The 1st day of the rest of my healthy life!
- Thread starter Shimsham
- Start date
Shimsham
Full Member
DAY 5
Been a great day! Having lost 7lb in four days (it's beginning to sink in now!) I am feeling prepared for week 2 -
bring it on!!
Managed a long walk with baby today AND cooked a veggie meal for next week! That was harder than I was prepared for - parsnips never smelt so good!!
Weekend tomorrow so BF will be eating around me for 2 days as well as needing to feed baby. Gonna get harder but should be in ketosis by then so at least the phsyical hunger will be kept at bay!
Going to look at a venue for our wedding reception on Sunday so that's something to look forward to.
Jeanie x
Been a great day! Having lost 7lb in four days (it's beginning to sink in now!) I am feeling prepared for week 2 -
bring it on!!
Managed a long walk with baby today AND cooked a veggie meal for next week! That was harder than I was prepared for - parsnips never smelt so good!!
Weekend tomorrow so BF will be eating around me for 2 days as well as needing to feed baby. Gonna get harder but should be in ketosis by then so at least the phsyical hunger will be kept at bay!
Going to look at a venue for our wedding reception on Sunday so that's something to look forward to.
Jeanie x
Shimsham
Full Member
Doin' it differently to make a difference
Day 6
Pretty uneventful day just doing mundane household jobs but have really enjoyed spending time as a family today - don't feel that we get to enjoy each others company that often. 'Life' kinda gets in the way.
Had some rare 'me' time this morning while BF took baby for a walk so had time to enjoy a long uniterrupted soak in the bath.
It was then that I began to think about how things were going to be different this time (i.e. not put weight back on like I did after LL).
I realised that one of the problem I faced last time was that my perception of my own body size and shape didn't change at the same pace as my body. Having spent ALL (ooh apart from 5 months last year) of my adult life and much of my childhood being overweight I identified myself as being 'the big one' in any given scenario. This meant that I had lost my identity. I still remember the day I went clothes shopping as I started management and went into the changing room with a size 16 top. It was too big and I went back for a 14. THAT was too big. The grin on my face as I went back for a 12 was almost wide enough to trap me in the cubicle!
A 12? me? 'The big one'?!
So this time it's important that my mind 'shrinks' along with my body.
The question is how to do this?
Well I don't know for sure but I began today by trying to 'like' and in time 'love' my physical self. I scrubbed my skin with a Sanctuary sea salt scrub then moisturised with Bio OIL (Bionic Oil my BF calls it!). This is something I didn't do until I got to goal last time. I have hated my big flabby wobbly body for so many years that I had never thought about what a miraculous thing it really is.
It can grow to be 19 1/2 stone and shrink to 12 stone in 5 months. It can then grow to 18 stone again in 18 months. That deserves respect!!! And out of respect I intend to give it respect by resting it when I get back to a healthy BMI.
Today I felt pride at what my body can do instead of the usual shame at it's appearance.
I also looked back at photo's of me taken when I was slimmer. The pic of me on my avatar was taken on a w/e break in Berlin and I HATED it (always been camera shy-with good reason!). I was 2 months+ pregnant and had began to slowly put weight on again. I thought I looked FAT! See what I mean about perspective??
Anyway, needless to say that I can look at it differently now and was wondering, if I put some photo's of a slimmer me around my home it might help my mind to 'keep pace' with my body? If I get used to looking at myself slim it might be easier to adjust to? dunno but it's worth a try!
Need to give more thought to the 'differences' I can make this time to KEEP IT OFF. As I said before, I KNOW I can get it off so the 6 stone isn't my real target, keeping it off is.
Day 6
Pretty uneventful day just doing mundane household jobs but have really enjoyed spending time as a family today - don't feel that we get to enjoy each others company that often. 'Life' kinda gets in the way.
Had some rare 'me' time this morning while BF took baby for a walk so had time to enjoy a long uniterrupted soak in the bath.
It was then that I began to think about how things were going to be different this time (i.e. not put weight back on like I did after LL).
