The LAST time!
- Thread starter Madoody
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Madoody
Full Member
It is indeed! feel back in balance now,and my energy levels and headaches are way better.
I ate tonight- was in Southampton seeing my folks and had a busy day -they gave me a FatFace voucher and we went to Winchester to wander around and spend it.Took a bar for lunch but by 6pm was flaking.Mum had roasted a chicken so I had some chicken breast and a slice of ham with some baby leaves (all fine for stepping up). I have never made an excuse to eat before, I can endure feeling pretty damn awful but because I am 'meant' to be refeeding this week in prep for going to Amsterdam on Saturday I gave in. I dunno,I feel really guilty - I don't want to eat when I have a stone to go, it is all a bit of a mind f***. This is my ninth week-I've been really driven to succeed and now it feels like I am tempting fate. However I know there is this little thing called 'life'.
Anyway, had FUN shopping-get that! Not something very common in my history.Looked disgusting in the changing room mirrors, but bought a jumper dress and had to go down from 14 to 12 which felt good, got a lovely cardi too and then a couple of cheapy primark jumpers. I noticed for a change I felt ok picking up anything - no longer have the fat-girl mindset that made me feel like an interloper in normal clothes shops hopefully sizing up the 16's in attempt to be 'normal'. Well that is progress.
Oh,and today I totally got checked out by a man- happened a couple of days ago too.Must have been pretty obvious for me to have noticed- makes me feel a bit weird to be honest,but I guess I shouldn't. Hmm.
I ate tonight- was in Southampton seeing my folks and had a busy day -they gave me a FatFace voucher and we went to Winchester to wander around and spend it.Took a bar for lunch but by 6pm was flaking.Mum had roasted a chicken so I had some chicken breast and a slice of ham with some baby leaves (all fine for stepping up). I have never made an excuse to eat before, I can endure feeling pretty damn awful but because I am 'meant' to be refeeding this week in prep for going to Amsterdam on Saturday I gave in. I dunno,I feel really guilty - I don't want to eat when I have a stone to go, it is all a bit of a mind f***. This is my ninth week-I've been really driven to succeed and now it feels like I am tempting fate. However I know there is this little thing called 'life'.
Anyway, had FUN shopping-get that! Not something very common in my history.Looked disgusting in the changing room mirrors, but bought a jumper dress and had to go down from 14 to 12 which felt good, got a lovely cardi too and then a couple of cheapy primark jumpers. I noticed for a change I felt ok picking up anything - no longer have the fat-girl mindset that made me feel like an interloper in normal clothes shops hopefully sizing up the 16's in attempt to be 'normal'. Well that is progress.
Oh,and today I totally got checked out by a man- happened a couple of days ago too.Must have been pretty obvious for me to have noticed- makes me feel a bit weird to be honest,but I guess I shouldn't. Hmm.
Madoody
Full Member
I am more than certain plenty of blokes have /do/will check you out lady,the thing is you just don't notice maybe?! I wonder if I am noticing because I can meet people's gaze now (on a good day) without shrinking off. Maybe, who knows. Or maybe I might be becoming one of those awful people with an ego.
well, I have one..yes ONE day until I jet off to AMSTERDAM.I canna bl@@dy wait! I have been at the farm all week with the kids, just come home this morning and on load number five of washing. Have to pack for them to go away for the weekend and all their stuff for school..as well as the hugely difficult task of packing for myself! Bought a couple of pairs of jeans yesterday-skinnies to go with boots, so irritating to have to get 14's as I could get in the 12's! But to get in doesn't mean look nice of course. The 14's are a bit baggy so their life may be pretty short.I hope.
So I have meant to be refeeding this week- had that major wobble day one of eating ..didn't bother for a couple of days after but OH cooked for me last few nights. I am kinda doing my own thing from experience of what keeps me in ket and is calorifically controlled around the 800mark. OH made me the most gorgeous fillet steak one night, small but perfect and rare with some stir fry calvero nero with a bit of chilli. And last night a fillet of bream and some of my home grown fennel braised in chicken stock.It was one of the most delicious things I have ever eaten. He is such a good cook and amazing what he can achieve with such limited ingredients-usually when I am limited by the rules of cd or whatever I eat the same things in boring monotony because I can't be bothered.Not eaten tonight but had a 4th shake instead-mind you today was a slim and save day so I should have 4 anyway. Need to WI tomorrow as my pre-trip weight. Eek. Not great that I have one day left and I still haven't figured out what I am going to do about eating. Ah well.
well, I have one..yes ONE day until I jet off to AMSTERDAM.I canna bl@@dy wait! I have been at the farm all week with the kids, just come home this morning and on load number five of washing. Have to pack for them to go away for the weekend and all their stuff for school..as well as the hugely difficult task of packing for myself! Bought a couple of pairs of jeans yesterday-skinnies to go with boots, so irritating to have to get 14's as I could get in the 12's! But to get in doesn't mean look nice of course. The 14's are a bit baggy so their life may be pretty short.I hope.
