Step 1 Sole Source The Last Re-start!
- Thread starter Beverley75
- Start date
Clinquant
Gold Member
So sorry to hear about your Uncle but how lovely to have all those memories both distant and recent. Clearly a special man. Glad you are taking time to be sad and quiet.
And there is plenty of time for the ballsy Valkyrie to come out, but look what fab results you've got from making yourself a little bit vulnerable. ( By the way, I think you might quite like this Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com if you haven't discovered her already) It's the only way we get to the good stuff. We will be watching, waiting and cheering you on with this one.
And there is plenty of time for the ballsy Valkyrie to come out, but look what fab results you've got from making yourself a little bit vulnerable. ( By the way, I think you might quite like this Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com if you haven't discovered her already) It's the only way we get to the good stuff. We will be watching, waiting and cheering you on with this one.
skydragon
Silver Member
just to add to all the condolences, when you are left with more joy than sadness and memories last a life time, that is a life truly well lived, so i raise a glass (metaphorically) to this gent.
oh i love it when a plan comes together, well well well the rc business is just heating up very nicely, through struggle to the stars love it. you enjoy the shopping too. oh 2014 is shaping up very nicely indeed.
jxx
oh i love it when a plan comes together, well well well the rc business is just heating up very nicely, through struggle to the stars love it. you enjoy the shopping too. oh 2014 is shaping up very nicely indeed.
jxx
Beverley75
Silver Member
OMG!!!!!!! I can't breathe!!!!! Quick! Quick! Get Gok Wong..... Get somebody! Don't just stand there!!!!!! RC wants to see me tomorrow!? Wait. What? Forgive me, please, I really am a deep erudite woman.... No really I am.... Read the last 34 pages. I'm a cool chick. I am. So if you're new to this Common Room look away..... NOW.
Right: WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO WEAR!!!!!!???? Why the blazes do I live 40 miles away from my sisters and the girls? From my hasty calculations that would give me.... Oh... Eighty grands' worth of clobber to look through (not as many 'other people's wardrobes' as you'd think if you're a guy - do you Know how much girl clothes cost?). Stop it. Stop totaling up the wardrobes of every girl you know! Focus!
And what if he wants to pick me up? Huh? Answer me that. I live with a 15 year old boy, it looks as if 'Wolf People' live here..... Don't judge. the family is over on Saturday, the big mop & dust was taking place tomorrow night. It was!
Now what? Sh!t, sh!t , sh!t ..... Okay breathe. Guys, I swear it's TOTM (from hell I might add) and I'm size 15.5 still. None of my clothes actually fit. I thought I had at least a week to order in something hot to this dead burg.... Why the heck did they close Wallis & Principles? Ugh.
And the absolutely worst part? I know he wants to see me to be a strong shoulder to cry on. Have I described the breadth of the shoulders ladies? You might faint, so I won't. Built up blokes were never my 'thang' if you get my drift, but from the eyes, to the conversation, to the butt..... Wooooweeeee
Okay. I'm sane again. I'll send a real casual "yeah, sure, what time?" text when my hands stop sweating lol xx
Right: WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO WEAR!!!!!!???? Why the blazes do I live 40 miles away from my sisters and the girls? From my hasty calculations that would give me.... Oh... Eighty grands' worth of clobber to look through (not as many 'other people's wardrobes' as you'd think if you're a guy - do you Know how much girl clothes cost?). Stop it. Stop totaling up the wardrobes of every girl you know! Focus!
And what if he wants to pick me up? Huh? Answer me that. I live with a 15 year old boy, it looks as if 'Wolf People' live here..... Don't judge. the family is over on Saturday, the big mop & dust was taking place tomorrow night. It was!
Now what? Sh!t, sh!t , sh!t ..... Okay breathe. Guys, I swear it's TOTM (from hell I might add) and I'm size 15.5 still. None of my clothes actually fit. I thought I had at least a week to order in something hot to this dead burg.... Why the heck did they close Wallis & Principles? Ugh.
And the absolutely worst part? I know he wants to see me to be a strong shoulder to cry on. Have I described the breadth of the shoulders ladies? You might faint, so I won't. Built up blokes were never my 'thang' if you get my drift, but from the eyes, to the conversation, to the butt..... Wooooweeeee
Okay. I'm sane again. I'll send a real casual "yeah, sure, what time?" text when my hands stop sweating lol xx
Clinquant
Gold Member
Send the text then there's no backing out. Wear the thing you look best and feel comfortable in now and order the hot outfit for the next time which will surely follow.
And he won't be looking into any dusty corners. A half an hour swoop will be sufficient to pass muster.
I don't think you've ever told us how you first met.
And he won't be looking into any dusty corners. A half an hour swoop will be sufficient to pass muster.