I realised that one of the problem I faced last time was that my perception of my own body size and shape didn't change at the same pace as my body. Having spent ALL (ooh apart from 5 months last year) of my adult life and much of my childhood being overweight I identified myself as being 'the big one' in any given scenario. This meant that I had lost my identity. I still remember the day I went clothes shopping as I started management and went into the changing room with a size 16 top. It was too big and I went back for a 14. THAT was too big. The grin on my face as I went back for a 12 was almost wide enough to trap me in the cubicle!
A 12? me? 'The big one'?!
So this time it's important that my mind 'shrinks' along with my body.
The question is how to do this?
Well I don't know for sure but I began today by trying to 'like' and in time 'love' my physical self. I scrubbed my skin with a Sanctuary sea salt scrub then moisturised with Bio OIL (Bionic Oil my BF calls it!). This is something I didn't do until I got to goal last time. I have hated my big flabby wobbly body for so many years that I had never thought about what a miraculous thing it really is.
It can grow to be 19 1/2 stone and shrink to 12 stone in 5 months. It can then grow to 18 stone again in 18 months. That deserves respect!!! And out of respect I intend to give it respect by resting it when I get back to a healthy BMI.
Today I felt pride at what my body can do instead of the usual shame at it's appearance.
I also looked back at photo's of me taken when I was slimmer. The pic of me on my avatar was taken on a w/e break in Berlin and I HATED it (always been camera shy-with good reason!). I was 2 months+ pregnant and had began to slowly put weight on again. I thought I looked FAT! See what I mean about perspective??
Anyway, needless to say that I can look at it differently now and was wondering, if I put some photo's of a slimmer me around my home it might help my mind to 'keep pace' with my body? If I get used to looking at myself slim it might be easier to adjust to? dunno but it's worth a try!
Need to give more thought to the 'differences' I can make this time to KEEP IT OFF. As I said before, I KNOW I can get it off so the 6 stone isn't my real target, keeping it off is.
Emmie Lou
Full Member
Hi Shimsham
Good for you, sounds like your really getting yourself together!
You've reminded me that i need to start this body scrubbing oiling stuff again, i always look at it as something else ive got to do, when really i should be looking after myself!
Maybe taking a good look at yourself each day will help you come to terms with the changes.
My partner pointed out my hip bones last night- ok they're only visible when im laying down- but im fasinated, keep lying down to give them a stroke!!
Good for you, sounds like your really getting yourself together!
You've reminded me that i need to start this body scrubbing oiling stuff again, i always look at it as something else ive got to do, when really i should be looking after myself!
Maybe taking a good look at yourself each day will help you come to terms with the changes.
My partner pointed out my hip bones last night- ok they're only visible when im laying down- but im fasinated, keep lying down to give them a stroke!!
Shimsham
Full Member
lol, oh it's all coming back to me Emma!
I remember being excited at havin hip bones again and am now looking forward to getting them back!
Today is day 7 and so far so good.
Woke up full of energy and let BF have a lie in (even tho it was my turn!) while I fed baby. Oiled my skin again (determined to keep this up), changed the bedding, done the laundry and the washing up and all before 9.45! Trouble is what do I do with the rest of my morning without eating, shopping or cooking to do? it's amazing what a large amount of the day, especially the w/e it seems, revolves around food in some way!
Baby napping and BF upstairs so thought I would distract myself on here!
Going to look at a venue for our wedding reception this afternoon then am taking baby to the park so that's a good walk to occupy me this afternoon. just a couple of hours to kill then...
Jeanie x
I remember being excited at havin hip bones again and am now looking forward to getting them back!
Today is day 7 and so far so good.
Woke up full of energy and let BF have a lie in (even tho it was my turn!) while I fed baby. Oiled my skin again (determined to keep this up), changed the bedding, done the laundry and the washing up and all before 9.45! Trouble is what do I do with the rest of my morning without eating, shopping or cooking to do? it's amazing what a large amount of the day, especially the w/e it seems, revolves around food in some way!
Baby napping and BF upstairs so thought I would distract myself on here!
Going to look at a venue for our wedding reception this afternoon then am taking baby to the park so that's a good walk to occupy me this afternoon. just a couple of hours to kill then...
Jeanie x
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Shimsham
Full Member
Week 2 already!
Day 8 (yesterday)
I am SURE that I am in ketosis now cos my mouth tastes RANK! The surge of energy it's giving me is v. worrying too as I am becoming something of a 'domestic goddess' (well, demi-goddess...) with all the cooking and cleaning I am doing! BF came home last night and asked if he had walked into the wrong flat! Hmmm... not a good idea for him to get used to this standard of living methinks!
