Surfhunny's Countdown to Florida

I'm actually starting to p!ss myself off now with all this! Tomorrow I will measure, then I promise I will go on the scales NEXT Saturday!!!

Thanks everyone for your advice and for putting up with my whinging :)
 
Happy to return the favour for a change! lol

Le tus know how the measurements go, hope they are good!
 
Me too, as soon as I get up I'll do it!!
 
I'm actually starting to p!ss myself off now with all this! Tomorrow I will measure, then I promise I will go on the scales NEXT Saturday!!!

Thanks everyone for your advice and for putting up with my whinging :)
Yep I like this.. Slow steps sal!
Ok record measurements too, and your not in the 17's so stop thinking like that. Sorry can u tell how obsessed I am with scales lol
Xx
 
Oh I know I'm not in the 17s that's how heavy I was when I started and I know I'm not there again, I just have a very warped self-image that's all. It's because my body shape hasn't changed at all, just shrunk, the outline is still the same, lumpy!
 
Okay so I've caught up with my Beck homework exercises. I've mentioned in Shannys diary that normally if I let something like Beck slip for a few days that's usually the end of it & it gets filed on the shelf. Instead this time I've felt guilty about missing 3 days so I've picked the book up and caught up. So tomorrow I can carry on as normal with it.

Maybe Beck is working after all.....
 
just catching up. i went to bed :)

everyone who has been big for any length of time has the same warped feelings and vision of themselves. the only truth is the clothes. these let you know that you are not as big as you were. one time in my life i was huge, really huge. i was wearing a size 28 clothes (22 stone i think i was) and could only shop in evans - mega depressing. after ems it was clothes that i couldn't buy. i was stuck in maternity clothes, wearing the same trousers and tops all the time until i decided to do something about it and went to julie. emily was 14 months old at this point (i was over 17st). i'm sure you've heard this all before. hubby was so excited when i started buying new clothes and trousers. we almost burnt my maternity trousers, one of which was a lovely grey pair with a hole in it between the legs. they went in the bin and it was an end of an era :D

i vowed never to get as big as i was after emily. i got big after matthew and i was 15st. from 11st 7lbs. then i put on weight eating the wrong things. in the august when matthew was 4 months old i started ww as i wanted to take action in some form even though i couldn't do cd yet as i was feeding him and it was one of the most important things to me. my first ww meeting i weighed in at 16st 4lb. from the end of august to february i lost almost a couple of stone so when i did go back to julie it wasn't too bad. i was 14st 9lb cause i'd done something as i made a promise to myself.

just make a promise to yourself that you'll never get to 17st odd again sally. then let your clothes be your guide. when you are slim you WILL wear smaller clothes. i'm a 12-14 in trousers and tops and NOT a 20 or even a 28! i still see myself as big and i see problem areas but i know i'm not big from my size of my clothes.

just remember to see how you feel too. the smaller you get you fitter you will feel and the smallest amount you put on you can actually feel it it feels like a lump around your tummy.

i let myself get back to 13st after the stress with my mum. i left julie at 11st 10lbs when i had to stop cause my iron was low and came back in the nov, 3 months later at 13st. i'm very strange body wise as she didn't think i'd put on much and was surprised when she saw the scales. i've deceptively small. :)

i've promised myself that action will be taken at 11st 7lbs and i will not get bigger than 12st ever ever again. i know i can't do this on my own as i can't be trusted. i think most of my weight i put on was wine/alcohol weight. i had a drink almost every night my mum was in hospital. just from stress. although i never drank on a day where i was going for a run or doing exercise as i can't do it when i'm hung over - this is why i want to try to do something every day.

sorry for a long reply but my story was basically a - don't go by how you see yourself. we all have a warped self image. use other methods - the scales, the clothes etc
 
p.s just wanted to send some hugs cause i know the journey is so hard in various ways and even arriving at your destination has its life long problems which is just as much a battle as the journey. it's bl**dy hard. i'm so jealous of naturally slim ladies.
 
Thanks so much Nikki, I've woken up in a better frame of mind this morning. I just need to get past this mental wall without giving up this time!

On Tuesday the family are going across to the Lakes to visit an uncle, I've decided not to go because he always treats us to dinner somewhere fancy, and there's no way I could go and not eat. He'd be offended. I thought about saying I don't feel well but the thought of sitting watching everyone eat gorgeous food is not something I can handle right now! So it's easier not to go.

I also made the decision last night to carry on the Beck book in a vague hope that it WILL do as promised and change how I think about food and eating!

