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Struggling/failing

SerenityValley

Surgically happy.
S: 23st8lb C: 10st7lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 21.1 Loss: 13st1lb(55.45%)
#1
Yep. As anyone could have predicted, my inability to follow through with RTM has caused problems. Though RTM consisted of being qweighed, asked how the week was, and then going on our way - which I'm getting the impression isn't the full rtm experience.

I can't just restart RTM - I'd need to restart LL for a period, so I'm not quite there yet (though if I hit 14st, I will be - even though I physically cannot afford it - am in danger of losing my home if I don't save a serious amount of money this year).

At current I've crept up to 13st 6lbs - well crept is not the right word, it's gone on fairly sharrply. I had arrested it, and gotten back to around 12st 12lbs, but in 2 weeks have undone all that again. I've made a lot of shocking food decisions, and the last few days have seen my exercise slip away again (restart properly again tomorrow before work).

I don't really know what to do - the books make no sense to me, they never reallly have. I've been unable to do the exercises they suggest as my mind just doesn't work that way. I've tried, but will try again. At the moment, I'm going to just have to write to myself as I used to do - to try to work out why I've been derailing myself and destroying my progress. Step one is going to have to be challenging my food choices just before I make them, rather than after. This week has been awful for that. I'll focus on what I've eaten, what i should have eaten, and the difference between the two.

Sigh. I'm really down, as I've started down the road to blowing my hard work and I can't afford to get back on LL. So I need to arrest this before I do so much damage that I give up again.

I won't really be here much - I feel like a fool, a fraud, and out of place. Yes, feeling sorry for myself. Guess I am beating myself up after all.
 
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KD

Gone fishing
#2
Aww Andy. Just wanted to give you a hug :hug99:
 

thin_inside

I Can Do This!
S: 18st12lb C: 12st9lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 6st3lb(32.95%)
#3
Hi Andy :hug99:

Struggling - Yes, but Failing - definitely NOT! If you were failing you would have given up. You haven't. You have recognised the bad choices and chosen to post on here and take some positive thoughts and actions.

We're here to listen and sympathise and maybe give you a helping prod in the right direction. You've been through a rough time and it's bound to have an impact.

When you think about cost of LL/RTM, think about how much the food/drink you have been consuming has cost you. I bet the true difference is not huge.

Try posting a daily food diary and blog on your thoughts in making those choices plus your exercise on here. I think you'll find the motivation again.

xx
 

Sean(JSF)

Making it all add up
S: 20st6lb C: 13st0lb G: 13st0lb BMI: 26.9 Loss: 7st6lb(36.36%)
#4
Hey Andy, sorry to hear you're struggling.

I guess the uncertainty about the job situation really isn't helping with stability and food choices either, but we ALL know you're more than capable of overcoming the temporary challenges that you are facing. Face it, you've still lost over 10 stone, so as TI says' in no one's eyes are you failing, other than your own.

The fact you've come on here and 'confessed' speaks volumes about how much your desire to maintain is still strong, and that's 50% of the battle won already. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to look at decisions daily, hourly even, and I certainly find keeping the Blog on here is helping me every day.

Please don't disappear again, it's feeling alone that does the damage and as you're no longer going to group meetings minimins really can be a life saver.

Keep focussed, keep positive and you WILL triumph.
 

susianna

Full Member
S: 16st13lb C: 11st4lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 5st9lb(33.33%)
#5
Andy you so do belong on here as much as anybody, so first off please try and change that mindset, take a positive step and start posting again, we really could do with more posters in this section and it really does help the newbies to RTM to gain every little bit of information they can. I always read through Sean's, Min's and Em's posts / blogs as they are ahead of me on RTM and it is invaluable to me but if I am right then it also is for them too and helps them to be documenting how they are feeling, what they are eating and the effects of this. Personally I find it hard to document my personal feelings and thoughts but that is another toooo long story but I know you have posted loads in the past so that must have helped you!