Went to Woolworths to buy some bits & pieces to spruce up the house (see what i mean???!!) and couldn't believe that THEY WERE PLAYING CHRISTMAS SONGS ALREADY!! I must of looked a complete nutcase pushing the buggy around and singing along (often at full blast!) with a huge grin on my face as I daydreamed about how much slimmer I will be by xmas and of all the nice clothes I will be able to buy!
Better still I wasn't even remotely tempted by all the chocs & xmas goodies surrounding me everywhere I looked. Funny to think that only a few weeks ago I would have stocked up on xmas choccie treats for my niece/nephew/class only to eat them all myself (in secret of course) and have to replace them (maybe only to eat them all a second time!).
BF got a new job today - HURRAY!! Only a 6 month contract but current one ends 1st Jan so that was good. I congratulated him with a celebratory glass of H2O before rushing off to yoga. Was able to relax a little better this week but ideas for our secret wedding kept popping into my head and distracting me. I must buy a notebook and write it all down as it's too much for my limited brain capacity to remember!
Day 9
Saw my counsellor (not CDC!) this morning for my 2nd to last session. Was feeling good and didn't even lose any sleep over it last night. Told myself as I drove there that I didn't think I would cry today but hey-ho...
Told her bout my Dads health and my decision not to go back to my old job, opening my mind to other possible ways of earning a living. Also told her bout our wedding plans and FOR THE 1ST TIME I said the words ''I am a compulsive overeater''. I know I have written that here in my diary before but I feel that it is significant that I 'said the words' out loud. Dunno yet quite how to combat it but one step at a time, eh?
BF out tonight but I have lots of phonecalls to make and am planning to try and read some more threads on here to keep me busy.
Thanx to Lottie, Emma, Summer and everyone else who has posted here. It really strengthens my resolve to know that others care and understand.
xx
Day 8 (yesterday)
I am SURE that I am in ketosis now cos my mouth tastes RANK! The surge of energy it's giving me is v. worrying too as I am becoming something of a 'domestic goddess' (well, demi-goddess...) with all the cooking and cleaning I am doing! BF came home last night and asked if he had walked into the wrong flat! Hmmm... not a good idea for him to get used to this standard of living methinks!
Went to Woolworths to buy some bits & pieces to spruce up the house (see what i mean???!!) and couldn't believe that THEY WERE PLAYING CHRISTMAS SONGS ALREADY!! I must of looked a complete nutcase pushing the buggy around and singing along (often at full blast!) with a huge grin on my face as I daydreamed about how much slimmer I will be by xmas and of all the nice clothes I will be able to buy!
Better still I wasn't even remotely tempted by all the chocs & xmas goodies surrounding me everywhere I looked. Funny to think that only a few weeks ago I would have stocked up on xmas choccie treats for my niece/nephew/class only to eat them all myself (in secret of course) and have to replace them (maybe only to eat them all a second time!).
BF got a new job today - HURRAY!! Only a 6 month contract but current one ends 1st Jan so that was good.
I congratulated him with a celebratory glass of H2O before rushing off to yoga. Was able to relax a little better this week but ideas for our secret wedding kept popping into my head and distracting me. I must buy a notebook and write it all down as it's too much for my limited brain capacity to remember!Day 9
Saw my counsellor (not CDC!) this morning for my 2nd to last session. Was feeling good and didn't even lose any sleep over it last night. Told myself as I drove there that I didn't think I would cry today but hey-ho...
Told her bout my Dads health and my decision not to go back to my old job, opening my mind to other possible ways of earning a living. Also told her bout our wedding plans and FOR THE 1ST TIME I said the words ''I am a compulsive overeater''. I know I have written that here in my diary before but I feel that it is significant that I 'said the words' out loud. Dunno yet quite how to combat it but one step at a time, eh?
BF out tonight but I have lots of phonecalls to make and am planning to try and read some more threads on here to keep me busy.
