The First Diary of Trudy C age 40 something!

[CheeseGirl]

Trudy, it sounds like you may have been given the tools you need to work your way through food obsession/bingeing, whatever we call it. Relating to what Sara said, I read somewhere that those little brain exercises, like talking yourself out of that piece of cake, eventually wear new pathways in your brain and so it actually becomes natural and not a struggle. It's just the part of pounding down a new pathway that's hard! We can all do it together, we're all here for one another and even if we get there kicking and screaming, we shall overcome!!

 

[trudyc]

Sooooo a good day today again - horses worked well, made it to the gym and am definitely getting stronger and fitter in my workout there which is encouraging! After work I had a rush around to get Ben his tea and ready to go to our retired caretakers wee party that was being thrown by the church! I was a good girl and turned down the rubbish!

B - porridge with custard
L - chicken and cottage cheese curry with cauliflower rice
D - scrambled egg/ham/ two slices wholemeal toast

Four days down and feeling much better in myself for being relatively 'in control'.......LONG may it continue x

 

[sarafvrm]

Well done you. As you say, long may it last xx

 

[dukannotsofatty]

Phew T what a few pages to catch up on, and all makes so much sense. Not even going to begin to answer whats been said as I think its already been answered. I can understand the trigger thing, very scary to think you can't ever eat the foods that you love because they trigger overeating, but wow T I am so in awe of your willpower and determination to do this. You go Girl!!!!

 

[scooter]

Good going Trudy you're doing great xx

 

[CPL]

Well done T, go kick those food demons, i wish you every every success hun x

 

[sididd]

Four days down and feeling much better in myself for being relatively 'in control'.......LONG may it continue x

I'm sending you positive vibes Trudy, your sounding so upbeat and positive xxx

 

[Maintainer]

Sara - another mind blowing post there from you. It's not rocket science but it often takes someone else to state the obvious for something to click. Thank you! In fact you're all wonderful! Instead of raising your eyes to heaven at "yet another" Jo/Trudy blow out, you're always encouraging and ever hopeful that we will get this cracked.

Have you identified your trigger foods? OK it's easy for us to say all white carbs, sugars etc, but I'm thinking more specifically. I'll head off to my diary ...

 

[trudyc]

LOL - JO now that is the million dollar question - FOR NOW I have kept binge foods confined to white flour products such as pizza, cake etc and 'bad' carbs such as crisps etc!!!! I have come to the conclusion that I would not 'binge' on mash or pasta or rice though they might lead me to eat the other foods!!!! I guess I have to think of the single foods that I would consume buckets of without variety though in honesty my binging usually consists of a variety of foods and would run along the lines of something like this: -
two pieces of toast/ packet crisps/ bar of choccy/ piece of pizza/ slice of cake/packet of crisps etc and go on in that vein until I was full to the gunnels - I also know that I could eat vast amounts of all of those foods if there was only one on offer!
Gosh, hard to write it down and realise that I would repeat that list sometimes up to three times before I would stop!!!!
Oh well water under the bridge...... on and up from now on............ But you can see why I have to address it!!! x

Sara - another mind blowing post there from you. It's not rocket science but it often takes someone else to state the obvious for something to click. Thank you! In fact you're all wonderful! Instead of raising your eyes to heaven at "yet another" Jo/Trudy blow out, you're always encouraging and ever hopeful that we will get this cracked.

Have you identified your trigger foods? OK it's easy for us to say all white carbs, sugars etc, but I'm thinking more specifically. I'll head off to my diary ...

 

[Paulinegin]

we shall overcome!!

Cue a rousing chorus!

P x

 

[sarafvrm]

Painful to list them, isn't it? Well done for being so honest. Forwards and onwards now, Trudy xx

 

[CheeseGirl]

Good on you Trudy! Hope you're having another great day Off to list my trigger foods

 

[CaledoniaDreaming]

I empathise with you Trudy, accepting you are an overeater takes a lot of guts and I am sure will help in your long term relationship with food. My list of binge foods reads very similar to yours and I learnt trying to Conso that I can't have the gala meals and eat those foods as I just go on mad binges and then feel so awful afterwards and my weight balloons. You have shown such strength already, I know you can do this xx

 

[trudyc]

So dallying about reading everyones diaries but avoiding my own as I needed to admit that I binged yesterday!!! Was having a great day but got hungry and was at Hay Festival so had some veg curry with a pitta (blimmin white flour) and an ice cream - spent the rest of the afternoon thinking - no probs - go to the gym and carry on as NORMAL - got home made the gym and then came home - Ben wouldn't eat his dinner so I did - hmmmmm - not good - cottage pie and beans - then the floodgates opened and I went on to have:-
two small hollow choc eggs, three bags of mini cheddars, slice of toast, approx 100gms Pip's birthday continental chocs stolen from her under protest!!!!, pesto pasta!!!!
THERE I have written it down - I then fell asleep on the sofa in a 'drunken' food slump in quite a lot of pain!!!! Feel rubbish about it but writing it down and admitting it feels like a big step!!!! Today I am up, porridge eaten and ready for a new day!!!!! Bear with me gals I will do this - on and up!!!! x

 

[Paulinegin]

New day, new dawn darling.

We KNOW you will do this

P x

 

[CPL]

Your not on your own T, I think most of us can relate to what your going through, Deffo helps to write down the binge triggers mine is sugar i go for biscuits chocolate and then cake and then anything else I can find that's sweet. Identifying it is the start of the process of controlling it I suppose. Xx

 

[CheeseGirl]

Don't ever feel alone in this Trudy! I myself answered 'yes' to all but 2 of the OA questions - you're in a crowded room, methinks Focus, focus and soon it will become habit

 

[sarafvrm]

That was you saying goodbye to those foods, Trudy. Now the new you steps up xxx

 

[trudyc]

Oh I sure hope so Sara! Good day today - made the gym this morning and the lovely lady who runs it is gonna meet me there on Bank Holiday Monday when they are closed and do a workout with me so I don't miss two days which for me would be rubbish!!! Very grateful to her indeed! Work was a bit mentally tough as have two horses that are worrying me atm and it's making me a bit uptight!!!! Hope to get over that soon!!!! Up at 5am tomorrow to drive to Warick to judge a horse show - will be a long day - taking my muffins with me and will have my porridge too so I might have a bit too much oat bran but think that is a much better plan than a load of rubbish!!!! Then heading home to spend an evening with a dear friend who lost his wonderful partner on Wednesday, it is his birthday and doesn't want to spend it alone so a few of us are meeting at a pub for food and drink to keep him company! I bought a card today and wasn't sure whether to get a birthday card or a sympathy card so settled on a thinking of you and sending you sunshine card - a tough one..... Then a day off on Monday and after the gym I am spending the day the with Ben.......not sure what we will be doing but????? I do know I will be going to OA in the evening! Still cross with myself after yesterday as it was pointless!!!! Never mind!
Menu for today:-
B - hearty breakfast (courtesy of Karin - lovely stuff!)
L - shrimp/turkey/cottage cheese and balsamic/ 1 muffin
D - beef/chicken/egg/vegetables and a few prawns
A bit bloated but only to be expected!!!!!

 

[dukannotsofatty]

T hugs hunni, you really are having it tough at the moment with your triggers and foods. Do you think preparation is the key though, you said about eating the pitta and ice cream, if that was what started you off I assume its cos you needed to eat whilst out and that was all that was on offer.....would it be worth taking a pack up. I might be barking up the wrong tree there and you did take one but the pitta was calling your name LOL.

That hearty breakfast is ace isn't it. Its my Sunday breakfast treat every week. Very yum.