The amount of life we wasted and gave up to food

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Laura Croft, 15 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. Laura Croft

    Laura Croft Happily maintaining

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    I am going through one of those realisations about how many years I've spent tucked away stuffing my face with food that I didn't even like and denying myself a life' moment.

    Now first up, I'm not beating myself up or regretting the past. What has happened has happened blah blah blah and the best thing I can do is make the most of this moment in time blah blah blah BUT

    I'm still sad. Why did I treat myself so badly? I know this was years of self-abuse basically and at the time, I didnt' see it as abuse. It was comfort.

    I've missed out on a lot of friendships, i've isolated myself so much, I'm lonely ie would like to be in a relationship but don't want to be, if that makes sense and I've just held myself back so much.

    This has all been triggered by helping a friend for her upcoming marriage. We are the same age, very similar in our goals etc but she's happy, she's settled, financially she hasn't wasted money on food etc etc. And comparing others outsides compared to our insides isnt' good but it's just being realistic about where I am, and I think it is healthy to take a benchmark because how otherwise will I see what I need to
    improve. I'm also not looking forward to going to this wedding as a singleton.

    You know it's easy to say things happen for a reason. I'm a big believer in life teaching you lessons and if you don't learn them the first, second, third etc etc they'll come back and bite you on the arse.

    And I also like the analogy of us seeing the underside of the tapestry and a Higher Power of some sort being able to see what a beautiful picture it is. Ie things may look ugly right now but it all fits together ... somehow.

    Now I really believe all that BUT I also believe we need to be the person we are designed to be, and that's the bit that makes me sad. I've stopped myself for so long from being that person.

    I guess it'd help to hear from others that feel like they've wasted time too. If you want to tell me a 'and I lived happily ever after story', I'd love to hear that too.
     
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  3. ilovetopshop

    ilovetopshop New Member

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    I totally agree. Food was my "comfort" but was actually the thing making me soooo sad. Never again, I promise this is the least I owe myself.

    xxx
     
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  4. nessx

    nessx Member

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    i defo believe i have wasted time eating the crap that has made me fat. im 26, and i want to be wearing the stuff that most 26 yr old people wear! i cant wait to feel skinnier, i will feel like a big weight has been shifted, literally! bring on the losses, and the 'happily ever after'x
     
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  5. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    I soo know what you mean, and am still trying to break the cycle, but i look back and tho I am basically happy i dont like the way i look and i'm often uncomfortable in my own body.
    My big regrets- i didnt look how i wanted to on my wedding day, or like any of the pictures of me with my babies. Even now family hoilday snaps you might not think that i even went cos i prefer to be behind the camera. its daft i know but i think about if anything ever happened to me the girls wouldnt have any decent phot's to remember me by.
    Everyday is a battle, as i'm sure it is for all of us, but i only know that sthe surest way never to succeed is to give up trying.
     
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  6. LizzMB

    LizzMB WILL be Slim!

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    i totally understand where your coming from hun! I'm the same....i have put my body through so much and i feel so sad for being so stupid....

    i have nearly completed 4 months (on tuesday) of CD, and its 4 months well spent.....i would dedicate 4 YEARS for results like this, as i have spent 30 years abusing my body....its time to give it a little respect back!

    My mum is overweight A LOT and i dont want my DD to continue the cycle so we're putting a stop to it now....!
    I have done CD, my DH had taken up running, i've lost nr 5 stone, he's lost 3....both of us now operate a strict policy on food now in our house....we dont mention the word "diet", and DD is allowed choc etc, but occassionally....not as treats etc...! She will benefit from us changing our life!

    Now....if THAT isnt a reason to lose weight, i dont know what is!:D

    xx
     
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  7. Laura Croft

    Laura Croft Happily maintaining

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    Thank you all for your lovely comments. I appreciate it.

    Porgeous commented in my thread in 1000 - maintenance it is easy to forget the good times we had, and that's true.