Thanx to Lottie, Emma, Summer and everyone else who has posted here. It really strengthens my resolve to know that others care and understand.
xx
Shimsham
Full Member
Feeling odd...
day 10
Woke up feeling 'odd' today. No other way to describe it. Not tired as I slept really well as did baby and not ill nor in a desparate, depressive mood just... odd. Been feeling v. quiet and trust me, anyone who knows me will tell you that that IS odd for me!
Was a bit short tempered with baby this morning (which made me feel incredibly guilty) as she was faffing around refusing to eat her b.fast when I was rushing to get her to the childminders so I could get to yoga - how silly is that? stressing about doing yoga??!
Anyway, went to yoga and felt better for it, can really feel the difference in my body when I do the stretches and postures since starting CD.
Been thinking about food A LOT today which I haven't for 10 days. Been thinkin bout what I miss and what I am looking forward to having again (King prawns, such decadent tastes!) which is not helping! Am trying not to focus too much on the idea of AAM week and wondering if I can eat them then!
On the plus side, I spoke to my CDC last week about my dilema regarding a visit to a friends place later this month and how I would get round SSing there. Luckily for me she has been forced to cancel our plans so that's one less problem to surmount!
I have spent the afternoon in the kitchen making batches of food to freeze for baby so I can use up all veggies in the fridge. Her Dad don't eat most of them and I can't so it's up to her! Means that i am surrounded by delicious smelling food so it is a real lesson in resistance and endurance for me!
Dug out my old record chart from LL yesterday and was amazed to find that I had started LL just 5 days later that I started CD, in 2005. Was pleased to find that it took me 8 weeks on LL to reach the weight at which I started CD and 10 weeks to reach the weight I was after 4 days of CD!
My weigh in on Friday feels a very long way off but I know the no's on the scales will get me through another week.
day 10
Woke up feeling 'odd' today. No other way to describe it. Not tired as I slept really well as did baby and not ill nor in a desparate, depressive mood just... odd.
Been feeling v. quiet and trust me, anyone who knows me will tell you that that IS odd for me!Was a bit short tempered with baby this morning (which made me feel incredibly guilty) as she was faffing around refusing to eat her b.fast when I was rushing to get her to the childminders so I could get to yoga - how silly is that? stressing about doing yoga??!
Anyway, went to yoga and felt better for it, can really feel the difference in my body when I do the stretches and postures since starting CD.
Been thinking about food A LOT today which I haven't for 10 days. Been thinkin bout what I miss and what I am looking forward to having again (King prawns, such decadent tastes!) which is not helping! Am trying not to focus too much on the idea of AAM week and wondering if I can eat them then!
On the plus side, I spoke to my CDC last week about my dilema regarding a visit to a friends place later this month and how I would get round SSing there. Luckily for me she has been forced to cancel our plans so that's one less problem to surmount!
I have spent the afternoon in the kitchen making batches of food to freeze for baby so I can use up all veggies in the fridge. Her Dad don't eat most of them and I can't
so it's up to her! Means that i am surrounded by delicious smelling food so it is a real lesson in resistance and endurance for me!Dug out my old record chart from LL yesterday and was amazed to find that I had started LL just 5 days later that I started CD, in 2005. Was pleased to find that it took me 8 weeks on LL to reach the weight at which I started CD and 10 weeks to reach the weight I was after 4 days of CD!
My weigh in on Friday feels a very long way off but I know the no's on the scales will get me through another week.
Shimsham
Full Member
Back to normal!!
Day 11
Pleased to report I am back to normal again today (whatever that means?! ). Not preoccupied with thoughts of food - despite cooking a delicious looking/ smelling and apparently tasting macaroni cheese!
Went to bed hungry last night. I mean proper hungry, rumbling tummy and everything. Had had my 3 packs and darnk WAY more than the required water... But as it was 11.30 I decided against another pack and had yet another glass of water. Dunno what that was all about! Still it goes to prove that I can control my urge to eat when feeling physical hunger, just need to get some control over emotional hunger now!
Had v. busy day. Took baby to clinic to be weighed only to find that she has put on a tiny 4oz in 2 weeks - I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY!!! Funny to think that I am almost as desparate to for her to put weight on as I am for mine to come off!! Mind you, I won't be interfering with the scale controls like she was - unless they go in the wrong direction that is!
Had plenty of excercise today, including a brisk 'off-road' walk through the park with a friend and her dogs this evening. Came back feeling regenerated - just hope it lasts!
