The Clock Stopped Ticking. Mom is at peace.
- Thread starter Blonde Logic
- Start date
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Thank you everyone.....really.
Things continue to remain as complicated as they had been. We contacted the funeral home to start making arrangements - but we were then told by the hospital, they cannot release moms body to the mortuary yet as California law requires an investigation be carried out by the Coroner if anyone dies from a burn.
So we are now waiting to see what all will be involved. Hoping its very straight forward andw ill be settled via a telephone call with the hospital. But that means a delay. So it now looks like the funeral will be about 3 weeks away- which seems a very long time....but thinking about it, and talking to my brother - maybe it is a good thing we stop - breathe - and than move ahead. These past 40 days have surely taken their toll on both of us. I am still not sleeping well, and am beginning to have some rather unpleasant dreams of the morning I found her. And of some of the things seen - burn units are pretty hardcore
- and I saw a lot of pain, and death occur in the walls of that ward..not just mom, but other poor souls as well..that it was all pretty hard emotionally. So maybe a little mental health time will do us good.
It does give me time to work on something to say, or be said - won;t be me cause I'll stumble - but something for someone to read at her funeral. Thats what I have been doing this afternoon. It does bring on the floodgates - but it feels helpful. Maybe I will post it when I am done.
So yah. Ramble ramble ramble.
Thanks everyone.
xxxx
"Just keep swimmin - just keep swimmin..."
Things continue to remain as complicated as they had been. We contacted the funeral home to start making arrangements - but we were then told by the hospital, they cannot release moms body to the mortuary yet as California law requires an investigation be carried out by the Coroner if anyone dies from a burn.
So we are now waiting to see what all will be involved. Hoping its very straight forward andw ill be settled via a telephone call with the hospital. But that means a delay. So it now looks like the funeral will be about 3 weeks away- which seems a very long time....but thinking about it, and talking to my brother - maybe it is a good thing we stop - breathe - and than move ahead. These past 40 days have surely taken their toll on both of us. I am still not sleeping well, and am beginning to have some rather unpleasant dreams of the morning I found her. And of some of the things seen - burn units are pretty hardcore
- and I saw a lot of pain, and death occur in the walls of that ward..not just mom, but other poor souls as well..that it was all pretty hard emotionally. So maybe a little mental health time will do us good.It does give me time to work on something to say, or be said - won;t be me cause I'll stumble - but something for someone to read at her funeral. Thats what I have been doing this afternoon. It does bring on the floodgates - but it feels helpful. Maybe I will post it when I am done.
So yah. Ramble ramble ramble.
Thanks everyone.
xxxx
"Just keep swimmin - just keep swimmin..."
lucylastic
Silver Member
Really sorry BL, but she's in a better place now, I'm sure of that. Take care of you now xx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Thank you everyone.....really.
Things continue to remain as complicated as they had been. We contacted the funeral home to start making arrangements - but we were then told by the hospital, they cannot release moms body to the mortuary yet as California law requires an investigation be carried out by the Coroner if anyone dies from a burn.
So we are now waiting to see what all will be involved. Hoping its very straight forward andw ill be settled via a telephone call with the hospital. But that means a delay. So it now looks like the funeral will be about 3 weeks away- which seems a very long time....but thinking about it, and talking to my brother - maybe it is a good thing we stop - breathe - and than move ahead. These past 40 days have surely taken their toll on both of us. I am still not sleeping well, and am beginning to have some rather unpleasant dreams of the morning I found her. And of some of the things seen - burn units are pretty hardcore - and I saw a lot of pain, and death occur in the walls of that ward..not just mom, but other poor souls as well..that it was all pretty hard emotionally. So maybe a little mental health time will do us good.
It does give me time to work on something to say, or be said - won;t be me cause I'll stumble - but something for someone to read at her funeral. Thats what I have been doing this afternoon. It does bring on the floodgates - but it feels helpful. Maybe I will post it when I am done.
So yah. Ramble ramble ramble.
Thanks everyone.
xxxx
"Just keep swimmin - just keep swimmin..."
Things continue to remain as complicated as they had been. We contacted the funeral home to start making arrangements - but we were then told by the hospital, they cannot release moms body to the mortuary yet as California law requires an investigation be carried out by the Coroner if anyone dies from a burn.
So we are now waiting to see what all will be involved. Hoping its very straight forward andw ill be settled via a telephone call with the hospital. But that means a delay. So it now looks like the funeral will be about 3 weeks away- which seems a very long time....but thinking about it, and talking to my brother - maybe it is a good thing we stop - breathe - and than move ahead. These past 40 days have surely taken their toll on both of us. I am still not sleeping well, and am beginning to have some rather unpleasant dreams of the morning I found her. And of some of the things seen - burn units are pretty hardcore
- and I saw a lot of pain, and death occur in the walls of that ward..not just mom, but other poor souls as well..that it was all pretty hard emotionally. So maybe a little mental health time will do us good.It does give me time to work on something to say, or be said - won;t be me cause I'll stumble - but something for someone to read at her funeral. Thats what I have been doing this afternoon. It does bring on the floodgates - but it feels helpful. Maybe I will post it when I am done.
So yah. Ramble ramble ramble.
