Talk to me about Lighterlife...

[MrsT]

I am a 34 year old, married with two children and a BMI of 43. I have tried virtually every diet under the sun including Cambridge but with limited success.

In October I had a blood clot on my lung and since then I have been on blood thinners, the issue is mainly down to the size of my legs which are massive. I have very bad veins and they get extremly painful.

My doctor has recommended LL as he likes the counselling aspect of the diet as well as removing food choices from me whilst I re-educate myself. Mentally I know what I am doing is wrong and I am abusing my body but I cannot stop, believe me the blood clot was extremly scary and painful, plus being away from my children whilst hospitilised was traumatic for us all.

I want to take control but I want to make the right "life" choice if that makes sense, I don't want just another diet, I need to see and feel results.

I work full time and find I am generally grabbing things for convenience. My parents have generously (they know how unhappy I am) offered to pay for me to follow the programme and my Mum has even offered to do it with me although her BMI is a lot lower. I have a lot of support around me, but I worry about:

- will I put the weight back on?
- will I lose more than on a conventional diet?
- How will I cope without food? it rules my day from morning to night, but I can honestly say I don't enjoy it.
- Is it a good example to be setting to my children?

God I must sound like a crazy woman. I tried for 6 years to fall pregnant with my youngest who is two, I was told I would never have children (my eldest is my not biologically mine although we are mother and daughter in all senses of the titles - she is nearly 14) and now I feel like I am failing her and me. I won't go on holiday, I wont take her swimming, I have little or no energy by the time the weekends come around and I am fighting a losing battle. I could have died in October and left them all alone, I feel like a selfish failure.

Sorry that turned into a ramble! any answers to the above would be greatly appreciated.

Nx

 

[nzmegs]

Mrs T, I really feel for you. it sounds to me like you have hit rock bottom. Without wanting to spout clichés, the only way from here is up...I understand that your recent health scare must have really hit home about the changes you need to make - but I also understand the fear you have about whether this is right for you and if you will be able to achieve your goals.

if you have a long road ahead it can seem insurmountable. But consider this. Just a 10% loss of weight will significantly improve your health and has to be worth trying. make that your first goal.Just do it in small steps.

In answer to your questions - you will only put the weight back on if you fail to complete the program (including management) and go back to your old eating habits. LL is no different to any other diet in this respect.

You will lose more quickly on this diet - possibly 10 pounds to a stone in the first week and an average of 3-5 every week after that. I now have a normal BMI but lost 4.5 pounds this week.

You will cope without food - provided you have the willpower to get through the first week or so. ketosis is a lovely thing and suppresses your appetite. Stick to the plan 100% and you will not be hungry.

I worried about my kids too - but I had to realise my old habits were a much worse example to set. Diet soft drinks by the truckload (even though I won't let them drink soft drinks), chocolates, crisps, erratic behaviour around food, constant talk about diets and what I was allowed to eat that week yet never managing to do what I said I would. I could go on. I bet you have a similar story to tell.

Now my kids are proud of me for finally reaching my goal and it shows them that following a structured plan to deal with something which is wrong in your life is a good thing. They accept that I eat a little differently to them for the time being, but they are so impressed and my husband even more so.

yes it is true being overweight holds you back, but in six months time (such a short amount of time if you look at it objectively) you could be doing all of the things with your kids that you want to do. You could be happier, healthier, more active and above all, proud of yourself. believe me it feels amazing.

You need to prioritise yourself. This means making losing weight your main focus for a few months. Don't arrange events which will leave you exposed to lapsing unless you are sure you are strong enough to cope with it. Put yourself ahead of your job and even your kids for now because it will be hard and you need to have that focus. But with the support you have, you should be fine.

Good luck Mrs T. Take your docs advice and call now. PS I don't work for LL by the way! I just lost three stone and I am beside myself with praise for what LL has done for me - after all other diets failed.

 

[jenm]

Nzmegs you are great with words & very inspirational x

 

[Mayzee]

Hi Mrs T. I totally understand how you feel, I have just started LL, now on day 3. I have over 3 stone to lose and all the same questions went round my head, I chose LL because I want to see fast results which will hopefully spur me on to a new healthier lifestyle. I hope it helps to know we are out there to support each other, and I wish you well whatever you choose to do.

 

[Joiya]

Hello Mrs T.

When I started on LLT I had a BMI very similar to yours. I've been maintaining my end weight (with a BMI of around 24) for a year now, and may even have lost a little more.