Got my 2nd weigh in tomorrow. I KNOW I haven't put any weight on cos I have stuck to SS 100% but also know that the scales can still show a gain due to water retention. Just hoping the stars are smiling down at me in morning cos I need another boost. I also think that I can have bars and maybe savoury drinks or water flavourings week 3? That would be a help having a bit more choice!
Besides, it's always a boost to see Summer!
Day 11
Pleased to report I am back to normal again today (whatever that means?!
). Not preoccupied with thoughts of food - despite cooking a delicious looking/ smelling and apparently tasting macaroni cheese!Went to bed hungry last night. I mean proper hungry, rumbling tummy and everything. Had had my 3 packs and darnk WAY more than the required water... But as it was 11.30 I decided against another pack and had yet another glass of water. Dunno what that was all about! Still it goes to prove that I can control my urge to eat when feeling physical hunger, just need to get some control over emotional hunger now!
Had v. busy day. Took baby to clinic to be weighed only to find that she has put on a tiny 4oz in 2 weeks - I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY!!! Funny to think that I am almost as desparate to for her to put weight on as I am for mine to come off!!
Mind you, I won't be interfering with the scale controls like she was - unless they go in the wrong direction that is!Had plenty of excercise today, including a brisk 'off-road' walk through the park with a friend and her dogs this evening. Came back feeling regenerated - just hope it lasts!
Got my 2nd weigh in tomorrow. I KNOW I haven't put any weight on cos I have stuck to SS 100% but also know that the scales can still show a gain due to water retention. Just hoping the stars are smiling down at me in morning cos I need another boost. I also think that I can have bars and maybe savoury drinks or water flavourings week 3? That would be a help having a bit more choice!
Besides, it's always a boost to see Summer!
Summerskye
Gold Member
Day 11
I also think that I can have bars and maybe savoury drinks or water flavourings week 3? That would be a help having a bit more choice!
Besides, it's always a boost to see Summer!
The feelings entirely mutual, honey! Fingers crossed for a great loss!
So glad you had a better day today - and, yes, you can have bars/water flavourings etc. tomorrow
Shimsham
Full Member
Another 4lb off!!
Day 11
Had my 2nd weigh in today and was very pleased to find that I have shed another 4lb - thats a total of 11lb in 12 days now - WOO HOO!!
Am celebrating by cooking a delicious chicken dinner for my BF (sick or what??! ) whilst i savour a CD food pack... Would really LOVE a glass of wine tonight but want to lose weight more that I want the wine.
Bought some water flavouring and some bars today so I have that to look forward to this weekend at least!
Here's to week three. Another week nearer to AAM week (one step at a time!) another week nearer to my 12 stone goal.
My CDC, Summer, worked out today that I only need to reach 12 stone 10 to have a BMI of 28. That was a nice surprise as I am aiming for 12 stone (BMI 27) again.
Day 11
Had my 2nd weigh in today and was very pleased to find that I have shed another 4lb - thats a total of 11lb in 12 days now - WOO HOO!!
Am celebrating by cooking a delicious chicken dinner for my BF (sick or what??!
) whilst i savour a CD food pack... Would really LOVE a glass of wine tonight but want to lose weight more that I want the wine.Bought some water flavouring and some bars today so I have that to look forward to this weekend at least!
Here's to week three. Another week nearer to AAM week (one step at a time!) another week nearer to my 12 stone goal.
My CDC, Summer, worked out today that I only need to reach 12 stone 10 to have a BMI of 28. That was a nice surprise as I am aiming for 12 stone (BMI 27) again.
Shimsham
Full Member
Day 12
I really look forward to the weekend and then find that (for me at least) they are rarely different to the weekdays now I am a mum! Baby still needs feeding, changing and entertaining just the same as she does Monday to Friday and my BF doesn't seem to realise this - thinkin his weekend can still just go with the flow like they did in our footloose days!
CAN YOU TELL THAT THIS WINDS ME UP??!
I am in danger of becoming a nag the amount of times I have to remind him of this! Right now, yet again, he has taken himself off to the barbers while I do the housewife bit at home! the highlight of my day has been a dutyful visit to the MiL's to thank her for my daughters new dress...
