Struggling With Old Habits

Trefoil

Gold Member
Hi Everyone,

Just looking for a bit of advice really.

I have done weight watchers 4 times, SW 3 times, Dukan Diet and tried Calorie Counting/Eating Normally. I have never ever got to goal.
When I was younger I struggled to cope with changes, deaths and other things happening in my life and turned to food as a way out. I used to stand looking in the fridge, bite bits out of cheese blocks and hide them back in the fridge, I used to hide chocolate bars down the elasticated waistband of my jeans and under anything I was carrying, hiding the wrappers in the drawers. I used to take puddings to my room and hide the cutlery in my trousers, my parents had to count what was in the house just to make sure!

I struggle everytime I start a new diet- super motivated and then fall off the wagon a month into it and can't be bothered, then I eat myself into oblivion and feel dreadful and then start the cycle again. I can binge so easily it's untrue and the amount I can eat is truly shocking. I can eat until I have no breath left and then instantly regret it and overdo it on the exercise front! I have a major problem- in frightened about the future as I cannot ever get anywhere with my weight loss and it's worrying me. I have seen a counsellor for bits and pieces but the sessions have ended.

I have gone from binging to refusing to eat meals and relying on water and alcohol to get me through- just not sure what to do! I need to tackle this head on but I dunno what to do! Or how to get there!

I have awful stretch marks on my stomach and I feel grotesque I just need some kind of push to get me out of this rut I'm stuck in before it's too late!
I have been with my partner 6 years this year and were he to propose (highly unlikely in my opinion) I would refuse because I don't think I look or feel good enough to have that kind of commitment! I feel as if I owe it to him to lose this weight as when I met him I was nearly 50lbs lighter than I am now and I feel like a beached whale!

Sorry to write an essay but I need somewhere to put this before I go stir crazy as no one I know understands that it's not just about what I put in my mouth for me, it's definitely deep rooted and I'm at a loss as to how I can lose weight whilst I'm like this!!!

Thanks

Ruth
X
 
Hi Ruth, Welcome to the forum.
First of all I couldn't help thinking that perhaps you need some counselling for the underlying causes of your problem...Have you tried this I wonder?

Apart from that, I do think that you need to try to relax and not be so harsh with yourself as the majority of folk on here have very much the same problems. I know that I tend to over eat when I am anxious and I really hate changes...even little ones. That's why when we decide to do something new we start to get those panicky moments because we don't know what is likely to happen next.
Try to remember that you are in control of what you eat but then none of us are perfect and therefore we are bound to have those times when things go a bit askew. Just treat it as a mere blip and try to carry on as soon as you can.
Keep posting on here, start your own diary so we know where to find you and there will be lots of Mini peeps that will be offering you help and encouragement.

All the very best to you ... :)
 
Emmaline said:
Hi Ruth, Welcome to the forum.
First of all I couldn't help thinking that perhaps you need some counselling for the underlying causes of your problem...Have you tried this I wonder?

Apart from that, I do think that you need to try to relax and not be so harsh with yourself as the majority of folk on here have very much the same problems. I know that I tend to over eat when I am anxious and I really hate changes...even little ones. That's why when we decide to do something new we start to get those panicky moments because we don't know what is likely to happen next.
Try to remember that you are in control of what you eat but then none of us are perfect and therefore we are bound to have those times when things go a bit askew. Just treat it as a mere blip and try to carry on as soon as you can.
Keep posting on here, start your own diary so we know where to find you and there will be lots of Mini peeps that will be offering you help and encouragement.

All the very best to you ... :)

Thank You very much for reading and replying! I have had counselling but the sessions have finished and I can't get anymore so maybe I will have to go privately!

I'm so determined to change my mental state once and for all so I think I may start a proper diary on here, how I feel etc so I can find somewhere to put the negative feelings I have :)

Thanks once again :)

Ruth
X
 
Glad to hear that Ruth. Main thing is to not get too wound up when things don't go 100%.

I have had a whole year trying to get my weight to shift again..battling with a lot of pain and meds not helping matters either... so just remember that we all have our own demons to fight and you are not alone at all!

You go girl... :D

P.S. Just noticed that you have been a member for a while.. however, the welcome is just as sincere.
 
Emmaline said:
Glad to hear that Ruth. Main thing is to not get too wound up when things don't go 100%.

I have had a whole year trying to get my weight to shift again..battling with a lot of pain and meds not helping matters either... so just remember that we all have our own demons to fight and you are not alone at all!

You go girl... :D

P.S. Just noticed that you have been a member for a while.. however, the welcome is just as sincere.

Yes I need to realise that we all have wobbly days and I can't beat myself up if I'm not 100% everyday!

I need to kick my demons into touch before I get too much older- I'm frightened of losing my OH over it as its obvious he looks at how and what I eat in a strange way!

Thanks for everything!

Ruth
X
 
Stop

Hi Ruth

PLEASE stop beating yourself up, there is nothing wrong with you and it is not your fault you are carrying this excess weight with all of your on/off diets.

Last week I chanced upon a book on Amazon written by an eminent scientist, name of Gary Taubes Why We Get Fat and what to do about it. It is mind blowing, we have been lied to for years about weight loss by the whole diet and fitness industries and by the government.

Even if you don't buy the book just read the reviews, it is not a diet book it is a factual book that will make sense to you once you have read it (or the reviews).

Good luck and if nothing else this book might stop you beating yourself up.

Barb x
 
Hi Ruth

Just to say hello and wish you all he best. I think you are off to a good start..It's still January (just) and you have loads of time to slowly get where you want to be.

