Teenagers doing LL?

[helenn]

We have a teenager in our group who is just coming up to be 18. This is going to sound very mean, but I am having a real struggle with dealing with this. Partly I have teenagers at home and coming out to hear more angst is hard. Mostly though my issues revolve around the fact that she is only a little overweight, about 2 and a bit stone and her mother is bringing her and seems to be exherting losts of pressure on her to perform. The result is a teen who is easily upset and like most teens demands a lot of time. I know that this is sounding very callous, but a disproportionate amount of the groups time is regularly being spent on dealing with upset and it means often not everyone is able to contribute as they should be able and it shortens the time then left to work on the activities that are really helping me to work on my issues with food.
What thoughts do you have on how I can get deal with this?

 

[lucylastic]

Hmm, tricky one! Firstly, I am surprised if she's not yet 18 she's allowed to do it, I would have thought you would have to be at least 18.

I think I would speak to the LLC about it, explain that you feel this individual is taking up a lot of the group time, which is disadvantaging you and the other members, and see if the LLC has any suggestions on how to tackle this - maybe she could spend 10 mins before or after the group with her 1-1 if she feels she needs it, or maybe just by making her aware you feel like this will help her manage things a little better, by ensuring the young girl's issues aren't the only focus of the group.

I think it really is a difficult situation, the girl deserves to be listened to and helped, but then so do you and the rest of the group - you're all paying for it, after all.

Good luck with it

 

[Blonde Logic]

With parents permission, they can be under 18. We had a 16 year old for a short time.

Personally, I am all for it - just because I suffered so much with food issues when I was a kid, that to see yongsters now be able to sort themselves out and then lead a much helthier and happier life - I think its wonderful opportunity for them.

BUT - they cannot steal all the time.

I would speak to the LLC, or even just address it in group, and as the group starts, make an announcement that you have something you need help on or to discuss and work through, etcl, and the others should too. If noone speaks up, its only safe to assume the LLC and the teen think no one has anything on their mind that night, so they will just carry on, ya know?

I know you are not callous or selfish, but just remember her loss is as important as everyones - even if its a lesser amount - and she shouldn;t be faulted for being at a different age emotionally - hence the "angst".

But do stand up for yourself - your needs are as important as hers.

I hope you can find a way to make it an enjoyable experience for all.

good luck.

x

 

[ThinDilema]

this is a subject close to my heart, although now im am okish with food i was bulimic for 3-4 years from 13-17 (im now 18 nearly 19 and do sometimes still struggle but wouldnt class myself as bulimic anymore ) anyway my eating disorder began when my mum brought me to slimming world, she put alot of pressure on me to 'perform' every week, and feeling the pressure of getting weighed every week at such a tender age really affected me, i disagree with anyone under 18 participating in any diet club which is aimed at adults, classes should be provided simply for children, with less mention on losing weight and more about healthier living! and promoting a healthy body image..not the size 0 thats televised to most teenagers! Problems which adults deal with are very different from the minds of a child and even at 18 people can still be very imature, im lucky that ive dealt with most of my deamons, hence now why i can embark on lighter life, as now i just binge and eat all the wrong foods (i kinda dont know how to be normal)
anyway point is i dont think she should be there, shes obviously not in the right mentallity, and also i didnt think parents are children were allowed in the same group? because most of the issues people have with food are to do with your family????
anyways lovesyou all!
xxx

 

[Blonde Logic]

SOrry you went through what you did Rach. And thanks for sharing something so personal. <hugs>

Its good to hear your viewpoint as you have walked the walk.

I am so glad you are on the road to health, and if it makes you feel better, very few of us know what normal is.
x

 

[ThinDilema]

Thankyou BL Its hard to talk about but im finding the more i do open up and talk the better i feel and the healthier im becoming
I just think people can think their doing right for the kids with slimming clubs, and the children may seem to achieve, but no parent is with their children 24/7, I was an A grade student and very mature and i still got very ill and cracked under the pressure, I think their should be more about healthy living, parents are key, if you see your parents eatting 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, exercising etc your going to do the same, see them eating junk and you'll following, similarly if you see your mum constantly worrying about her weight chances are you'll follow suit..sad but true..
Thats why im determined to lose this shell and get healthy, because i never want my children to go through what i did, what can start of a simply diet can turn into something so evil and dangerous, luckily I have an amazing hubby who's helped me through everything

Sorry for the long post just something so close to my heart!
Lovesyou all
xxx

 

[ThinDilema]

..Also..
Lighter Life is a diet i would never suggest to anyone under 18, i abused the diet in January your not eating any food, its like 'what if i missed one shake?' thats what pressure can do to teens, and if your only eating 500calories a day anyway missing one pack is a big deal...its such a big thing i realise this now means im becoming the healthy Rachael
Also just because shes a little over weight doesnt mean she could be in danger of becoming ill, I was 180lbs and in an in-patient facility, but i was also 110lbs and in one a few months later lol thats whats dangers yo-yoing and thats what one failed diet or negative pressure can do...


Right sorry im really rambling!!

xxxx

 

[helenn]

Thank you for sharing your experience ThinD. I think part of my concerns over this girl is that she seems so vulnerable and under such pressure that the diet just doesn't in my mind seem the right course for her and this makes the group feel very uncomfortable.

Her mother does not come to the group, but has in the past done LL. She drives her daughter to the group and comes in with her while she is weighed and often pops her head round the door into the group room and will come in and help herself to a drink and have a quick chat with whoever is around. It all comes over as very controlling.