Take two, go!

[seabre]

Hi Kamikat - Think I'd stick to the sachets too!! Even the thought of the smell of those Flapjacks sends me reeling!!! Must be the 6 week itch or something cos I have had the worst (and weirdest) day...
I could not face any shakes this morning - come lunch time I was obv starving and when I was making my little ones lunch (toasted pancakes with butter) I stuffed and I mean stuffed one in my mouth and devoured it!! From then on it was a disaster - I felt so bad for doing this that I decided not to have my lunch shake either (in a stupid effort to make up for the pancake) Then come dinner time I found myself picking at the leftovers!!! I knew it was so stupid but it was like my head was rationalising it by saying "well you've F**ked up now so you might as well"!!!
I am so so disgusted with myself! What a shitty day - no shakes and picking at v illegal food....
What the heck is wrong with me?? Its like I am deliberately trying to sabotage myself as I have NEVER been as successful on a diet in my life and believe me I've been on many many diets!!!
I just hope I can put this behind me and do 100% for the rest of the week - I am now obsessed with how much damage I may have done - I know I will absolutely hate myself if I have weight on next week - The only thing that keeps me going is the loss on a mon morning I literally live for it!!!
I know I am going to be gutted when I inevitably step on the scale tom and see weight on and I will be obsessive about this for the rest of the week! Mad is not the word - AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH

 

[Kamikat]

Aww don't beat yourself up, temptation happens *hugs* There's no point obsessing over it, just get back on the shakes and carry on. The "You've already messed up the diet so might as well keep going" is what got me so overweight in the first place, it's a sneaky trap but you can avoid it! You're doing brilliantly to be able to keep going, you've come so far already. Don't give in!

 

[seabre]

Thanks Kamikat!!! What would I do without you to vent - I would never admit this to anyone - people have been so full of praise for me lately, it'll have me cringing this week! On the plus side I woke up in a positive state of mind, although my scale is showing + 1lb fr yesterday!!! But I will keep going and more determined than ever this week now - Its funny as I had been letting the thought of coming off it and onto Atkins creep in on me lately a lot so perhaps this has given me a much needed kick up the butt to stay on plan til 15th Dec as I had originally committed to doing. Maybe I am just not ready to be trusted around food at all lol!!!

 

[Kamikat]

I can't tell you to stay on LT But it sounds like you've got things back under control, so well done! Ignore the scale, its aim in life is to demoralise us (methinks), but we're stronger than that.
Today my usual pharmacist wasn't there, the person who filled in for her gave me the packs for refeeding so tomorrow I'm going to phone to get some more advice. I had a refeed 'meal' yesterday, it was... underwhelming, to be honest, then again it still felt like a cheat. This morning after my shake I felt hungry for the first time in a while, but I had a 'meal' lunch half an hour ago and now I'm stuffed. This week (9 days, really) I've lost 4lb, which made me think twice about coming off now that I'm finally back below 200lb. Given that I have meal-events almost every week until Christmas, and that in my frame of mind last week I would not have survived them, I think it's safest (for me) to come off LT for a bit and stay careful. Please all of you keep me in line so I don't veer off back into high-calorie high-carb territory!

 

[seabre]

Ok kamikat - So your aim now is stay on refeed and I bet if you do that 100% you will still loose v well!!! 4lb was brill last week - I bet you were so delighted!!! You have got to a great stage now - just noticing you are more or less at my goal, lucky, lucky you!!!
At least the refeed will allow you to fit in all your social occasions and still feel like you are not cheating - there is still a plan to stick to and I bet you will - You are very strong willed, had a lot of tough situations thrown at you in the last 5 weeks and look what you acheived through all of that - GO YOU!!!
Today I am wearing a pair of jeans I bought 2 years ago and would never come close to buttoning on me and to top it all they are loose enough that I am sitting here "relaxing" in them tonight - I would normally have to change into my pjs to be comfortable at night as jeans would be digging into me!! I am only mad I haven't wore them sooner as I can feel they'll soon be too big and I'll be into a smaller size!!!
After my MELTDOWN yesterday I am back with renewed determination!! Went to netball last night and worked my butt off and had 20 mins on vibroplate exercising this morning - getting to love it!! Really makes you feel worked out - if you know what I mean!

 

[Kamikat]

Heh, to me I still feel really far away from my goal - if I was skinnymindy's weight I'd be delighted We're never happy with what we have, are we? I was planning to go straight into full keto, but the friend who's hosting the dinner on Saturday rang me to say that he's planning on serving a non-keto meal since it's otherwise hard to cater for 16 people. So I'll see how that goes, I'm not sure if I'll keto straight after that or if I'll stick with the refeed diet which does allow some carbs a little longer. I'll see what happens when I weigh in next week.
Woo congrats on those jeans Sounds like you had a great workout too

 

[skinnymindy]

Ha ha yes we are never happy, I agree. Although I think I will be delighted when I get to goal am drinking 4ltrs water and doing my 5k training every day at lunchtime in a bid to be at maximum weightloss. Fingers crossed it works.