Also I actually don't have much choice right now lol. My car was at the garage yesterday so my purse is £100 emptier and if I want the bathroom finishing I still have things to buy and I'll need money for that so I can't afford to go out and restock my cupboards now. CD SS+ is will have to be lol.

I also just want to say again I really do appreciate the support I've had from everyone on here! I'd be a jibbering wreck without outside perspective :D
 
A very good eye opening post there Nikki...


Good morning sal glad to hear also you have woken up this morning feeling alot better than yesterday *whispers*
xxx
 
Thanks Shanny!! In an effort to try and get my head back in the zone I've been reading through posts from when I very first started CD and came across this one:


2nd September 2008

I've been fairly ok today, but had a lucky escape in Asda just now. I went to get a couple of new bra's for my hols and some bottled water, and while I was there I thought to myself:

'now is the time if I want to eat something I can, I've got 3 weeks to make amends'...

So I walked to the fridge section cos I figured I'd just buy a pack of the cooked chicken pieces and eat them for my dinner instead of a shake. I stood there for absolutely ages looking at them, and I just couldn't do it. I HAVE CHANGED MY WICKED WAYS AT LAST I left the shop with the items I came for and I'll be having a toffee and walnut shake in an hour or so.

I'm so proud of myself, because before I started CD, when I was still doing SW, I'd have bought the chicken, and a chocolate bar and eaten them both in the car on the way home so no-one would know. I guess that's what they call progress!!
__________________

I need to find this kind of focus again!!
 
I hope you don't mind me popping in! I am an exante girl and I just want you to know that I have read every single post of your diary..haha stalker :D You are one of my inspirations on mini mins and I am rooting for you to find that focus and determination again :)

xx
 
SummerRain said:
I hope you don't mind me popping in! I am an exante girl and I just want you to know that I have read every single post of your diary..haha stalker :D You are one of my inspirations on mini mins and I am rooting for you to find that focus and determination again :)

xx

Ah thank you!!! :D I like having stalkers lol I feel important (just kidding) I'm glad if my trials and tribulations help people, even if it's just to let them know they're not alone in this journey and how they're feeling!! Cos it's hard work and as far as I'm concerned no-one should struggle on their own! So drop in anytime :D
 
I BIT THE BULLET!!!!!!

I got up this morning and as promised last night I measured myself! I was thoroughly p!ssed off with what they were, only place to have lost anything was 1inch off chest :(

So I dragged the scales out from under the bed, took a deep breath and got on. I don't know whether to laugh or cry!!!

My weight today is........ 14st 9lbs :eek:

I have such mixed feelings about it, in one respect I'm overjoyed at being firmly into the 14s but in another respect I've only lost 10lbs in 5 weeks!! That's a lb a week because I lost the first 6lbs in the first week, before I decided to abandon the scales.

I think this has unleashed the demon again, I'm going to be back to scale hopping again I think. Hopefully it's also restored my determination too!!
 
14st 9lbs is not that bad. honestly. it's 9 weeks to the april event (wedding?). 100% ss or even ss+ could be 31.5lb over 2 stone (2st 3.5lb to be exact). how will you feel being 12st 5.5lb for your april event? the new clothes you could wear, the glowing skin, sense of pride etc!

this is doable surf.
 
keep at it! use it as motivation surf.

nikki, love your post about your weight losses over the years!
 
I had to run over from my diary to read, sal you know now let's concernate on loosing the 9 lbs first in the next few days.

To be fair you have nothing to worry about, as nikki said you will easily be in the 12's by April ..... Do u realise this sal ???
 
Sal I'm really excited for ya because this now means you can focus better.

Let's start the ball rolling from today now, and I'm sure you will be the winner come April.

Can I just say it was me that put the pressure on you to visit the scales. But to be honest im glad you did this morning.

100% determined surf is back everyone!!! Xxx
 
:D i agree with shanny. you've nothing to loose but weight and the weight on your shoulders!
 
You're all right. The trouble is even with 100% SSing my losses aren't what they used to be. I love to be in the 12s by Stes wedding but I think that I'd be setting myself up for a fall. So right now my first goal is to get back into the 100s.

I'm going to have to take this slowly and not think about the bigger picture because it freaks me out!!

I've got two full weeks of sitting on my ass then I go back to work part time for a week or so. Then back up to full time.

On a positive note however, if I hadn't been sticking to CD these last 5 weeks I'd be the size of a house by now. I'd easily have put on 10lbs instead of losing them which would've taken me to 1lbs less than my origin CD starting weight :eek:

So onwards and downwards from here. Off to work out how much I'll need to lose to get under 200lbs!
 
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