Tales of a Synner - time to track and take action!

[porkscratching]

A new diary - for a new and refocused me. Long may it last.
Had great early success with SW but then I got complacent and fell into old eating habits whilst kidding myself it was "On Plan". Yes - I am a SW abuser! I found that by having green days I could have 6 slices of Dunnes better for you bread with 5 low cheese triangles and still have all my syns left for alpen light bars or even a piece of cake. And eat potatoes. Like really - who was I fooling? Justified it by going for 10k walks and gym circuits .... Guess who has struggled to lose weight?!?
So - wheat and wheat substitutes (even oats) are a binge trigger food for me & so I am going to restrict these for a while and see how I get on. And perhaps most importantly try to get to the point were " I eat until I am full" not eat until the plate is empty or eat the kids leftovers as it's a waste and sure it means I wont need dinner but who am I fooling as I'm hungry a few hours later ....
Water - I used a water calculator and it said I should drink over 4 litres a day But perhaps I put I was a camel not a woman .... aiming for 2 1/2 litres water plus a few cups of tea.

Breakfast - 2 turkey rashers, 2 tomatoes, lettuce and a low low cheese triangle (1/3 HEA)
cup of tea.

 

[Faith_111]

Here to follow hunny. So happy to have you back!!! You CAN do this xx

http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/289931-faith-my-weight-loss-journey.html

 

[porkscratching]

Well that didn't last long. Show me the self sabotage train and I'll jump aboard. I am such an emotional over eater it's ridiculous.
Started with my ex ringing before 11am to say he was going to drop kids off shortly - no probs, thought I'd take them out to the park and give the dog a walk. Three hours later I'm still twiddling my thumbs and getting a bit pissed off. When he did show at half 2 my youngest had a big egg lump on her head where she had fallen, so he brought her home as he didn't know what to do. Went to Dr and he said to monitor her, not let her sleep etc etc. Got home and let kids make biscuits, while they were in the oven ex rang to say he didn't want the kids overnight anymore (he has them Fri night 7pm til about 11am 3 times a month) as they wont do as they're told and then cry - told him it was cos he kept them up too late and he starts getting thick about how he has to work etc etc. Ended up he either got cut off or hung up but meanwhile the biscuits have burned. Kids are now crying about the flipping biscuits, I'm stressed and then my new partner rings to say his daughter is now refusing to come and visit him as she doesn't like him being in a relationship (we're together 18 months).
I ate the flipping burned biscuits - the least 3 singed got stuffed into my gob along with some mashed potato I was making for the kids dinner. Like wtf - were can I buy a bag of self control?
I was going to pretend it didn't happen and start again tomorrow but this diary is about facing up to this stuff. So there it is. Roll on Sunday - it can't get much worse .....

 

[Faith_111]

Oh sweetie, that sounds rough. Food is so emotional so don't beat yourself up about it. You've had a stressful day. Try and eat as well as you can for the rest of the day. Huge hugs xxxxxxxx

http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/289931-faith-my-weight-loss-journey.html

 

[porkscratching]

Oh sweetie, that sounds rough. Food is so emotional so don't beat yourself up about it. You've had a stressful day. Try and eat as well as you can for the rest of the day. Huge hugs xxxxxxxx

http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/289931-faith-my-weight-loss-journey.html

Thanks hun I eventually reined myself in. lol.

 

[porkscratching]

When I started SW I was really focused & I need to go back to that - it took time, which I now say I haven't got - to keep me in the right mindset. I used Tony Robbins and an E-Bay weight loss cd using visualisation and hypnosis. Not only did I find the plan easy, I was enthusiastic and nothing would really have tempted me to stray. Now old habits are creeping in and I'm getting frustrated with myself. So after posting this I am going to spend 10 more minutes here and then do 20 minutes visualisation - no better time to start.
After yesterday's demise of resolve, I finally drew a line under the day having eaten 3 homemade biscuits (burned!), 1/3 tub of tesco finest mash and a ryvita with a low low triangle.
So looking back, I guess it could have been much, much worse.
Kids were up with the lark this morning and by 8.30 am I was at the local garage stocking up on breakfast supplies (I was going to be lazy and buy from the food counter but it looked awful)
Had 3 rashers, 1 tomato and 1 slice black pudding (2 syns) with some tea.
Walked the dog - had planned to do our 10k walk but had really niggly lower backache - which is a combo of period pain and bunged up pain! So ended up doing 7k instead.
Hungry but not ifkwim - so had a cup a soup - had no idea they were so high in syns - 5 syns! Eek.
Got some birthdays coming up next week and so I better get some cards made.

