.

Do something to remember the baby you have lost. I planted flowers for mine and on Halloween I lit candles for them. Maybe that sort of thing would help?

 

[Lynn_]

Oh Cokes, thats so sad and you are right, you need to feel sad about it. You were bereaved and it takes a long time to get over. This is kind of the first anniversary for you too, and that is a tough one to deal with.

I lost a baby 21 years ago and its never really left me, I can still cry about it if i think about it too much. It took a long time to get get on with my life and feel something like 'normal' again, but Colley144 is so right that you need to mark the event of your baby in some way. I bought a little hand painted picture of some flowers, wrote some words on the back and had it framed, and it hangs in my bedroom still. It helped me a lot to make that gesture to my unborn baby. Maybe you should try to do something like that as it will help give you closure and allow you to move on.

 

[Stupid]

don't know what i can say except be gentle with yourself. i haven't been through anything like that so can't imagine..