Guess what I would of been doing right now, 3 weeks ago? Got it in one - eating!!
Instead I am just quietly grumping about it and wondering how to -yet again- try and get him to realise I am unhappy about it.
He stars a new job on Monday and should have more time for us without all the commuting so think I might leave it till middle of week then make him plan the weekend in advance.
Today was my 1st incident of telling anyone outside the 2 people closest to me (in London that is) that i am dieting. My MiL tried to insist that I had a slice of homemade sweetbread with cheese - something I LOVE. I didn't want her to know I am doing another VLCD as she is a retired nurse and THINKS she knows all about how unhealthy these things are. Also when I did LL she made a big point of telling me that 'now you just have to keep it off'... If only she had told me HOW!
So I just said 'i'm dieting, trying to get some weight off before xmas'. 'Oh so am I' she replied (why do people always say that??!) before tucking into 2 slices of sweetbread! She seemed a bit suspicious when I turned down a cup of tea and just had water telling me 'a little bit of what you fancy does you good' and 'everything in moderation'. HMmmmm... I WISH!! Eating just 'a little bit of what I fancy,' 'in moderation' would be a dream come true for me!
So, another saturday night in. Have just realised that since baby put paid to our nights out (for now at least) we have been enjoying our Saturday night by over-indulging with food and drink. Wonder how indulgent I can make a food bar and some water flavourings while he has a slap up dinner and a couple of beers!
Sorry if I sound full of self-pity but I guess I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself right now...
Gonna go play with baby and her toys - that's guaranteed to put a smile on my face!
Roll on day 13 - ooh no, unlucky for some!!
I really look forward to the weekend and then find that (for me at least) they are rarely different to the weekdays now I am a mum!
Baby still needs feeding, changing and entertaining just the same as she does Monday to Friday and my BF doesn't seem to realise this - thinkin his weekend can still just go with the flow like they did in our footloose days!CAN YOU TELL THAT THIS WINDS ME UP??!
I am in danger of becoming a nag the amount of times I have to remind him of this! Right now, yet again, he has taken himself off to the barbers while I do the housewife bit at home! the highlight of my day has been a dutyful visit to the MiL's to thank her for my daughters new dress...
Guess what I would of been doing right now, 3 weeks ago? Got it in one - eating!!
Instead I am just quietly grumping about it and wondering how to -yet again- try and get him to realise I am unhappy about it.
He stars a new job on Monday and should have more time for us without all the commuting so think I might leave it till middle of week then make him plan the weekend in advance.
Today was my 1st incident of telling anyone outside the 2 people closest to me (in London that is) that i am dieting. My MiL tried to insist that I had a slice of homemade sweetbread with cheese - something I LOVE. I didn't want her to know I am doing another VLCD as she is a retired nurse and THINKS she knows all about how unhealthy these things are. Also when I did LL she made a big point of telling me that 'now you just have to keep it off'... If only she had told me HOW!
So I just said 'i'm dieting, trying to get some weight off before xmas'. 'Oh so am I' she replied (why do people always say that??!) before tucking into 2 slices of sweetbread! She seemed a bit suspicious when I turned down a cup of tea and just had water telling me 'a little bit of what you fancy does you good' and 'everything in moderation'. HMmmmm... I WISH!! Eating just 'a little bit of what I fancy,' 'in moderation' would be a dream come true for me!
So, another saturday night in. Have just realised that since baby put paid to our nights out (for now at least) we have been enjoying our Saturday night by over-indulging with food and drink. Wonder how indulgent I can make a food bar and some water flavourings while he has a slap up dinner and a couple of beers!
Sorry if I sound full of self-pity but I guess I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself right now...
Gonna go play with baby and her toys - that's guaranteed to put a smile on my face!
Roll on day 13 - ooh no, unlucky for some!!
Summerskye
Gold Member
Hi Jeanie
I notice you've not posted in a couple of days and hope all is OK. Call me anytime if you need a chat OK?
Love
I notice you've not posted in a couple of days and hope all is OK. Call me anytime if you need a chat OK?
Love
Hi Shimsham,
11lbs. in 12 days is brill weight loss.
I feel myself a vlcd is the best and one of the safests ways to lose weight if you take your packs and water as you know your getting all your vitamins and nutrients you need to stay healthy.