    I've travelled a lot, worked hard etc etc What I don't have now is the stuff I 'want' ie being in a relationship, maybe having kids etc and right now, I feel like I'm missing out on a very valuable part of life. It's far from too late and I'm sure the grass is always greener on the other side but the last few months have been a real wake up call for me.
     
  8. sumayyah

    sumayyah please try again

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    i cant regret the past totally as its shaped me as a person, hopefully i would never make ignorant comments to others as i know how hurt ive been with every comment people have made towards me
    i do wish i had got myself sorted a lot sooner though as there is still so much i want to do in life, my pediatric nursing for one, i know at my weight now i would never be accepted
    i will have to work at my reaction to having food around as i have an underweight child ( 26lb and shes over 4 ) and i would much rather she had the higher fat home cooked stuff than me adding suppliments to all her foods but i will learn i can feed her without having to eat the same things myself
     
  9. sumayyah

    sumayyah please try again

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    hmm ok now it sounds like ive starved my child in the past, i havnt shes disabled so has much higher requirements ( has a peg tube in so i can feed her on an overnight pump too
     
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  10. Blingbabe

    Blingbabe Back On Track!

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    What a very thought provoking thread; I have also considered earlier this week that putting back on several stones after my last VLCD must be some kind of self-abuse. But I would also feel that it has added to my ability to emphasise with others and be more compassionate (vital as a nurse). Thanks Laura Croft for prompting me to reflect on some difficult issues.
     
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  11. Claudine004

    Claudine004 Oh Yea!

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    Hi Laura,

    What you said really struck a cord with me and thanks you so much for sharing that personal stuff with us. I feel the same way you do. I feel I have missed out on most things in life including fun and a loving relationship.

    However whats great is that I am now older and wiser and so once the weight is gone i'll be slim in my 30's. To me that means that I can make smarter choices and I have a lot more experience to help. I think everything happens for a reason and there is a right time for everything. Have you thought that you life has had to be lived the eay you lived it so that you can be in the position you are now? Life teaches us lots of differnt lessons.

    I do regret my past a lot but now I'm looking forward. Our lives are not over, god willing we have much more to give and live.

    I am more excited about the fun and new relationships that are yet to come my way and you should be too.

    I wish you the best of luck for the future.

    Plus i hear weddings are great places to meet guys......:flirt2:
     
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  12. Laura Croft

    Laura Croft Happily maintaining

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    Thank you for your thoughts. I've got my perspective back a bit now and my struggles have cerainly helped me to help others. And I still believe things will turn out okay.

    Claudine - I'm 33 so unfortunately at this wedding, it's far far more couples than singles. Welcome to the era of being the odd one out. Oh well! It's certainly spurred me to get my act together and I'm going to try online dating in October. Nothing ventured nothing gained after all!
     
  13. alipally

    alipally Serial Dieter!

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    I actually don't regret anything... I am who I am today despite my weight not because of it... Sure I've had my moments when I've been unhappy about it... they've usually resulted in a big weight loss.... Followed by a big weight gain! (sound familiar :rolleyes:) However I'm not dieting again, ever, after this!

    The only thing I can honestly say that being overweight has ever stopped me from doing was riding AIR at Alton towers, but I soon put that right and have been on it several times now.... (awesome ride!)

    I have a happy 22 year marriage, to a man who I know adores me, fat, thin, or in between and the feeling is entirely mutual. I have two grown boys of whom we are immensly proud. I'm happy because I choose to be.

    I try to live everyday, looking for the positives.... I also subscribe to not worrying about the stuff you can't change and changing what you are unhappy about. I'm pragmatic about my past, so I've learnt from it, but I don't dwell on what's already been and gone, what good can it serve?

    Hence my Dr Suess Quote!
     
  14. Laura Croft

    Laura Croft Happily maintaining

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    I've always liked that quote at the bottom of your signature.

    I am not regretting the past, I'm just reflecting on what I have/ haven't done, and how much I have held myself back.
     
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  15. sumayyah

    sumayyah please try again

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    laura, online datings not so bad, ive met a fair few guys online, most of them were wonderful people, ive dated several of the guys i met online ( got one of em living with me, lol )
     
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