Pomooky XXX
 
Hi Ruth

Just to say hello and wish you all he best. I think you are off to a good start..It's still January (just) and you have loads of time to slowly get where you want to be.

Pomooky XXX

Thank You very much!

Its going to take time but Im sure Ill get there eventually!!

Have a lovely day- hope you're ok yourself!!

Ruth
x
 
I too am the same. I can binge for days, restrict for days and then binge some more. It is a destructive cycle and I really want to get out of it.

I think its all to do with changing habbits so that is what I am trying.

I wish you luck
 
I hope u can find peace with food. I too have a terrible relationship with food and a history of bulimia . I'm going to try ww again but try to be more forgiving of myself and less all or nothing. I have to lose weight, I feel as though I have lost myself since I had my babies and got so big :(
Other people's success does inspire me, if they can do it so can we!
 
Baby_Cakes said:
I too am the same. I can binge for days, restrict for days and then binge some more. It is a destructive cycle and I really want to get out of it.

I think its all to do with changing habbits so that is what I am trying.

I wish you luck

Yes I agree and I am trying to change my habits the best that I can :)

Good Luck too!

Ruth
X
 
shrinkingannie said:
I hope u can find peace with food. I too have a terrible relationship with food and a history of bulimia . I'm going to try ww again but try to be more forgiving of myself and less all or nothing. I have to lose weight, I feel as though I have lost myself since I had my babies and got so big :(
Other people's success does inspire me, if they can do it so can we!

I feel like that too- so inspired by others!! One day we will be the inspirations to others!!!

I know that we will both get there it's just going to take a bit of time :(

Ruth
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I've slipped again well and truly- I can't even get one 100% day out of myself it's so irritating! What i want to do and what I do actually do seem to be completely separate things!!!

Ruth
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I've slipped again well and truly- I can't even get one 100% day out of myself it's so irritating! What i want to do and what I do actually do seem to be completely separate things!!!

Ruth
X

"In a nutshell, if you eat sugar, flour and other hi carb foods, you generate a lot of insulin.

Insulin is a very powerful hormone, that has the following effect...


1. Its stops you burning fat instantly, so if you eat carbs, you literally cannot lose weight.

2. Insulin is known as the hunger hormone, so you're starving and overeating.

Current Dieting advice is to eat 5 portions of fruit and veg. If you eat 4 meals plus 5 fruit, you'll be realising Insulin 9 times a day... so you'll be permanently starving and worse, unable to burn any fat... so won't lose weight at all.

Insulin triggers our overeating."


 
I must admit that before i found the right way of eating for me, i thought i was greedy and had no will power. Once i discovered low carb (and survived the first weeks cravings:eek: ) i realised that it was a physical reaction making me hungry and literally unable to say no. Now i love food and choose what i eat - cant afford to let the carb monster back out but worth it!

Hope you can find a way of eating that lets you feel good too.
 
Hi Ruth :)

You're not alone! I relate to everything you said. I've suffered with compulsive overeating for as long as I can remember, I'm on here to try and win, for once! Love to you x
 
Hello Everyone!

Thank you for the lovely posts!

I have fallen off track in a big way and need to sort myself out!

I'm sure I will get there though! I have tried VLCDs and I ended up with an inflamed stomach lining and hospitalised so I can't do those but thank you for the advice all the same!

Will keep plodding along!

Ruth
X
 
Hi Ruth

I struggle to understand why I eat when rationally I know that the answer to my problems has not been popped into the bottom of a bag of crisps.

When I get stressed - I eat. The compulsion is so strong that I sometimes feel that I'm standing and watching someone else prepare and eat the food.

I have 2 things that make me eat. Carb cravings and stress. I can spot the carb cravings now. That's what Atkins and Gary Taube talk about with the whole insulin resistant thing. I call it the carb monster has been unleashed and that's why although I love carbs they are like cocaine and alcohol.

For the stress, have to say the chillpods are really making a difference although when I first started listening I went on a binge bender. Since I started listening 7 weeks ago after the initial thing I have had only one incident which was over the next day.

Sorry to ramble on!
 
Soraya said:
Hi Ruth

I struggle to understand why I eat when rationally I know that the answer to my problems has not been popped into the bottom of a bag of crisps.

When I get stressed - I eat. The compulsion is so strong that I sometimes feel that I'm standing and watching someone else prepare and eat the food.

I have 2 things that make me eat. Carb cravings and stress. I can spot the carb cravings now. That's what Atkins and Gary Taube talk about with the whole insulin resistant thing. I call it the carb monster has been unleashed and that's why although I love carbs they are like cocaine and alcohol.

For the stress, have to say the chillpods are really making a difference although when I first started listening I went on a binge bender. Since I started listening 7 weeks ago after the initial thing I have had only one incident which was over the next day.

Sorry to ramble on!

I completely agree with you!!!!

I have bought a Slimpod, the drop 2 jean sizes or more which I am really looking forward to :) it arrived today so I will be listening to it tonight for the first time!

Very stressed at work at the minute so I'm hoping that this will help :)

Thanks for the advice!!!!!! Wow 7 weeks have u seen a difference in the way you think?

Ruth
X
 
Yes and no - I'm more relaxed about it if I eat badly. I know that doesn't exactly sound like success but it means I don't think I'm a terrible human being and it's all a failure so I may as well just carry on eating. It's interesting hearing how everyone does as people respond very differently and because it all feels natural you don't always notice the changes.

I've found your posts in the slimpod bit and look forward to hearing how you get on - I have yet to stay awake through my pods.
 
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