The (Im secretly BONKING Johnny'Thread.

[GnomesGnuts]

Johnny Depp
Before he was an Oscar-nominated actor, Johnny Depp sold pens. "You're calling people who don't want you to call them," he recalled. "You put on your best fake voice and try and sell them a gross or two of ballpoint pens with their name printed on them." Depp was still selling pens when Nicolas Cage suggested that he try acting, and he soon landed his role in the film "A Nightmare on Elm Street". The rest is movie history.

He has the
best pens!:character00100:arty0036::girlpower::talk017::massmoon:

 

[GnomesGnuts]

Johnny Depp
Before he was an Oscar-nominated actor, Johnny Depp sold pens. "You're calling people who don't want you to call them," he recalled. "You put on your best fake voice and try and sell them a gross or two of ballpoint pens with their name printed on them." Depp was still selling pens when Nicolas Cage suggested that he try acting, and he soon landed his role in the film "A Nightmare on Elm Street". The rest is movie history.

He has the
best pens!:character00100:arty0036::girlpower::talk017::massmoon:

 

[GnomesGnuts]

Some Johnny Quotes

Johnny: There was a woman at some restaurant who asked what her parents did, and Lilly Rose said, 'Well, my mommy's a singer.' And the lady said, 'Oh, yeah? What does your daddy do?' and she said, 'My daddy's a pirate.'

Johnny: The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured.' That kind of thing.

Johnny: May the wind always be on your back and the sun upon your face and may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.

Johnny: Captain Jack Sparrow is like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew.

Johnny: Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for...

On harming his family...
-If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

State of Confusion...
-I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.

Johnny, the joker...
-I used to use the name Mr. Stench; it was funny to be in a posh hotel and hear a very proper concierge call out, 'Mr. Stench, please.' I never really stayed under the name 'Donkey Penis'. That was an example. I mentioned it to a reporter once. But I have been Roid -- Emma Roid.

Johnny on Self Image...
My self-image it still isn't that alright. No matter how famous I am, no matter how many people go to see my movies, I still have the idea that I'm that pale no-hoper that I used to be. A pale no-hoper that happens to be a little lucky now. Tomorrow it'll be all over, then I'll have to go back to selling pens again.'

Special Treat for Mrs Depp, if i wasnt boffing him, how would I know all this!!!!

 

[Stacie86]

ooohhh!!! I love him-especially in that pirate outfit!!!!

 

[sazzy34]

Just a thought, but do you think Mike is only getting a boat as a "secret" love nest for him and Johnny ??????

Mrs D my heart goes out to you, all these so called friends you have.

Johnny did knock on my door last night but I told him NO NO NO. Turns out he was on his way over to Great Yarmouth ( looking for Mike) and had got lost boo hoo,.... Always the bridesmaid lol

 

[Mrs Depp]

Haha! It just goes to show, you can't trust people can you Sarah?

 

[sazzy34]

Oh Mrs D, I`m sure they never meant to hurt you, I bet its all that Johnny`s fault, I did hear a rumour that he has deadly persuasive charms,
Perhaps you could both try marriage counselling to try and tame his terrible behaviorand get you both back on track lol

 

[GnomesGnuts]

Ohhh Sazzy, its a brave and unique woman who can say NO to that rascal we know and love to be Johnny D, Are you sure it was a straight away No, or did you let him in for a little while to admire you in your nightgown before you sent him on his way to his love puppy Mike!!!

(is it me or is this thread getting sillier and sillier, there arent alot of new threads you can start for cambridge that hasnt already started, but it does seem that there are still sense of humours even tho we are staving and missing chocolate!!!!)

 

[sazzy34]

You see its like this gnomenuts

I would have normally been the perfect host and at least invited him in for a glass of water of course, you see I was dragged up very well,
But then Mr Sazzy34 got home from work and I just couldn`t bear the thought of upsetting Mr sazzy34 so I had to shut the door in Johnnys face, Oh how I cried myself to sleep that night :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

 

[GnomesGnuts]

Just as I suspected, a RELUCTANT NO!

Hope MR Sazzy knows what you gave up that night. Mrs D knows Johnny and his magic pens......

 

[sazzy34]

:cry::cry::cry:

Now i`m beginning to realise what could have been :booboo: lol

 

[Mrs Depp]

Aww don't worry Sarah, I'm sure Johnny will knock on your door again! lol He has such loose morals (and such huge magic pens!!)

 

[GnomesGnuts]

Now Now mrs Depp.... Your gonna share Johnny D now, i tell you what you let my have have Johnny D on Mondays and you can have my Danny(DeVito) on Mondays. Exchange is no robbery so they say.......

 

[skinnymongoose]

You're mad you lot, you know that?!?!?!!
SM

 

[sophia-jo]

oh yeah baby, I had him last night, just have to say OH YEAH BABY one more time :drool: oh yeah baby!!!

I'm with Nick Cage tonight though..... so Johnny is free (not for long I fear).

 

[Mrs Depp]

Sorry for taking so long to reply GG, been erm busy with JD. You know how time flies when you're having fun!!

Sorry, no can do with your offer of Danny DeVito, he's not my baaag maaan! If, on the other hand you happen to have Jonathon Rhys Meyers lounging around your place then I'd be happy to reconsider!

 

[Delli]

if theres any free colin firth's going id be very interested......love that man. he loves me too, he just doesnt know it yet.

 

[Mrs Depp]

I've got Colin coming round in a mo Delli! I'll send him over for you if you like?

 

[Delli]

could u please?? that wud b great mrs D, thanks! if u could possibly throw him into a lake in a white shirt first and then send him round soaking wet (with see through shirt obviously) id b really grateful!!!

 

[Delli]

lol, just realised that if u havent watched the bbc adaptation of pride and prejudice u would have no idea what im talking about!!! and that i would appear quite weird....