sunday dinner

[kati]

I have a problem coming up on sunday. I have twin sons whose birthday was last tuesday. They have been on holiday with the school all week so haven't been here to celebrate with any family.

My mother has decided that we have to go out for lunch on sunday for their birthday, with it being for my sons (who I havent seen all week and will only have them half an hour tonight before they go to their dads till sunday morning) I can't get out of it. Help!!!

I tried getting out of it by saying I had planned to take them to the cinema but my mam decided she'll come with us and we can go after dinner (I call lunch dinner sorry). They don't like me doing this diet (my fault i suppose because I haven't told them exactly what it is they just think I'm not eating properly) and are always trying to find ways to make me eat so if I don't have anything I'm never going to hear the end of it. I don't want to have to explain about the diet because they will have a go at me for that all the time too. I work with them so can't get away from it at all.

I only just caved in and ate a few days ago and I really don't want to eat again and ruin it all, but I can't see a way out of it.

Anyone got any advice on how to cope with people trying to force you to eat? I've been in such a bad mood thinking about this, I really don't want to do it but I don't want to ruin the day for my sons

 

[Jubbly]

Maybe you should try explaining the diet in great depth to your mum so she fully understands and reassure her that sole source is only temporary if she's worried? My mum has been nagging me today via email asking me if I'm going to eat this weekend so I know how you feel but admittedly I don't have to work or live with her!! If she still insists on you eating, you could always just have some chicken salad or something you might have on AAM with some soda water. Alternatively, go but take a bar and eat it while everyone eats roast. I've done that - it's tough but it might make your mum feel so guilty that she won't ask again!!

 

[kati]

I thought about having a salad or something but most places will only do the sunday roasts on a sunday. So I probably wont have that choice. I don't have any bars to take with me either.

It's pointless explaining the diet to her to be honest, she and her partner are the type of people whoo see things their own way and no one elses so if they don't come up with thinking its a good idea then it isn't. Last time I mentioned needing extra motivation to lose weight instead of just calorie counting I got told I was being stupid and just needed to "sort myself out" So they wont understand no matter how much I explain it to them.

 

[Isobel1965]

Hun - if your family aren't supportive, you've got a couple of options here.

You can a) say you're ill and therefore can't face eating
b) just have some turkey and green veg (no gravy, peas, potatoes, carrots etc)
c) eat a full roast and start again on Monday
d) say you're on a diet and have already eaten

I too had real issues with my mum over me not eating - she just didn't 'get' it. I had to get really tough with her and tell her that it was HER problem, not mine and that I was healthy and happy and old enough to decide what I ate.

She didn't like it much but accepted that I was an adult and could make my own choices. (she's now lost 5 stone herself on a vlcd!!!)

At the end of the day, it's up to you what you do on the day but whatever happens, it's only one day and you can get back on the wagon again the next day.

love

 

[KateF]

Wouldn't chicken/turkey and some green or white veg also be what you'd be allowed on an AAM week so you could just have that?

Or... take it as a really, really hard, challenging, but maybe necessary example of a time you need to say (in your head at least) "I know best what's right for me" and stick to your guns, even when it's hard to have people disagree with you.

Also- tell her that even Doctors sometimes prescribe the diet you're on, so it can't be wrong.

 

[Maislow]

you'll prob find most places will do you a chicken salad even on a Sunday. If I have to go out thats what I have & I take a shake with me in case they don't

 

[kati]

thanks for all those replies. This has been getting me down so much I've almost given in this evening thinking well its oing to be ruined anyway i might aswell eat now then start again on monday. But I didn't. Instead I went in the bath fo 2 hours and read a book so I'm all wrinkly now,

As soon as I got out I was tempted again so now I'm having sicey tomato soup. I really want cheese and garlic.

Anyway, you're right it is ultimately up to me and I really don't want to eat. so I'm going to do something about that even if I have to take the kids out myself and refuse to let my mam and her boyfriend come. They are my children after all not theirs.

 

[Jubbly]

Well maybe if you look at it like this when it gets tough - your mum sounds just like the kind of person to say 'I told you so' so don't let her win!!

 

[kati]

That is a fantastic way to look at it! thanks for that bit of inspiration

 

[Champess]

Good for you - if you are sat in front of the TV this eveing why not have the biggest glass you've got filled with water in your hands and just keep on glugging.

I am fighting the temptation to have a chicken kebab tonight when I pick hubby up from the pub. I am about to have a shake in a minute and will keep a pint of water in front of me while I am on the internet.

You're right - they are your kids and it's up to you what you would like to do to celebrate their birthdays with them. Is it possible they could take them out for lunch then pick you up on the way back to go to the cinema??

Keep on posting and dont give in, you are doing very well.

xxxx

 

[kati]

ooh I've been dreaming about kebabs too smothered in galic sauce mmmmm (I only like chicken ones)

I have a 2 litre bottle full of water with me, in my nightie and no food in the house. So, if i slip up tonight it's going to take some effort. Shame I can't drink to stop me driving lol it's such a long walk to the nearest chippy

 

[Jubbly]

Well just think you can't walk to the chippy in your nightie!!

 

[kati]

I should put all my clothes in the bath and soak them then I cant get dressed either lol

 

[KittyB]

I should put all my clothes in the bath and soak them then I cant get dressed either lol

Mad!!! rofl

I have the opposite problem with my mum...she'll do anything for me not to eat.
Think you're right though. It's your decision on what to do as they are your kids. Give her a gentle reminder

Kitty x

 

[Brad0053]

Kati

This is and should be ALL about you matey, so start getting selfish.

Often I read about members of people's families disapproving of their diet (whatever one they are doing). I'm sure they do it for the best of intensions, but it isn't dreadfully helpful.

Only you know why you started the diet and what you want to get out of it. You are doing the hard bit now. Don't let yourself get thrown off track, start thinking and believing at this moment in time it's ALL about you, you, you.

If you do decide to eat, then that is for you and only you to decide, but do it for your reasons mate.

Whatever you decide, be strong and let the experience make you stronger still.

Best Wishes