 

[porkscratching]

Weigh in - a day late but 13 stone 7lb.

 

[Faith_111]

A massive WELL DONE!!!!!!! That's brilliant xx Although I don't know much about SW, I do know that 5 syns is quite high - and for a cuppa soup?! Shocking :s

I love visualisation techniques and am currently reading (among my 78 other books that I read simultaneously yet never seem to finish!) a book on creative visualisation from the dummies range. I've read a few but it's got to be in my top 5 of visualisation books. So easy to understand the techniques etc. I am using it for dating ATM but will use it for weight loss too xx

http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/289931-faith-my-weight-loss-journey.html

 

[porkscratching]

A massive WELL DONE!!!!!!! That's brilliant xx Although I don't know much about SW, I do know that 5 syns is quite high - and for a cuppa soup?! Shocking :s

I love visualisation techniques and am currently reading (among my 78 other books that I read simultaneously yet never seem to finish!) a book on creative visualisation from the dummies range. I've read a few but it's got to be in my top 5 of visualisation books. So easy to understand the techniques etc. I am using it for dating ATM but will use it for weight loss too xx

http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/289931-faith-my-weight-loss-journey.html

Thanks hun - I'm just looking for a sts this week - not sure I trusted the scales! Although it was the ones I always use at the chemist. Can you PM the books you'd recommend most? I'm a real beginner but really interested in learning more - nlp is another one I've been online reading about.

 

[porkscratching]

Weather has been awful and I slacked off walking for the last 2 days as I had cards to make and it's so much easier being creative without 2 little helpers! DD2 goes to Montessori 9.30 - 12.15 and it's my window of opportunity to try and fit everything in. Anyhow, did an hour walking/jogging on the woodland paths - I find it really gets my muscles working more than the gravelled paths and home to start a big beef stew for dinner tonight. Taking kids swimming with my friend and her little ones and we'll do doubt be hungry afterwards!
Breakfast was 2 maple rashers with mushrooms, tomato and a little slice of black pudding (2 syns) & only had tea and water since. Dinner is beef stew - no potatoes with steamed cauliflower.
Ooops, got to run - late for creche ....

 

[Faith_111]

Thanks hun - I'm just looking for a sts this week - not sure I trusted the scales! Although it was the ones I always use at the chemist. Can you PM the books you'd recommend most? I'm a real beginner but really interested in learning more - nlp is another one I've been online reading about.

I tried PMing you but it keeps deleting. Think it's something to do with my new upgrade on my iPad but here's my message that I I tried to send:

Hiya! I'm no way an expert but the books I love love love are:

The power of your subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy - The language is slightly old school but he's really amazing and his techniques really do work!

Creative visualisation for dummies (dummies range), by Nixon

The Genie Within:Your subconscious mind by Harry Carpenter

How your mind can heal your body by Dr David Hamilton (I love all of his books)

You can Heal your life by Louise L Hay (amazing lady)

Excuse me your life I'd waiting by Lynn Grabhorn

These should keep you busy! X

http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/289931-faith-my-weight-loss-journey.html

 

[porkscratching]

thanks for that - will have a look at the weekend. Enjoy your trip and time with your friends - take care x

 

[porkscratching]

Ended up having a pear before swimming as I got a bit light headed - I think it's a side effect of carb reducing. Dinner was delicious but used a casserole mix packet but it was between 4 of us - so 1.5 syns and had a 70 cal protein bar with a cup of tea - 3.5 syns and 8 raspberries with 2 tsp caramel sauce which I'll log as 4 syns.
So daily total syns - 12
Bread and grains - nil.
HEA - semi skim milk in tea
HEB - hmmm, not sure I managed one
Happy that I've only ate today when I was hungry - not because the clock said it was meal time.
Jeans are really loose, which feels great but definitely need a belt before I go trying to walk in them, suffered builders sag whilst shopping in Penneys for new pjs.

