Telling people...

[Memphis]

I would question her motives for making those comments. The very fact she made reference to a cold sore is, in my opinion, quite rude. I would never mention that to someone in fear of hurting their feelings. So that tells me that she's not the nicest person you work with. I think people are often jealous when they see someone
doing well and some people will go out of their way to make the other person feel small.
Dare I say women can be particularly bad for this, especially where weight is concerned. (minimins being a fabulous exception to the rule)
I've only told my partner and one, very close friend. No-one at work has even noticed - shows how much attention they pay.
Also I find it secretly thrilling that I'm doing this and no-one knows. Day four now, getting easier by the day, and I'm sure I am in ketosis (horrid taste in mouth all day ew).
I feel really positive about making this decision to change as I'm sure you do. So remember her nasty comments when you reach target. The look on her face when you are svelte and gorgeous will be all the sweeter.

 

[EllieMellie]

Totally agree with Memphis - the woman really hasn't thought through that comment or she is rude - one or the other.
Glad you liked the pen suggestion - it was the only one I had suitable for a family audience! x

 

[Enough]

I like your strength Memphis (and your sense of humour Ellie!! Haha!)... I feel thoroughly strengthened in my relaxed confidence in relation to my colleague now. I'm sure she thought she was being supportive (in her own, slightly selfish and competitive way! ) ... and actually, I have never doubted that CD is the right thing for me at this point in my life.. so she's free to voice her opinions.. I'm glad we live in a country with freedom of speech.. even for rude people! Ha!

..had my 2nd WI today.. another 4pounds off... don't think I'll share that little fact outside of minimins!

You're right.. it's empowering having a little valuable secret

Thank you everyone!
Vxx

 

[EllieMellie]

Woo Hoo! 4lbs!! Now you can feel fab all day and ignore her negativity! You go, girl! xxx

 

[Enough]

A planned approach...

Thank you Ellie!

I can't believe I've woken up this morning with defensive replies coming up in my mind! It must have upset me more than I'd realised yesterday... I was getting dressed and in the shower saying things like. "Can we change the subject now please, because I don't need your criticism and smug patronising advice".. and "let's drop this shall we, because you haven't said anything supportive since I told you, and I'm now regretting letting you know."

I don't want to come out with these things.. so I need a planned approach...

You're right - I can be more confident about it today.. so let's see if a laugh will work...

in fact... I think I wont use words at all ... each new rude comment, I'm going to think of the good this is doing me, relax and have a little smile.. maybe even a chuckle.. I might even look at the pen in her hand and giggle..

two pronged plan... on my way into work in a mo, I'm going to think of half a dousen things that we like talking about together, and think if there's anything new and interesting for us to talk about that she'll enjoy.. picking up a previous thread with new life in it...

hopefully we can move on to other subjects, and forget I ever mentioned CD..

Here's hoping...

I'll report back at the end of today!!

Thank you guys - this has help LOADS!!!

Vx

 

[sbridge7]

Don't worry about them...she'll be eating her words when she sees you at goal! People are very judgemental and so when I start the CD, I'm planning to keep it to my mum and I, as well as my Aunt who is also on the CD.

 

[toller-girl]

She said that the diet was unhealthy and that I would be likely to put all the weight back on again when I'd finished!

That's what bothers me the most of all the things people say. It really causes you to doubt yourself and makes the move back into eating terrifying. I kept seeing reports of people putting the weight back on, reading the returners threads on here etc and it absolutely terrified me. That's all part of the reason I have put some back on!

The thing is, putting it back on is the best thing for me. I've nipped it in the bud before it got back to the same stage, and I am doing something about it. Now I know if it does go back, it's not permanent, and this time because I feel more relaxed, I'm a lot more confident.

As for replies, you could tell her "the diet may well be dangerous, but not nearly as dangerous as lecturing me about it" or a slightly more diplomatic "I appreciate your concerns and I know it's just because you care, but I have researched this thoroughly, I know the pros and cons and it's not something I've decided on lightly. It's not right for everyone but it's right for me." Try and keep it final, when you say whatever say, be clear in your own mind that what you're saying is the end of the discussion and she will pick up on that and (hopefully) not try to push the issue. If she does, just say "this is my decision and it's not up for discussion" and walk away if you have to.