It's good that your friend let you know in advance that the food wouldn't be keto friendly at the dinner party rather than not saying anything and you not being prepared for that. You must be excited about it! Food glorious food! Am tres envious. My hubby is still on his keto diet and has gone from 15st5 to 14st2 in 4 weeks so I reckon you will fly it on keto diet. Xxx

 

[Kamikat]

I'm envious that you have your gym right there My nearest gym is a) far too expensive for me, and b) a good half-hour walk so I wouldn't feel motivated to go even if I could afford it! I did the Couch to 5k challenge after LT a few years ago, it helped that it was so summer so I had good dry weather, and we were 5 minutes' walk from some woods where there were good tracks to run along.

In fairness this friend and his girlfriend are also on keto (he's lost so much weight on it, he's inspired me) but they're taking the evening off, to be honest I'm a little worried that I'll eat too much which has always been my biggest downfall... On day 3 of refeed, having had a small meal with carbs in (even then it's half of what the refeed guidelines say, I'm far too full to have any more!) I still feel like I'm cheating. Until weigh-in day I can see myself overdoing the scales

Gah I just remembered I was meant to phone the pharmacist for refeed advice today, oops... hopefully she's in tomorrow, otherwise I'll phone on Monday.

 

[skinnymindy]

Yeah I'm really lucky with having the gym conveniently at work. And d'ya know what? I'm actually starting to enjoy my runs - don't know whats happening to me!!!! Could you do an at home fitness programme like insanity or one of the Davina McCall ones? Or get a small trampoline and a stepper? Argos are brillo for reasonably priced home fitness equipment. I can only imagine that the refeeed is actually quite scary as you've made such progress and are worried about any slip ups. You seem so motivated though that I'm sure you will keep control over it.

One downside of running more regularly - feeling extremely hungry. Sob. Hopefully scales will be kind to me....Are you going to start a Keto diary on here? I would love to read what your menu plans are like so that I can start planning my own.

 

[Kamikat]

That's great that you're enjoying your runs! I'll try to get back into running in the new year, that runner's high is awesome.

Refeed is scary :/ to be honest it was scarier last time I did LT, probably because then I'd almost reached my goal, but also now I have an idea of what I'll move onto rather than being on my own. I'm not sure if I'll keep a keto diary as such here, I tried that when I keto-ed earlier this year but the low-carb area of the forums were so quiet that I'd get maybe two responses a week, and it wouldn't be fair to have keto food-talk here while you're all on LT. I'll still be about though

 

[Kamikat]

Odd LT non-scale victory: went to rest my hand on my stomach in its normal position, felt only air

 

[skinnymindy]

Love it Kamikat!!! Must be a great feeling

 

[Kamikat]

Refeed Day 4
Feeling shivery, sneezy and peeing like mad, it's almost like when I went into ketosis. Strange.

 

[seabre]

Sounds good Kamikat!!! Nothing like "real " results vs scale results - It is so much more satisfying! I had a similar experience today - The jeans I had bought 2 years ago that I could never get into until last week, are actually so loose now they were falling down today! I was so delighted - but kinda reluctant to get a new pair in case they only do me a short while too!!!! On the other hand my scales have not budged since Mon and I am beating myself up every morning about my meltdown on Tues, how could I have been sooooo stupid! Still the jeans thing is keeping me firmly on plan for the time being anyway - Am very interested in your refeed experiences Kamikat!!! If it continues to go well I may well be following you!!!

 

[Kamikat]

That's great about the jeans Don't worry any more about the slip-up, it happened and you've picked yourself and moved on, so well done on that!
The party today was great, tried to not feel bad about leaving leftovers on my plate. It's hard. And I found myself picking at snacks half-mindedly - bad habit! The scales probably won't be happy on Monday, but tomorrow it's back to sensible eating.

 

[seabre]

Glad you had a good time Kamikat!!! Everyone needs some fun and it sounds like you kept yourself in check too!! Being disciplined is a great confidence boost for staying on track. I am nervous about the scales tom but looking forward to a good clean week next week. Have a night out on Sat and so looking forward to wearing one of the dresses that have been hanging in my wardrobe redundant for the last 2 years!!! Good luck for the week ahead - We can do this

 

[Kamikat]

Ah nice, that dress will feel so good on you Next weekend I have two fancy dress parties, eek! Exciting but need to go clothes shopping, which I generally dread...

 

[Nasi]

Hi Kamikat. I been reading your diary and it is very insightful..

I just wanted to ask, do you use the flabjakes instead of the shakes or as a snack? really confused at this point, My pharmaciest gave me all shakes for the week and five flabjakes and said that they are for when you feel REALLLY HUNGURY,,, I had one last night and did not like it and I had one earlier(caramel one) and loved it,. but as i was finishing off , I started to read your diary and got confused about the whole extra flabjack..

thanks in advance.

 

[Kamikat]

Hi Nasi! I've been having coconut flapjacks instead of shakes, I found them a lot easier when I was out and about instead of having to take a shaker with me everywhere. Do you mean the caramel maintenance bars? (I'm sure that the only flapjack flavours on full Lipotrim are coconut and peanut.) I wasn't allowed anywhere near those while on full lipotrim! I'm about to start having those as snacks as part of refeed/maintenance, strange that your pharmacist would give them to you at this point though. How're you finding Lipotrim so far, and how long have you been doing it for?

 

[skinnymindy]

I did a bit of research on lipotrim website and those caramel bars are definitely part of the maintenance programme. Pharmacist should not be giving those to you at this point (you're only after starting aren't you?). I'd say you should probably call into them/give them a ring as a mistake like that could totally mess with your weightloss.