To answer your questions, just from my own experience and thoughts having gone through the programme:

Will you put the weight back on? That all depends on how seriously you take the program and how much you really want to change how you live - not just lose weight fast. Any diet can be successful, but what you do after you finish dieting is what really makes the difference. The Route to Management part of the programme is, for most people, an essential part of this. It slowly reintroduces you to real food and helps you find a balance that's right for you. Ongoing management of that after the course is up to you - but you can always come to your counselor for a little support, to weigh in every now and then or just to talk. You also should never be afraid of asking your friends and family for support when you feel you might be slipping. You'll also learn over time, when you're back to normal eating, that it's actually OK to be "bad" every now and then. The important part is not letting those little things every now and then turn into daily habits.

Will you lose more than a conventional diet? If you stick to the programme, then yes. LLT is a ketosis-based diet, and works through meal replacement. It gives you a very precise balance of calories and carbs (together with all the nutrients your body needs) to allow you to burn fat for energy but without letting your body starve. For someone with so much weight to lose, like me, being able to see and feel the results of doing the programme was a huge, huge part of it being successful. It's very hard to stay motivated when you don't feel any different. And, after about 6-8 weeks, the people around you will start to notice too.

How will you cope without food? This is different for different people. It wasn't so hard for me. I don't have a family or anyone to cook for, my friends were all perfectly supportive of me becoming something of a hermit and not going out for dinner etc. with them while I was on the programme, and I could have a soup foodpack at work for lunch without anyone raising any eyebrows. What I should clarify though, is that the "coping" part of it is purely mental. Your body won't need the food, or crave it particularly after the first few days; it's your mind that needs to be trained into a different way of thinking. That's where the counseling comes into play. The group that you work in will help you to identify the reasons why you have the attitude you currently have to food, and help you to overcome those and change the way you think about it, and the way you react to certain things. You'll also have the support of other people who are going through the same struggle as you, which really is invaluable. And, in a pinch, you can always hop online and make a post on here, and doubtless there'll be plenty of people willing to lend you some moral support. My main piece of advice on this however is: Don't ever feel ashamed for being on this diet. Don't feel ashamed or anxious or self-conscious about saying "no" when someone offers you something. This is your choice. You're making a huge positive change to your life and you should be proud! Sometimes other people don't realise it, but that's their problem, not yours.

Is it a good example to be setting your children? I'm not a parent but surely if you can't control your eating, you cause yourself serious health problems and potentially end up in a critical condition or dying because of this, then that's the bad example. This diet isn't for everyone; no one who is just a little overweight or "feels fat" but really isn't, should ever be allowed to do it. Personally I think that you can set a fantastic example to your children by making a change to your life that is going to improve your health, extend your life and change your lifestyle in such a way that you can do a lot more with your kids than you're probably able to at the moment. Seeing their mother achieve something like that can only set them a good example. Also, I think children are a lot more resilient than a lot of people give them credit for, and you might actually find them to be a source of strength for you when you're struggling to keep it going.

Hope this helps and I wish you all the best.

 

[LucyItani]

Nzmegs hit the nail on the head.. very well put!! MrsT i would definatly consider LL, i am only 19 and with a bmi of 36 am in obese category 2- I have always struggled with my weight as i have an unhealthy relationship with food- My Parents have always encouraged healthy eating but this is something i have brought upon myself. I would give it a go and see how amazing you will feel after yor first weigh-in! The people on here are fantastic and if you are having a down-day they really lift your spirits and make you realise why you are doing this! Already by my fourth day i am looking at food so differently, i see it as fuel and not something i necessarily have to enjoy (which by the way is something i never used to imagine myself saying!) Give it a chance and see how you go!
Good Luck!
x

 

[weasey]

There have been some excellent replies already so I won't directly answer your questions, as I think they've been covered. However, Irecently wrote a diary piece on how I viewed my time on LL so far. I've copied it below just in case it is useful for you.

In a wierd way I'm really pleased that I had such a colossal amount of weight to lose at the start of my journey! It has meant that I have spent a huge amount of time on the programme and this has really helped me. Below is a complete brain dump which is really interesting for me - but feel free to skip reading it!

I've been through a number of stages...

STAGE 1 (weeks 1 to 6) - Finding it all quite strange. Trying the different packs. Finding that I'd made a huge mistake in getting 7 porridges for my first week as I found them horrid - but eating them anyway because I'm good at sticking to rules! Learning to make the packs. Working out how to deal with lunch at work and, even worse, work lunches with clients. Seeing all the people on here who had lost lots of weight and being really pleased for them but not really believing that I would join them. Was horrified when I read something about having to eat differently at the end or all the weight would go back on. Didn't realise I would have to change my whole life (although it was obvious when I considered it logically) and didn't feel ready to commit to that. Decided to worry about that later! Had strange food related dreams and really missed veggies. Also a fantastic time health wise as my blood sugar came completely under control and I came off all of my diabetes medication! This gave me a huge boost, which got me past my 1 lb loss in week 2 (camomile tea - didn't know it could be a problem!). Thought the councelling was a bit silly really...