I don't think you've ever told us how you first met.
skydragon
Silver Member
pic s on here and they can be deleted as quick, we won t let you go out looking a sight
what were you wearing to the girls lunch, sure that may be a starting point.
if your unhappy with the home, dates can be conducted out with that environment, its terribly avant garde these days
and oh yes to any shape wear type thing.
oh and p.s your not hommer simpson and he is not a doughnut
xxxx
what were you wearing to the girls lunch, sure that may be a starting point.
if your unhappy with the home, dates can be conducted out with that environment, its terribly avant garde these days
and oh yes to any shape wear type thing.
oh and p.s your not hommer simpson and he is not a doughnut
xxxx
Beverley75
Silver Member
Lol I knew I could rely on you ladies! I wish I'd seen the suggestions to post pics earlier.... I tried on the top three outfits and unfortunately the winner was what I'd worn on our first date THREE YEARS AGO!?! Jeez! It's been THAT long and he's still keen? Glad I sent the text now!
So. Three years ago I was (Oooooh he just text me again! I feel like I've swallowed butterflies! Hang on, another one) Right, sorry. Three years ago I was single (ugh. Men are hard a$$ work. Hang on, text.) Blimey. So. Single, mid-CD (AGAIN) down to 15st 6lbs (yes, I actually remember. The melt down was bigger than tonight's), pretty sure I was comfortably in a size 16 (it's part of the story, whaddaya mean "who cares"? Lol) and decided to try a popular dating site online. Well, the weirdos just rolled in, let me tell you (more about the schizophrenic another time! True story.) Apparently I'd be a big hit in a geriatric convention.... And Germany.... Oh and a midgets club. Anyway, I was at that stage where I wasn't checking who sent a 'wink' or a message, every day nor even every week then I got a notification. Honestly, I almost didn't bother (I'd just been propositioned by a kindly gent who offered to lick my high heels (Niiiiice). I thought the username sounded interesting (obviously a reader) so logged on to have a look.... Then promptly called my oldest sister, gave her my password and told her to log on and look (I thought my eyes were deceiving me, and the work with youths in the community? Yum. Loved that willingness to serve).
I replied, we messaged for a week and still I thought "too good to be true", finally shared real world email addresses (and still I thought: "no way!").... Then we exchanged telephone numbers and I thought it was uber fishy that he could never hear me properly on the phone and preferred to text/email. He sent me links to his businesses and bio on LinkedIn and I had a wonderful sanctioned snoop (and still thought: "right, he's married with 8 kids and is looking for a roll in the hay" - look I'm being honest here. This is how I think.) So finally, I'm in size 16, I've put him off and vetted him long enough... So we arrange to meet at a smart/casual restaurant. (Pssst: I'm in the same fitted psychedelic purple and green Tunic I've earmarked for tomorrow - and leggings with high heeled knee length boots - looks a lot sexier and more striking/eye catching than it sounds. Good quality jersey from Wallis - and never fails to bring a compliment from men and, more importantly, women).
He's waiting at the front door as I pull up and park (my sister is in my ear piece and yes I gave her his license plate number Mom). And all I can think is "Cor, he's real!". So we sit at the bar while we wait for a table and talk...... And talk. I never did get my dinner. He's read all the same books as me.... And could talk about details! He likes the same films and can quote Star Trek. He's been married once and has two children: one older, one the same age as my Sunshine Boy. He spent 12 years (I think it was) in the army and is very private about what he's seen and what he's lost to war, but talks freely about the loss of his wife to his best friend, behind his back, during the army years. He started his own gyms and a company that does 'Close Protection' work (who else wants to warble "I will allllwaaaays love youuuu"? Is it just me? Oh, okay ) donates one day a week to teaching fitness and nutrition to community youth programs & did a Masters in Business (okay, cheating a bit on the last one - I found that out last year as he was doing it).
Anyway. Prefect. We dated for three months and then.... I don't actually know. We had a truly stupid argument (he says: "I went on that site where we met because I'd bought a 3 month subscription, but they automatically took the money again and saw your profile is still there. Why is it there?" - said with suspicion. Uh uh uh. Not a good tone to take with me - remember I have my own hang ups from 'king of the twats' - so I say: "I don't go on there, but your profile is obviously live. Why were you looking? you don't see me worrying". It's embarrassing beyond that point - let's just say he sulked, I sulked)....
THREE YEARS AGO!?! Jeez! It's been THAT long and he's still keen? Glad I sent the text now! So. Three years ago I was (Oooooh he just text me again! I feel like I've swallowed butterflies! Hang on, another one) Right, sorry. Three years ago I was single (ugh. Men are hard a$$ work. Hang on, text.) Blimey. So. Single, mid-CD (AGAIN) down to 15st 6lbs (yes, I actually remember. The melt down was bigger than tonight's), pretty sure I was comfortably in a size 16 (it's part of the story, whaddaya mean "who cares"? Lol) and decided to try a popular dating site online. Well, the weirdos just rolled in, let me tell you (more about the schizophrenic another time!