So I have meant to be refeeding this week- had that major wobble day one of eating ..didn't bother for a couple of days after but OH cooked for me last few nights. I am kinda doing my own thing from experience of what keeps me in ket and is calorifically controlled around the 800mark. OH made me the most gorgeous fillet steak one night, small but perfect and rare with some stir fry calvero nero with a bit of chilli. And last night a fillet of bream and some of my home grown fennel braised in chicken stock.It was one of the most delicious things I have ever eaten. He is such a good cook and amazing what he can achieve with such limited ingredients-usually when I am limited by the rules of cd or whatever I eat the same things in boring monotony because I can't be bothered.Not eaten tonight but had a 4th shake instead-mind you today was a slim and save day so I should have 4 anyway. Need to WI tomorrow as my pre-trip weight. Eek. Not great that I have one day left and I still haven't figured out what I am going to do about eating. Ah well.
Madoody
Full Member
The 'holiday' thing is already screwing with my head. Or maybe the AF thing is. So today I have eaten a tub of lf cottage cheese-just because. Then had tea of trout and salad- fine I guess as only had the 2 packs. But I also found myself wilfully nibbling a crust of bread to deliberately start bringing myself out of ketosis. And now the demons are well and truly awake. Craving sugar like crazy, want chocolate..just want something. I had to come upstairs because although my willpower is holding out so far, the inner dialogue is deafening.
What difference is it going to make, you aren't going to be 'good' away?
Why shouldn't you have something you want after almost 10 weeks of shakes-you deserve it!?
And lots of other claptrap telling me I am on the road to destruction. It is quite tiring. This all really is based on the fact that I am so scared and anxious of getting back on it after. I don't monkey around with vlcd's because I HATE getting into ketosis and I know it takes 110% total pigheaded stubbornness to get me through the first couple of weeks. First time is the golden time, it gets so much harder after that. And by going away I am making the choice to risk not completing my journey-God knows what I'll come back as,glycogen alone will be 6lbs or so.Back in the 13's I imagine.
So ridiculous, I should be excited and happy but I am agonising over effing food! Insanity!
Right, I will take my nutjob head off to finish packing nw I have ranted to myself. Goodbye!
What difference is it going to make, you aren't going to be 'good' away?
Why shouldn't you have something you want after almost 10 weeks of shakes-you deserve it!?
And lots of other claptrap telling me I am on the road to destruction. It is quite tiring. This all really is based on the fact that I am so scared and anxious of getting back on it after. I don't monkey around with vlcd's because I HATE getting into ketosis and I know it takes 110% total pigheaded stubbornness to get me through the first couple of weeks. First time is the golden time, it gets so much harder after that. And by going away I am making the choice to risk not completing my journey-God knows what I'll come back as,glycogen alone will be 6lbs or so.Back in the 13's I imagine.
So ridiculous, I should be excited and happy but I am agonising over effing food! Insanity!
Right, I will take my nutjob head off to finish packing nw I have ranted to myself. Goodbye!
huwiesmummy
Gold Member
diembroadhurst said:
Oh good luck. I have a bit under a months product I may use it after new year to do the same thing.
Supersmileyme
Gold Member
Good luck girlies, I'll be supporting you from the other side of the fence!
Madoody
Full Member
there is hunger in my belly, not fire! lol.
Got back late last night and back on the wagon. But not really feeling the effects as yet, just feeling bit hungry now(because i am making the kids veggie soup and the smell is hunger-invoking). Had a fantastic amazing time - I LOVE Amsterdam. I didn't have any limitations- I realised if I had I would have failed and come back miserable. As it was I expected to come back to an enormous weight gain and so it hasn't surprised me. I did wonder about not weighing for a week and just hoping a week getting back into ketosis would undo the damage -but I did. I felt I needed to see the carb gain (and whatever fat I have laid down) for accountability. I was 12.13 this AM,a whole 9lbs in 4 days - go me!However,in amongst that is a hell of alot of beer, salt, stomach -bloated gain that should leave pretty quickly. I can do this.It will hurt,but I can do it.
I made a few observations there.Numerous times I couldn't face eating when OH wanted too- a snack to him kept me totally full, I never used it as an opportunity to stuff chocolate (now that is a bl@@dy miracle!).I had some really yummy multicultural food,but some of it I know I forced down beyond being full purely because we had ordered it and it was a case of me thinking in old terms with regards to how much constituted a meal and I gave my body a horrible shock. I am actually really glad to have felt that -to have realised I wasn't hungry and to be whinging at OH about did he really need to eat again (he wasn't so glad). It may sound odd that I feel good about knowingly ignoring my body - but what was positive was that I did know,I did feel it and most of all - I didn't like it and would not have continued. Infact yesterday was pretty moderate and I am not at all wishing I could have had this or that before I go back on. This is defo a new thing, always in the past there has been something,a last meal. I hope this has done me good-and it would be great if it gave my metabolism a kick up the wotsit to get the rest off asap.