What about using one of the weightloss web sites such as Sean has detailed and uses, this will take into account you excercise etc calorie wise ... would that help?

Excercise wise don't stick with a routine that you don't enjoy .... find something that you like .... walking / power walking / running?

TI was so right ... so are not failing and you clearly don't want to fail as you wouldn't have posted on here.

Sending hugs hun and pleaseeeee don't go quiet on us ... post, post and post again and again and again (ok think you have got the message lol!)

x
 

daisydoll

Gold Member
S: 12st6lb C: 10st8lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 28 Loss: 1st12lb(14.94%)
#6
hi andy
sorry to read you are having a hard time.
you certainly not a failure - you have lost soooo much.

i had wondered where you were - don't disappear again - take all the advice above and stick with us!

you have proved you can do this over the last few months and you have done too well to slip back now

daisy x
 

EmVeg

Do a little dance!
S: 13st9lb C: 8st2lb G: 9st7lb Loss: 5st7lb(40.31%)
#7
Hi Andy - can't do much more than echo those thoughts above. You haven't failed, yes you may be struggling but its up to you grab this by the balls. You know you are capable - you need to do exactly as you said - use the methods that helped before like writing your thoughts down and looking at ACHIEVEMENTS for the day.

Hell even if yelling to yourself "GET IT TOGETHER" helps..do it. (please don't take that the wrong way....)

You are MORE than welcome here, and you do belong here as long as you feel like you do. But whatever Andy, we're all here.

xx
 

SerenityValley

Surgically happy.
S: 23st8lb C: 10st7lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 21.1 Loss: 13st1lb(55.45%)
#8
thanks folks - proper reply later but...

I need some ideas for uber cheap 100 to 200 calorie snacks please. (maximum cost 20p - which is tight - but since I'm trying to keep to £1.70 a day, I can't justify any more than that).

I'm trying to boost my cal intake during the day to about 750/800 (as in covering breakfast and lunch). Ideally I'd rather keep the cost to more like 10p than 20p (lol - I'm so tight but it's necessary). Obviously there's not much you can buy for 10p, but there must be things I can make in batch and bring in?

At the moment, I'm doing roughly this:

4 slices toast and marge (350 cals)
home made veg soup (200 cals)
Dinner of around 600 to 800 cals (tonight baked sweet potato, bacon, beans - or just sweet potato and beans).
1 or 2 yoghurts (till they run out - 150 to 300 cals)

If hungry later, I have tuna and mayo, with spices for about 200 cals.

This generally keeps me around the 1800 to 2000 mark for cals.

Choosing wisely has worked today - I considered a pack of quavers (90cals) and considered why I wanted them. "Because I can" isn't really a reason to choose something that causes cravings. I can have them whenever I want but am choosing not to have them (repeat to fade).
 

thin_inside

I Can Do This!
S: 18st12lb C: 12st9lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 6st3lb(32.95%)
#9
Phew Andy, thought you'd left us in a fit of depression. Glad to hear you're working things out. I'm sure those on RTM or maintaining will provide loads of snack suggestions, but how about some of the crackerbreads (packs of them are around 40-60p) and a dash of philladelphia extra light? Is this too high carb? I know I have a lot to learn.

Anyway, great to hear from you!
 

Kitteh

Resident geek
#10
Oooh look at you bringing me out of lurkdom..
You look at a pic of you before you ever started LL.. and you look at yourself now and tell me thats "failing".. failing is giving up.. you are NOT giving up..
always about on msn usually if you want a chat my love..

Mwah
x x
 

KD

Gone fishing
#11
Hi Andy.

A couple of things. Looks to me like you need more protein. Protein is really important for weight control/loss. Probably the most important macronutrient, and also satisfying.

Hard boiled eggs...about 17p.
Almonds. Okay, I know some people consider almonds to be expensive, but at Asda they do a packet of mixed blanched/unblanched almonds for about 60p for 100g...a bigger packet though, but will keep you going for a while.