True story.) Apparently I'd be a big hit in a geriatric convention.... And Germany.... Oh and a midgets club. Anyway, I was at that stage where I wasn't checking who sent a 'wink' or a message, every day nor even every week then I got a notification. Honestly, I almost didn't bother (I'd just been propositioned by a kindly gent who offered to lick my high heels (Niiiiice). I thought the username sounded interesting (obviously a reader) so logged on to have a look.... Then promptly called my oldest sister, gave her my password and told her to log on and look (I thought my eyes were deceiving me, and the work with youths in the community? Yum. Loved that willingness to serve). I replied, we messaged for a week and still I thought "too good to be true", finally shared real world email addresses (and still I thought: "no way!").... Then we exchanged telephone numbers and I thought it was uber fishy that he could never hear me properly on the phone and preferred to text/email. He sent me links to his businesses and bio on LinkedIn and I had a wonderful sanctioned snoop (and still thought: "right, he's married with 8 kids and is looking for a roll in the hay" - look I'm being honest here. This is how I think.) So finally, I'm in size 16, I've put him off and vetted him long enough... So we arrange to meet at a smart/casual restaurant. (Pssst: I'm in the same fitted psychedelic purple and green Tunic I've earmarked for tomorrow - and leggings with high heeled knee length boots - looks a lot sexier and more striking/eye catching than it sounds. Good quality jersey from Wallis - and never fails to bring a compliment from men and, more importantly, women).
He's waiting at the front door as I pull up and park (my sister is in my ear piece and yes I gave her his license plate number Mom
). And all I can think is "Cor, he's real!". So we sit at the bar while we wait for a table and talk...... And talk. I never did get my dinner. He's read all the same books as me.... And could talk about details! He likes the same films and can quote Star Trek. He's been married once and has two children: one older, one the same age as my Sunshine Boy. He spent 12 years (I think it was) in the army and is very private about what he's seen and what he's lost to war, but talks freely about the loss of his wife to his best friend, behind his back, during the army years. He started his own gyms and a company that does 'Close Protection' work (who else wants to warble "I will allllwaaaays love youuuu"? Is it just me? Oh, okay ) donates one day a week to teaching fitness and nutrition to community youth programs & did a Masters in Business (okay, cheating a bit on the last one - I found that out last year as he was doing it). Anyway. Prefect. We dated for three months and then.... I don't actually know. We had a truly stupid argument (he says: "I went on that site where we met because I'd bought a 3 month subscription, but they automatically took the money again and saw your profile is still there. Why is it there?" - said with suspicion. Uh uh uh. Not a good tone to take with me - remember I have my own hang ups from 'king of the twats' - so I say: "I don't go on there, but your profile is obviously live. Why were you looking? you don't see me worrying". It's embarrassing beyond that point - let's just say he sulked, I sulked)....
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Beverley75
Silver Member
We didn't talk for a week. Then two. Then 3. His Dad had been really ill so I gave him space, then there were occasional texts to and fro which kind of trailed off. (I got ill with the Menorrhagia/hemorrhaging and Growth on my ovary etc etc and couldn't be arsed). He got back in touch in 2012 to tell me his father had passed away three months before and we picked up texting once again (oh, those late to the story: he's actually partially deaf from an IED but stubbornly refuses to wear hearing aids and has to strain to hear properly on a phone unless it's on speaker - not condusive to long phone calls).
.... Then the second light of my life died and I fell apart: My Dad. RC so wanted to be with me, comfort me, sit with me, but I felt like someone had turned my skin inside out and I was all raw exposed nerves. The only people I could stand near me were my baby boy and my Mum. Everyone else, every thing else was grating noise. He told me to take my time, he'd wait to be there for me when I was ready - and still sent me texts every day I was abroad at Dad's funeral and sorting his affairs. I came back and we stayed in touch. Then last year one conversation threw a spanner in the works: I said: "so, have you been dating?" (we were both out and about and actually talking for a change on the phone) he said "eh, there's been interest, but I've been waiting for you, grief is ugly and takes its own sweet time to move out but I'll keep waiting. You're worth it to me." Now. At first I was thrilled and made some joke and we flirted and laughed.... Then I thought 'selfish madam! You know you feel fat and ugly right now and have no intention of seeing him until you get some CD time under your belt' - so I opened my big fat gob and said: "no, seriously, I don't want you to put your life on hold waiting for me". Yeah. I was that stupid. Gosh, this is embarrassing. His response? Stony silence. An awkward few minutes and the conversation was over. BIG mistake. Huge.