Oh and I love my new clothes - there was a Fat face in the duty free at Gatwick, I got another dress (rude not too when it was a tenner off)- and that feeling is worth it right
Got back late last night and back on the wagon. But not really feeling the effects as yet, just feeling bit hungry now(because i am making the kids veggie soup and the smell is hunger-invoking). Had a fantastic amazing time - I LOVE Amsterdam. I didn't have any limitations- I realised if I had I would have failed and come back miserable. As it was I expected to come back to an enormous weight gain and so it hasn't surprised me. I did wonder about not weighing for a week and just hoping a week getting back into ketosis would undo the damage -but I did. I felt I needed to see the carb gain (and whatever fat I have laid down) for accountability. I was 12.13 this AM,a whole 9lbs in 4 days - go me!However,in amongst that is a hell of alot of beer, salt, stomach -bloated gain that should leave pretty quickly. I can do this.It will hurt,but I can do it.
I made a few observations there.Numerous times I couldn't face eating when OH wanted too- a snack to him kept me totally full, I never used it as an opportunity to stuff chocolate (now that is a bl@@dy miracle!).I had some really yummy multicultural food,but some of it I know I forced down beyond being full purely because we had ordered it and it was a case of me thinking in old terms with regards to how much constituted a meal and I gave my body a horrible shock. I am actually really glad to have felt that -to have realised I wasn't hungry and to be whinging at OH about did he really need to eat again (he wasn't so glad). It may sound odd that I feel good about knowingly ignoring my body - but what was positive was that I did know,I did feel it and most of all - I didn't like it and would not have continued. Infact yesterday was pretty moderate and I am not at all wishing I could have had this or that before I go back on. This is defo a new thing, always in the past there has been something,a last meal. I hope this has done me good-and it would be great if it gave my metabolism a kick up the wotsit to get the rest off asap.
Oh and I love my new clothes - there was a Fat face in the duty free at Gatwick, I got another dress (rude not too when it was a tenner off)- and that feeling is worth it right
Madoody
Full Member
day 2... going ok. Just picked up my puppy so been nicely distracted - found it very hard to drive a 3hr round trip though, I need to wee all the time! I'm not even drinking much,it must be all the water I was holding in my body. Was 12.9 this AM so that is 4lb gone in 24hrs. Hope it continues to go down at that rate!
Have *the* headache. Good stuff,must be getting somewhere.
Have *the* headache. Good stuff,must be getting somewhere.
Supersmileyme
Gold Member
Ooh, what sort of puppy? *excited!*
Supersmileyme
Gold Member
Awww, cute. I love dogs, mine is my Surrogate child for sure!
Sage-femme
Silver Member
Awww gorgeous. my border collie cross passed away last week sorry to hijack your diary just excited for you
sorry to hijack your diary just excited for you
Madoody
Full Member
Aw sorry Chazsucks I will put on a pic later.
Well on puppy news - he is very happy this morning. It was a bit like going back to having a newborn,I am exhausted.MUCH more stubborn than Gun was to crate train, he is 10 weeks rather than 8 so I guess he might protest a bit more and being taken from his Ma. But I suspect he is just a wilful, slightly mental border collie. Don't get me wrong,love him to bits, but if I wanted another pet dog I would have got another lab. He has a working career ahead of him.Well saying that, he isn't going to make a great stock dog if he reacts to cows the same way he does to shiny new food bowls (so funny!).I suspect when Gun comes home he might get a bit braver about eating (you can't dither with a lab about!), being hand fed by a 7 yr old is lovely but not terribly practical!
On other news............ 12.6 wtf?!!!! Only 1lb left to pre Amsterdam weight! To say I am stoked is an understatement!!!! feel lardier though but hey.
I will put on a pic later. Well on puppy news - he is very happy this morning. It was a bit like going back to having a newborn,I am exhausted.MUCH more stubborn than Gun was to crate train, he is 10 weeks rather than 8 so I guess he might protest a bit more and being taken from his Ma. But I suspect he is just a wilful, slightly mental border collie. Don't get me wrong,love him to bits, but if I wanted another pet dog I would have got another lab. He has a working career ahead of him.Well saying that, he isn't going to make a great stock dog if he reacts to cows the same way he does to shiny new food bowls (so funny!).I suspect when Gun comes home he might get a bit braver about eating (you can't dither with a lab about!), being hand fed by a 7 yr old is lovely but not terribly practical!
On other news............ 12.6 wtf?!!!! Only 1lb left to pre Amsterdam weight! To say I am stoked is an understatement!!!! feel lardier though but hey.