STAGE 2 (weeks 7 to 23) - Food packs became normal - just the way I ate. It was at this point when I realised at I would actually reach goal! With over 100lbs to lose in total this is a big thing. Bit bored with the packs so tried a few different thinks - such as a latte with the vanilla pack. Stopped worrying about the diet and started worrying about how on earth I would maintain at the end! How would I stop myself from overeating in the way I used to? What techniques could I use? I'm hugely into commitment, if I commit to do something I will do it no matter what and this works even if the commitment is to myself. However, in order to commit to myself I have to be certain that it is something I want to do and be very clear - just 'don't put the weight back on' isn't enough. I decided I would develop a list of rules for myself during my time on LL which would help me to maintain at the end. Also, when I went out to restaurants with other people I would look at the menu and think about what I would have when I was maintaining - and if it was something not too healthy then what would I do about it? I viewed this as practicing! Also realised that I was looking forward to being more active. Hubby and I decided to go on an activity holiday in over a year's time so that when I finish I can set myself fitness goals to achieve - I feel like I get motivated by seeing improvements and movements - don't feel like the only goal being 'maintain' would be enough for me - but fitness goals would be just the ticket. Medically still great with sugar under control. Was understanding the need for the councelling - although there were only two of us in the class for much of this time and the councellor kept doing her own thing instead of going through the books so I was getting quite frustrated. The break from food really helped me to understand the difference between just wanting food and feeling hungry. Didn't care how much I lost as long as it was going in the right direction. Put on 1 lb in my first milk week - interesting - perhaps I'm sensitive to carbs? Was also considering not being vegetarian at the end (had been one for 20 years) as it would mean that I would be eating completely different foods at the end and I thought that would help me.

STAGE 3 (weeks 24 to 27) - Decided to take control of my own councelling. When the LLC said that's all she wanted to cover so we could go but there were still 30 mins left I would fill the time with asking questions I had and talking about my reactions to things. I told her that I was very interested in the TA side and asked whether we could do a TA module. Much happier now that I have been assertive with regards to my councelling. Also felt ready to start 'practicing' with real food rather than imaginary! Still had a few stone to lose so didn't want to move to RTM. Was thinking about lite - but wanted to be sure it was for the right reasons and not just because I fancied food! Also was at a size 16 by the end of this stage and having to reassess myself and my body image. Decided to definitely stop being vegetarian - not because a veggie diet is bad for you but because I needed to change the way I ate and this would help me in achieving that.

STAGE 4 (weeks 28 to 30 [now!]) - Moved onto the lite programme. I viewed this as a precursor to RTM - a few months of eating one meal a day to learn portion sizes and also to see how I would behave when food was reintroduced - a bit scared about that! I knew I could go back to 4 packs if necessary so it felt a bit safer! On my second day I really really really wanted my meal - and ended up having it an hour early - not because of hunger. After I'd had it I still wated more and I ended up having my supper a few hours early and having a bar as I thought that might help the cravings. I didn't go off plan but I was very worried. Ever since then I haven't had any problems at all! I know that when I go through RTM and reintroduce other foods it may kick cravings off again and that when I'm maintaining I'll have all sorts of issues to contend with. However, I now know that I'll be able to maintain - in the same way as around week 6 when I knew I would get to goal. I no longer worry about stopping myself from eating the way I did before. I don't even like the idea of those foods. I'm loving the way I'm eating right now. I know I will hit problems and I am preparing my list of rules to help with that. But I am no longer scared of eating normally - just excited about my new life!

I expect to stay on lite for another couple of months then move to RTM. I intend to take RTM very slowly - perhaps spend 3 weeks in each stage instead of 1. I expect RTM and maintenance to be the toughest of all of the phases on this journey for me and I want to take it as slowly as I need to in order to achieve success. I honestly believe that if I hadn't had as much weight to lose I wouldn't have got as much out of this journey so in a strange way it has really helpled me!

 

[jenm]

Wow what an inspirational extract from your diary! A lot of that clicks with feelings I've had in the past & got now (I'm a returner) x

 

[rosieposie]

Oh so many thanks from me too for that extract
I'm also a returner (with more to lose this time) and I need to learn more lessons this time and you've covered lots of issues for me so that I can stop yo yoing
Thanks again

 

[nzmegs]

Mrs T, How are you feeling about things today? Have you decided yet or has all of this just confused you more I think you can see that we all love LL and what it has done for us. But the decision is yours and only you know if you have the commitment to see it through.

 

[weasey]

Thanks jenm and rosieposie. I actually wrote it for myself as I wanted to get my head straight about the journey so far but a few people have said that they found it useful and I'm so pleased! The journey is different for everyone but anything which helps people to see what might be coming is useful in my view. I wish LL were more open about what the stages of RTM are so that I can plan it!

 

[MrsT]

Thank you so much for all your responses, it really is good to see so many positive accounts of peoples time on LL.