If you're anything like me and hate confrontation, having a plan will help so you don't cry or agree or just smile and not and then fester on it for ages. This is a brilliant test for you, the diet is all about tests and dealing with things in a new way, so treat it like a challenge and then you can feel proud of yourself when you've done it. :flowers:

 

[Enough]

PENS!!

It was SOOO funnny... I looked down at her pen - and SHE HAD MY PEN!! Haha.. I'd been looking for that!! Hahaha..

wouldn't have spotted and got it back if it wasn't for this thread - So thank you!! Good day, she and I got on fine.. looks like we've both decided to put it to one side and focus on other things...

Vxx

 

[rainbowfrost]

I made the same mistake and told the people I work with and got ....

'that cant be healthy'

'I know a lot of people that have done that funny diet, they have all put their weight back on plus some more'

'Have you lost 9lbs thought you would be able to notice a bit more'

'why dont you eat healthy then maybe you wouldnt put weight on. Cant believe your just living off shakes.'

etc etc I could go on the past few days have been a bit hurtful because everyone thinks its their place to tell me what i should be doing. Its really annoying !! So glad we have here where we can get supported and not judged !!! Your fab guys xxx

 

[EllieMellie]

Firstly, V, I think you are incredibly mature and fair minded. My response would have been abusive I am sure. Or I would have dwelled on it for months! Secondly, never underestimate the power of the pens!! Ha ha! Stationary warfare is the way forward. She takes your pen, you take her stapler.... x

 

[Enough]

SPRUNG!!

Hahahaha - How did you know that I've slowly 'fallen into the habit' of putting the best stappler in my top desk drawer rather than leaving it out! Hahahaha.. Caught red handed!! Haha!

ooh dear... I appear to be back onto the subject of stationery!! I think I need to look up SA (stationery anonymous) and go along to one of their meetings! Haha... :giggle:

Vxx

 

[Latina Inglesa]

I have to say well done for handling it so well, I wouldn't have been able to!

I don't work, I am a SAHM (I do a little freelance Graphic Design work but not much), therefore I don't have colleagues to contend with thank goodness! As I can have all my meals at home I don't have to tell anyone if I don't want to.

I've only told a select few people in real life, however my video diaries are watched by hundreds of people so you can probably imagine some of the feedback that I get lol.

Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent, I just wanted to say well done!

xxx

 

[toller-girl]

Just watched your diary, it's great!

 

[Julie W]

Enough, I always find your replies to my posts amusing and a bit quirky, they always cheer me up, so I'm sorry I missed this one when you were feeling otherwise.

Re: telling people about CD. I've chosen to tell everyone and anybody I don't care what they think and because people know this about me I'm not aware of anyone bothering to say anything negative - you just have to get your head round it to stop others comments affecting you - because at the end of the day you will not change peoples opinions but you can choose to change how they affect you. Understanding why people make comments helps.

My theory on this is:
1. People like overweight colleagues and friends, it boosts their own self image. It's true I've looked at someone on the beach before who has been much larger than me and it's made me feel better. Colleague/friend doesn't like it when overweight friend starts to get slimmer - their own insecurities start to resurface.

2. Similar to above - some people have a need to feel superior to others and when they nolonger get the boost from the image of their overweight friend, they get the feeling of superiority through put downs and negative comments.

3. Some friends feel uncomfortable if their overweight friend nolonger joins in with activities/events involving food and alcohol and can subconciously blame their friend for making them feel uncomfortable, rather than supporting them.

To sum up - don't let others comments get you down. You know the diet works, you're the one getting all the positive results from the diet - weight loss, better health, skin, nails, able to buy nicer cheaper clothes, increased confidence, more positive outlook on life etc. the list goes on. So don't let a few negative comments spoil all this. At the end of the day they are the ones with the problem not you.

Don't own someone else's problem!

 

[furrysmudge]

I so HAD to rep you for that post Julie! xx

 

[Julie W]

I'm sorry Suzie I don't know what 'rep' means I'm 40 - is it something nice?

 

[furrysmudge]

It's a good reputation comment love.......xx

 

[Julie W]

Oh thanks Suzie - rep away! I'm gonna try and weave that into my monthly report at work tomorrow!

 

[furrysmudge]

lolol xx

 

[theresa]

i havent told my husband yet .dont want to tell people at work some wouldnt under stand start cd this week lost a stone with ww took 6 months thats why am give it a go .people who dont have a weight problem dont know how hard it is . good luck to you