25g serving is about 150 cals, and it's a lot. Almonds have been researched many times for use in weight control. They are very satisfying; really keep the hunger at bay.

I find 10 almonds is enough at one time.

Okay, I know this sounds like one of those mythy things (which I so hate), but latest published research paper says that to get even more satisfaction from them, you need to chew them for 40 times. LOL. It's pretty easy though as they are very dense. Oh, and eating almonds with other things lowers the GI value of the whole meal. Not that I'm a fan of GI ;) But there ya go.

check you cal values for the bread and marge. That seems very low to me..unless you are using very small sizes. Just worth checking on the package to be sure.

Maybe add some lentils (more protein) to your soup. Low fat, cheap and low cals.
 

SerenityValley

Surgically happy.
S: 23st8lb C: 10st7lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 21.1 Loss: 13st1lb(55.45%)
#12
Thanks KD.

Bread and marge cals are spot on - I'm using the values on the packs. (77 to 82 cals per slice, depending on the one I use, plus the thinnest scraping of marge imaginable).

My soup has lentils in it (a broth mix). Will ponder on the almonds - I don't really like the taste of almonds but will give them a go.

Eggs are probably out - I'd have to eat them cold, and I don't like cold eggs (plus I can't buy cheap eggs). They'd be fine for a weekend though, when I can at least be at home to make them.

My main problem is that I have to eat when I get to work, rather than before, as I swim before work.

Thanks again :)

(And everyone else - just don't have time for a proper reply!).
 

KD

Gone fishing
#13
Thanks KD.

Bread and marge cals are spot on - I'm using the values on the packs. (77 to 82 cals per slice,
Glad you checked. My bread is 132 cals a slice, so they do vary.
Will ponder on the almonds - I don't really like the taste of almonds but will give them a go.
I hope you can learn to love them. I can't say they were my favourite nut, but I have them every day now, and wouldn't be without them. Such a quick snack...keep some in my pocket at all times :D Emergency rations if I get caught out and hungry.

My main problem is that I have to eat when I get to work, rather than before, as I swim before work.
I see. Something (crackers) with peanut butter on, unless peanut butter is a problem food, which is another story :D Again, it'll be some cheap protein. Will keep my thinking cap on. Really hope we can find some cheap protein stuff for you.
 

SerenityValley

Surgically happy.
S: 23st8lb C: 10st7lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 21.1 Loss: 13st1lb(55.45%)
#14
I love - nay, adore peanut butter. There is definitely potential for a problem there. But at the same time, I have to be able to try these things. That's how I found I couldn't be trusted with biscuits, cakes, sweets, crisps or chocolate :( lol
 

SerenityValley

Surgically happy.
S: 23st8lb C: 10st7lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 21.1 Loss: 13st1lb(55.45%)
#15
I have no official weigh in till next saturday (this week's has not counted due to my weight being volatile recently). I have my eating back on track (between 1800 and 2000 cals a day), have managed to make good and healthy choices when faced with temptation, and with the exercise (including a run today, outside in the sunshine), I have arrested the weight gain, and started to move back in the right direction. I'll be happy to consolidate that this week.

I have also begun to put in places the techniques I'll need to follow to keep making good choices. Some of these include:

Having a treat day. (This means a day when I can have a treat and not a day where I can eat unencumbered).
Questioning my food choices in advance.
Writing down how I feel before and after a meal.

The last one helped me a lot the last couple of days.

I am also putting serious thought into my reward, for when I maintain at a weight I'm happy with, for 6 months. (I am not "happy" with my gain, and I was "happy" at 12st 7lbs, but things change). I think my reward may be a tattoo. I'm giving real thought to having a shoulder rat. Basically, rats like to sit on people's shoulders, and you get lots of them at rat shows. So I'm thinking of getting one tattooed on my shoulder.

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone's thoughts - I do reallly appreciate them and I'll try to pick out some of the uestions later. I can't promise to be active here again - I do still feel out of place (I'm not on LL, and I haven't finished RTM properly). At the same time, I don't want to use the main forum, as people don't know me like you guys do.
 