I think it is very difficult for others to understand if they only ever had about five or ten pounds to lose.
Love Mini xxx
11lbs. in 12 days is brill weight loss.
I feel myself a vlcd is the best and one of the safests ways to lose weight if you take your packs and water as you know your getting all your vitamins and nutrients you need to stay healthy.
I think it is very difficult for others to understand if they only ever had about five or ten pounds to lose.
Love Mini xxx
Shimsham
Full Member
I HAVE A FAT BRAIN!!
Day 15
I'm back! Well, in truth I never went away, diet-wise at least, but just not had a chance to sit uninterrupted and update my diary till now. Thank you all for your support, especially Summer! Very sweet of you to notice my absence but my CD is still going strong (ish!)
Not a very exciting weekend. Was still pissed of with BF on Sunday and woke up in a bad mood (I hate that! ). After some cajoling he got it out of me why I was in a bad mood and he apologised. I realised that had i been eating, correction-using food to numb my feelings of resentment towards him-it wouldn't have been such a big deal! But that's another hurdle over!
Spent THE WHOLE of Sunday ironing!! This is COMPLETELY UNHEARD OF in our house, having been alergic to the iron for almost 30 years! I became quite anal about it, refusing to have a break and not stopping till every piece of fabric in the house was crease-free. BF came back from 'power pramming' (likes to think it's more macho than 'taking baby out' ) and thought I had been exchanged by aliens!
What got me started was remembering that at the bottom of the ironing basket were many of my smaller clothes. Not my smallest which I tearfully packed away when 7 months pregnant, but some 16s and 18 that I wore when pregnant before being forced kicking and screaming into maternity wear.
What delight when i remembered the nice things I had grown out of and what a pleasant reminder that this time I don't need to buy a whole new shrinking wardrobe until i am appraching goal.
Then I had a revealation. I HAVE A FAT BRAIN!! I thought about the pleasure I got from wearing and shopping for smaller clothes and wondered how i let that slip away. I thought about the lovely compliments I recieved from friends and family. I thought about how much more confident and (dare I say it..) sexy I felt (hence the baby i guess!!). SO WHAT HAPPENEND?
And then it hit me. Only my BODY was slim! My brain was still fat!! Having been over weight most of my life, right from childhood my thinking was fat. At the time I put it down to it not keeping pace with the speed of my weight loss but now I realise it needs completely reprogramming if i am ever going to keep the weight off.
I now know that that is also the difference between my and my enviable friends who can put a few extra pounds on over xmas or holidays and then easily shed it within a few weeks afterwards. THEY have THIN brains. They are unaccustomed to being fat whereas I am unaccustomed to being slim!
Trouble is, now I dunno how to make my brain thin!
Day 15
I'm back! Well, in truth I never went away, diet-wise at least, but just not had a chance to sit uninterrupted and update my diary till now. Thank you all for your support, especially Summer! Very sweet of you to notice my absence but my CD is still going strong (ish!)
Not a very exciting weekend. Was still pissed of with BF on Sunday and woke up in a bad mood (I hate that!
). After some cajoling he got it out of me why I was in a bad mood and he apologised. I realised that had i been eating, correction-using food to numb my feelings of resentment towards him-it wouldn't have been such a big deal! But that's another hurdle over! Spent THE WHOLE of Sunday ironing!! This is COMPLETELY UNHEARD OF in our house, having been alergic to the iron for almost 30 years! I became quite anal about it, refusing to have a break and not stopping till every piece of fabric in the house was crease-free. BF came back from 'power pramming' (likes to think it's more macho than 'taking baby out'
) and thought I had been exchanged by aliens! What got me started was remembering that at the bottom of the ironing basket were many of my smaller clothes. Not my smallest which I tearfully packed away when 7 months pregnant, but some 16s and 18 that I wore when pregnant before being forced kicking and screaming into maternity wear.
What delight when i remembered the nice things I had grown out of and what a pleasant reminder that this time I don't need to buy a whole new shrinking wardrobe until i am appraching goal.
Then I had a revealation. I HAVE A FAT BRAIN!! I thought about the pleasure I got from wearing and shopping for smaller clothes and wondered how i let that slip away. I thought about the lovely compliments I recieved from friends and family. I thought about how much more confident and (dare I say it..) sexy I felt (hence the baby i guess!!). SO WHAT HAPPENEND?