Thennnnn he text me out of the blue telling me about his Masters and what he's been up to, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year etc etc and this time his cute self is mine! So now you understand the panic and how much tomorrow could mean. So rarely do you meet someone (man or woman) that you just click with, from the first second it's like meeting your best friend. He's stubborn, very masculine, wants to coddle me, infuriating, bossy, over protective, focuses on you completely, he sulks, he can brood, but oh.... he's fascinating, and cute, and funny, and charmingly insecure, tells stupid jokes, his laugh lights up his eyes, gives great cuddles, kisses like he's going to get paid, and makes you feel so safe and protected by just being still and quiet and by your side.
And what did he write all those years ago that made me take a chance?:
"Wow. Just: wow"
.... Then the second light of my life died and I fell apart: My Dad. RC so wanted to be with me, comfort me, sit with me, but I felt like someone had turned my skin inside out and I was all raw exposed nerves. The only people I could stand near me were my baby boy and my Mum. Everyone else, every thing else was grating noise. He told me to take my time, he'd wait to be there for me when I was ready - and still sent me texts every day I was abroad at Dad's funeral and sorting his affairs. I came back and we stayed in touch. Then last year one conversation threw a spanner in the works: I said: "so, have you been dating?" (we were both out and about and actually talking for a change on the phone) he said "eh, there's been interest, but I've been waiting for you, grief is ugly and takes its own sweet time to move out but I'll keep waiting. You're worth it to me." Now. At first I was thrilled and made some joke and we flirted and laughed.... Then I thought 'selfish madam! You know you feel fat and ugly right now and have no intention of seeing him until you get some CD time under your belt' - so I opened my big fat gob and said: "no, seriously, I don't want you to put your life on hold waiting for me". Yeah. I was that stupid. Gosh, this is embarrassing. His response? Stony silence. An awkward few minutes and the conversation was over. BIG mistake. Huge.
Thennnnn he text me out of the blue telling me about his Masters and what he's been up to, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year etc etc and this time his cute self is mine! So now you understand the panic and how much tomorrow could mean. So rarely do you meet someone (man or woman) that you just click with, from the first second it's like meeting your best friend. He's stubborn, very masculine, wants to coddle me, infuriating, bossy, over protective, focuses on you completely, he sulks, he can brood, but oh.... he's fascinating, and cute, and funny, and charmingly insecure, tells stupid jokes, his laugh lights up his eyes, gives great cuddles, kisses like he's going to get paid, and makes you feel so safe and protected by just being still and quiet and by your side.
And what did he write all those years ago that made me take a chance?:
"Wow. Just: wow"
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Beverley75
Silver Member
Right. All that was via my mobile! My fingers are killing me and it's now after midnight. Gotta sleep
Thank you, all of you lovely peeps for your beautiful words of condolence. It means so so much to know people care and reach out. Thank you. xx
Thank you, all of you lovely peeps for your beautiful words of condolence. It means so so much to know people care and reach out. Thank you. xx
Clinquant
Gold Member
To say I am excited about your evening is an understatement. Kept me distracted in my wakeful middle of the night. I am sure that your Wallis tunic is one I have - unfortunately in a 14, so it hasn't been out for a while. It was the same - everyone loved it, and it was my go-to dating dress when I was doing that.
Just go and have a lovely evening. If you trust him sufficiently, make yourself vulnerable and say what you think. Enough time has been wasted if this is the right thing. And have a brilliant, brilliant time. And in the words of Cilla, don't forget to come back and tell us all about it.
Just go and have a lovely evening. If you trust him sufficiently, make yourself vulnerable and say what you think. Enough time has been wasted if this is the right thing. And have a brilliant, brilliant time.
And in the words of Cilla, don't forget to come back and tell us all about it.
Beverley75
Silver Member
Thanks Lou and welcome aboard the good ship "Insanity" lol x
x
Beverley75
Silver Member
There's good news.... And crap news.... The good news is RC had been sending me sweet 'this is fantastic, can't wait to see you!' texts since yesterday.... The bad news is a fair few roads around here flooded overnight, RC provides contract bodyguards, bouncers and security for different venues and events as part of his company, and a night shift worker hasn't turned up! So guess who has to step in :break_diet:
He would still like to get together, but it'll be late and after tossing and turning all night in nervous excitement (and walking miles to get a fallback outfit for tonight!) I'm frigging shattered. I'm a bit disappointed, but ho hum.... I WILL be seeing this man before next Friday!!!!!!! :-( xx
He would still like to get together, but it'll be late and after tossing and turning all night in nervous excitement (and walking miles to get a fallback outfit for tonight!) I'm frigging shattered. I'm a bit disappointed, but ho hum.... I WILL be seeing this man before next Friday!!!!!!! :-( xx
Beverley75
Silver Member
D@mn.