Minerva

...we're sinking deeper.
S: 18st7lb C: 11st1lb G: 9st4lb BMI: 26.6 Loss: 7st6lb(40.15%)
#16
OMG - try dry roasted chickpeas or soya nuts/beans! They're awesome. The chickpeas are more protein and much less calorie dense than nuts. Very satisfying snack as well..! Same with soya nuts. You can make your own roasted chickpeas as well, buy a tin, and look up some recipes for them... I may make some peri-peri sauce ones, they sound YUM.

How about fruit? It's quite cheap if you bulk buy a bag of apples; and nice snack ideas are: just sprinkle some cinnamon on apple halves, and microwave it for a minute or two! It's very yummy. Or try making a crumble for yourself! Cut up a fruit, out a little (no-sugar added) fruit juice in a dish, mix some rolled oats with an egg white and a smidgeon of butter for the "topping".. bake at 200 C for 30 mins or so. Lovely cold as well. :)

Hang in there Andy. Keep a food journal, and go for more 'raw' ingredients than 'ready-made'. Raw ingredients definitely last far longer than other stuff. :D You can make some mini-pizza's for yourself as well which are lower in calories. Get some wholewheat medium pitta breads and use them as a base (I think 1 pitta bread is about 200 cal?). Have two, put some tomato sauce on, sprinkle some basil, grate some cheese and put lots of steamed veg on there! Maybe some wafer thin ham/tuna flakes. Over all, it wouldn't work out too badly. The bulk of the veggies will keep you satisfied :D and for two it'll be about 500 calories (rather than store bought pizza which is about 800-900...)

:hug99:
 
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KD

Gone fishing
#17
OMG - try dry roasted chickpeas or soya nuts/beans! They're awesome. The chickpeas are more protein and much less calorie dense than nuts.
Very true, though there was a reason for me recommending almonds.

a) I forgot about chickpeas :D
b) The are very easy to just grab and go. Okay chickpeas might be too, but I've never tried.
c) and this is the main one....because of the metabolic advantage almonds give. As far as I'm aware there isn't a similar one for chickpeas.

So, mainly C) ;)

Still. Another great idea Min ;)
 

Minerva

...we're sinking deeper.
S: 18st7lb C: 11st1lb G: 9st4lb BMI: 26.6 Loss: 7st6lb(40.15%)
#18
Booooo shush KD! :p Stop ruining my plans for world domination with chickpeas! They are so tasty. Mmmm. Yum. I should try to make some spicy chickpea burgers... in fact that's what I want for lunch today!! Omg. :eek:

But I do love almonds, I had about 8-10 almonds as a snack before I started Lite. They are indeed very satisfying. :D Then again I love anything almond based... I have a small jar of almond butter in my cupboard. Mmmmmmmmmmm.
 

KD

Gone fishing
#19
Booooo shush KD! :p Stop ruining my plans for world domination with chickpeas!
:rotflmao: Almonds rule!!!!! :D

But I do love almonds, I had about 8-10 almonds as a snack before I started Lite. They are indeed very satisfying. :D
Satisfying, yeah, but it's the metabolic advantage that I'm more interested in. Something about it way back in my diary somewhere. Hopefully going write more on it later.

It's fascinating...well, to me anyway :D
 

EmVeg

Do a little dance!
S: 13st9lb C: 8st2lb G: 9st7lb Loss: 5st7lb(40.31%)
#20
Andy, glad to read that last post of yours - sounding more positive and best of all realistic in how you need to be approaching this.

Sorry to hear things are a little rough at the moment, but you are doing well. You should be proud that you're making steps to get yourself well back on track - your plans sound good, and I'm sure you can work through this.

I love the idea of the 6 month manage tattoo. It's something that means a lot to you, and I think it would be a great gift to yourself. But I may be biased because my getting to goal present was my swan tat :D
 


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