And then it hit me. Only my BODY was slim! My brain was still fat!! Having been over weight most of my life, right from childhood my thinking was fat. At the time I put it down to it not keeping pace with the speed of my weight loss but now I realise it needs completely reprogramming if i am ever going to keep the weight off.
I now know that that is also the difference between my and my enviable friends who can put a few extra pounds on over xmas or holidays and then easily shed it within a few weeks afterwards. THEY have THIN brains. They are unaccustomed to being fat whereas I am unaccustomed to being slim!
Trouble is, now I dunno how to make my brain thin!
Shimsham
Full Member
With friends like these...!
Today i have found myself wanting to eat again. A little voice in my head is trying to make me pick at food, just a little bit here and there but it's dangerous thinking! I suspect much of it is to do with the change in the weather and the dark night drawing in but I must remain vigilant!
Had a difficult start to the day when I read an email from a friend this morning. I had mailed her last week to rearrange our plans for the 18th. This is something I try to avoid at all cost but I had provisionally agreed to babysit for friends of hours who are going to exchange the favour for us next month, only I didn't have their date and would you believe it just so happenend to be the 18th!
Anyway, she emailed me back to say she was unhappy that her plans had been changed becuase of 'somebody I don't even know' (what relevance is that???) and referred to a previous occasion when she phoned me in the middle of tesco's and asked to come over that night. My daughter and I had just returned from a few days away at my parents and my BF and I had planned a cosy night in so I said 'no'. Seems she holds that against me... I wouldn't mind but I have only seen her 3 times in 8 months (since baby born) and each time she wants my advice on her latest love affair . I am p*&%$rd off with her!! So much so that I haven't yet replied. but it has been playing on my mind all day (can you tell? ).
She has left it up to me to set another date to meet but quite frankly I dunno if I can be bothered. I'd hate to lose a friend but she is proving to be something of a fair-weathered one. Seems she preferred me when I could go out drinking or on holiday at the drop of a hat but cannot understand that that is no longer possible.
Need to give this one some thought -without eating!
Today i have found myself wanting to eat again. A little voice in my head is trying to make me pick at food, just a little bit here and there but it's dangerous thinking! I suspect much of it is to do with the change in the weather and the dark night drawing in but I must remain vigilant!
Had a difficult start to the day when I read an email from a friend this morning. I had mailed her last week to rearrange our plans for the 18th. This is something I try to avoid at all cost but I had provisionally agreed to babysit for friends of hours who are going to exchange the favour for us next month, only I didn't have their date and would you believe it just so happenend to be the 18th!
Anyway, she emailed me back to say she was unhappy that her plans had been changed becuase of 'somebody I don't even know' (what relevance is that???) and referred to a previous occasion when she phoned me in the middle of tesco's and asked to come over that night. My daughter and I had just returned from a few days away at my parents and my BF and I had planned a cosy night in so I said 'no'. Seems she holds that against me... I wouldn't mind but I have only seen her 3 times in 8 months (since baby born) and each time she wants my advice on her latest love affair
. I am p*&%$rd off with her!! So much so that I haven't yet replied. but it has been playing on my mind all day (can you tell? ). She has left it up to me to set another date to meet but quite frankly I dunno if I can be bothered. I'd hate to lose a friend but she is proving to be something of a fair-weathered one. Seems she preferred me when I could go out drinking or on holiday at the drop of a hat but cannot understand that that is no longer possible.
Need to give this one some thought -without eating!
kandy
Silver Member
Hey shimsham,
just read your diary right through and omg i couldv'e written it about myself !
I lost 3 stone on cd and stopped in april i have gained 4 stone back i really admire your resolve for getting back to it and i think you are discovering how and when you use food so now you can work at controlling it !
Good luck and keep reminding yourself how good slim feels luv Julie xxx
just read your diary right through and omg i couldv'e written it about myself !
I lost 3 stone on cd and stopped in april i have gained 4 stone back i really admire your resolve for getting back to it and i think you are discovering how and when you use food so now you can work at controlling it !
Good luck and keep reminding yourself how good slim feels luv Julie xxx