Thanks everyone.
xxxx
"Just keep swimmin - just keep swimmin..."
yummymummynot
Full Member
So sorry for your loss. You said such beautiful things about your mum I am sitting here at work crying.
xxx
xxx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Thanks YMMN. xx
(Not sure why my post duplicated itself??)
(Not sure why my post duplicated itself??)
RecoveringChocaholic
I'm going to be slim
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news she had such a kind face but she will always be with you in all you do
Love to you & yours
xxx
Love to you & yours
xxx
Surreystar
Full Member
BL I'm sure your mum is at peace, and no longer in any pain. Your mum and dad are now reunited and will be looking down on you, their kind loving daughter, take care Julie xx
scotwannabethin
Back to the grindstone!!
You are in my thoughts, very sorry to hear of your loss.
Take care.
SWBT
Take care.
SWBT
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
THank you all.
Today I have to return to work - I am dreading 8 hours of acting like everything is OK.
I just feel so numb right now....hopefully it will go OK. I am not one of those people who needs distraction - it will not be helpful for me to be there. My work will be questionable as my mind will not be on it.
They are dragging their feet about approving my leave for the funeral, etc. They could learn from hubbys employer who told him whatever he needs, he gets - he just tells them. Mine, I have to act as if they are doing me some great big favour. Like I *want* to be making this trip! As if I *want* to bury my mother! Like I *want* to empty out my family home and get it ready for sale before its foreclosed....the race is on... Like I *want* to be doing ANY of this. <sigh>
Everyone should be born with overflowing amounts of compassion and empathy. The world would be a much nicer place.
Hey ho. I'm off - wish me luck. I'll need it.
xxxx
Today I have to return to work - I am dreading 8 hours of acting like everything is OK.
I just feel so numb right now....hopefully it will go OK. I am not one of those people who needs distraction - it will not be helpful for me to be there. My work will be questionable as my mind will not be on it.
They are dragging their feet about approving my leave for the funeral, etc. They could learn from hubbys employer who told him whatever he needs, he gets - he just tells them. Mine, I have to act as if they are doing me some great big favour. Like I *want* to be making this trip! As if I *want* to bury my mother! Like I *want* to empty out my family home and get it ready for sale before its foreclosed....the race is on... Like I *want* to be doing ANY of this. <sigh>
Everyone should be born with overflowing amounts of compassion and empathy. The world would be a much nicer place.
Hey ho. I'm off - wish me luck. I'll need it.
xxxx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
I still keep reaching for the phone to call mom, to cheer me up and help me get through this....and then, "oh yeah" hits....and I put the phone back.
Going to take a long time.
Going to take a long time.
roundrachel
Silver Member
Hi BL
I'm sorry your work are being so awkward about letting you take time off. Your OHs's employers sound so much more understanding. I was 'lucky' enough to be told to take as much time as I wanted when my dad died, as was my sister who came over from Australia.
When I look back now at the months that followed his death I don't know how on earth I did the things I did. But somehow at these incredibly tough times, we all find an inner strength we never knew we had. Thankfully it's something we don't have to use too often in life but it's a human instinct that gets us through. The numbness you talk of is what will help you cope but one day, once the dust has settled a little, you won't feel quite as numb any more, and you will be able to remember the good times with your Mum and smile that she was here, not that she has gone.
It all sounds so far off I know. And hearing someone tell you it'll get easier isn't always a comfort. But I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and you will get through this in your own way. There are no rules on how to grieve. I went away to wales for a week after my dad's funeral and just slept and walked on the beach. Then I was ready for the distraction that work brought me which helped me see that sadly, even though dad was no longer here, life was going to carry on without him.
Take it all in your own time and if work won't let you take time off, see if your Doctor can write you a note to say you need time off.There will be a way to make sure you can do everything you need to in your own time I'm sure.
My thoughts are with you.
Love and Prayers
Rachel xx
I'm sorry your work are being so awkward about letting you take time off. Your OHs's employers sound so much more understanding. I was 'lucky' enough to be told to take as much time as I wanted when my dad died, as was my sister who came over from Australia.
When I look back now at the months that followed his death I don't know how on earth I did the things I did. But somehow at these incredibly tough times, we all find an inner strength we never knew we had. Thankfully it's something we don't have to use too often in life but it's a human instinct that gets us through. The numbness you talk of is what will help you cope but one day, once the dust has settled a little, you won't feel quite as numb any more, and you will be able to remember the good times with your Mum and smile that she was here, not that she has gone.
It all sounds so far off I know. And hearing someone tell you it'll get easier isn't always a comfort. But I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and you will get through this in your own way. There are no rules on how to grieve. I went away to wales for a week after my dad's funeral and just slept and walked on the beach. Then I was ready for the distraction that work brought me which helped me see that sadly, even though dad was no longer here, life was going to carry on without him.
Take it all in your own time and if work won't let you take time off, see if your Doctor can write you a note to say you need time off.There will be a way to make sure you can do everything you need to in your own time I'm sure.
My thoughts are with you.
Love and Prayers
Rachel xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Hello hun,
I hope it wasn't too terrible for you at work today.
I also hope some of your colleagues did show you they have compassion and empathy.
xxx
I hope it wasn't too terrible for you at work today.
I also hope some of your colleagues did show you they have compassion and empathy.
xxx
Feuervogel
JUDDD Worshipper
I am very sorry, my condolences to your and your family.
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