I discussed it all in depth with my husband and eldest daughter last night and they are both fully supportive of me going for it, we weighed it all up (excuse the pun!) and I have contacted my local counsellor who I am going to meet on Sunday - it is all looking good.

I am feeling amazingly positive for the first time in a very long time and for once do not have the desire to go out and binge because I am strarting my diet soon, I want to take control of my situation, I feel to blame but I need to turn that into positive energy and change the way I am and feel.

I intend to stay on the plan for as long as it takes, I have given myself no time limits as I don't want to set things and then be disapointed. I am however going to set some personal targets which are:

- To continue with my exercise (I currently go to the gym 3-4 times a week, for classes or gym workout) this will continue to be important in my new way of life.
- Be able to stop the blood thinning medications I am currently on
- FEEL healthy - not sluggish or tired or like an old lady!

Someone mentioned planning for social events etc and I have agreed with my husband that for at least the initial 14 weeks I will avoid where I can and he will cover and support me with this.

I feel like I am in the zone and I haven't even started yet!

I am sure I will be back with lots of questions so please bare with me but thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me, it means a lot to share with people who have been in similar situations. It's hard to know how it feels until you are there yourself.

Nx

 

[weasey]

So pleased to see your commitment and enthusiasm! One note though - you may find that you need to reduce your exercise initially, whlilst your body gets into ketosis and gets used to the new calorie level. After a few weeks though you'll be able to start to build up again to your current level of exercise. Good luck on your journey!

 

[nzmegs]

Weasey beat me to it. I agree you will need to be careful about the exercise at first. Just take it easy and see how it makes you feel. You will lose the weight whether you exercise or not, but keeping the habit will help you to maintain when the time comes.

Well done for making the decision. These first heady days can feel so full of potential and just feeling like you are doing something is such a great feeling.

My husband is also incredibly supportive. I discussed this with him before I started as I knew it would affect him too. I have remembered to give him credit for his help along the way because I know it would have been impossible otherwise. I am lucky because he cooks the evening meal and hasn't complained about not being able to go out etc. It doesn't seem to bother him to stay at home with his ever shrinking wife

Your motivation will waiver from time to time and having support at home is useful. One thing i told my husband and kids was that no matter what there is no excuse for me going off the plan. No matter what i told them - they were not to ever accept that that I was "having a night off" or that "one won't hurt" or "the counsellor told me this is OK". They knew that if it isn't in the LL book it isn't OK. Thuis has really kept me on the straight and narrow.

Make sure your family understand the plan as well as you do so you have no excuses - ever.

Good luck. I bet you can't wait. How exciting for you!

 

[Spanglymum]

MrsT, I've only just found your thread. It's silly o clock in the morning, so will post more later, but wanted to say best of luck with LL. I can honestly say it's one of the best things I've ever done.

I have two children and a full time job too - so can tell you how I managed and give you ideas if that would help.

I lost 5 and a half stone a year and a half ago and have maintained and been a size 10/12 for the past year. (I'm tackling a recent blip at the moment but am nipping it in the bud and know why I did it!)

I'm really excited for you. LL can be amazing - particularly the group sessions, which can be eye opening.

 

[MrsT]

Thanks Spanglymum, have only just seen this but any tips would be fantastic. I am on Day 2 and actually finding it fine although have so far not liked the porrdige or chilli. Keep reminding myself to drink more but I am sure I will get better at that. It's lovely to hear of someone who has been through the programme and maintained too, for health reasons alone I need to be one of those people.
x

 

[Spanglymum]

How are you getting on, MrsT? I'm doing a refocus thing (ie a few weeks of packs to resolve a blip) so I'm on day 3 myself.

Tips? Keep focusing on the positive as much as possible. You're doing a really great thing for yourself. LL is an amazing journey... You can find out loads of stuff you never knew about yourself (or knew but were trying to deny). I sometimes found it difficult to cook dinner for my hubby and children, but if I was finding it really hard I would go and have my shake or soup in another room once I'd dished up, and read a fashion magazine at the same time. (usually we try to have as many meals as we can together as a family).

I was very pragmatic and straightforward about it with my eldest, who is nearly 7 (and was 5 when I was doing the programme). I just said I was using the soups and shakes to get the vitamins and things I needed to stay healthy while I took some extra weight off. I wanted to focus on the practical side of it rather than the emotional side, because she is totally balanced around food (as is her sister) and I'm very conscious of wanting neither of them to pick up dodgy emotional messages from me around food.

If you're struggling at any point, make a cup of (black) tea. (I found lapsang souchong with sweeteners makes a nice change! Or nettle - without sweeteners.) or have a big glass of water. Distract yourself. Once you're in ketosis, remind yourself that any 'hunger' is a figment of your imagination! Weird, but true. And it gets easier over time.