 

[porkscratching]

Another hour of walking/jog this morning - really noticing the change in the season and took a while to get warmed up. Late breakfast of lean ham, mushrooms and tomatoes with tea and an early dinner of curried koftas with brown rice, green beans, cauli and mangetout. My portions are definitely getting smaller but I'm certainly never hungry. After dinner I had the last tablespoon of ice cream in the tub with half a dozen raspberries & 2 squares of milk chocolate - which I didn't enjoy much, it was just we opened a big bar a few days ago, so I'll know I can give the choccy a miss next time.
I ate the leftover crust off dd's sandwich, proper white batch bread - supposedly being wheat free - ooops but it was yum. I love crusts - I love bread full stop it just doesn't love me.
Not sure what to have for supper, not much in the fridge - maybe some spicy butternut squash chips.
Aqua aerobics and then walking dog in the morning. Really got this exercise thing into my routine & I really miss it if I can't get out for at least a walk every day. Must start the kettlebells again - as my jelly belly is now out of proportion to rest of me. Someone gave me a slendertone belt which I thought I'd use whilst driving or doing the cleaning, surely it can only be good, left it on the sofa last week and the dog ate the sticky gel pads off it! Found two of them today whilst poop scooping the grass today - and no I wont be using them again!

 

[Faith_111]

Hello lovely hope you're having fab Sunday! Eeeeeeek to the dog eating the gel pads!!! Nope I wouldn't use them again either!

 

[porkscratching]

Hello lovely hope you're having fab Sunday! Eeeeeeek to the dog eating the gel pads!!! Nope I wouldn't use them again either!

Hello missy, hope all is going well with you. Ordered new gel pads so I'll be buzzing next week!

Weigh in today on different scales as usual ones out of action - go to chemist, so went to another - same type of scale - different result!
12 stone 13.5lb ! I don't believe it but gonna be under 13 stone for the week at least and see what next week brings.
I was seriously cutting my grains - apart from dd's crust this week had 2 portions brown rice and one bowl of porridge (and omg it was gorgeous - never thought I could say that about porridge!) but while my belly feels less bloated find it hard to believe I lost 7lb this far into my diet.
Happy though.
Food Today - pear and a plum, tea with millk HEA
Lunch - bowl porridge - with dried fruit 2 HEB's and 1/2 HEA
Dinner - Grilled pork chop, green cabbage and stir fry veg and tea with milk
Dessert - Strawberries, blueberries and melon with organic low fat yogurt

 

[porkscratching]

All over the place with food today - going to call it a Red day and see how it stacks up ....
Breakfast - Porridge with dried fruit (half semi skim milk and half water) 2 HEB and 1/2 HEA
Tea with semi skim 1/2 HEA
Lunch - squash and red pepper soup
Dinner - 2 bacon medallions, 2 slices butternut squash, mushrooms, tomato and green beans. 6 Strawberries.
Snack - celery and low low cheese with black pepper HEA

OK - doesn't look too bad. Pleased I skipped the bread with lunch - it was homemade and looked gorgeous, I ordered a green salad side but it came drowned in oily dressing full of wholegrain mustard & it didn't even taste nice so I left it. But having porridge in the morning makes me want more carbs later in the day - however, I am really enjoying the porridge at the minute. I am wondering though if I should have it after I take the dog for our morning jog/walk thing ....

 

[chocolate_bananas]

Hi, loved reading your diary it made me laugh, when you described your binge and your dog eating the gel pads and the saggy bum! Thanks for making me smile!

 

[Faith_111]

Hope you have a fab day today xxxxxx

 

[Sheanin]

Subscribing to this, you sound just like me! I hold my hand up to emotional eating...its been the cause of my ridiculously fluctuating weight my whole life and bread is a total MINEFIELD for me! Show me the croissants and I'm on them like a ravenous dog in seconds, then I go into punish mode, followed by 'abort and just eat 6 muffins with nutella and a few bags of crisps'.

Your exercise regime is impressive, how long ago did you start building it all into your routine? I've just begun my plan (SW EE but will prob mix it up with red/green days) and a teeny bit of exercise every other day, sticking to baby steps for now cos a)anything more than that makes me look and feel like I'm in the throes of labour again and b) I have this nasty little habit of going at everything full throttle then burning out.

Anyway, loving your diary, hope today is an awesome day for you!